by Sara Schoen
I know how you feel, I thought as I shifted my stance. The way Fire Fox’s eyes sized me up told me he saw the change and knew I was deep in thought. He didn’t push me for information thankfully, not that I had any to share, and continued.
“Whoever it was. It’s someone who knew your plan.”
That narrows it down by a lot. The only people who knew the plan were Camo, Renegade, Spit Fire, Sandstorm, Rum, Demon, and myself. No one on this team would have done it, right? But clearly one of them had.
“I wouldn’t trust anyone right now, Night Stripe. Keep your mind open, and don’t let prior judgment cloud your thoughts. You know this person and that makes them all the more dangerous.”
I nodded in understanding as Fire Fox shifted slightly and relaxed into a position. We didn’t say another word, but communicated just the same. Be safe. Keep in touch. I got up a few moments later to help with the next patient, but saw Shadow and Maverick were already at the door. I moved out of the way to give them space and then left to get the next person. Shadow followed me out, leaving Maverick to secure the agent alone.
“What were you two talking about for so long? Maverick waited, but said he had a schedule to keep so we had to move the agent without you.”
I sighed, heading to the tent with my head down. “I can’t explain it here. I’ll take you back to the compound once we’re finished here and you have to promise to just listen to me. I have a lot to explain, Shadow, that means I don’t have time to mess around with you. Can you do that?” She nodded and went to work getting agents on the plane to head back to CIRA. The entire time we worked, Fire Fox’s words weighed heavily on me.
You know this person and that makes them all the more dangerous. Because they knew how I’d react and they’d stop me if I could. There’s one hell of a fight coming, I just hope I’m up for it.
Chapter 21
Shadow and I made our way back to the compound after assisting Maverick with the last agent. Watching him take off had been bittersweet because I worried about what those agents were going home to. Though I couldn’t go home until I was sure we found everything we needed from this compound. Hopefully after our talk, Shadow would take my newfound trust in her and stay out of the way so Spit Fire and I could finish, but I quickly realized how unlikely that was. Shadow bounced around, excitedly thanking me for letting her stay and asking five hundred different questions.
Was this what I was like when I first joined? Is that why the agents gave me a hard time? I glanced at her, hopping from tree limb to tree limb to practice the skill I had given her. She stumbled a few times, but was already improving from the improper sneaking tactics she had used on Spit Fire and me earlier. Though that didn’t stop the seemingly endless stream of questions. I’m so sorry to everyone I annoyed as a rookie, I thought, rubbing my temples in annoyance. Maybe everyone except Raider. He deserved it for his poor attitude.
“What were you and Fire Fox talking about?” she repeated as she landed on the next branch. I stepped forward, ending up in front of her, and ignored her question, but she didn’t give up. “You said you’d explain later.” She paused, giving me just enough time to wonder if she had finally given up before she leapt down from the trees in front of me. “It’s later, Night Stripe.”
I bit back a groan, suddenly annoyed with myself for promising to tell her anything. Sometimes waiting was necessary, to not give too much information or inaccurate information. That’s going to be a hard lesson for her to learn, especially if her team leader decides to hold back information for whatever reason. “We were talking about how you never listen to orders and I should’ve strapped you down so you’d go back to CIRA and finish your training.” I glared at her, but she didn’t seem fazed. I waved my hand dismissively, motioning toward the trees. “Keep practicing, Shadow. Just because you left CIRA, that doesn’t mean you get out of training.”
“Do I get out of training if I know what you were actually talking about?” She smirked at me. Mistake number one, I thought with a twisted smirk. She tilted her head in confusion when she noticed the change in my expression. Now I know her hand. She could have kept her mouth shut, waited for me to tell her when I was ready, and found out just the same. When is she going to learn anything I’ve been trying to teach her?
“No, because I know you were eavesdropping.” I raised an eyebrow at her, not letting up on my accusatory glare. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice?” She took a half step away from me and looked down at her feet so I couldn’t see her face, but I didn’t need to. I could feel the embarrassment radiating off her. Her shoulders slouched, her head hung low, and I’m sure if I could see her face it would be red.
There’s nothing worse than being a thief and being found out. It’s the job to stay a secret. To be discovered, well, it’s a blow to the ego. Not that I’d know from experience or anything. I kicked the ground, frustrated for all the times I had been caught, but they helped me improved. I learned from them. She’ll learn eventually too. One day it will all make sense to her. She just needs a chance, I tried to convince myself. “So, tell me, what did you hear? If you heard enough then maybe, just maybe, I’ll fill you in.”
“What if I don’t know anything?” She didn’t even look up at me to ask the question.
“Then I’ll keep it like that.” I smirked, knowing that wasn’t the answer she wanted. Though it would give me the response I needed. She’s determined and tenacious. She’d find a way to figure it out if she didn’t have the information, but I can’t hand it to her all the time. She should be able to extrapolate from what she heard. She needs to learn these skills, then she can be the agent I know she will grow to be. “It’s safer for you like that.”
She groaned and kicked the dirt beneath her feet. Her footsteps became heavy as she stomped around, clearly displeased with my choice. I smiled as I peeked at her out of the corner of my eye to see her deep in thought. Maybe she didn’t think it was worth it anymore. If she could think far enough ahead to piece all the information together there would be hope for her yet as a spy. I thought by holding it back it would force her to react how I would have as a rookie, show whoever was with me I could be an agent. But I guess she and I aren’t as alike as everyone, including myself, thinks.
“I know you think there’s a mole in CIRA, but have no idea who it is.” She looked at me, determination shining in her eyes, waiting to see if she had given me enough information. Starting off strong, I thought as I gestured for her to keep going. “You seemed freaked out once you got off the plane. So, he told you something you didn’t like.”
“That’s not a lot of information...” The teasing tone in my voice didn’t go missed. Shadow smiled, easing her tension slowly, as she continued.
“If I had to guess—”
“Don’t guess, you have to know,” I interjected. “There’s a difference between guessing and understanding what’s been laid out in front of you. You need to look at all the pieces and have them fit together, not force them together.” Which is what I’ve been doing lately. I’ve been trying to force a person into the mole, but I need their reasons to fall into place.
She nodded, falling silent for a few moments. She seemed thoughtful for a few moments, thinking to herself. I jokingly looking at my watch to tell her she was taking too long, and she blurted out her thought. “He knows who did it.”
I nodded, hesitating for a moment. “Kind of, but not really.” When I fell silent, she looked at me, waiting. Honestly, I wasn’t sure it was enough, but asking her to figure it out when I didn’t know the answer wouldn’t be fair. I’d have to give her this one. Though there would be more to come.
“Is it enough to know what’s going on?”
“Maybe,” I said with a smile. She perked up, her embarrassment and disgruntled thoughts past her now, and practically bounced up and down waiting for me to explain. “You know most of the ground work so that’s why I’m giving you this one. The next one won’t be so easy.” She nodded rapidly, though
I doubt it was from understanding. She just waited for me to explain as fast as possible. “You’re right, the problem is we have no idea who the mole is. Fire Fox narrowed it down and I don’t like who is on the list. If I didn’t like Fire Fox mentioning it, then you can guarantee I didn’t like Spit Fire confirming it with the information we have at the compound.” I had called Spit Fire in private just before Maverick left, so he could distract Shadow for me. The list of names was shrinking and I didn’t like it at all.
“Who’s on the list Spit Fire gave you?”
“Jackson, Damon, Tessa, others on my team, myself included and even Jenna, Rum’s original name. There’s a few other names, but I only know the agent name, any of them could be the mole or they could be someone else completely unrelated to CIRA. It’s a waiting game at this point. We have to wait and see who reveals themselves as the mole.”
“I thought Rum’s name was something her monk friends had given her,” Shadow chimed. “That’s what she told me when I met her anyway.”
I nodded, knowing where she was coming from, but slightly annoyed I had to explain this to her. I figured out Rum’s story wasn’t true before taking on the Cardoza mission in Georgia. Nothing added up and none of it made sense unless Rum explained it. Somehow, she made it seem real. So, I chalked up Shadow’s confusion for Rum’s story telling skills rather than her lack-luster critical thinking. I fell for it at one point, why wouldn’t Shadow? She’s a new agent, but eventually she’ll be able to see through lies like that. “You remember how hard your story was to tell me?”
Shadow nodded, but didn’t offer a verbal reply. I could see her fighting the rising emotions in her eyes. Flashes of grief, anger, and some I couldn’t recognize in time took over her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening her eyes again. She seemed to have recomposed herself, but if I knew anything about her, I knew she was still struggling internally with the emotions. I didn’t want to push her so I continued.
“So, you should know better than most. Sometimes a lie is easier to tell than the truth. The lie doesn’t have the emotional strain behind it, it doesn’t have the pain and suffering. Lying may not be easy, but some prefer keeping up a lie over admitting the truth because once the truth is out, there’s no going back.” I sighed, thinking about the lies I had told to cover up my thoughts to the Ricker’s before and after the suicide attempt, and how now I didn’t mind telling my story. I found strength in overcoming that dark time, but some people never find that. They hide it away until the succumb to the darkness. “And Rum’s story isn’t any different. She doesn’t want to talk about her real past so she made one up and that became her identity. That’s why we get code names, this is who we are now, and we can protect anyone from our past life. The code names aren’t for shits and giggles, it’s to give us a new life. That’s what CIRA is. A new chance at life.”
Shadow lowered her head again. For a minute, I thought she’d finally stop asking questions, but she couldn’t help herself. Much like someone else I know... “Is Renegade from your past life?”
I smiled, pulling her to me playfully and getting her to laugh. “No, he’s not. I wouldn’t have been nearly as lucky to meet him in my past life. He’s from CIRA. He’s part of the new life, but it’s rare to meet someone in this business because it’s dangerous. Don’t get your hopes up to meet some hot agent, Shadow. You’ll only be disappointed. Instead, focus on making new family members and friends, everything else will come naturally. Besides, you rarely get to see anyone outside of the agency, so you should get comfortable there.”
Shadow fell silent once again, but this time it was different. A heavy frown and worried expression had settled onto her features. I could almost see the dark cloud hanging over her head. I tilted my head to get a better look at her, only to see a single tear running down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly before her brown eyes shifted to me. “Do we ever see anyone from our past life?”
“Well, we’re not supposed to. I haven’t seen my family in a while. It’s advised not to because you can bring attention to them, and with who we deal with, you really don’t want anyone to know you’re attached to people on the outside.” I kept quiet on my family visits. I knew they were in danger whenever I saw them, but they accepted it as did I. I liked being able to talk to them, but that was pulling major strings I didn’t have control over. No one was meant to be in contact with people from their past lives. Everyone would be upset to know Renegade and I were able to. We had to keep it a secret. “Why do you ask, Shadow?”
“There’s just only person I’m going to miss...Someone who saved me…” Her voice drifted. I waited for her to elaborate, but she never did. I didn’t push her, so we walked the rest of the way to the compound in silence. Everything comes out in time and this will be no different…
Chapter 22
Shadow spent most of the day running errands for me, which involved finding papers that didn’t exist to get her out of my hair. Guilt washed over me for giving her menial, impossible tasks because she felt the need to please me, but she had been suffocating me the last two days. She wouldn’t stop asking questions about the mole as if it was a game of Clue and I had the answer hidden somewhere. She had come up with her own theories, which thankfully didn’t include anyone from my team. I’m having a hard-enough time on my own coming to terms with that. I didn’t need her help.
But she brought up solid points. Could any of them be capable of outing CIRA, injuring Fire Fox, and risking every agent there? I didn’t want to believe it, but I had to keep the option open. Shadow’s questions echoed in my mind. “What if someone is framing your team? What if it’s another agent?” I sighed heavily as I thought it over. Is it possible? Sure, but is that what’s happening? Doubtful. They’d need to know a lot of information on not only me, but the team. I have a hard time believing someone outside of the team would know that. Didn’t mean it wasn’t possible, just unlikely.
“Night Stripe, come here.” Spit Fire’s command broke through my thoughts, but I still wondered how we’d find the mole in time. What will happen while we’re all gone? Is this part of Sharp Shooter’s plan or are we playing into whatever the mole has planned? “I found something that you’re going to want to see.” Spit Fire slapped a stack of papers down on the desk, forcing me back to the present and out of my mental reverie. Though I doubted it would be long before I sunk back into it.
I put down the box of documents on the floor beside my chair. There wasn’t much of use in there, but I had a feeling about some of the documents, we just needed time to decipher it. And time was slowly running out.
“I don’t like the sound of that,” I replied as I got up, noting the low, displeased tone of her voice. Spit Fire was always serious, but something about her tone always told me what the topic was about. This one wasn’t going to be fun. “So, what did you find?” I leaned against the back of her chair and waited for her to explain.
She lifted the top sheet of paper and passed it to me. “This sheet with agent names on it has more than just our team.”
I knew where this was going. She’s letting Shadow get to her. She’s starting to think this was a set up by another agent. It’s just too unlikely. “Fire Fox said it had to be someone who knew our plan for attacking the compound. He said whoever he walked in on was telling them what to do and where to go, Spit Fire. I know you don’t want it to be a friend, but it more than likely is.”
“Someone could have been listening to us, Night Stripe.” Spit Fire’s eyes gave her away the moment she looked at me. Even she didn’t believe it was an outside agent. The betrayal lingering in her eyes said she knew it was a friend, but she wanted to hope no one we knew would fight against us. We wanted to believe that if it came to that, they’d choose to save us and the other agents instead of a cartel. I appreciated her optimism, but this wasn’t a time for optimism.
“Then why didn’t the mole go after Renegade to prevent the slaughter he caused with the machine gun? Why wa
rn the cartel members when the mole could’ve prevent it?” I paused, letting her think it over for a second. It didn’t take long before her eyes shifted from hopeful to pure anger. The chances anyone would step out in front of a gun for another were limited, especially with someone as treacherous as this mole. “They couldn’t show their face to us or we’d know. It’s not a cartel member listening in on us and helping their friends. It has to be an agent.”
I nodded, glad that she had come to this conclusion. It hurt, but it had to be done. Optimism wasn’t a choice anymore; we had to think realistically. Though, she still hadn’t made it far enough in understanding we knew this person personally, because her next suggestion was, “What about an agent who’s not on our team?” Which, unfortunately, meant I had to burst her bubble further.
“Who else would have noticed you missing and followed Rum and Siren out here? How would they know where you went? How would seven CIRA agents not notice being followed?” I paused once again and watched Spit Fire’s inner battle rage wildly in her eyes. Once she seemed to have found her answer, I continued. “If it is another agent, I’ll be all too happy to end them. What do we do if it’s not another agent, but someone we trusted?”
Spit Fire looked up at me with a gaze that solidified her name and temperament. The pure hatred and betrayal lingering in her eyes said it all. “We kill them just like we would any other agent.” She flinched, as if it pained her to say that. “But first, we make them suffer for every agent they got killed because they gave us up. They killed our friends, and I don’t care what their excuse is. There’s nothing good enough to side with a cartel and kill friends. I don’t care who they are. I’ll kill them myself if I have to.” She slammed her hand down on the desk just as the phone rang, interrupting her rant. She picked it up and angrily talked into the phone. “What do you want?”
