The part of Luanne that was conditioned to be grateful for any tiny morsel of affection and acceptance from her family wanted to back down from this fight. She pulled on her short black hair.
Not this time. Not this time.
“One little thing? For the love of God, Gigi, he lied to me to get me to marry someone so he could gain a professional advantage. That’s not love.” She sucked down a lungful of air to offset the threat of tears. “I can’t believe you can’t see that.”
Then it hit her. Her grandmother knew. She knew and had gone along with the plan. “You knew, didn’t you Gigi?”
“I certainly did.” She could see the woman sit up straighter and jut her chin in the air, like she always did when she got defensive. “It was what was best for all of us, and now you’ve gone and ruined it. I want you home by tomorrow. Maybe we can still salvage this deal like a real family.”
Lies. All lies. When will I ever fucking learn? The last remnant of family swirled down the toilet. She was alone.
“When can I expect you back, Luanne? I want to be able to tell your father, he’ll be so excited.” The manic tone of the woman’s voice was confirmation of all that Luanne had just worked out. She’d be able to present Luanne to her father like a prized turkey.
“I’m not coming back, Gigi.” She hated the defeated tone of her voice. “And when I do come home, I won’t marry Doug, I won’t be Marcus’s pawn, and I won’t see you.”
“I have never—”
She couldn’t listen anymore. “Goodbye, Gigi.”
She handed the phone back to Jack without making eye contact. “Thank you.”
“I’m sorry.”
His sincerely spoken words were almost her undoing. She waved his comment away and pulled on the mask of indifference. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve always known how it was.” That was a lie.
A big, huge lie.
Jack had wished for a few things in the last couple of minutes. One, that he could’ve given Luanne some privacy during that conversation, if only to protect her pride. Two, he wanted to pummel Marcus Price, and then do it again. The man was truly a pimple on the butt of humanity. Three, if he could get to her, he’d wring Gigi’s neck. The hurt that stained Luanne’s face was enough to make him homicidal. And four, he wished Luanne would let him comfort her.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He knew it was a loaded question, but he couldn’t pretend he hadn’t heard anything. He wasn’t that good of an actor.
“Not really.”
“I understand.” It’d been a long shot, but he had to ask.
She turned her sad sapphire gaze to his. “What’s wrong with me, Jack?”
“Absolutely nothing,” he said with as much confidence as he could muster.
“Sure seems like there’s something wrong with me. I can’t ever seem to do enough for my family.”
He couldn’t take it anymore. She might bite his arm off, but he had to try. Cautiously, so as not to spook her, he slipped his arm around her shoulder. When she didn’t try to gut him, he drew her to him and kissed the top of her head. She smelled like fresh rain and a lifetime of disappointment. “Tell me about it, Luanne. We’ve got a long bus ride together and I’m already bored.”
She gave a sad laugh into his chest. “Well, by all means, let me ease your boredom with stories of my sad childhood.”
“Was it all sad?”
She sucked in a huge gulp of air, and he thought that maybe he should’ve started with a more benign question.
“Not when I was with Scarlett and her family.”
“I’m sorry.”
That seemed to be all the comfort she could stand, because she pulled away from him and scrubbed her face with her hands, shook back her hair, and almost, but not quite, succeeded in pulling on the mask of badassness she wore all of the time.
“Nothing for you to be sorry about. It was my messed-up universe, and at the center of the whole screwed-up thing is Marcus Price.” She threaded her fingers together in her lap. “My mother and Marcus started dating right after she graduated from high school. He was five years older than her and she worshipped the ground he walked on. When I say dating, I use that word loosely. They snuck around and hooked up for a while. My mother wasn’t acceptable dating material for someone like Marcus Price.”
“Was he still living in Zachsville?”
“No. He’d just graduated from college and was living in Austin, so they didn’t see each other that often. To hear my mother tell it, it was exciting and adventurous. He’d sweep into town, pick her up, and off they’d go to some motel. It’s sad really, that she could call something like that a real relationship.” Luanne wiped at her eyes. “Anyway, they’d been together about six months when she got pregnant. I have no idea if it was an accident or she did it intentionally. Either way, he freaked when she told him, and broke it off immediately.”
“Dick.”
She laughed, but there wasn’t an ounce of humor in it. “Yes, well, he can be that, but he can also be persuasive and charming. He wanted her to get an abortion, but—”
“She told you that?”
She picked at the label on her water bottle. “No. He told me when I was eight, and Gigi insisted he take me to the circus. It’s one of the few memories I have of us doing anything together. Evidently, he had to change some important plans to be able to go, and he felt I needed to know that if he’d had his way, I would’ve never been born.”
“I’m so sorry.” What do you say to counter growing up with a monster like that?
“The thing is, he has this way of saying terrible things and you think he’s being nice until later when you replay the conversation in your head. It screws with you. I didn’t even know what an abortion was. I had to look it up when I got home.”
Horror raced through his veins. He tried as hard as he could to keep it off his face—she would hate his pity. “What kind of sick bastard says that to a kid?”
She continued like she hadn’t even heard him. “When I told my mother, she swore he was lying. But when I pressed her about it, she actually defended him. He’d left her pregnant, penniless, and humiliated for years, and she still defended him.” She snorted. “Then she asked if he’d said anything about her.”
This was all kinds of fucked up, and his heart broke for her. “Some people’s capacity for narcissism is unbelievable.”
“She asked me that every time I saw him, which wasn’t often, and he never came to the house to get me. Gigi always picked me up, and you should’ve seen the two of them, Mama and Gigi, clucking over me, making sure my dress was cute, my hair was combed, and my hands were clean.” She pulled her legs into the seat and snuggled into the corner. “I’d get a lecture from my mother to be sweet and pleasant, to not make trouble and do what my daddy said. Then I’d get the same lecture from Gigi. They’d both tell me how much my daddy loved me and how glad he was going to be to see me, but when I was with him it always felt off. Oh, he said all the right things, but he wasn’t like they said he would be. It was…what’s the word?”
“Abusive.”
“No. I was never abused. No one ever laid a hand on me.” She snapped her fingers. “Mixed signals. Those kinds of mixed signals mess with your head.”
“And you don’t call that abuse?”
“No, don’t be ridiculous, Jack. I was cared for, no one hurt me or left me alone for days on end like poor Gavin.”
Not true, if what she’d told him was accurate. A million statements ran through his head, but he stayed silent, and let her talk.
“My mom was young and desperate. And Gigi, well, he’s her son.” She shrugged. “I don’t think they could help it.”
Bullshit. But he wouldn’t say it out loud. Somehow he knew she wasn’t ready to hear that yet. “What happened to your mom?”
She glanced out the window. “She died of a broken heart. For years she hung onto the hope that Marcus would come back, then we heard he was engaged, and she couldn’t take i
t.”
“She committed suicide?”
“Not outright. But she wasted away to nothing and died in her sleep one night. I was nine. After that, I went to live with Gigi.”
“That’s horrible, Luanne.”
“Yeah, it is. Loving Marcus Price sucked the life out of her.”
“I don’t really get the dynamic between you, your grandmother, and Marcus.” He adjusted his long legs to try to make them fit better in the small space.
“It’s not that complicated. As you know, Marcus’s treatment of women is abysmal, and that includes his mother. But it’s candy-coated cruelty. He leaves you in a haze of false adoration. Like I said, you don’t know you’ve been conned, charmed, or lied to until he’s long gone.”
“He must be really good, because you see straight through my bullshit.”
“Oh, I’m probably the biggest sucker around when it comes to him.” She rubbed her temples like she could dislodge some memory. “I was never in love with Doug.”
“Thank God. Otherwise I’d have to have your head examined.”
She gave a mirthless laugh. “Yeah, well. I didn’t lie to you about why I was marrying him though. My dad convinced me that he wanted me taken care of when he was gone. That it was good for me to have someone like Doug, who could provide for me. I bought every ounce of his bullshit. Lapped it up with a spoon. It’s humiliating to think a few crumbs of affection could make me lose my mind.”
Jack shrugged. “He’s your dad. I’m sure on some level he meant what he said.”
She picked at a loose piece of leather on the armrest. “I told you the reason I ran from the wedding was that I saw Doug with another woman.”
“Yes.”
“That was true—I did see him with his girlfriend—but I ran because of what Marcus did.”
He nodded. “I heard.” Was there more to this sick, sad story?
Her hands clenched then unclenched in her lap. “Not only had he given me to Doug, he told my fiancé he could have all the girlfriends he wanted after we were married.”
“Are you kidding me?” Rage crackled within him. He’d find a way to make Marcus Price pay for what he’d done to this beautiful woman.
“When I confronted him about it, he denied it. Said there’s no way he would’ve done that. He was so sweet and caring, I began to believe I was mistaken. I know what I heard, Jack. But for a minute I questioned my memory. That’s why I can’t go back right now. I’m afraid I won’t be able to tell him no. Not yet. I’m getting stronger though—there’s no way I would’ve spoken to Gigi like that a week ago.”
He squeezed her knee. “Progress.”
She gave a half laugh. “Yeah. Anyway, he can barely be around Gigi or me for longer than a day. But she’s always believed him and hoped we’d be a real family someday. And if I’m honest, so have I.” She looked up at him and the pain written on her face nearly knocked him out of his seat. “Pretty sad, right?”
He took her face in his hands and looked her square in the eye. “They’re the losers in this tale, Luanne. In spite of everything, you are loyal, kind, and brilliant. It’s them I feel sorry for, because they’re so blinded by their own selfishness that they can’t see the amazing person you are.”
She tried to dip her head, but he wouldn’t let her. “I mean it, Luanne.”
“Thank you.” Her dark lashes fluttered.
This time when she tried to look away, he let her. He knew how hard it was for someone like her to admit this stuff to him.
“Scarlett says the same thing to me. If it hadn’t been for her and her family there’s no telling where I would’ve ended up. The only real love I’ve ever known is from Scarlett, and my only example of how a family should treat each other is from her family.”
He made a mental note to hug Scarlett the next time he saw her. “You spent a lot of time with them?”
“Every chance I could, especially after I went to live with Gigi.” She pulled two long Twizzlers from the pack and handed one to him. Then she gave him a look of disbelief. “I can’t believe I told you all of that.”
“Frankly, I can’t either, but I’m glad you did. I swear it stays between us.” He held up his Twizzler.
She smiled and tapped her candy to his. Something warm and luscious rippled under his ribs, and it made him happier than he’d ever been.
Chapter 18
Jack paced the lobby of the Porter County bus station. Being cooped up in a bus seat for two hours had taken its toll on his back. His long legs weren’t made to fit into such a small space. Did Mitch Rawlings have long legs? He glanced at his hands. Long fingers and toes? He’d always known he didn’t look like the father he’d grown up with, but he looked enough like his mother that the question of having another father had never even crossed his mind.
How was he supposed to process this? How many hours on a therapist’s couch would it take to make peace with the fact that his mother, the only person in the world who he’d ever truly trusted, had lied to him his whole life? An unexpected fury roared through him, and on the heels of the fury came a bone-crushing guilt. He loved his mother, and he’d find a way to forgive her.
He was distracted from his personal crisis when Luanne came strolling out of the bathroom. She was talking to a mother and her little girl. Something the little girl said made her laugh and the sound chased away his misery. How someone who’d been treated so badly as a child could’ve grown into such an amazing woman was beyond him.
She waved to the little girl and her mother and made her way to him.
“Making friends?”
“Yeah, they’re headed to see the little girl’s father at Fort Benning. He’s coming home from a nine-month deployment, and they’ve been living with family while he was gone.” She watched the mother and child make their way to the ticket line. “She showed me pictures her daddy drew and sent to her while he’s been away. They’re very sweet.”
They sat in a couple of seats next to the window to wait for their bus. “Sounds like a good guy.”
“The mom said this was his third deployment in four years. I can’t imagine the kind of stress she must live with every day.” She took a deep breath and blew it out. “The good news is, this is his last trip ever. He’s out after this. Lucy, the little girl, said they’re getting a house and she’s getting a puppy.”
“Did you ever have any pets?”
“No. Mama wouldn’t let me, and Gigi’s allergic to almost everything. You?”
“A blue tick coonhound named Sis. After we got settled my dad came home with this puppy and I just about peed my pants. Cutest little speckled thing you ever did see, she and I were inseparable. My mother originally said she couldn’t stay in the house, but after I kept sneaking her in to sleep with me, she finally gave up that fight.”
“Sis, huh?”
“Yeah, I loved that dawg. She passed after I left for college. Mom said she was only waitin’ for me to get settled and then she let go. I cried like a baby. Here I was, this eighteen-year-old boy, hidin’ under his covers cryin’ over a dawg.”
She laughed. “Your accent comes out when you talk about your life in Louisiana. Did you know that?”
“Really? I never noticed, but then again I don’t usually talk about my life there.” And wasn’t that a little sad? He wasn’t that poor kid wearing hand-me-down clothes anymore. He was successful, intelligent, and had everything he ever wanted. Maybe it was time to make some peace with his past.
She leaned to one side then the other to stretch out her neck and back. “The bus was nice enough, but I feel all stove up, as Honey would say.”
“Me too. I had to take a couple of laps around the lobby to work out the kinks.”
She grabbed her left elbow with her right hand, and stretched her arm across her body. A glare flashed, nearly blinding him. “Hey. Put your hand down.”
“What?”
“The sun reflecting off that rock on your hand damn near blinded me.”
“Oh, it’s my engagement ring.”
They both froze. They looked at the ring, then at each other, then back at the ring.
“Are you telling me that I took my clothes off for money in order for us to survive, when you had that three-carat monstrosity on your finger the whole time? Mother—” His hands went to his waist and his fingers flared across his hip bones. “I can’t believe this.”
Her hand flew to her mouth and the ring mocked him.
“Oh, my lord, I don’t even notice it’s there most of the time.”
“How can you not notice that rock?”
She held her hand with the other and gazed at the ring. “The setting’s flat. It never snags on my clothes or anything…I forget I have it on most of the time.”
“How did Pearl and June miss that thing when they robbed us?”
“I had your jacket on and it covered my hands. They never asked me to take it off and I was so freaked out I never thought of it. And by the way, you only took your shirt off.”
He stood and took her hand. “Come on.”
“Where are we going?”
“To pawn that sucker.”
“Fake? Fake?” Luanne fumed, stomping down the street. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this angry. “I’m going to kill that lying piece of horse shit.”
“Wait up, Luanne.” Jack jogged to catch up with her.
“No.”
His big hand wrapped around her upper arm and he pulled her to a halt. “Stop. Think about what you want to do. Take a deep breath and calm down a minute.”
Anger sizzled through her whole body. Even the tips of her ears burned. “Don’t you tell me to calm down, Jack Avery.”
“All I’m saying is you don’t want to go off half-cocked. Let’s get a plan together, then I’ll help you hang the guy.”
She sucked in a lungful of cool, crisp West Virginian air, letting it calm her fury long enough to think. “Alright, a plan is good. You’re right. We need the perfect plan so that I may relieve my ex-fiancé of his balls.”
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