by SE Reynolds
"What the heck?" Josh says as he bends down to pick it up, "That looks like spit!"
"More like phlegm, yuck."
"Great, someone decided to spit a big loogie on my sign. Couldn't they see it fell off? They didn't have to pick it up, but to just spit on it as they pass by, gross!"
"It didn't fall off the hangar, Stacie. It looks like it was yanked. See, the chain is broken."
"Why would someone do that?"
"It was probably some stupid kids. I wouldn't worry about it, but if it happens again, you may want to report it."
Joshua takes a tissue out of his pocket, wipes it off, and leans the sign up against the door.
"Thanks, Joshua; I'll take care of it on Monday."
Josh takes my hand and leads me back to my car. I feel like he's my dad leading me to safety, but I don't mind. I like holding his hand regardless of his intentions.
"Thanks for coming to hear my speech, Stacie."
"Oh sure, I mean, I was just coming in for some ice cream, and there you were."
"Stop it, Stacie."
Josh stops walking, grabs my shoulders, and turns me towards him like I'm a little girl getting ready to be scolded.
"You didn't come for the ice cream, Stacie."
"I didn't?"
"No, you didn’t; you came for me. You knew I was going to speak, and you came to see me."
He stares at me so intensely I want to look away, but his eyes are like magnets pulling mine back to his.
"Yes, I came to see you. I guess I just wanted to be around you again."
My legs are going to give out any second, and he will have to pick me up off Main Street. Josh holds my face, keeping me from collapsing.
"You're a very sweet person, Stacie. I like having you around," he says and then gently kisses me.
It's the sweetest kiss I've ever had, and I don't want him to stop. I reach for his face and bring it back to mine. I kiss him passionately like I would want him to kiss me. He lets me, and I finally release him.
"I'll text you tomorrow, Stacie. Thank you for a nice night."
He gives me a real hug like he hasn't seen me in a very long time. I bury my face in his neck. He smells musty sweet, like day-old cologne, and I inhale it. I don't ever want to release him. I drive home in silence because I want to replay everything that just happened without interruption. But before I do, I say a little prayer.
Dear God, I hope he doesn't wake up and change his mind. Please don't let him do that. Please don't let him send me a just wanna-be-friends text tomorrow. I'd rather never hear from Josh again than get that kind of text from him. Amen.
Chapter 28 – Virginia
I wake up at 3:00 a.m. to pee, and my mouth feels like I've been sucking on cotton all night. My head is throbbing, but it isn't until I lie back down, I remember my nightmare. I pick up my phone and open my messages. My nightmare is real. I knew what I sent Joshua was bad, but I didn't realize it was so ugly. I read it with one eye closed. All the typos; he'll know I was sloshed. Not again! Oh, but this time it's much, much worse. I remember drinking and not eating. I remember drinking and pacing around the living room like a trapped animal. I remember picking up my phone, and I remember the gratification I got after each text I sent. I really thought this time I would wake up pleased with myself, knowing I wasn't going to be taken for a fool. But I don't. Instead, I feel anguish disguised as prickling heat and sweat washing over me. The bitter taste of acid creeps up the back of my throat. I run to the bathroom, hoping to throw it up, but nothing comes out. I feel like something is rotting in my gut. I can't let it fester inside of me. I need immediate relief, so I stick my fingers down my throat to release more of the sickness. Glasses and glasses of vinegar wine come pouring out of my throat.
Oh, it burns. Finally, there is nothing left but one last dry heave. I wash my hands and stagger back to bed. Joshua never responded, but I could see he read each text as read displays under the last line I typed. I ruined it. I ruined everything. I need to fix things, but I don't know how. I wish I could have a re-do. I wish I could erase the last eight hours, but most of all, I wish I could erase Stacie Shewster.
I stay awake the rest of the morning lying in my vomit smell. I don't want to fall asleep. I don't want to drift off to forgetful land just to wake up back to this shit- reality hitting me in the face again. I can't function, not today. I text Robert.
Hey cutie, I'm sick. I don't want you to catch it. Do you think you can stay with your dad another day?
I lay the phone next to my head and close my eyes. I'll call Joshua and apologize. I'll tell him I had some wine and mixed it with migraine medicine. It's obvious I wasn't myself. He will understand that. He should understand how upset I was seeing him and Stacie together. The wine and meds just magnified everything. I call him but immediately hang up, knowing he will let it go to voice mail, and I will be forced to leave a groveling voice mail message that will sound insincere. It's better if I text him.
Hi Joshua, I am so sorry about those crazy texts I sent last night. I had a couple of glasses of wine, migraine medicine, and no food. Bad combination! I saw you on the news and saw Stacie next to you. That's all I really remember. I woke up and read the texts I sent you. It was like an alien took over my body. I'm really sorry. I hope we can talk, maybe get some dinner this weekend? My treat!
I lay the phone down, and a minute later, it buzzes. I grab the phone.
Sure, Mom, Dad said it's okay. I hope you feel better.
My stomach sinks again. I decide that forgetful land is a much better place than my reality, so I take two Benadryl to knock myself out. When I wake back up, Joshua will have texted me back. I'm sure he will understand. He has to.
Chapter 29 – Joshua
Virginia has become a cancer, and like a cancer, she is dangerous and hard to get rid of. I have to slowly kill the cancer until it shrivels up and dies. She cannot be in my world anymore, or she will ruin my reputation. She's angry and insecure, and that's a dangerous combination. It's time to eradicate Virginia. That's what I get for being led by my dick. No more.
That's okay, Virginia. Drunk-medicated texting is not a good thing. I hope you are feeling better. How do you know Stacie?
I am so glad you understand! I texted some terrible things. I met Stacie at Misty's studio. I didn't realize you are friends. So how about that dinner? I'm sure I will feel better tomorrow.
It's a small town. I like to get to know the local business owners. Stacie is a very nice person. You should get to know her. Sorry, can't do dinner. I have plans with JJ.
What about lunch?
I have plans with JJ all day.
Okay, some other time. Maybe during the week. I'll cook. Again, so sorry about those crazy texts.
It's fine. I hope you feel better.
Man, she is clueless. How could she think I would ever want to see her again after her fucked up text? I just want her to slowly fade away. I don't want to piss her off anymore. I'm not going to poke the bear, as my mother used to say. I have too much to lose.
Stacie, sweet, sweet Stacie. She could be my Jessie, my sidekick. I should just leave her alone, but I feel protective of her. I shouldn't have kissed her; I crossed the line. She's not the kind of woman I'd buy flowers for, and she knows it. I will only hurt her; it's inevitable. But what if I don't? She may not be my type, but she's exactly what I need, a possible first lady. She may not attract the kind of voters Melissa did, but maybe that's okay. Stacie is educated, smart, part of the community, and makes a pretty paycheck. Instead of being a gorgeous power couple like John and Jackie or Melissa and me, we could be an intellectual power couple, like Bill and Hillary. The feminists would love her. She's independent, has her own career, full of substance. People would admire her; they would admire me for finding her, a woman of substance and not just a piece of ass. Besides, a piece of ass just clouds my judgment; crazy Virginia has proven that. I could attract an entire new base with Stacie. I need a clear head and a loyal, depe
ndable woman by my side. I have a plan, and Stacie Shewster is a big part of it.
Chapter 30 – Stacie
Good morning, Stacie. I hope you slept well. I can help you fix your sign if you'd like. I thought we could go to brunch tomorrow and then go by your office. I can pick up a chain today. It will be as good as new. Well, after I disinfect it, that is.
Is he asking me out on a real date? It's not like a dinner date with candlelight and wine, but I'll take it. Brunch is good enough for me. I re-read the text at least a dozen times before I respond.
Tomorrow works for me, Josh. I appreciate your help.
Great, I'll pick you up. It's about time we had a proper date. What's your address?
Well, I guess it's official then. It's not just brunch; it's a brunch date, a real proper date. I take a picture of the text and save it to my photos, a little keepsake to remind me of this day. This may be the beginning of something amazing, something I will look back on…See this, kids. This is the text that started it all for your dad and me….
I stand in front of my bedroom mirror, twisting and turning, trying to figure out what provoked him to ask me out. I do look a little thinner. Ever since Josh and I had our first pretend date at the bar, I feel like I'm on the best drug ever. I'm not hungry like I usually am. When I think of him, I feel high, and today, I'm beyond high; I'm euphoric. I read an article about falling in love when I was so desperate to find it. There is a chemical called phenylethylamine. It's the same chemical in certain foods like chocolate. No wonder I love the feeling so much. I must be falling in. Okay, okay, I need to get a grip. A man like Joshua doesn't just ask women like me out every day, but we've developed a friendship. He got to know the real me. Not like the other dates who never gave me a chance; looks only go so far. I once read an article that popped up on my Facebook feed that said men are visual creatures. A woman has to visually stimulate him first, and once that happens, it's all about keeping him by being aloof and playing hard to get. If he texts, she should wait at least two hours before responding. If he asks her out for the next day, she should say she is busy, even if it means she has to stay home and sit in front of the TV watching Days of Our Lives on DVR. It didn't work for Virginia, or I assume it didn't. He wouldn't ask me out if he's still seeing her. But like me, she was at Bennie's, wanting to support him, until she saw me. To say she didn't look happy is an understatement. She looked incensed out of her mind yesterday. Oh God, maybe he is still seeing her. He could be playing the field or whatever you call it these days when a man just dates multiple people, without committing to any of them until he meets the one, kind of like the Bachelor. Why can't I be his one? I don't care if he is seeing her too. I deserve this date. I'm sorry, Virginia, but I can't worry about what happens to you. It's my turn.
∞∞∞
I could barely sleep last night. I kept waking up and reminding myself my date with Josh is real and not a scene in one of my dreams. It's really going to happen, and I have no idea what I'm going to wear. Every time I see Josh, I'm leaving the office. He's only seen me in boring pantsuits. Sunday brunch calls for something feminine, something I'd see on the cover of a Macy's catalog, maybe their spring collection. I see a glimpse of baby blue and white flowers poking out of the back of my closet. It's the dress I wore to my sister's baby shower a couple of years ago. I pull it out. It's flowy and has a V-neck that shows just enough cleavage. It has short sleeves but not sleeveless, and it hides the tops of my arms. This may work. It covers up and reveals all in the right places. I'm sold. I curl my hair, put extra eyeliner and mascara on, and apply some pink lipstick. I want to look like a whimsical, feminine, ladylike Melissa and not boring spinster lawyer Stacie.
Sam, the security guard, calls and informs me that a man by the name of Joshua Steadman is here to see me. See me? Joshua Steadman is here to see me!
"Yes, Sam, please let him in. You have a wonderful Sunday."
"Butterflies, butterflies, please subside," I whisper as I stand in front of the bay window waiting for Josh. A black Nissan Sentra pulls into the driveway. I expected a fancier car, something more mayoral like a Lincoln Continental. But it doesn't matter; he could be riding a bicycle, and I wouldn't care.
The doorbell rings, and I count to twenty before opening it. Josh looks so handsome in a red polo and khakis. He looks like he really put in the effort to see me, and he smells like Irish Spring soap.
"Hi, come in, Josh. Did you have trouble finding the place?"
"Nope, not at all. I've driven by Fairmont many times. You have a beautiful house, Stacie."
"Thanks."
"Do you want some coffee?" I ask as I walk towards the kitchen, leaving Josh behind me.
"No, I'm good," he says as he grabs my arm and pulls me close to him.
"You look very nice, Stacie. You are very cute; you know that?"
Without responding, I jump into his arms as he stumbles backward. Today will be one of the best days of my life. I need to cherish every second of this magical summer day with this beautiful man who asked me on a proper date and didn't change his mind.
Chapter 31 – Virginia
Today is a new day. My hangover is gone, and I have another chance with the honorable Mayor Joshua Steadman. I never thought I could attract someone like him after Harry. I was afraid I had become a magnet for low-life scum like wife beaters or drug addicts. With my luck, I would fall in love with a drug addict-wife-beater who is obsessed with porn. I had every intention of riding it out alone and just be Robert's mom until the day he cremates me, but now I have hope. Misty thinks I'm rebounding from Harry, and that's why I've fallen so hard for Joshua, but I don't think so. I waited over a year after Harry and I divorced to date again. I spent all my nights alone, and my social life consisted of happy hours with my boss, Jerry; nights of people watching with Misty; and heart-rending visits with my mom. Misty said Joshua could be rebounding too. He's still grieving Melissa, but like my dad used to say, when I'd be crying over some little prick from high school that dumped me, the best way to get over one is to find another. I look forward to being the one that will help Joshua get over that last little grieving hump.
I need a good detox, so I book a last-minute Sunday morning workout at Misty's. A good long sweat brought on the healthy way is just what I need. Luckily, she had a cancellation. She says she gets a lot of cancellations from the hung-over Sunday morning crowd. This is the first Sunday in a long time I don't feel like them. I'm not going to tell Misty anything about Friday night. I wouldn't want her to worry about me thinking I've gone off the deep end, but it isn't my fault Stacie is a little pest. I'm sure she has a crush on Josh, and he's too nice to tell her to leave him alone. People can be so dense.
"Hey there, Hot Stuff," Misty says as I walk into the studio lobby.
"You're the hot one, Lady," I say as I plop myself at the end of the white leather love seat.
"You, okay?" Misty asks.
"Yes, today is the first day of a brighter future for this old chick."
"Does this bright future include our fine mayor?"
"Maybe," I say, slowly raising my eyes towards her.
Misty is staring out her glass window towards Stacie's law office.
"Are you still seeing him?" she asks.
"Yes, we were together again last week. I know it's only been four dates, but there's something different about that man. I think he could be the guy."
"Are you exclusive?"
"Yes, I mean, we haven't talked about it or put a label on it. We aren't twelve, Misty. He hasn't asked me to go steady with him. It's just naturally progressing."
"When's the last time you talked to him, V?"
"We exchanged texts yesterday; why? You know something I don't?"
My heartbeat accelerates as Misty walks around the desk and sits next to me.
"I hate to say this, V, but I think you're right about Joshua and Stacie."
"What, why?"
"Remember when you saw them the other day walking d
own the street? I assumed it was platonic. The two of them don't really go together."
"What are you saying, Misty?"
"Don't freak out, V, but I saw them about thirty minutes ago. They were standing outside of Stacie's office. He was putting up a sign or something, while Stacie was watching him."
"A sign?"
She must have called him when she saw it on the ground drenched in my spit. Please, Mr. Mayor, someone tore down my sign and did horrible things to it. Please help little ole me.
"That's what it looked like from here."
"Maybe he was being nice, Misty. He told me he likes to get to know the business owners around here. He met you too."
"Yes, yes, he did. He was doing his mayoral thing with me, but—"
"Goddammit, Misty, get to the fucking point then!"
Misty flinches. She's never seen me like this before. My face is on fire, and I have a sudden urge to pick her up by her arms and shake her, screaming at her face, tell me bitch tell me. Instead, I clear my throat and take a deep breath.
"I'm sorry, Misty. I just don't understand what you are trying to tell me."
Misty stands up and walks towards the front door.
"He was hanging the sign, and she was watching, and then after he finished, he hugged her or she hugged him. It was definitely an embrace, and then they walked down Main Street holding hands."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, V. I'm sorry."
"There is no way! He told me they were friends just yesterday. Why would he lie?"
I pull out my phone and read his text message from yesterday.
It's a small town.
I like to get to know the local business owners.
Stacie is a very nice person. You should get to know her. Sorry, can't do dinner. I have plans with JJ.
What about lunch?
I have plans with JJ all day.
I read the message three times. There is no mention of Stacie being just a friend. I read what I wanted to hear. But he did lie; he is not with JJ.
