But I was terribly nervous to see Jace again. Did he regret what we’d done? Did he want nothing to do with me because of Sammy? He had seemed happy up until that point. Maybe he didn’t want to be involved with a single mother and all the complications that involved.
God, and in the back of the hardware store! I was so glad that Sammy was too young to notice anything, and that neither Jenkins nor Withers had come inside for a coffee refill or to ask a question. It’d been a damn lucky break. I’d never been so unprofessional before. And how was I supposed to function! How was I supposed to work in that damn store now without thinking about Jace every time?
Hopefully Andy wouldn’t notice that I was a little weird in the store now. I could handle it, eventually, I just… needed to get used to the idea. And not let it happen again.
My stupid heart fluttered in my chest as the front door opened and Jace emerged, walking down the front steps to greet me. “Hey, glad you could make it. I’m starting work so Rachel and the kid aren’t here.”
“Oh, good.” I gave him a smile that I hoped wasn’t too nervous.
Jace walked all the way down, putting a hand on the small of my back to lead me into the house. It was one of those intimate yet chivalrous gestures he used to do when we were together, and I leaned into it before I could stop myself.
“This is the room you’ll be doing,” Jace explained, leading me to the space. “Rachel wanted to give you some artistic freedom but she says her daughter loves nature and she gave me some photos she thought you could use for inspiration.”
The photos were on the dresser, which he handed to me. I flipped through them quickly—all photographs of forest scenes, some with animals, some not. I could definitely work with this. Landscapes were my specialty, after all.
“I’ll need to sketch out the mural first,” I explained, gesturing at the walls. “Stencil it. Do some measuring and I can make a quick sketch or mockup with paint on a canvas so that Rachel knows what I’m going to do. Once everything’s stenciled in, I can start painting it. Should take me a couple of weeks to finish it up, including detail work.”
“Sounds good to me.” Jace led me back out of the room. “You just let me know whatever you need, I can talk to Rachel about it, it can be a part of her renovations budget that she’s doing with me. And your mural will probably be finished before my work is, so honestly there’s no rush.”
“Is she going to be living here while we’re working?”
“The kids are with their father right now and Rachel’s going to move in with her parents while she waits for this all to be taken care of. The kids are still in school in Portland so no rush, again. I’ve got a couple months to finish this all up before summer comes and Rachel wants them to move in.”
“Good, good.”
Jace shifted his weight, away from his left leg, I noticed—the one he’d been moving stiffly the last few times I’d seen him. I wanted to ask if he was all right, if he’d had some kind of injury, but then Jace spoke again. “Is… Sammy’s father, is he still in the picture?”
I was so startled by the question that I almost burst out into hysterical laughter. “I—why does it matter?”
“You were… you seemed upset that I was around, afterwards.” Jace cleared his throat. “I wondered if maybe Sammy’s father was around and that would complicate things. Make it difficult for you to see anyone or… be with anyone.”
Should I tell him the truth? I was tempted. Sorely tempted. Here was the perfect opportunity to come clean and tell him that he was Sammy’s father. That the father was in the picture but didn’t know it. I could reveal it all to him.
“He’s not in the picture,” I blurted out, feeling shame, fear, and frustration burning up my throat. “You don’t have to worry about—anyone else coming in and being upset. I’ve raised Sammy entirely on my own. He’s just got me.”
Jace nodded. His gaze swept over me, looking concerned. “And you’re… all right?”
No, I wanted to say. I’m not all right. I haven’t been all right since you left.
But I knew what he was really asking—if Sammy’s father had been awful to me, if he was going to come back and be a problem. Jace had always been protective of me that way, just like Andy. “I’m all right,” I promised. “And we’re getting by. We’ve been happy, Sammy and me. You really don’t have to worry about us.”
“And what about Sammy? Does he know, or…?”
“I told him that—I explained that families come in all shapes and sizes. That some people have two dads or two moms, or that some people have a mom and a dad that aren’t together anymore. And this is how our family is. Just a mom and her boy. But that’s okay, and we’ve got Dawn and Andy and my parents.” Jace’s own parents had passed away, his mom from cancer in middle school and his father from a construction accident in his senior year of college. His only family left, as far as I knew, was his uncle. I was oddly grateful for that, even though I felt guilty about it. I couldn’t imagine what I would’ve done if Jace’s parents had still been alive and I’d had to lie to them about the existence of their grandson. “I know I’ll have to tell Sammy more of the truth when he’s older, but not yet. Right now all he needs to know is that he’s got a mom who loves him, and that’s what matters.”
Jace nodded. He didn’t look completely satisfied, but he stepped aside so that I could leave the house. “I’ll keep you informed about the paint and everything,” I told him.
Jace smiled. “You’re going to do great with this.”
I could feel my face heating up. “I’m glad you think so.” Jace’s faith in me was like a warm fire in my chest, comforting me. “I’ll—I’ll see you around, then.” We’d be seeing a lot of each other, working together like this.
Jace nodded, shifting his weight again, like he wanted to reach out for me, but wasn’t sure if he could.
I wasn’t sure if he could, either.
Nodding at him, I headed out to my car. Already I had several ideas swirling in my head for the mural, and I was excited to get started on that. But had I done the right thing in lying to Jace? Or, rather, in not telling the full truth?
It was true that the father wasn’t in the picture, or hadn’t been until recently—and still wasn’t in the picture in a way, since he didn’t know that the son was his. But was it right of me to tell him that? Should I have told him that he was Sammy’s father?
But what if he didn’t want to be a father? What if this meant he left? What if this made him uncomfortable and he didn’t want anything to do with Sammy or me? Or—what if he thought he wanted to be a father but then changed his mind, and couldn’t handle it, and Sammy had already bonded with him?
Of course, those problems could still come up with Jace if he chose to try and have a relationship with me, but it was different, to think about possibly being a presence in the life of someone’s child—versus realizing that child was yours, and there was an innate sense of responsibility attached to it.
Sammy couldn’t feel rejected. I wouldn’t let that happen. It was better that Jace didn’t know. If Jace wanted to be a part of our lives… I wasn’t even sure that I wanted that, but at least it would be more honest and I could be more careful than if he knew Sammy was his and he thought that he had an innate right.
It was all going to be okay, right? I couldn’t trust that Jace was going to stick around. Not after last time. And until I did—why should I tell him the truth? Sammy needed to be protected. My heart had to be protected. Only time would tell what Jace was up to. We would see. Until then, I wasn’t going to say anything.
13
Jace
It had been about a week since I’d seen Leigh. I was doing enough renovations on the house right now that I was worried about sawdust or other mess getting in her way, so I had told her I’d let her know when she could come in and start working.
I itched to see her, but I couldn’t think of an excuse. She’d told me that the father of her child wasn’t in the pi
cture but she hadn’t offered up anything more than that, hadn’t offered me any information, or flirted with me in a way that told me we were able to move forward.
Did she think that I just wanted a fling with her? I wanted to be with her again, but how could I when she had a kid? Leigh clearly had a lot on her mind. Was it really my place to… to push for anything? Was that one fuck in the hardware store all that she wanted?
Fuck, it was all such a mess.
And of course, I had to stop by the hardware store today to get more supplies. I wasn’t sure if I was more anxious about Leigh or Andy being there. Either one of them felt like a time bomb to me. I felt so lost about Leigh, I didn’t know what to do. Once, I’d known exactly what to do. I’d always known the right things to say to help Leigh, to cheer her up or give her perspective or encourage her, or whatever else was needed.
I was lost and I had no idea what to do about it. I felt like I should let Leigh take the lead, but I also wanted her to know what I wanted, what I was thinking about—namely, her. But I also didn’t want her to feel pressured.
Fuck.
All of my worries about Leigh came to nothing when I walked into the hardware store and found Andy behind the counter. Shit.
I grabbed my supplies and hoped that Leigh had talked some sense into her brother. When I got back up to the counter, Andy was still reading his book—some true crime novel—and avoiding eye contact.
He rang me up, still keeping one eye on the book, and not looking at me. I could feel irritation scratching at the inside of my throat, but I kept that to myself. Instead, I said quietly, “Hey, man, for what it’s worth—I’m sorry I hurt you. I should’ve done more to keep in touch with you and to let you know I cared. Special ops or no.”
Andy hummed, holding his hand out to accept my card. I handed it to him and he rang me up.
I took a deep breath and kept going. “You’ve always been like a brother to me, seriously. You were there for me my entire life. You were my best friend. And I just abandoned you, and that hurt you, and it was… so fucking thoughtless of me. So, I’m not surprised—or I shouldn’t be surprised—that you’re angry. And I’m sorry.”
Andy scoffed. “You’ve got no idea what hurt is. You think you’ve hurt me?” He handed me my receipt and my card, and finally looked me in the eye. “Just ask Leigh.”
Ah, shit. He must’ve found out about my relationship with Leigh. “Andy—”
He shook his head. “Leigh might insist I let you shop here, but that doesn’t mean I have to make conversation with you.”
Andy turned back to his book, his dismissal clear. Double fuck.
I grabbed my supplies, stuffed my card and my receipt in my pocket, and headed out the door.
Shit. No wonder Andy was so pissed at me. He knew about my dating Leigh behind his back, without telling him—and then I’d just left Leigh without any note or proper goodbye. I had no idea how I was going to make this right, but hopefully Leigh would have a clue. And I should apologize to her properly. Fucking her in the back room was not the best way to do that, even if she seemed willing to… mostly forgive me. If said fucking was any damn indication.
Before I could second-guess my impulse, I drove to Leigh’s house. I knew the address since I was putting her down as my employee to help her out with taxes later on, and I just hoped that she wouldn’t find it odd or unsettling that I was stopping by. I didn’t want to be creepy.
When I knocked on the door, Leigh answered it almost immediately, finger to her lips. “Sammy just went down for his afternoon nap,” she whispered.
Ah. I nodded, and it was only after she said it that Leigh seemed to fully realize who I was.
Her eyes went a bit wide, and she cleared her throat. “Hey, Jace. What are you doing here? Is the house ready for me to work on?”
God, I wanted to say that it was. I wanted to be able to peek in on her working and talk with her, see if maybe we could get lunch together, spend more time together. “No, I just wanted to stop by and… I think I owe you an official apology.”
Leigh stared at me for a moment, then opened the door to the house further. “Come inside, I’ve got some lemonade. We can sit out on the back porch.”
“Great view,” I commented, following her through the house. It was a small place, but neat and clean, and had lots of homey touches. I recognized some of the art on the walls as Leigh’s, but there were also lot of prints of famous paintings, like Picasso and Van Gogh. Photos of Leigh with Sammy, and a few other family photos, were put up on bookshelves. Sammy’s toys were piled up in a basket off to the side, and kids DVDs were on the lower shelves within easy reach.
It wasn’t much bigger than the place I was renting, but it was infinitely better kept up, and felt more like a home than my place did. My heart clenched. I would’ve loved to expand this place, or get a whole new place, a bigger place so that Sammy could have a proper playroom and Leigh could have an art studio…
No, Jace, for fuck’s sake. I’d been back barely two weeks and I was already dreaming of building a house for Leigh and her child, the child I had barely met? Jesus Christ. I was such a fucking sap for her, still.
“Nice view,” I commented as Leigh led me out onto her back porch. It was a warm day, and her little sprinkler system hooked up to the end of the hose was running, watering the plants. “Mine looks out onto the woods, too.”
“It’s really nice.” Leigh passed me a glass of lemonade, as promised. “I can’t believe that our parents let us go run around in it all the time as kids with no supervision. I’m paranoid about Sammy.”
“Well, he’s still young. When he’s older it’ll be okay. We were smart about those things.” It wasn’t like there were bears or anything out there.
Leigh hummed in acknowledgement, and silence fell for a moment as we sipped our drink. “Delicious,” I commented.
“Thanks. Got it from my mom.”
“I remember she always had a pitcher waiting for Andy and me when we came back from whatever insanity we’d been up to.” I grinned at the memory.
Leigh nodded, smiling as well.
Well, there was really no point in putting it off, was there? “Leigh.” I turned to look at her, setting my glass down. “I owe you a serious apology. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking, just striding back into town the way that I did. I should’ve apologized to you first thing, on bended fucking knee. I just abandoned you, and that was unfair of me.”
Leigh’s eyes went a bit wide, her cheeks flushing prettily. “Thank you. I honestly… you don’t have to apologize for anything.”
“Of course I do. Leigh. Your brother doesn’t get to hog all the hurt, okay? I know he was my best friend and we were best friends for—fuck, for I don’t even know how long—but that doesn’t mean you were any less to me and it doesn’t mean—you’re allowed to be upset, okay? It’s allowed.”
Leigh looked down at her lap, then nodded. “Okay.”
She stood up, then, and to my shock, she took off her t-shirt, revealing a bikini top underneath. My mouth went dry. “It’s hot, I’m going to go cool off.”
I gaped at her as she ran across the grass barefoot, dashing through the sprinkler system. It soaked her bikini top and her shorts almost at once, making them cling to her generous curves. I swallowed hard. My mouth was dry as a desert.
Did she know what she was doing to me? Was she teasing me on purpose? Or was she just that comfortable around me? I couldn’t tell, but I did know that I wanted her—badly. The way she was moving, joyful and carefree, and the fabric leaving so little to the imagination…
My pants were getting tight, my cock starting to swell between my legs. I tried to think of something, anything to distract myself. After all, I didn’t know if she was fucking doing it on purpose. But why else would she… she had to know what this was doing to me.
I got up and walked over, taking my shirt off and tossing it aside. Leigh turned, the water still hitting her, making her hair dark and pl
astering it to her face and shoulders. Droplets slid down her skin, around her curves, and I was practically panting with how much I wanted to run my tongue along them, taste her, chase those drops. Leigh’s gaze ran down my chest, her eyes going dark and wide—and then her gaze dropped down to my legs and she froze.
My cock was still half hard, pressing up against the fabric of my pants. She must see the tent, how could she not? It was practically waving a fucking flag that said I want to fuck you.
Leigh’s gaze drew back up to meet mine, and for a moment we just stared at each other. I wanted to reach out and grab her, yank her into me, my fingers twitching with the desire to hold her still, tug on her hair, squeeze her gorgeous, soft body.
And then Leigh got a mischievous look on her face and darted back, away from me, dashing through the water once again. She was laughing, smiling, and I was thrown back in time so hard it was like I could fucking feel it and see it, six years ago when we’d play in the creek in the woods, splashing each other, or head up the quarry where we technically weren’t supposed to go and would swim around and kiss in the water for hours until we were all shriveled up like fucking raisins.
God, I felt young again. Soft again. Like the military hadn’t happened. Sure I’d gotten a good fucking nest egg out of it but at what cost? Now, back here with Leigh, I felt like I was starting to remember who I really was and who I really could be.
I grinned at her. “You sure you really want to do this?” She was definitely teasing me now, shooting me flirtatious looks over her shoulder as she danced around in the spray of the water.
“Do what?” she replied innocently, batting her eyes at me. That fucking minx.
I growled a little and Leigh laughed again, staying out of my reach. She pouted playfully. “Are you really going to give up that easily?” she taunted me.
I took off after her and Leigh shrieked, eyes going wide. She darted away from me and I let her slip through my fingers a couple times, just to keep the fun going. I was faster and stronger than she was, no question, and I knew that she knew I was letting her get away as my fingers just barely brushed her skin before she darted out of the way.
Second Chance with Brother's Best Friend: A Single Mom Secret Baby Romance Page 7
