Josh

by Dana Archer

  But now?

  “Do you think the Shifter Council will acknowledge a blessed union between us in place of a real mate bond?”

  Rafe pulled the car onto the shoulder. With his gaze on the empty road, he slid his fisted grip from the bottom of the steering wheel to the top. “With the pressure from Shifter Affairs…probably, but I can’t guarantee it. Don’t forget they tagged on the qualifier. They want her kids.”

  His elation fell with those words. The reality of their situation came rushing back.

  “But I can never give Mira children.”

  “No, you can’t.” Rafe turned in his seat and faced him. “I’m going to be completely honest with you. If you commit to this, you’re damning Mira to an eternity of heartache. She’ll have you for fifty or sixty years if she’s lucky. That’s it. When you die, all she’ll have are her memories—no children to love and no chance of reconnecting with you in another life.”

  “Because the Council will demand she pick a mate the moment I die.” Josh finished Rafe’s sentence. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what he was getting at.

  “Most likely, but with the way she looks at you, he’ll never be more than a breeding partner to her. Love isn’t an emotion many shifters understand until it hits them. When it does, our mate becomes our very existence. It’s…mystical.” Rafe sighed. “I’ve known Mira a long time. She’s nothing if not stubborn. If she commits to you, no male will take your place in her heart. She won’t allow it. Her devotion to you will ruin any chance of happiness with her shifter mate, ensuring both she and her breeding partner suffer.”

  Rafe lowered his voice. “For eternity, Josh. I know forever is a concept many humans have trouble understanding. I don’t believe that’s the case with you, but I need to be clear about what’s at stake here. You will get reborn. You’ll get married, have kids. Multiple times. Granted, you’ll never love any of those women the same way you do Mira, but in a future reincarnation, you won’t have Mira to compare to, so you won’t know what you’re missing. You’ll live out your existence thinking whatever love you’ve found is the greatest there can be.”

  Josh doubted that. He’d remember his love for Mira, or at least ache for something more. He’d felt the incompleteness his entire life before meeting her, even when he’d been with Jazz. Actually, that was the reason he never married her. He was waiting for something more. He hated to think of Mira suffering the same longing for eternity.

  The honorable choice would be to let Mira go. If he was out of the picture, she might find some happiness. Maybe with Aron. Have his babies, the ones their goddesses predicted would change the world.

  The tips of his fingers burned as rage rose. He squeezed his eyes shut against the haze turning everything red.

  No. Way. Not while he lived.

  Did that make him selfish?

  “Drive, Rafe. I don’t want to be late.”

  Mira stared at Kade for a long moment. Trepidation squeezed her chest. “Why do I need to be mated now?”

  Kade rubbed at the back of his neck, a nervous gesture many feline males shared. “I don’t want to be in charge. Rafe should head this family, not me. I don’t have the patience he does.”

  Every muscle in her body tensed. It wasn’t like Kade to not answer her questions. Usually, he told the truth as bluntly as possible. Sensitivity, not his strongest suit. Dancing around the issue worried her.

  “The prophecy never came with a time limit.” She stated the fact hoping he’d elaborate on his stand.

  “Did you ever wonder why the goddesses didn’t intercede to save the child beloved by all of them from Edmund?”

  Her stomach roiled. Kade’s question matched the one she’d always asked herself. The only answer she could come up with sickened her. Her legs threatened to give out. She gripped the edge of the desk so she didn’t crumble to the floor.

  “No, no. Don’t say it, Kade. It’s not true!” She hurried around the desk and gripped his biceps. “It can’t be true. My cats would’ve known.”

  The sympathy reflected in his expression tore a groan from her throat. Kade offered no comfort. He held her gaze, the leader to his pride member, ready to deliver the hard facts. “The Council, both the single shifter members and the Royals, believe the goddesses didn’t intercede because Edmund was meant to father your children.”

  She turned her back on him and rubbed at her burning eyes. “I told you not to say it.”

  His long sigh cut through her and worsened the pain in her chest.

  “I don’t agree and neither did my father. It’s why we’ve worked so hard to protect you.” He placed a warm, strong hand on her shoulder. It didn’t ease the chill seeping into her bones. “But I won’t any longer.”

  She whipped around, the betrayal in his words opening up the wound she carried, the one that left her feeling unworthy and dirty.

  He held a hand up. “A leader, a good one anyway, must think of his family first, individuals second, himself last. Do you understand? I can’t fight the Council’s order when I agree with it. You must take a mate and fulfill your destiny.” Kade tugged her close before she could storm away. “But I’d planned to mate you so you didn’t have to go to a stranger’s bed.”

  Not because he wanted her. That knowledge hurt. It shouldn’t. She didn’t want Kade, but being on the receiving end of his pity cut at her already low self-esteem. She scrunched her nose, letting him see how much she disliked his words. “Thankfully, now you don’t have to. Aron has offered to fill the martyr’s shoes.”

  Confusion pinched Kade’s smooth brow. “Being your mate will not be a hardship for any male, myself included. Who wouldn’t want to wake up to a gorgeous female every day? You will give your mate strong children and endless hours of enjoyment.”

  She snorted and threw her hands up in the air. “Wonderful. I’ll be an incubator and a sex toy.”

  Kade’s frown deepened. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Isn’t it?” She challenged him with a raised brow.

  “You can’t expect love, at least not anytime soon. Most shifter matings don’t work that way. It’s always sex first, then love, and only if you’re lucky.”

  “It does if you find your true mate.”

  “There are different forms of love. Who’s to say those are any less powerful? There’s still a level of devotion in breeding bonds, a conscious choice to make the other partner as happy as possible.” Kade stepped closer. He ran a thumb over her lips. “I always left you satisfied, didn’t I?”

  He had, but without the emotional connection, the act had lost its appeal after a while. She’d often left him, feeling more alone than before they’d slept together. “Yes, but it’s not enough. I want to be important to my mate.”

  “You are important to me.”

  She reached a hand between them and placed it over his heart. “Friendship isn’t enough.”

  He mapped her face with his fingertips. While she wanted to jerk away from him, she didn’t. The gentle strokes didn’t come off as sexual, merely another attempt to calm her. They didn’t work.

  “Someday, I might love you. For you, I’d try. Will that be enough?”

  She shook her head. The words wouldn’t come out.

  Cupping her head, he stared into her eyes for a long moment. “I want to try. Do you understand? I care about you, more than I ever did for another female.”

  “If you care about me, why won’t you let me be with Josh? A single lifetime. That’s all I’m asking for. Once he dies, I’ll fulfill my destiny. Mate you. Or anyone. I don’t care.”

  “Because I can’t. You must take a mate. A Royal one, not a single shifter. I will not condone their heavy-handedness by allowing them to get what they want. They have no right to order your mating.”

  “Why now? I understand your concern about the Council’s order and the prophecy, but a few more decades won’t mean much in the grand scheme of things. The odds of me conceiving in the span of a human lifetime are
slim anyway. Can’t you push back? Give me a reprieve?”

  “No.” Kade yanked her against him, one hand in her hair and one at her lower back. “Our pride’s goddess showed me a vision of the future.”

  “Involving me.”

  He nodded. “And Josh. Why do you think I’ve worked so hard to keep the two of you apart?”

  Her heart skipped a beat. “Tell me.”

  “He dies.”

  She swallowed hard. “He’s human. He’s going to die anyway.”

  “Yes, but—”

  Raised, booming male voices sounded in the hall and stopped his words. The door flew open. Aron’s angry gaze settled on Kade. A deep growl rumbled in his chest a moment before he lunged at them. Rafe followed behind and shoved Aron away before he made contact. They rolled across the floor, snarling and snapping at each other.

  Josh ran in next. He hopped over the fighting males and moved directly toward her. Kade jumped in his path and held him back with a firm hand splayed on his chest.

  “Enough!” Kade shouted.

  Although everyone stilled, none of the males looked happy about it. Aron seethed, Rafe glared at his twin, and Josh lifted his lip in a silent snarl.

  Kade looked past Josh to Aron and Rafe. “What’s going on?”

  Aron pointed at her. “She has disgraced me with her whorish acts! I will not allow my mate-to-be to go to other men. Tease them. Make them think they can get her naked!”

  Mira barely had time to process his words before Josh launched himself at Aron. Kade yanked him back with a hand gripping his waistband while Rafe kept Aron pinned to the wall with his claws dug into Aron’s shoulders. Growls filled the room. Both Aron and Josh strained to break free. The tension skyrocketed.

  Kade leveled a hard look at Josh before facing Aron. The warning was clear, don’t start anything. “Mind your tongue, cousin. That is no way to address the female you want to mate.”

  “Correction.” Josh stepped between her and the rest of the room and widened his stance. “That is no way to address any woman, especially the one I hope to marry if she’ll have me.”

  Kade gaped at Josh. “You still want her after what she did to your sister?”

  “Yes, more than I have ever wanted a woman.”

  Kade glanced her way. Sadness flitted across his features a moment before he blanked his reaction. With his gaze still locked to hers, Kade addressed Josh. “I won’t allow it. You’ve wasted your time coming here.”

  Kade jerked his head toward Rafe and snarled. Their fluid facial expressions betrayed their telepathic argument. All Royals could communicate along a general path when in close proximity to one another, but they rarely used it. The intimate form of communication often disturbed their animals.

  Her hope fizzled the longer they glared at each other. Finally defeat settled over Rafe’s face, slackening his expression. He cursed and pushed away from Aron.

  Kade picked up the phone and dialed. After a moment, he said to the person on the line, “Tell Zach and Jazz to come up. We’re having this meeting now.”

  He slammed the phone down. Her heart sank.

  Aron smirked and sauntered toward her. Fear and disgust tightened her chest as she watched his approach. She held her ground, unwilling to retreat and risk triggering his instincts to chase her. She might’ve been promised to him, but he’d broken the vow. No way did she want him to suddenly decide to set his sights on her. However, with the hard line of arousal straining his pants, she feared he already had. Either that or he was simply horny.

  Josh stepped between her and Aron. “The Council’s order gives me the right to be with Mira. I will not allow you to dismiss me if she wants me.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Do you, Mira? Do you want to be with me even if it’s only for a little while?”

  “Yes.” The word was out before she could think better of it.

  He grinned at her, and her heart melted. “Then you and I are tying the knot, baby. The sooner, the better. And on the full moon, we’ll get Kade to bless our union and make it official in the shifters’ eyes.”

  Kade spun around and fixed Josh with a murderous glare. She tensed, ready to jump to his side. Her pride leader’s booming voice stopped her.

  “No. I will not bless your union. And I won’t allow you to marry her. Not now. Not ever. I should never have allowed this infatuation to continue.”

  Josh stepped closer to Kade, fists clenched at his sides. “I will not allow you to force her to be with another man. She wants me, not any of you.”

  “She hasn’t given her other suitors a chance to earn her attentions. This is the reason why courting shifter females is a custom—to avoid the fights between hopeful suitors as the number of available potential breeding partners have declined.”

  Josh worked his jaw, the look on his face contemplative. She could almost see the wheels turning in his head. Finally, he nodded. “So be it.”

  “Good, I’m glad—”

  “I’ll court her too.” Josh shrugged. “Dating is popular for a reason. It builds the anticipation.”

  Kade took an aggressive step forward. “No.”

  The door opened, stopping the argument. Jazz entered and moved to her mate’s side while a scowling Zach took up a position against the farthest wall. If the annoyed look he wore was any indication, there was one suitor she didn’t have to worry about fixating on her.

  Why he was even a part of the sham Kade had concocted she didn’t know.

  “Now that everyone’s here, we can get this over with. Jazz, will you act as our witness?” Kade waited until she nodded. “Good. Then in accordance with shifter law, I officially announce Mira’s suitors as Aron, Zach, and myself. Between now and sundown three weeks from now—”

  “Don’t forget me,” Josh cut in. “I officially request—”

  “Don’t say it.” Kade glared at him. “I’m warning you.”

  Mira gave a low, threatening growl. “Stop this!”

  Every male turned and looked at her. She wanted to cower under their intense scrutiny but couldn’t. There was too much at stake.

  “Doesn’t anyone care what I want?”

  Kade snarled. “No, Mira, in this I do not. You will pick a mate from your real suitors.”

  “My real suitors?” She closed the distance between them. “You mean Aron, because you know Zach wants no part of this ridiculous game.”

  “That includes me, Mira. You will choose between me, Aron, or Zach. No others.”

  “No!”

  Kade walked toward the window. “Enough. We will continue this discussion in private. This meeting is over.”

  Josh’s piercing blue eyes caught her attention. She glanced at him. He tilted his head in the direction of the door, an indication she should leave. She studied him for some clue as to what he was up to, but another jerk of his head forced her to obey. She spun on her heel and walked out of the testosterone-filled room with her head held high. No use showing how defeated she felt. Pretenses were everything.

  Chapter 12

  Josh followed Mira’s retreating back with his gaze. Once the door slammed closed, he cleared his throat. Everyone looked his way except Jazz and Zach who stood off to the side whispering to each other. Rafe smirked, Aron scowled, and Kade watched him with open speculation, eyes narrowed and lips downturned.

  “Am I an honorary member of the Alexander pride?”

  “Yes.” Kade crossed his arms over his chest. “You are a member of my pride, and as such, must follow my rules. I clearly—”

  Josh raised his hands in a mock gesture of supplication. “You’re absolutely right. I’ve learned my lesson.”

  “You concede?”

  “Absolutely.” Josh nodded. “Rules are made for a reason.” To be broken. Or remade. Either worked.

  Kade sighed. “Good, I’m glad you understand.”

  “I should’ve come to you first with my request, but better late than never.” Josh waited until Kade’s scowl returned before he continued.
“As a member of the Alexander pride, I officially request your permission to court Mira.”

  Kade pressed the heels of his hands to his temples, holding his head for a moment. He dropped his arms and leveled his best ‘don’t argue with me’ look at Josh. “I can’t allow her to be with you in any way, not as a lover or wife. You need to stay away from Mira.”

  Josh took several deep breaths to stem his growing frustration. “You keep saying that. Tell me why.”

  Kade ambled toward the window. With his hands linked behind his back, he studied the darkened landscape. “The goddess has bestowed onto me a vision of your death. I will do anything I can to prevent it from happening.”

  The announcement hit Josh as hard as a physical blow. He stared at Kade’s back, unable to respond.

  “If you’re going to tell him that much, you must share the rest of the vision.” Rafe turned to Josh when Kade didn’t respond. “Kade was shown three flashes of the future. The first of Mira standing over you with bloody claws, the second of Devin giving you blood, and finally, Jazz crying. That’s it.”

  Kade glanced over his shoulder. “I knew Mira would’ve been terrified by the vision. I meant to protect her from it and save your life at the same time. That is why I kept you apart.”

  Josh latched on to the fact that the vision didn’t actually show him dead, just bleeding. “I’m not afraid of death. Heaven awaits me, but keeping me from Mira will damn me to hell.”

  Kade grabbed the wide window casing and stared at some distant spot on the property. “I grant your request to court Mira, but I plan to tell her about the goddess’ vision.”

  Josh nodded. Best he’d likely get. “So be it.”