She licked her lips and smiled. “Just checking to see if you still love me.”
James’s laugh stirred a sleeping Isaac in the backseat. “Are you convinced? Or do you need another demonstration?”
Content with the knowledge that James was his old self again, she leaned against the seat. “I’m convinced.” Her eyelids drifted as he pulled onto the highway.
“Joni.” Warm, soft lips kissed her hand. “Joni.”
Slowly, she stirred and smiled. “Hmm.”
“We’re home.” He pressed the apartment key into her palm. “Open the door and I’ll carry Isaac.”
She blinked and yawned. “Okay.”
He followed her up the red-stained, wooden stairs. She fumbled with the keys and opened the door. James entered with Isaac.
In Isaac’s room, she pulled back the sheets. James laid his son on the mattress and stepped aside allowing Joni to remove Isaac’s little sneakers. He curled under the covers as she kissed his cheek and whispered, “Goodnight, sweetie.”
He never opened his eyes. “’Night, Joni.”
In the hall, she stepped into James’s waiting arms and snuggled against his chest. His heartbeat was strong. His arms comforting.
“Don’t go back to sleep.”
As if she could sleep standing up. “Why not?”
He led her to the master bedroom. She remembered Pastor’s words on keeping your distance and untangled herself from his arms. With a flourish, he opened the closet and flung back the sheet that hid Isaac’s Christmas gifts. “Because, Mrs. Claus, it’s time to play Santa.”
“Joni! Wake up! Santa came! He was here!” Isaac’s voice intruded on her wonderful dream. She opened her eyes to stare into his excited face. “Get up! Get up! Wait till you see what he brought you.”
He bounded off the bed and she rose up on her elbows. James reclined against the bedroom doorframe with a mug of coffee in his hand. His lips tugged upward as she scooted out from the covers. She felt his gaze and was glad she wore her new pajamas instead of a nightgown. Although James agreed the bedroom was off-limits during his overnight visits, she had to admit her dream of him lying beside her was fresh on her mind. His habit of not wearing a shirt wasn’t helping the situation.
“Good morning, beautiful. Ready to open presents?”
She smoothed a hand through her hair and crossed the room. “Good morning.” Ignoring the desire to snuggle against him, she kissed his cheek and ducked under his arm into the hall.
Isaac raced back from the living room and snatched her hand. “Hurry.”
She stifled a yawn and quickened her pace. Her breath caught. Between the colorful, lit tree and a mountain of gifts, the keyboard she’d admired in the mall called to her. “James.” A big red bow shined from the middle of its keys. Ribbon trailed down to an amplifier hidden behind the tree. Isaac jumped in his battery-powered truck and promptly drove into the wall. She should scold him. Slowly, as if in a dream, she weaved a path through the gifts and trailed her fingers down the weighted keys. James reached around her and turned on the power. A kiss landed on her neck. “Merry Christmas.”
She turned into his arms. “I love you.”
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. His lips twitched once. Joni glanced over her shoulder and then back at the man she loved. “Thank you.” She leaned her head back and laughed. “I love it, and I love you. Now, teach me to play church music.”
He groaned playfully against her neck. “Forget church. How about heaven? It’s the first song I can remember singing.”
The look in his eyes had nothing whatsoever to do with God’s home, but Joni turned and placed her hands on the keys. “Show me.”
Strong arms came around her. “All right. Put your hands on top of mine. I can’t tell you the notes, so close your eyes and feel the music.”
She did as he asked, and he sang about the desire to experience heaven. Though the rhythm of his song was similar to that heard in church, his sultry voice reminded her of last night’s dream of forbidden pleasures. Warm breath tickled her ear and Joni shivered with sensations that were everything but godly. She opened her eyes and removed her hands. “James, your music feels different. Are you sure this song is about Jesus?”
He turned her in his arms and she saw the danger in his eyes. His lips teased her to a state of breathlessness and skimmed across her neck. He whispered, “Heaven can be found on earth.”
The knock on the door snapped her out of his spell. James stepped back and rubbed a hand down his face. “Who visits on Christmas morning?”
She giggled at his frustration as he snatched open the door.
Isaac looked up from his truck, which had plowed a row through the presents. “Grandpa. Grandma. Look what Santa got me.”
~~~
His mother scooped Isaac up while his father closed the door and glared a hole through James’s chest. Derision dripped from his voice. “Put some clothes on, son.”
Without a word, James headed down the hall. After shrugging into a blue T-shirt, he hurried to the recliner and smiled as Isaac shredded through paper, ribbon, and bows.
Joni walked from the kitchen balancing a cup and saucer in one hand and a mug in the other. “James, you want coffee?”
“Yeah.” He couldn’t help but admire the view as she bent over the coffee table and placed a cup in front of his mother. The green, shimmery fabric of her pajamas clung to her backside. He sucked in a breath as his pulse drummed in his ear. She stood and turned. Gold bells dangled just below her waist from each end of the drawstring belt. He swallowed and clenched his hands in his lap.
“James.” Her voice penetrated the fog surrounding his brain.
His gaze traveled upward. Gold paint splashed “Merry Christmas” across her chest. He thought about the lyrics in the song he sang for Joni and wanted to explore some golden streets of his own.
Fingers snapped. “James.” He blinked. Her lips pressed in a tight line. Face crimson, her eyes cut to the couch were his parents sat and then narrowed on him. “Your coffee?”
He snapped out of his fantasy and accepted the mug. His thumb caressed the inside of her wrist during the exchange.
She wet her lips and addressed his parents. “Excuse me.”
His eyes followed her down the hall until she disappeared behind the bedroom door. Isaac was busy playing with the remote-controlled car Joni had bought him.
James’s mom balanced her cup and saucer on her knee. “I thought you said yesterday that you and Joni aren’t living together?”
“We’re not. It’s Christmas, so Joni let me sleep on the couch again.”
His dad lifted the folded blanket and pillow and raised one brow. “She let you sleep on the couch?” James nodded. “In your own apartment?”
“Yeah.” His jaw ached from yesterday. He didn’t have any intentions of repeating the fight with his dad. “Joni moved in because the apartment is close to campus. She takes care of the place while I’m working out of town.”
His mother turned her attention to Isaac, but James knew from experience that she had eyes and ears in the back of her head. Doubt clouded his dad’s eyes, but James refused to cower under his father’s questions. “And when you’re in town, you sleep on the couch?”
The bedroom door opened to reveal Joni fully dressed. Hopefully his father would drop the subject. He didn’t want her embarrassed by his parents. She was halfway to the living room when Isaac came to his defense. “Daddy has to sleep on the couch, Grandpa. We don’t want Joni to be a momma yet. Ain’t that right, Daddy?”
James choked on his coffee, and Joni froze in the hallway.
His mother’s sharp hiss of breath was followed by, “Isaac? Where did you hear that?”
Innocent blue eyes glanced around the room. “Me and Daddy talked about it, yesterday. We gotta wait till after Joni’s school is finished. If you marry them, mommas ain’t bad.”
His mother stammered while his dad said, “At least we know he sle
pt on the couch.”
“James?” Tears shimmered in Joni’s eyes. “Can I see you in the kitchen?”
Isaac continued to shock his grandparents with a four-year-old’s philosophy of why girlfriends were better than mommas. Without a word, James rose from the recliner and followed Joni behind the wall separating the galley from the living area. With each step, he wrestled with the perfect words of apology.
She stopped in the small space between the refrigerator and the stove with her back toward him. His hand slid across her shoulder. He stepped close and whispered, “I love you.”
“Did you tell Isaac that you wanted to—?” Her shoulders rose. “That after I graduate, we would…?” A delicate hand waved in front of her. “About the whole marriage thing.”
His arms wrapped around her. He kept his voice low so his parents couldn’t overhear. “We talked about this last week. Remember? The night of your wreck?”
She turned and slowly shook her head. The tears were gone. Her tongue peeked out and wet her parted lips. “I thought you were just saying that to get me to spend the night.”
James swallowed and shook his head. “No.” Her lips curled slowly and her eyes traveled the length of him. His body shivered as if her caress was real. Then it was. Intoxicated by her kiss, he moved closer, crowding her against the wall.
“Your mother and I can’t stay for breakfast.”
James lifted his head and the kitchen refocused. Heavy footfalls sounded on the other side of the wall. In one swift move, James released Joni, stepped back, and opened the refrigerator door to shield her from his dad’s knowing eyes.
“James?”
Glancing over his shoulder at his father, James fought for breath. “Yeah, Dad?”
“We need to make our way to Sara’s and see what Santa brought Andrew. We can’t stay for breakfast.”
As James struggled to conceal his desire, Joni grabbed the orange juice and pivoted on her heel. Facing the cabinets, she said, “Sorry, Mr. Preston. We’ll be right there.”
His father disappeared around the corner and James fell back into the refrigerator, closing the door in the process. He released a breath and opened his eyes to find Joni’s mischievous stare. Her teeth scraped across her bottom lip.
After one step, he tasted sweet oranges. He whispered urgently into her hair. “Don’t ever do that again.” His mother’s voice called his name from the living room and he added, “At least, not while we have company.”
Chapter Thirteen
“What’s up with you this morning?” Cecil waved his pen in front of James’s face. “Pay attention.”
James pushed Joni from his thoughts. “Sorry, sir. Late night.”
Cecil cocked his head. “Ray talk you into going out partying?”
James shook his head.
“Snuggled up to your phone again?” Cecil put the pen down. “What’s got you distracted?”
James took a deep breath. “I was wondering if the prefab shop has any openings.”
“It’s that girl, isn’t it?” Cecil laid his hard hat on the drafting table. “You want to settle down? Start a family?”
James pulled up a chair and met his boss’s stare. “Yes, sir. I do.”
“Dang, boy. I need you out here in the field.” The older man slurped coffee from a white mug. “You know, at home there’s little overtime pay and no per diem.”
The check from the sale of timber on his land could pay the rent for two years. His dad called yesterday to say he’d deposited it into James’s account. “I know.”
The general foreman propped his feet on the table. “We’re working five, tens here. You’ve been home every weekend since New Year’s.”
James tapped his boot heel against the table leg as he thought of the lonely drive to Sara’s every Friday and Saturday night. Sunday mornings, he met Joni and Isaac for breakfast and then suffered through a long-winded sermon. Isaac’s custody-court date was in a few weeks. James wanted to make them a real family. He couldn’t allow Joni to quit school, but he could be there to help her study every night. “It isn’t enough.”
Cecil sighed and frowned. “I’ll see what I can do.”
~~~
James Isaac Preston is excluded as the biological father of Isaac Steven Davies.
The piece of paper trembled in James’s hand. Excluded? That would mean that… This couldn’t be right. The return address was from the clinic where he and Isaac gave blood samples for the court-ordered paternity test. He flipped back to the letter and skipped the comparison chart. He read the conclusion again. James Isaac Preston is excluded as the biological father of Isaac Steven Davies.
He ripped open the letter from his attorney, and then the one from Isaac’s Guardian ad Litem. A court hearing was scheduled for Monday morning.
James sank into the chair. Isaac lay on his stomach watching cartoons on the hotel flat screen. Blond hair curled around the collar of his Diego pajamas.
A roaring in James’s ears blinded him. Isaac wasn’t his son? Resting his elbows on his knees, his head hung in limbo. How could Kathy do this? She swore Isaac was his and he believed her.
His college career. His dreams. He traded them all to be a dad. Only now he wasn’t. He cursed and slung an empty bottle across the room. The vanity mirror shattered into a million pieces, like James’s heart.
“Daddy.” Little hands tugged on his leg. “You make me sad and funny inside.”
“Isaac.” He lifted the little boy he loved so much. He couldn’t lose him. It didn’t matter what a DNA test said. No one would take him away.
“Daddy, you squishing me.”
Easing his hold on Isaac, James covered his inner turmoil with laughter. “You want to go see Joni tomorrow?”
The little boy grinned. “Yeah. Can we? Can we, please?”
He nodded. “In the morning, after we pack up.”
Isaac danced in front of him, chanting, “Joni. Joni. Joni.”
Someone knocked on the door. “You guys okay in there?” Ray must’ve heard the crash.
Shattered glass covered the floor. James lifted Isaac before his son stepped on a sliver of glass and then carried him to the door. He held him out to Ray. “Hold him a minute, will ya? I need to clean up this mess.”
Ray’s brows shot up and he set Isaac down outside the opened door. With shaky hands, James passed his friend the envelope. Ray read the package contents as James picked up the glass fragments.
“Man, I don’t know what to say.”
“It doesn’t change anything. I still have custody and on Monday, I’ll make it permanent.”
“James, be reasonable. I don’t think the judge will rule in favor of a single guy who travels like you do. They’re not—”
“Shut up!” James clenched his fist. A triangle of glass sliced through his palm. Blood poured down his arm. The pain made it real. He swore and threw the shard on the carpet.
“Is Daddy okay?” Isaac asked Ray.
“He’s fine. Let’s go find Lorraine.”
The door closed and Ray and Isaac were gone. Chunks of glass swam in his vision. Blood flowed from his palm. What would it be like to bleed out and give into the numbing pain? How easy would it be to finish the job? Then he’d feel nothing. He picked up the triangular prism and touched its tip.
“Don’t even think about doing something stupid.” Ray helped him stand and settled him in the chair. He threw the glass into the garbage can.
“Where’s Isaac?”
“With Lorraine.” Ray poured amber liquid from a bottle into a plastic hotel cup and placed it on the table. “Drink it.”
Numb with pain, James swallowed liquid fire while Ray picked the bits of glass from his right hand. “Stupid, moron. Did you think I’d let you do it?”
“I wouldn’t have.”
“You got that straight. I would’ve whooped your butt all the way to hell and back.” He wrapped a hand towel around James’s palm. “Hold this and don’t move.” Ray stepped out on
the sidewalk and flagged down a maid. “Hi there, sweet thing. Baby Ray needs a favor.”
James drank two cups of whiskey while the cute maid cleaned up the glass. “Bob will probably charge you for the mirror. But don’t worry, they’ve been broken before.”
“Thanks.” Ray winked at the girl and closed the door.
How did Ray do that?
His friend laughed. “One day, I’ll tell you my secret. Until then, drink up my friend.” Ray filled a second cup placed there by the maid moments ago and toasted James’s misery.
When Ray’s image blurred before him, James mumbled, “Thanks.”
“That’s what friends are for, dude. That’s what friends are for.”
The next afternoon, James declined Ray’s offer to ride with him. He texted his mom and sister and reminded them about the court date. The paternity results weren’t mentioned.
On the road home, he called his attorney. “Nothing’s changed. I still want custody. Do you think it’s possible?”
“Only the judge knows, but it’s probable unless a suitable home is found. The county is usually given supervision in cases like this, but unless a blood relative files, I don’t see any reason why the state wouldn’t grant you guardianship. Tasha Covington knows you.”
Later, James stopped for a burger and let Isaac run off some energy in the play place. He’d forgotten to tell Joni he was coming home. He dialed her number. “Hey beautiful, you miss me?”
Her laugh tickled his ear. “Of course I miss you.”
Isaac’s eyes lit up. “That Joni? I wanna talk.”
James tuned out Isaac’s chatter and waved him down in his seat. “We have a court hearing Monday morning.”
“Daddy, I want to talk!”
Joni laughed. “I remember, but maybe I should talk to my other boyfriend first.”
“Don’t hang up. I have something important to tell you.”
“Sure.”
James passed the phone to Isaac.
“Joni, will you take me on a date?”
Whatever He Wants Page 17
