by Nana Malone
It didn’t matter though. If I was going down, I was taking the asshole with me. I hooked my foot behind his knee as I went, and he stumbled on top of me.
I expected his hands to go around my throat, and I was ready to pluck at the meaty part of his hands and fight for my life.
I was ready to wedge a knee between us and mangle his balls with my toes. I was ready.
But as he came down with me, he grabbed me and rolled us over, taking his weight off of me. I blinked down at him as a sliver of moonlight from the garden lit him. “Theo?”
With a groan he said, “I like the way you do foreplay.”
I smacked him. “Jesus. You’re lucky I didn’t shoot first.”
“Oh, come on, deep down you knew it was me.”
“It’s pitch-black in here. I had no way of knowing.”
“You could have hit me with a tranq dart.” He held me tighter. “Let’s face it, you wanted a way to work out some of your… frustrations.”
I scowled at him then swallowed as I realized the thick length of him pressed right at the juncture of my thighs, and God it felt so damn good.
Had I known it was him?
Who cares? You know it’s him now. Take advantage of the situation.
My vajayjay practically screamed out ‘Hate bang! Hate bang!’
But oh no, my brain was still in charge, and I rolled off of him. Besides it wouldn’t be a hate bang would it? I didn't hate him.
Nope. You love him.
I shoved the thought aside. “Where the hell were you going?”
He dropped his head to the rug. “I couldn’t sleep, so I was going to go for a walk in the garden. It’s just outside the room for the love of god. I didn’t think I’d need a chaperone for that.”
I stared at him. “You need a chaperone for everything.”
He rubbed his neck then smoothly stood before extending a hand to me. Grumpily I took it.
Even if I was angry with him, the zing, that hadn’t gone away. In fact, it was worse. Maybe because I was keyed up.
The word you're looking for is horny.
Fine, so I was horny. I could just walk it off. I was not going to rub up against him like a cat in heat.
You already did that.
I rubbed my eyes. Focus. “Let me throw on my clothes and I’ll join you.”
Hi sighed. “Fine.”
I opted for the first thing I saw, which was my skirt from the day before. I tucked my T-shirt into it and slid on tennis shoes before grabbing my weapon and ammo and shoving it in the pockets.
When I stepped out, Theo was sitting by the French doors waiting for me. The playfulness from when we’d been rolling around on the floor was gone. He looked tired, stressed.
I hated to see him hurting like that. I hated to see the pain on his face, I hated that I couldn't do anything about it.
“Ready.”
He gave me a nod and led the way into the garden. We locked up behind us and started to walk. He didn’t say much, just let the meandering path take us around.
"Can I ask you something?
He stopped and turned to face me. "Yeah. What?"
"Does knowing the truth about Timothy Arlington change anything?"
He frowned and then resumed walking. "Well, I guess we have a strong indication that he's not trying to kill me, so that's something I suppose. But it’s not like I expected that overnight he was going to turn into my father."
I shook my head even though he couldn't see me and hurried to catch up to him. "No." I tugged his shoulders gently, and he stopped. We were deep in the maze now. The only things lighting our path as we walked were moonlight and some of the solar ground lights. "I mean, does it change who you are? I don't even know who you are, so why don't you maybe tell me. And by telling me, you’ll reinforce that Timothy Arlington had nothing to do with who you became as a person. A good person who would save a random teenager, one who would stand up for people. You're the kind of person who does the right thing. You could have walked away when Derrick showed up. You could have had your life back, walked away from all this bullshit. You could have taken that money and run. But you didn't. You stayed. And even though you were given a directive, you still tried to do the right thing. So tell me, Theo Coleman, who are you?"
He shrugged. "Just a guy."
I wasn’t going to accept that. "I don't believe that. Tell me who you are."
The muscle in his jaw ticked as he searched my gaze. "You want to know who I am, Zia?"
"Yeah, tell me. Pretend we just met." I stuck my hand out. "Hi, I'm Lady Zia Barnes, King's Knight and occasional screw-up. I have a crazy sister that I have to take care of, and she likes to call in the middle of the night." I shrugged. "Your turn."
A smile tugged at his lips. "Hi, I'm regular old Theo Coleman. I try to do what people need. Sometimes I get it wrong. What's worse is when I get right, because then I lose a little bit of who I am."
"Well, nice to meet you Theo. Might you tell me more about yourself, so I can judge for myself if you get it wrong?"
I wanted to touch him. I wanted to feel my hand in his, safe and enveloped, and I wanted him.
Because you love him.
Christ. I loved someone I knew absolutely nothing about.
He ran a hand over his face. "You really want to know all this stuff?"
"Sure, why not? It's not like we have anything better to fill our time, right? What with people trying to kill you and all. You're stuck with me in the palace. We are literally attached at the hip. We should bare it all."
He lifted a brow. "Literally. I think we'd be having a lot more fun if that was the case."
I snorted a laugh. "You know what I mean."
He grinned then, and any ice I was holding on to, any anger, any sense of betrayal melted away in a pool of heat and sizzle. All from a smile.
He looked down at my hand, and then he took it but didn't shake it. Instead, he held it tentatively, just like how I remembered him holding me. Then he continued our walk. "Well, I grew up in Jersey City. Kyle and I always say we're from New York, but we're not. Maybe we spent so much time there, we might as well have been, but not really. We lived in a fourth-floor walk-up, directly across the ladder. Like me, Kyle didn't have a dad, so our moms were kind of each other's plus-ones all the time. Kyle's dad died though. And from the time we were two, I pretty much called him my brother because I was missing one. How I begged for a sibling. I always wanted one."
"And you have one, Theo."
"Yeah, but he's missing again, isn't he?" He shook his head. "Anyway, I was lucky enough to go to this prestigious prep school in the city. Mom always said I got a scholarship, but now I guess I know that Timothy Arlington paid for it, which makes me feel completely different about it. Kyle actually got a scholarship there. After my mom raved to his mother about how great it was, he just had to go too. When we were old enough, we were able to hop the bus to get into the city and go to school by ourselves. We felt like big men."
I smiled at that, picturing a scruffy, uniformed Theo and Kyle, acting as each other's wingmen as they traipsed into the big bad city.
"You must have been adorable."
"Oh, we were hoodlums. Smart but still hoodlums."
"I find that hard to believe."
He shrugged then. "I had a temper, and Kyle had a tendency to get into trouble. But I learned to be what my mom needed whenever she needed it. When she was sad, I was the light that would cheer her up. When she was angry, I was the soldier ready and willing to go fight every battle for her. And I learned to do that in school too. I learned to do it for Kyle and for everyone else. I just never learned to be what I needed, you know?"
I nodded slowly. "It can be exhausting seeing to someone else’s needs."
"Yeah, tell me about it. I grew up pretending to be all these things. Anyway, Kyle got into a pinch of trouble, and I had some trouble getting him out of it. Whether I had to talk our way out or fight our way out, that was me."
"He really was your brother."
Theo grinned then. "Through and through. My whole life though, I had this feeling something wasn't right. I'd never been able to pinpoint what or why. So anyway, Kyle and I went to MIT. Again, together."
"Wow, you’ve spent your whole life with him."
"Yeah, I have. You know, it didn't even occur to me to ask how he felt about the whole Derrick thing. He's my real brother, you know? I didn't even know Derrick."
"But Kyle's family, right? Which means that he loves you and can only be happy for you when good things happen."
His lips tipped up in the corners. "That's Kyle though. He does look out for me. We look out for each other. After college, I got headhunted by a huge tech company, Base Software?"
I frowned. "I've heard of them I think."
"You name a tech company, and they have a finger in it. They were huge, and I was a rising star. Kyle took a job at a startup, and they were rising fast. They worked with film technology, had lots of big contracts, lots of commercial applications. He was great. He's an amazing developer. You should see him code."
"I'd love to see him and Ariel head to head."
"He's not exactly a hacker, but that would be interesting." He shrugged. "Anyway, there was this technology he built for a safe way to remove drones from protected airspace, and then Base acquired his company. They basically stole the program from Kyle and then fired him."
I stopped and stared. "What?"
"Yeah. They said that because he created it while he was working for them, it was theirs. He didn't like some of the applications they were going to use it for, so he demanded what was his. He lost."
"Jesus."
"Yeah. They cheated him, and he was never quite the same afterward. On the flipside, I'd risen fast through the ranks. They named me a director early, and they were going to make me a junior VP."
"Jesus Christ, that's huge."
"Yeah, I know. But when Kyle went off to do his own thing, I couldn't let him flounder on his own, you know? He asked me to go with him, and I did."
I blinked at him. "Did he ask you to go with him, or did you volunteer?"
Theo frowned at that. "I—I don't know. We were having drinks, and the next thing I knew I was leaving my job."
"But did you think that's what he needed?"
"Well, Kyle would never have asked me to leave, I guess. I suppose I left on principle."
"Theo, you didn't have to leave the company."
"Considering what they did to Kyle, I did have to leave."
"Okay."
"It was the right thing to do."
"I'm not arguing with you. What did Kyle have to say about it?"
Theo laughed then. "He thought I was insane. He begged me not to do it, but it was done. So we started our own thing. We had some early success, but the project we’re working on that we’re both really passionate about is Philanthro App, a way to make philanthropy accessible to the normal person. Kind of similar to Go Fund Me and those things but more accessible to everyday people, and to include specific causes that you can give to regularly. Everyone has a donation page, but this way is kind of great. Say, you have $20 a week to give to various charities. Instead of having to go to all these several places and donate four or five dollars each, you could pick what percentage of whatever you gave went to each place. And it’s always done seamlessly for a small fee, of course."
I smiled at that. “Of course.”
"ACLU, Red Cross, Habitat, established places that we vet. It makes it easy. People get to feel good about themselves, and real causes get the money that they need. You don't have to give big sums. A normal, average, everyday person can still do something great."
"That's noble and a fantastic idea."
He nodded. "Yeah, right? We're really excited about it. But we’ve gotten to the phase where we needed more funding to really propel the app, and we were out of money. We took the money we both had from our severance packages from Base and put it all into the company. Kind of our last Hail Mary to keep us going. We need an influx of cash."
I sighed. "And in walks Derrick Arlington."
"Bingo. Not to mention that my mom had been sick for a couple of years. For the first year, insurance covered most of it, her first round of chemo. But all the additional treatments, they got expensive. Fast. Some of which I'm still trying to cover. I paid for it, but you know..." His voice trailed.
"Yeah, I can imagine."
"So that's how I ended up here."
I wanted to give him support but felt like he needed to steer away from the heavy stuff for a bit, so I said, "I noticed how you didn't include any women in there."
"Oh well, you know, I thought the legions of women were a given."
I smacked his arm.
He laughed and pretended to stumble, when in reality, he was solid as a rock. In a sparring fight, I might be quicker and more experienced, but I'd seen him fight. We might be an even match.
"Can I ask you something else?"
He nodded. "I won't lie to you again, Zia."
"Where did you learn to fight?"
He gave me a measured sigh that was part sigh and part chuckle. "Ah yes, well, when we were kids, like I said, Kyle had a penchant for trouble. And since I had the tendency to jump in to save him, I got my ass kicked a lot. Finally, our moms stuck us in jiu-jitsu. I took to it. Kyle, not as much. But he can hold his own in emergencies. I eventually went on to Krav Maga and other things. It was a way to channel some of my anger and frustration. I liked it. It’s so satisfying to take out some frustrations on the mat or facing someone head to head. I like the challenge of it. Not so much the blood sport, but it lets you test your skills."
"That would explain that night you were nearly abducted then."
He shrugged. "I try to keep my temper in control. I never wanted you to see me like that."
"I mean, you were unbelievable. For someone who wasn't military, I didn't know what the hell I was looking at."
He winced. "I wish you hadn't seen it."
"Why?"
"Because it's not who I am."
I squeezed his hand. "Well, it's part of you, right?"
"Yeah, but I didn’t want to scare you."
I squeezed his hand again. "You don't scare me. I don't scare easy. Remember, bodyguard. It was hot, but it was also frightening because I didn't know who you were. But I know who you are now, and what you did doesn't scare me at all."
He paused in front of one of the taller hedges, and the moonlight beamed down on us. "I would never hurt you, Zia. And I'm sorry that not being able to tell you the truth made you feel like you couldn't trust me."
"I know the truth now. And while it still stings a little, I know you didn't hurt me on purpose."
He swallowed hard. "I—meeting you wasn’t something I expected. I finally fucking fell in love, and I couldn't tell you who I was."
My heart squeezed so hard that it was going to burst. He loved me?
"You love me?"
He blinked rapidly, and a crease formed on his brow. He swallowed. “I do. I—”
I pressed my fingers to his lips. "I love you too."
The thing that scared me, the thing that terrified me was gone, and I suddenly felt free. Weightless. Like locking it in had caused all the pain and confusion. It wasn't a bad thing to love him. I just had to be able to let myself go enough to do it.
"You love me?"
I nodded. "Yeah, I do. Don't let it go to your head though."
His grin flashed. "Oh, I'm absolutely going to do that" And there, in the maze of the Rose Garden, he dipped his head. "I'm never going to lie to you again. I swear."
"I know. Now that I actually know you, you weren’t very good at pretending to be a dick."
He chuckled then, and his lips slanted over mine. And while he'd kissed me before, made every nerve cell in my body tingle with electricity, this was something else. This was real. This was something I would fight to keep, something I was truly afraid to lo
se.
15
Theo…
I should have been gentle.
I meant to be gentle. But as soon as I pressed my mouth to hers, electricity kicked through my body. And lust chased away every bit of restraint I thought I possessed, until I couldn’t think. By the time my lips crashed on hers, all I could do was feel.
I slid my hands down her back to that pert little ass and lifted her easily, holding her against me. Zia moaned as I licked into her mouth, and my dick jerked. Those throaty sounds of hers drove me crazy.
Heat and desire weren’t strong enough words to describe what was flooding my veins. Try a molten craving. I didn't just want her. I needed her for my survival. I held her easily with one hand and slid the other into her hair. I fisted the heavy tresses, angling her just how I needed.
There was no hesitation in Zia’s kiss. When my tongue chased hers, she met the demand, sliding hers against mine, tempting me into a wicked game. Low in my belly, lust pulled on my tenuous control. Bullshit. You have no control.
It was true. I was a taut tension wire that could snap at any moment. I had a fleeting worry that I might possibly come in my pants. Get yourself under control.
I dragged in steadying breaths as I pulled back. “Zia, do you feel what you're doing to me?”
When she lifted her heavy-lidded gaze to meet mine, her pupils were dilated. “I could ask you the same thing.”
Backing her against one of the stone dividers between the hedges, I finally let go of my control. Every cell in my body urged me to hurry, to bury myself inside her deep. But when I kissed her again, she slowly melted into me. Her tongue teased and drove me mad, changing our tempo.
She had the power in her touch and in her kiss to burn me.
She slid her hands into my hair, and I pulled back momentarily. “You are so beautiful.”
In some darkened corner of my brain, an alarm bell rang. It tried to warn me of the danger she posed. She had the power to hurt me. If and when I had to walk away from her, I’d be shredded.
Stop. Love her now. Be here now.
