by Nana Malone
I knew that with Theo's touch, I would be okay. And his touch did have some therapeutic benefit because I felt okay now. The anger was still there though. I wanted a Garrett-sized punching bag.
But I could also see the attack being the stuff of repeated nightmares that could haunt me for years. What should I have done? Which step should I have taken? How could I have ended it sooner? At that moment, I just wanted to be as close to Theo as possible, but I got the impression he’d been shell-shocked.
No amount of good sex was going to erase the horror of what had almost happened to me, but being with Theo would be a good start to healing. Oh, and getting to kill the motherfucker myself would go a long way too.
Sebastian leaned forward. "I am doing a shitty job. Zia, I'm so sorry. He'll be relieved from his post. In fact, Ethan took care of that last night. And since the crime was committed against you and you're a King's Knight, that's tantamount to a crime against me."
My head snapped up. I understood what that meant. "Stanstit?"
He nodded. "Yeah, Stanstit. You are one of mine. You protect me with your life, and I protect you with mine. He made a mistake by crossing you.”
My mouth hung open. "I—I don't even know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. We have counselors on staff, someone you can talk to. I suggest you make regular appointments. The sooner, the better."
"I won't let this interfere with my work, Sebastian."
"No one's saying it has to. But I am saying you have to talk to someone. It doesn't even have to be who we suggest, but they're who we have available at six o'clock in the morning, so that's who I'm offering."
"Thank you doesn't seem enough to say.”
“And sorry doesn't seem enough either."
Penny took my hand. "How's Theo? Was he helpful?"
I nodded. "In his way. He doesn't know what to say, so he was just holding me and stuff."
"It's a good start. And it helps." Her smile was soft.
"It does."
"I understand Derrick was the one who stopped him?"
I nodded slowly, not wanting the mental imagery to take hold. "Yeah. It turns out the billionaire is good for something."
Sebastian chuckled at that. "I'm so sorry this happened to you. We're going to use the next few days to weed out any other problematic friends Garrett might have. Until then, we need you to be on high alert and be extra careful. You'll be paired with another Royal Guard when you're on duty."
"Jesus Christ, Jax was right? I have to use the buddy system?"
Penny nodded. "Look, by and large, most of the Royal Guard is loyal. And my father has been weeding out any nefarious elements there. Some are more loyal to the Regents Council, but after something like this, I don't want to take any chances with you."
I gritted my teeth. "I understand."
The goddamn buddy system. Damn it. Just when I was getting things back on track. Getting my life back in order.
If that's what it's going to take, that's what it's going to take.
Sebastian leaned forward again. "Since he's going to be going to Stanstit, if you want ten minutes to kick his ass before the transfer, we can make that happen. It’s not altogether legal, but no one would be the wiser."
The inner me screamed, ’Yes!’ Picturing the myriad of ways I could maim him.
But then the worrier inside me, the one who knew that anger led down a dark path, shook her head. Goddamn it, no. “No, Sebastian, that won’t be necessary. Let him sit in a hole by himself with only thirty minutes of sunshine for the rest of his life and see how he likes it.”
Penny nodded approvingly. "Yeah. I think you're going to be just fine."
21
Zia…
A week had passed, and I still wasn’t sure if I was coming or going. Tamsin was put on as additional detail, but I could read between the lines. She was there for me in case I lost my shit.
By and large though, I didn’t see any of the guard. Maybe Ethan had told them to stay away until they had the Garrett situation all tied up.
What I couldn’t stand, though, was Derrick and Theo treating me with kid-gloves. Derrick just kept staring at me as if he might need to jump in and save me at any point. And Theo, well Theo wasn’t coming anywhere near me.
I had tried to explain that what I wanted most was to feel like me, but he hadn’t taken any initiative. And when I’d climbed into bed naked the night before, I’d found him in pajama bottoms, and he’d been the perfect damn gentleman, not attempting to fondle me once.
You were almost assaulted. He’s being sensitive.
But I didn’t need sensitive. I needed Theo.
Since Mohammed was ignoring the mountain, it was time for the mountain to take matters into its own hands… or however the metaphor went.
Derrick was off playing pool with Lucas and Roone. I’d heard him leave. I found Theo in the study with his laptop. “Can we talk for a minute?”
“Sure, you okay? Do you need anything?”
Loaded question. “Yes, actually. I’d like your dick.”
He choked on his swig of beer. “What?”
I blinked at him. “Your. Dick. Would you rather I show you?”
He coughed out a laugh. “No. I mean, yes.” He shook his head. “I’m just trying to be sensitive. That piece of Satan’s taint tried to hurt you, and I just want to give you some time and space from that.”
“Did you ask if I wanted time and space?”
He opened his mouth to answer, then closed it, making a small pout. And looking good enough to eat. “I suppose not.”
“You of all people. You know me. You understand how I was more pissed off than scared that he had the drop on me.”
There it was, his hint of a smile. “Oh, I know. I saw. I just also saw the shaking, and I love you, Zia. I want to take care of you. The last thing I wanted to do was make anything worse. I figured you’d be talking to the counselor—”
“And I am,” I interrupted. “But I also need you.”
He frowned. “Sorry. I guess I just assumed that maybe you’d be feeling fragile. I listened to Derrick and his account of how he found you. You are mine to protect, and I never want to be the one who hurts you.”
“I love you.” I gave him my best smile. “I also would very much like it if you made love to me. What happened with Garrett has nothing to do with us. You have always made me feel safe and protected, even if that’s not what I wanted at the time. And if anything, you can help me erase the anger. Because I am feeling a lot of that.”
He lifted a brow. “So, you mean to tell me I could have been falling asleep inside of you this whole time?”
I nodded. “Yep.”
His smile was slow, mischievous. “Then in that case, let’s make up for some lost time.”
He tossed his laptop aside, nearly missing the chair. He leaned over me and kissed me nice and slow. Drugging me with every lick of his tongue. “Do you have any idea how strong you are? I know you don’t feel it, but I see that strength in you every day.”
“I don’t feel strong right now. I feel ashamed and stupid. Why didn’t I see the kind of person he was? I should have seen, right? There was a clue in there.” I shook my head.
He pulled me closer. “Let me remind you that you are sexy, sassy, and can bring a man to his knees.”
My lips formed an O as he tugged me into the bedroom, closing the door behind us. My lady parts wanted to scream out ‘Hallelluah,’ but I kept my cool.
“You’re sure this is what you want? We can stop at any time if you’re not.”
I licked my lips. “Yes. This is absolutely what I want.”
Theo…
I’d made a mistake. I’d assumed she needed space instead of asking her what she needed. I had lost time to make up for, and I intended to make it up in spades.
When I turned to pull her toward me, my hands shook a little. What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I nervous?
Because you want this to be so good for her.<
br />
It was true. It felt like there were high stakes this time. But why were my hands freaking shaking? Like I was a rookie or something? Because you know what’s going to happen. You know how explosive this can be.
Stepping in front of her, I let my hands span her waist, bringing her flush against me. She gasped, and her eyes snapped to mine. The thundering of my heartbeat was all I could hear as I focused on her parted lips.
I dipped my head, kissing her softly. Immediately, she sighed into my mouth and wound her hands into the hair at the nape of my neck. She sucked my tongue into her hot, wet mouth, and I forgot for a moment that I was supposed to be taking things slow, focusing on drawing this out. I only wanted to keep tasting her.
While she tried to wrestle control of the kiss from me, my hands fisted in the material of her skirt and tugged it up. Her sudden, shocked intake of breath was all I needed to take control again.
I lifted her up until she wrapped her legs around me, but I didn’t deposit her on the bed. Instead, I turned to the door and braced her against it. “Just relax. I’m going to take care of you, Zia.”
She used my shoulders as leverage and arched her body so that her slick heat met the bulge in my jeans. She worked her hips, and my eyes crossed. She knew how to move her body, how to work me over.
“Zia.” Her name was more grunt than English, but lust chased desire along my nerve endings, and the part of my brain that focused on the finer points of language had long overheated.
I had to find a way to gain control again.
I reluctantly removed her hands from the nape of my neck and lifted them above her head as I encircled them. I licked at her lips, and very deliberately, I ground myself against the satin undies that blocked my path to bliss.
She hissed. “Theo, hurry, please.”
No. I was not rushing this. Not like in the Rose Garden. I wanted to take my time. “Look at me, Zia.”
Her lids fluttered open, and her pupils were dilated. As I kissed her again, my body rocked against hers, and she met every movement of my hips with her own. “You want me to take you like this? Hard and fast and up against the wall?”
“Any way I can have you.”
“Hmm.” I nuzzled her neck as I slipped my hand under her blouse. When my palm closed over the full globe, we both moaned. Her breasts were so full and firm. So soft and responsive.
“Theo, please.”
I kissed her again deeply, savoring her flavor and sucking on her tongue until she moaned and her body started to rock into mine in a steady rhythm.
Slowly, I backed away from the kiss. Releasing her hands, I steadied her by the waist and set her feet back on the floor. Her eyes went wide with questions, but she didn’t say anything. She followed my silent command, and I turned her around. Skimming my hands over the satiny softness of her arms, I positioned her palms against the door. I took my time, caressing her. When my hands reached the buttons on her blouse, she stiffened.
Slowly, I popped each button from its tiny loop. With each one I released, she puffed out a small breath, then finally exhaled completely when I had her blouse fully open. I peeled the fine silk off her shoulders and kissed the soft skin of her back as the material fell away. Her skin was satin smooth; I could do nothing but touch it and never get bored.
“Theo, what are you doing?”
“I’m taking care of you.”
When I unhooked her bra, she groaned. I didn’t let her bring down her hands so I couldn’t remove it. Instead, I skimmed my hands up her torso, palming her softly, then gently massaging. Her legs started to quiver when the massage turned from relief to sensual tease. Gently, I plucked the pebbled tips, and she dropped her forehead against the wall.
“I’ve had a mild obsession with your breasts since I first saw you. You know that?”
Her breath came out ragged and sharp. “Theo. I can’t. You’re killing me.”
I plucked the tight buds again. “If you want me to stop, all you have to do is say so.”
I continued to trail hot, open-mouthed kisses across her shoulders and the back of her neck as I played.
When she started to rotate her hips back against me, I swore and gritted my teeth at the red haze of lust clouding my vision. Dropping my hands to her hips, I stopped them. “Just relax, sweetheart.”
“This is torture.”
“Tell me about it,” I mumbled.
I helped her step out of the skirt. Smoothing my hands over her slender calves and skimming over the backs of her thighs, I hooked my fingers into her panties and tugged them down over the expanse of her toned, tan legs.
She shuddered when I kissed the backs of her thighs. “Can you part your legs for me, sweetheart?”
She parted her legs a little.
“Wider.” It came out as a harsh command.
She sucked in a breath and planted her feet about shoulder width apart.
I trailed kisses up the backs of her legs, pausing only to nip at the backs of her knees. When I reached the top of her thighs, I ground out, “Lean forward for me.”
It took her several seconds to do as I instructed. When she did, I rewarded her with a soft kiss on her slick lips, and she shivered. Kneeling, I lapped at her cleft and savored the unique spicy flavor that was Zia. With a hand on her firm ass, I massaged the skin as I teased her by sliding a finger inside her slick channel.
She cursed softly, but I continued my licking, and stroking, working my tongue over her clit while I slid two fingers inside her. The slick walls of her core milked at my fingers, and I felt them quicken. Kissing her inner thighs, I encouraged her. “Come on, Zia, come for me. You’re safe. It’s okay to let go. I’ll catch you.”
But she held on. She writhed against the door, and her slender hands balled into fists as she fought orgasm. She tensed as if trying to fight one off, but then she went limp and tossed her head back. I continued to lick and stroke her until her whole body shook.
With a whisper of my name, she finally let go.
Zia…
I shook as Theo picked me up and laid me on the bed. Orgasm aftershocks rolled through my body, leaving me languid and foggy. What was he doing to me? And could I take more?
He shed his clothes as if he was in no hurry at all, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. His jeans and boxer briefs came next. All the while, he kept his burning gaze on mine. Unable to take the intensity of his stare, I let my eyes drift closed.
He saw too much saw. It was too intense.
His voice was soft, but authoritative. “Zia, look at me.”
I shook my head. I thought I was ready, but the level of intensity was unexpected.
His touch was soft on my cheek. “Shh, look at me.”
I peeled my lids open to look up at him. “Theo, I—”
“I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here with you. All you have to do is keep your eyes open to see it.” He slid into bed beside me, and I had to scoot over to make room for him. “You with me?” He asked as he drew me close.
I nodded against his chest as I inhaled. Sandalwood. I sighed and immediately relaxed. I loved that smell.
Theo pressed feather-light kisses along my temple, my forehead, my jaw line, the tip of my nose. When he reached my lips, he barely skimmed them with his own, and I whimpered. He angled his head, deepened the kiss, and anchored my face in his hands as he devoured my lips. Desire spiked again as his expert tongue licked at the roof of my mouth, and he teased my tongue to follow into his hot mouth.
As I kissed him, I writhed against him, brushing my nipples against his chest, turning them into hardened peaks. His muffled moan made his chest rumble, and the friction against the sensitive peaks of my breasts sent a pull of desire straight to my core.
The length of his erection pressed into my thigh insistently, and I reached down to wrap my hand around the rigid length of it. Massaging.
“Jesus, Zia.”
With sure fingers, I continued stroking him, running my hand over his cock, my palm over the s
ensitive tip. When I did this twice, Theo’s hips jerked, and a drop of moisture escaped his erection to lubricate my palm. “Theo. I want you. I—I need you.”
“And you have me.” His fingers dipped between my thighs, and I shivered. When he slipped one impossibly long finger inside my slick heat, I moaned, parting my thighs to allow him better access.
“God, you are so wet. So ready.”
“Mmm, Theo.” Lust rocked my body, and need chased the lust.
Theo trailed kisses along my throat to my collarbone, moving to my breast. With his mouth poised over a distended peak, he paused. His breath tickled my skin, and I writhed. “Theo, please.”
He kissed the underside of my other breast. “I like teasing you.” He hovered over the tip of my breast again. “You like it when I tease you.” Theo used his thumb to circle my clit as he slid first one finger into my channel, then two. Stroke, retreat, stroke, retreat.
He kept the pace nice and easy, no matter how much I angled my hips, moving against his fingers. Finally, he withdrew his fingers and shifted position, brushing his lips over my nipple. “Theo?”
“Yeah, Zia?”
He settled his lips around my nipple, and a pull of lust pierced my core. Theo suckled me deep, his cheeks hollowing as he drew me into his mouth. Blood rushed in my head, and all I could think about was Theo. His lips, his fingers. Like everything else in the world had vanished and all that mattered now was this moment, this time with him.
“I need you to make love to me. Please. I can’t—”
“Who’s kissing you?” He grazed my nipple with his teeth.
“Oh, God. I—Theo…”
Theo’s fingers stopped penetrating my core. “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”
“Theo. Please. I—”
He removed his fingers from my heated skin and rolled his big body over mine, bracing himself over me. His erection nudged my cleft, and he swore. “You’re so beautiful, Zia.”
I rotated my hips, sliding my cleft along the length of him. “Theo, please don’t make me wait. I need you.”
Theo dropped his forehead to mine and kissed me softly. “All you have to do is enjoy and know that I love you with everything that I am. You are in charge here okay. Anything you need, I’ll provide for you.”
