“So where are you dragging me?” I stood behind Bailen’s chair with my arms crossed over my chest. Even after our brief agreement about distractions, I wasn’t sure a little outing would help keep my mind off things. Leaving the Hive seemed like mixing too many paint colors into a muddy mess.
Bailen was the only one left in the room, but his focus was glued to his monitor. Either he loved the tech way too much or was obsessed with what happened and couldn’t let it go. After several minutes, I wondered if he’d heard me or even noticed I was behind him. He continued typing with a rhythmic clicking of the keys. I inched away and crept toward the door, hoping to escape.
Before I made it more than a dozen steps, he said, “Oh, you know, somepl—” He spun in his chair. “You… look, uh…” He paused, his face paling.
My cheeks flushed. It was weird having someone compliment me after I’d spent most of the day alone in sweats, having nightmares and sobbing. Especially someone who wasn’t Harlow. “Uh, thanks. Peyton gave it to me.” I fidgeted with the hem of the black-and-silver, sequined tank top over a pair of tight-fitting jeans. “She said she didn’t wear it anymore. Am I overdressed?” But what I really wanted to ask if I was still a ball of snot.
Smiling with a hint of deviousness, he shook his head. “It’s perfect,” he said.
“Where are we going?” I asked again so I had time to mentally prepare. Peyton had managed to avoid that question when she’d thrown her tank top at my head and slammed the door in my face. I wasn’t sure what I’d done to deserve that response.
“It’s a surprise.” Bailen jumped from the chair and motioned for me to follow him down the corridor toward the trap door.
“I hate surprises,” I muttered under my breath.
Inside the barn, I reached for a helmet.
“Oh, you won’t need that.” Bailen took the helmet from my hand and placed it on the bike. “We’re walking.”
I arched my eyebrow. “Oh?” I said. “Mind giving me a hint?”
“You’ll see.” He activated a small light on his watch. As he dropped his hand, the outside edge brushed against mine, sending a flutter rippling through my stomach. The brief contact somehow made the void inside me seem slightly smaller.
I followed Bailen through the main barn door into the darkened forest. The underbrush crunched beneath our feet. The moon barely peeked through the treetops and with the nearest farmhouse likely miles away, it was hard to see inches in front of us. It was a stark contrast from how illuminated the city was, so I was thankful for Bailen’s light.
As we walked, my mind wandered to Harlow. I wished I could fall into his arms and tell him everything while he ran his hands through my hair. He’d listen and, by the end, I’d know what to do. And then things would return to a calm state, almost boring. I needed boring. Anything that resembled my life. Anything that kept the thoughts of Jake from creeping out of the dark corners of my mind. But that wasn’t my life anymore.
I was lucky to have Bailen. But he was someone I barely knew. Despite that, we’d already shared so much. Even with all the crazy, I had to give him credit for trying. There was an ease about hanging around him. And although hiking through the woods in the middle of nowhere wasn’t exactly my style, it kept my mind off things. Jake would be happy that I wasn’t sitting around drowning in a pool of tears.
“We’re almost there,” Bailen said softly—so much so that the hooting owls almost drowned out his words.
“Do I need to close my eyes for this surprise?” I asked sarcastically. I secretly hoped he’d give me a clue as to where we were headed, but I embraced the mystery that kept my mind guessing instead of the infinite loop of Jake’s death playing through my head.
“If you do, you might trip on a tree branch,” he said. “And we wouldn’t want that, even if I promised to catch you.”
I scoffed and kicked a rock to avoid showing I secretly thought the comment was charming.
“Besides, it’s not necessary. You have no idea where we’re going.”
“Wow. Just rub it in, why don’t you?”
“If that were my intent, you’d know it.”
“Then just tell me.”
“I could tell you,” he said. “Or I could show you.” He pointed ahead to a rundown shed, illuminating it with the light from his watch.
The slanted roof seemed like it would slide off at any second. Its deep red paint chipped off the walls. Several of the wooden boards were broken or missing, and a giant crack ran the length of the lone window.
“Uh, what is this place?” I asked, goose bumps forming on my arms.
“You’ll see.” He tapped his fingers together, then ran his palm across the crack on the window. A green light traced the path of the crack. The entire wall slid to the right with a series of creaks, revealing a set of concrete stairs.
“More secret hideouts?”
“Something like that.”
He led me down the stairs into a small corridor. There was barely enough space for us to walk side by side without knocking into the walls or each other. The close proximity to Bailen made my muscles tense, but my heart warmed. Around two turns, we stood in front of a large steel door. I gulped, wondering what secrets were locked behind it.
Bailen pounded on the door three times. A small slit near the top of the door screeched open. Two brown eyes appeared. Retro club music spilled out from the slot. The eyes scanned us up and down then stopped on me, making me feel like I was under a microscope.
“She’s with me,” Bailen said.
The guy snorted, and the slot scraped closed.
With a metallic clang, the door swung open, and Bailen pulled me inside. We stood on a wrought-iron balcony overlooking a small concrete dance floor packed with people. Who knew there were so many Ghosts?
Leading me down the staircase on our right, we walked past a series of booths toward the circular bar. Strobe lights panned and changed colors. The heavy beat of the music vibrated off my chest and pounded in my ears, muddling latent memories from a time that seemed so far away and so close all at the same time.
“Where are we?” I shouted over the music.
“Neon Nectar, the hottest hangout around.”
“How come I’ve never heard of it?”
“’Cause it’s a secret.”
Bailen winked and straddled a bar stool. He motioned to the one next to him, and I climbed on. A series of illuminated, large clear tubes running floor to ceiling lined the wall behind the bar. Each tube contained different neon-colored liquids. I watched the bright bubbles rise in the tubes then pop once they hit the surface.
“If it’s a secret, why are there so many people here?”
“Because the Ghosts have hideouts all over. People come from everywhere to interface with headquarters.”
“This club is headquarters?”
“No, but the Hive is. And while they’re here, they usually need to blow off some steam.”
“Aren’t you afraid they’ll find this place?”
“Did you see the outside?”
“All right. You’ve got a point.”
“Can I get you a drink?” Bailen asked without missing a beat.
“Uh, yeah,” I said, unsure what a drink here entailed.
He waved down the bartender. “Two purple nectars please.” The bartender moved to the purple tube and filled two tall, skinny glasses. After dropping a straw in each, he slid the drinks in front of us. I grabbed the cool glass and sipped a bit of the liquid. It was surprisingly sweet, with a grape flavor. I took a larger swig. My head felt lighter, like I’d drunk in a giant breath of pure oxygen. For the first time in days, my head cleared.
“Good, huh?” Bailen asked, his gaze lingering on me over the top of his glass. He gulped down half his drink in one go.
I took another large swig, enjoying the sense of freedom and clarity the drink gave me.
“Care to dance?” Bailen hopped off his stool and offered me a hand.
I shrugged
. “I’m not much of a dancer.” Harlow never would have asked me to dance. Soccer players didn’t dance. But I’d never cared. Now, everything was different. A different time. A different place. A different guy. I wasn’t sure what different meant, but maybe I needed it.
“Oh, come on. I bet you could dance circles around me.”
“I don’t know about that.”
He laughed, the first carefree thing I’d heard from him in days. His loose-fitting jeans and collared, green shirt—although not his usual attire—accentuated his tall, boney frame. Despite his clean-cut clothes, his wild, brown hair still hung in his face. Part of me longed to reach out and brush it away so I could see him better. Not that it would matter. I could never read him anyway.
He moved his hips almost to the beat as he waited for me, clearly not taking no for an answer. He wasn’t a good dancer, but something about his awkwardness made a smile tug at my lips. One that I didn’t know I had desperately needed.
Sliding off the stool, I accepted his outstretched hand. We weaved through a sea of people to the center of the dance floor.
He continued to move slightly offbeat, and I hesitated before matching his swaying. Reaching around me with his left arm, he placed his hand on the small of my back. My skin prickled underneath my thin tank top. I suddenly wished I had on more clothes. Then maybe I wouldn’t want to forget I had another life, forget about Jake, forget about those I’d left behind, and forget Harlow was waiting for me. A life I might not get to return to.
I wasn’t supposed to feel like I wanted to destroy everything from my past before it had been taken from me. But Bailen was trying so hard to help me. To be sweet. Maybe he wasn’t trying; maybe he actually was. Or maybe there was more to him than what I’d originally seen. Like the glimpse on the roof where he and Jake had switched places momentarily. My heart pounded.
There was a fine line between his obsession with technology and genuine interest, and Bailen flirted with both.
Flirted with me.
His intense gaze locked with mine, and I inhaled sharply. He grabbed my belt loop and pulled me closer to him. My awkward dancing settled into hip swaying that matched the heavy beat, and his hips soon found mine.
Bailen leaned in. His warm breath tickled my ear. “I’m glad you came.”
“Me too.”
But despite my acknowledgement, he pulled away. As the space grew between us, the void inside me expanded. I inched closer, and the ache in my heart eased.
Somehow, beyond all impossibilities, he was exactly what I needed, the thing I’d least expected to help. I stared into his eyes as if they held some kind of secret message for me. The crowd of people surrounding us faded into the background. I lost myself in the swirls and various shades of green in his irises.
I draped my arms around his neck and pressed my forehead to his to get even closer.
But my brain kicked in and I eased back, butterflies swarming inside. What am I doing? I have a boyfriend.
Bailen cupped my cheeks, drawing me closer to him. Time slowed. He leaned toward me. I did nothing to stop it. I’d always followed the rules. Now I wanted to break them.
Our lips brushed against each other, and I pulled away slightly, my pulse beating in my neck. Bailen leaned in again, and I met him halfway.
Our lips crashed together in a wild fury. A kiss like none I’d ever experienced. A kiss that made me forget everything I didn’t want to remember.
My hands roamed to his waist. He wrapped his arms around my hips and pulled me closer. I stretched up on my tiptoes to be closer to him. All sense of time flew away as I lost myself in the moment. A moment so far from everything I knew—in the best possible way.
“My god! Get a room!”
Peyton’s voice ripped through the fog and returned me to reality. Jerking away from Bailen, I faced her. She had her head cocked to the side with a sly grin plastered on her face. When I could no longer stand it, I dropped my attention to my hands. My life came crashing back to me. What had I done?
I’d always hated cheaters. Now I was one. And Peyton’s face said she knew my secret.
Without a word, she turned to Bailen.
“We have an extraction.”
“Now?” Bailen asked.
Peyton propped her hand on her hip. “No, next year, loverboy.”
My cheeks burned, but Bailen didn’t notice because he was too busy giving Peyton a death stare.
“Believe me, I wouldn’t have gotten within a fifty-mile radius of this horrific display if it weren’t absolutely necessary.” Peyton spun on her heel and headed for the door.
Bailen took my hand and kissed me on the cheek before I could twist away.
Seventeen
“What’s an extraction?” I asked once we were back in the barn. The name alone sounded unpleasant.
“We have to take someone’s tracker off-grid. I wish we could do more of these, but they’re risky. Once we find that loophole…” He shook his head as if to say he didn’t want to remember what had happened during their last window. “Want to come?” Bailen asked.
I shrugged. It wasn’t like I had other plans. And if I hung out by myself, I’d sink back into a dark hole and try to sort through the mystery of Jake’s crazed journal entries.
“You can drive if you want.”
I hesitated. “By myself?”
“Sure. You know how to handle the bike. Besides, we don’t have to go far.”
“Okay.” I smiled, not sure if I was happy for another distraction or something that would keep Peyton off my back about what she’d just witnessed. She kept staring at me like an animal playing with its dinner.
I grabbed Jake’s bike—no, not Jake’s, my bike. I shoved my head into my helmet and climbed on. “Where to?”
“You can follow me.” Bailen started his green bike.
I swallowed to calm my shaky nerves—alone on the bike and no tracker to navigate. As if I didn’t have enough on my mind already.
My bike hummed beneath me. I shifted into first gear, proud of myself for getting it right on the first try. Jeremy climbed out of the trap door with two large boxes. He fixed one to Bailen’s bike and the second to his before starting it. Bailen secured his helmet and pulled out of the barn. I took off behind him, my gut twisting. It was a lot easier with someone else on the bike.
Ahead of me, Bailen launched into the air. I switched on the flying mechanism and headed skyward. We flew close to each other, so close, I could almost reach out and touch the others. Almost. One wrong move, and I could take out the whole formation. The thought frazzled my nerves more.
In my head, I repeated the step-by-step process of shifting gears and flying the bike, while keeping an eye on Bailen’s path. We swooped around a couple of buildings, headed for a familiar gray-bricked building in midtown. Bailen circled the roof, then landed. I put my bike down next to his. Of all the rooftops in the Central West End, I was surprised to be on that one. I’d been there hundreds of times—with Harlow.
We used to hang out on the roof gazing at the stars or watching the bikes fly in the nearby city. It was the one place we’d gotten some alone time. A pang of regret filled me. I’d messed everything up. And being there couldn’t be a coincidence.
The guys opened their black cases, pulled out large knives, and affixed them to their belts. They slammed the cases shut without a word. I guessed we weren’t taking any chances. But what was a knife against another bomb going off? I blocked every thought surrounding that night out of my head.
We took the roof access to the stairs. As we continued down, my heart quickened. We stopped on the fifty-second floor. The floor Harlow lived on. The thought of seeing him again brought butterflies to my stomach, but not the first-kiss kind of butterflies—angry, psychotic butterflies. I wanted more than anything to see him, to know he was okay. But a run-in with Harlow would mean telling him what I’d done. It would have been a happy reunion if I hadn’t been so stupid.
Bailen swung open the d
oor and turned left. My heart sank—the opposite direction of Harlow’s place. We weren’t here for him. Who were we here for?
Three doors down, Bailen knocked softly. After a few moments, the door cracked open. A young girl peeked out beneath a gold chain.
“Bailen?” The voice sounded hesitant.
“Yes, it’s me. Do you remember your Uncle Dave said we’d be by? Is he here?”
“No.” The door closed with a quick click.
“She wasn’t supposed to be alone. Dave promised her mother he’d take care of her right before she…” Bailen trailed off, the words understood by everyone. “We promised we’d take her off-grid, even though we don’t normally for kids this young. The Ghosts owe it to her.”
“That jerk is probably gambling again,” Peyton said.
“Hey, it’s got to be tough for the guy. He didn’t want to be a dad, but he got stuck doing it. Death creates difficult circumstances,” Jeremy said.
Bailen’s focus flicked to me, as if he were checking my reaction to the word death. It was quickly becoming clear the Ghosts dealt with it a lot, and I’d have to as well. But it didn’t make it any easier.
Peyton crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, we shouldn’t have let him join the Ghosts. I don’t care how much his sister insisted.”
“Now that he’s in, it’s not like we can remove him. He knows too much,” Jeremy said.
Peyton slammed her fist into her palm. “I’d like to pound his face in for leaving his niece here alone.”
After a jingling sound, the door swung open. A thin, brown-haired girl stood in the threshold of the dimly lit apartment.
Bailen squatted so he was eye-level with the girl. “Can we come in?”
She nodded, causing her tangled hair to flop in her face.
Bailen stepped inside and waved us in. Jeremy placed his case on the coffee table in the living room. He pulled out small boxes and wires. Bailen set up a small portable computer.
I turned from the flurry of activity to the shaking girl. I felt bad for her. “What’s your name?”
“Em-Emily,” she whispered.
“Hi, Emily, I’m Kaya,” I said. “Are you scared?”
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