by Octavia Kore
“Yes.”
Ky nodded. “Good.” With the needle in one hand, Ky used the other to grab the chair, swinging it with all of her might at the glass vials and tubes that sat on top of the tables, knocking them to the floor, smashing them and sending the liquid within them flying across the room. Her tail slid away from Esme’s leg as she stalked toward the drawers, pulling all of them open and throwing every single tube and container on the floor, breaking them open.
She could hear Esme gasp when Xuvri shouted for her to stop, but she wasn’t finished just yet. There, on one the last shelves, sat a box lined with rows of the same things Xuvri had used to stab himself. The black liquid in the vials gleamed in the dim lights, and she looked up at their male, her gaze locked on his as she lifted the box. “This is how you keep us.”
“Stop!” Xuvri shouted just as Ky threw what was left on the ground, spilling the black liquid at his feet. “What have you done?” he asked, his eyes wide as if he couldn’t believe she’d destroyed all of them. His chest heaved and he took a step toward her, but she refused to be cowed.
“I protected my family,” she hissed. Let him be angry, let him hate her for this, but she would never regret her decision. Ky pushed past Xuvri and when she reached Esme, she looked up to see a very confused and concerned Trakseer in the doorway with Eina cradled in his arms. “Does your offer to return to the village still stand?” she asked the other male.
“Of course,” Trakseer said, his eyes bouncing between Ky and Xuvri before landing on Esme. “What is happening––“
“We will leave today then.”
“Like gleck we will! I am your male––“
“You are a sire! You are our mate! You will do what is best for your family, and you will do it without that poison!”
Xuvri recoiled as if Ky had struck him. A part of her hated the thought that she’d upset him, that she lost her temper and destroyed things instead of remaining calm as she normally did, but this was her family.
Ky took Esme’s face into her hands. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Esme said, her eyes straying toward Xuvri, who remained silent. “Thank you.”
Ky leaned down and pressed her lips to Esme’s forehead. “I made a promise, and I will always protect you.”
Chapter 19
Xuvri
Mine.
Take.
Chase.
Claim.
Xuvri frowned as he shook away the darkness that intruded on his mind. These thoughts were not his own, not in the way he’d always thought they were. Ky said the injections changed him and he was starting to think she might not be wrong. The voice had been part of him for so long that he’d stopped questioning it at some point.
The need he’d felt on the ship still raged, coursing through his body like water moving over soft soil. It charted a new path every time he tried to stop it, attempting to eat away at his resolve. His body felt primed, like rapids set to consume anything and everything that got in their way.
That isn’t what they want, he told himself as his gaze swept over his females’ backs. They don’t want the darkness. It scares them.
The air in this part of the forest was humid and moisture clung to Xuvri’s plating as he moved through the trees behind his females. He scanned the area, looking and listening for any sign of danger that might be lurking within the underbrush. Or the underbrush itself, he thought, remembering the massive carnivorous plant Trakseer pointed out earlier in the day.
They are out there.
They want what is yours!
Xuvri narrowed his eyes on the chieftain’s back in annoyance. There were other males in the forest with them, just out of his sight, but he knew they were there. There was no doubt in his mind they were the same hunters who had come with Trakseer, and he wondered if they’d stayed close to the ship.
They want my females.
He would kill them, tear every single one of them limb from limb if they ever tried to take what was his. The darkness within Xuvri’s mind bubbled like hot, searing tar, blacking out any light there might be inside of him.
The wounds on his chest and face stung, his movements pulling at them and reminding him of just how he got them. They were his punishment, his constant reminder of the horrible things he’d done. The darkness within him hissed, hating that Xuvri dared to admit he was wrong.
Weakness.
Xuvri’s face and chest hadn’t ached this much since waking up on the ship. They begged him to stop, to rest, but he knew better than to give into that. “The only males who give into the pain are those who wish for rebirth,” one of the older, more seasoned males had sneered at him once. Whether it was in this life or one of the previous lives, Xuvri could no longer remember, but the words still stuck with him. He would not make himself an easy target. He would not allow these other males to get the upper hand.
Trakseer glanced over his shoulder at Xuvri as if he could sense his dark mood. The other male’s brow ridge furrowed before he turned around, and Xuvri snarled at his back. Ky and Esme trusted this male, but Xuvri was still unsure. What if the darkness was right? What if Trakseer was leading them into a trap? Xuvri’s gaze fell on Ky, and he had to suppress a growl. She was fertile now. What if they wanted her back so that they could breed her themselves?
“Xuvri?”
The sound of Esme’s voice broke through his thoughts and he stumbled, stopping short. There was uncertainty in her voice, a weariness that set him on edge. He hated that he was the cause of it. Her mind brushed against his, probing gently. Xuvri wasn’t sure if his female did this consciously or not, or if she even knew how to control it yet. She had a habit of invading his mind, and since he normally didn’t fight her, Xuvri allowed Esme a glimpse of what he was feeling. His little human’s eyes widened dramatically, and she stumbled into Ky’s back as she retreated.
“Are you okay?” Ky asked, her fushori flashing as she reached out and grabbed Esme’s arm to steady her. “What is it?”
“Nothing… I just—” A soft whimper from the sling Esme wore interrupted her, becoming louder until it was a full-out cry. “Oh, I’m sorry, baby,” Esme cooed.
She barely had the sling open before Xuvri was reaching inside to scoop his wailing offspring out and into his arms. It still amazed him that someone so very small could make him feel so strongly. Xuvri lifted Eina up, careful to avoid scratching her delicate skin with his claws as he laid her against his chest. With her head resting on his shoulder and her small hand curled comfortingly around one of his xines, Xuvri felt the tension leave his body.
“Little warrior,” he murmured, forcing air through his crest so that a low rattle filled the air. Eina’s fussing quieted, and she blinked up at him with curious red eyes. There was nothing in that gaze but love and trust, and that realization shocked him. Although she was young, his offspring was sensitive to the emotions of her dams. He had no doubt that she could feel the turmoil raging inside of him… and yet Eina trusted him.
Like storm clouds parting for the sun, Xuvri felt the darkness give way to the light she brought into his heart. He’d spent so long trying not to become attached, trying to be present and somehow remain distant, but there was little chance Xuvri could continue that now. With his hand supporting Eina’s bottom, Xuvri turned to see his females staring up at him, their expressions a mixture of curiosity and confusion.
“Do you want to put her back in the sling?” Esme asked.
“No,” Xuvri assured her and Ky glanced sideways at their mate before her eyes cut to his face. He knew she was still upset with him,. “We can continue,” he said, jerking his chin toward Trakseer, who had stopped to wait for them.
They pushed forward, cutting their way through some of the tougher brush and the hard, spiked plant life that grew around many of the large trees. There was an abundance of animals in the canopies above them, and for the first time since coming to Venora, Xuvri felt like he was really experiencing the planet. Calls filled the air
as winged creatures soared between trees, their feathers as dark as the twisted trunks they perched on.
It had been lifetimes since he’d actually been on a planet long enough to enjoy it, and he’d forgotten the sense of freedom and calm it brought. The Grutex might live on ships now, but something within Xuvri told him that wasn’t always the case. Being here, being among the trees and animals felt… right. It was like being at home, but he supposed anywhere could feel like that so long as he had Eina and his mates with him.
Ky helped Esme around some of the larger boulders, their hands clasped together as they followed the chieftain deeper into the forest. The first time Xuvri visited the village was a blur. The memory of it was shrouded in darkness now, but he could recall the crowded streets and the way it agitated him. So many males… so many rivals.
Would he have to worry about protecting his mates there? Would he have to be on guard constantly once they reached this village? Xuvri felt like he was big enough to deter most challengers, but he would take on every male there if he needed to. Ky and Esme were his.
Mine.
Claim.
Xuvri rubbed his thumb over Eina’s back, trying his best to remain centered and keep the darkness at bay. The shame he felt over what he’d done to Esme on the ship still ate at him. He’d pushed himself on her, even after he’d promised to let her lead. The darkness wanted her, wanted to chase and claim her. It wanted his scent on her so that, like Ky, everyone knew who Esme belonged to. The only way anyone would know she was mated would be if they saw her undressed, and Xuvri would kill anyone other than Ky who got that far.
There was still a part of him, something separate from the darkness, that wanted to rut her over and over, to fill her so completely that she permanently carried his scent, but she wasn’t ready, and if he kept pushing, she never would be. Eina wriggled against him as if his thoughts were disturbing her.
Settle, little warrior, he thought with a grin as he patted his offspring’s back, being mindful of her fragile wings.
When he’d left the Kaia’s ship for the last time, Xuvri would have never guessed he was going to encounter his true mate, let alone two. At one point in his life, he’d thought he could be content with the deal he and Laurie had struck, that he could find some sort of peace with the offspring the two of them created, not for the Kaia, but for himself. Now though, after having met his females, Xuvri knew he would have never been complete.
Up ahead, Esme stumbled over something protruding from the ground, and Xuvri growled. With such short legs, his little human mate wasn’t made for terrain like this. “Stop,” he called out.
Trakseer turned back with a frown. “Is something wrong?”
“Open the sling,” Xuvri instructed Esme when he reached them. Once Eina was safely cradled within the fabric, Xuvri swept both of them up into his arms. “We’re ready.”
“Seriously? You’re just going to carry us the rest of the way?” Esme asked indignantly.
“If I need to.”
Esme rolled her eyes. “You can’t do that, Xuvri.”
“Watch me.” He grumbled as Ky fell into step at his side.
There was something so right about being with them like this, but it was a rightness that he wasn’t sure he actually deserved anymore. With the darkness looming within him, was he more of a threat to them than anything else? They needed a male who was strong, who wouldn’t leave them fearful, who would stand with them for the rest of their lives, and he wanted so badly to be that.
Maybe he didn’t deserve them, maybe fate had gotten this wrong, but Xuvri was a selfish male and he would never let them go. Xuvri would protect his family from anything, would give his life for them knowing this was his last. There would be no rebirth this time, no way to come back and try again. This was it, and he was going to live.
Kythea
Walking through the forest with an angry, overprotective Grutex looming over them was about as far from Ky’s idea of fun as it got. He paced and growled anytime they stopped to feed Eina, and when they finally made it to the gates of the village, Ky felt like she was standing next to a wild animal. Some of the more curious members of the tribe approached their small group, but Trakseer shook his head, warning them off with a look before they could get too close.
“There have been no new homes built since your departure, so I cannot offer anything other than a temporary room in mine, unless…” The chieftain glanced at Ky. “Your family home has remained empty. We hoped you all might return one day.”
“I think being there, in a space of our own instead of your home, may be better for all of us.” Ky nearly laughed at the relief on Trakseer’s face. He’d already had to live with all of them on the ship during her sleep, and she was certain he was looking forward to not being confined with her large, grumbling mate.
It felt like a lifetime since she was last in the streets of the village, but seeing the home she’d grown up in was bittersweet. Her mitera had filled the place with such love and life despite her struggles, and seeing it now, so quiet and empty, broke her heart.
“Trakseer!”
Ky turned to see Inara rushing down the street toward them, her golden eyes taking in the scene before her. The seamstress glanced up at Xuvri and came to a stumbling stop a short distance away.
“Give me just a moment,” Trakseer said with a heavy sigh as he stepped away from their group.
While Ky liked Inara, and had even considered her a friend, the female was a gossip, and she wondered what sorts of rumors she would be hearing about her male soon. Ky glanced up at Xuvri, trying not for the first time to get a read on him. He was getting better at keeping her out, but she didn’t need her gift to know that something was bothering him.
“Are you all right, Xuvri?” she asked, hoping he would speak up while they had a moment alone.
His eyes strayed over to Trakseer, and she felt like her suspicions were confirmed. There was something here that he wished to speak about, but he didn’t want to say it in front of the other male. The look on his face set her on edge. What could be on his mind that he was working so hard to keep from them? Ky wanted to reach out to him, to create a physical connection with him so he knew she wasn’t going to let him feel this on his own, but something told her to wait.
“I feel…” Xuvri snapped his jaw shut for a moment, the muscle on either side ticking before he huffed. “I feel like I don’t deserve this.” He gestured at her and Esme before dropping his hand at his side.
Ky frowned up at him. “Why is that?” Had something she said on the ship gotten to him?
“What if I am not capable of protecting you without the injections? What if I don’t have the strength to keep you safe?”
He was being open and vulnerable with them. Ky repressed the urge to try to read his emotions. If his behavior was any indication, these feelings may be something he wasn’t prepared to share, and Ky wanted to give him the same privacy she expected.
Xuvri reached up to comb his fingers through his xines, tugging on them as he shifted in front of them. “It would have been better for all of you if I wasn’t your mate; if I hadn’t ever woken up.”
Esme gasped at her side. “Xuvri.”
“It would have been better?” Ky asked, the words forming slowly on her tongue as if she were having a hard time saying them. How could he think this?
“Why would you think that?” Esme asked, the same pain Ky was feeling reflected in her eyes.
“We are better off without the poison your people gave you, better without the dangerous male it transforms you into, but we are not better off without you.” Her heart ached at the thought that her words might have caused this seed of doubt to grow in his mind. “Even if we wanted to, there could never be another mate for us. Never.”
“No.” It was more growl than it was word, and Xuvri stepped close, his chest nearly brushing her own. “No one else will ever touch what belongs to me.”
Ky felt Esme’s hand slip into hers, and s
he squeezed, drawing strength from their connection. “Better without the poison,” she repeated. “Not better without you.”
“I apologize,” Trakseer said as he approached them. “Apparently, there has been some sort of fabric crisis while I was away, and Inara needed—” His gaze darted from one face to another. “Have I missed something?”
Goddess above, their chieftain had incredibly bad timing. “Nothing for you to worry about.” Ky pushed the gate open and stepped into the courtyard, followed closely by Esme and Xuvri. Looking around at the overgrown gardens and the things they'd left behind when they departed with Zar that day months ago, Ky felt sorrow bloom within her chest. She missed them, and no one, not her mitera, her sire, or Zar would be here for them. All they had right now was one another.
Xuvri’s growl danced over Ky’s body as he rushed to get in front of her, blocking her entrance into the home. “You don’t know if it’s safe in there. I’ll go in first.”
Ky frowned at his back, but didn’t say anything. If he wanted to play the concerned mate after the way he’d acted on the ship, then she would let him, but she knew there was nothing in the home aside from old memories and shattered dreams.
Am I ready to go back in there? she asked herself as Xuvri stepped inside. Am I ready to face all of the emotions we left behind?
“Are you okay?”
Ky felt Esme grab her hand again, and she looked down to see their female watching her with a frown. She should have known that her sensitive little mate would have guessed something was wrong, that she was having trouble coming back here.
“We left here in such a rush,” Ky told Esme, squeezing the female’s hand as she looked back up at the outer wall of her home. “There was no time to really process what we were leaving behind.”
“I understand that,” Esme said with a soft smile. “It’s okay to take it slow. There’s no rush now that we’re here.”
Hadn’t she longed to be back, to feel closer to Una and her people? Why was she suddenly so unsure? “Would you…” Ky shifted nervously. “I know we just arrived, but I would like to take a moment to visit the temple, to speak with Una.”
