by Natalie Ann
Who would have thought being back here would give him the strength to work harder than when he was in the city he’d thought he loved so much.
And that strength meant he could go do something else he’d yet to do since he’d been here. He could go visit his mother. Go back to the house he hated so much when they relocated.
He bundled up in his parka and hat, grabbed his gloves, and went out to the garage. The short drive didn’t even allow for the heat to fully blast in his SUV, but he was glad when he pulled in and noticed that Bob’s truck wasn’t there. He hoped his mother was home, now that he thought of it though.
He parked and got out, walked up the front sidewalk, noting that salt had been thrown to keep it clear. He should probably pick some up himself rather than going outside and shoveling every day, but he was considering it therapy of sorts.
He rang the bell and waited a second, then heard his mother shout she was coming. “Matt, honey, what are you doing here? Come on in out of the cold.”
“I just wanted to get out of the house. I thought I’d come and visit with you.”
“Definitely. Can I get you some coffee? I made cookies earlier. Peanut butter ones.”
“Both sound good. Where’s Bob?”
“He went to get some wood. We’re running low. It’s been a colder winter than normal.”
“Figures,” he mumbled.
“It adds to the atmosphere here.”
He rolled his eyes, but hung his jacket up just the same and followed her to the kitchen. There weren’t any feelings of remorse or regret as he made his way through the house like he’d felt the last time he visited a few years ago.
It’d been hard to be here just for a few days, terrified he’d run into Dena. Even lying in his old room and thinking of the times they’d been on his bed together. Sometimes studying, but more often than not fooling around.
“If you say so,” he said, sitting at the kitchen table. The house hadn’t changed much since he was a kid, with the exception of the walls that always suffocated him seemed to be gone.
She brought over his coffee and the creamer with the plate of cookies. “So how are you feeling? You look good. You’re not limping as much. You even seem to have put some weight back on.”
He hadn’t realized she was paying that close of attention to him. They’d gone out to dinner once since he was back, the night of Dena’s birthday, but she’d stopped over to see him a few times a week, often bringing him food and being overly motherly.
He needed that more than he thought he did too.
“I feel good. A lot stronger than when I got here a few weeks ago. And yes, I’ve put weight on. Not much, but enough I don’t look so sickly now.”
“You’ve never been sickly looking, Matt.”
He didn’t agree. He’d looked in the mirror a lot the past six months and didn’t like what he saw. Someone he didn’t recognize. Someone not so confident like he’d thought he’d been.
“Just not what I was used to seeing then,” he said, sipping his coffee and helping himself to a cookie.
“How is work going? Are you staying busy?”
She always asked about his job. She’d always been in his corner and proud of him, even when he wasn’t so proud of it himself.
“I’m staying busy. Lots of desk work. It’s nice to take the breaks and get up and work out and stretch.”
“Randall is working with you then,” she asked, her eyebrows lifted. “He’s not giving you a hard time about taking this break?”
“It’s not really a break like you think. I’ve been working a lot of hours and doing what he gives me.”
“Yet you don’t sound very happy about it. Are you going to tell me what is really going on there?”
He should have realized that she would have read between the lines, would have known there was more to the situation. “I’m not sure myself what is going on.”
“That’s not true and you know it,” she said. “Randall’s always been a cocky ass. I’m sure as an adult he’s learned to puff his chest out more and strut like a proud peacock thinking he was so pretty with sparkling white veneers filling his mouth when we all know his soul is ugly as sin.”
There was no holding the snort back. His mother described Randall well. “You never liked him.”
“Nope. Him or his snotty mother and cheating father or stuck-up siblings. Not sure what your father saw in Randall’s mother, but that’s his problem. Have you talked to your father lately?”
His parents didn’t have a nice divorce, but they made do for Matt’s sake. He supposed he should be thankful for that, but his father had changed when he met his new wife and took on the role of being Colleen’s kids’ dad and not his.
“Last week for a few minutes. He wanted to know how I was doing and when I was coming home.”
“Really?” his mother asked, scoffing.
“I’m sure it was just something to talk about,” he said.
“Probably. So back to Randall. Do you plan on continuing this way?”
“What way?” he asked.
“Working long distance. Or are you going back? I was kind of hoping you’d come here and stay. Maybe reconnect with old friends.”
“Dena?” he asked, reading between the lines. She’d been his closest friend along with the love of his life. He’d never kept in contact with anyone else once he left.
“Maybe.”
“She won’t leave, so I think it might mean I’m staying if she’ll have me.”
His mother’s smile lit up the breakfast nook they were sitting in. “So you’ve talked to her?” she asked.
“I have. We’ve had a few dates; I guess you could call them that.”
“And she’s going to give you a chance to redeem the ass you made of yourself?”
He started to cough on the cookie he’d bit into. So much for thinking his mother would be on his side.
“I guess. Maybe. I hope so at least. She’s pretty busy at work so we haven’t seen each other in over a week. I’m hoping we can find time after the weekend though.”
“She was always a good girl. I loved her.”
“You aren’t alone,” he said.
“Why did you do it?” his mother asked. She never had before. He knew she didn’t approve of what he’d done or how he’d gone about it. He hadn’t approved of himself either.
“It seemed like the thing to do. I had all these dreams and plans and she didn’t want any part of them.”
“You were both so young to even be thinking that far in the future. She’s to blame for that too. I don’t want you to think it all falls on your shoulders, but the bulk of the weight does. You both wasted so many years.”
“I agree. I guess we’ll have to see if it works out the way I want now.”
“What does she want?” his mother asked. “This has to be about her too, not just you. Don’t be selfish.”
Again, his mother pulled no punches. “She wants some kind of closure. Whether that means it works for us or not, she isn’t willing to close off the possibility to either. But I don’t think she has any intention of leaving Lake Placid.”
“Could you be content to stay here?” she asked.
“I think I could. I think I focused on all the wrong things and I’m not going to get them anyway.”
“What does that mean?” she asked. “You were well on your way to partner. Are you thinking you want to go out on your own now?”
“A partner with Randall isn’t in the future. He made that clear months ago.”
“Because you aren’t his full relation? Just a stepbrother and not worthy in his prick of a father’s eyes?”
He loved the anger in his mother’s eyes. “That about sums it up and I’d appreciate that we keep that between us. I don’t want Dena to know and to think I’m only here because I couldn’t get what I wanted there. That Randall controlled more of my life than he already did.”
“I don’t think it’s wise to keep it from her.”
<
br /> “It’s not the time right now to even say anything. And the truth is, it’s not the life I’d thought it’d be. I want my own cases. I want to do my own thing and not be assigned stuff. That’s why I wanted to be a partner, so I could pick my own cases, not wait to be handed off things that no one else wanted.”
“Lake Placid could always use an attorney. You know that. You could open your own firm if you want.”
“So you’ve said before. I’ll think about it, but for now, I’ve got a job that pays well and time to make those decisions. What I really need to focus on is Dena and that’s what I’m going to do.”
“Then you’re finally prioritizing things the way they should be.”
To Impress You
“Let’s go ice skating,” Matt said.
Dena looked over and frowned at him. He had to be nuts. “Let’s not.” Was he stupid? She still didn’t know the overall extent of his injuries other than the few conversations they’d had. She had a feeling he was keeping things to himself out of fear she’d pity him. “I don’t feel like patching you up when you fall because we know ice skating has never been your thing.”
“But you always loved it,” he said back, tugging on a lock of her hair.
It was Saturday afternoon and she was at his house. They were making plans to do something for the day now that she wasn’t on call. Those plans were just hard to come by unless they wanted to keep going out to eat. It kind of felt like when they were teens and had no money and just hung out at the house. Now they had money, but this time of year didn’t lend itself to many activities when one of you didn’t enjoy the cold.
“I did,” she said. “I have to admit I haven’t skated in years. It’s not like I did more than put skates on and move around the rink, but it was fun. A hobby more than anything else.”
She’d never wanted to compete, never had any desire to do more than go hang with friends. Probably nothing more than a bunch of guys shooting hoops at the park if she thought about it.
“Come on,” he said. “I’ve gotten better than the first time you took me.”
She shook her head, not even bothering to hold back the laugh that was dying to escape. “I’ll never forget that first time we went. You acted all macho like you had this. Funniest sight I’ve ever seen. Your arms flapping around like a panicked chicken on a farm with a butcher knife coming in your direction for Sunday dinner. Then down you went. I bet the redness of your ass matched your face that day.”
This time he burst out laughing. “My pride took a hit. I was trying so hard to impress you.”
She’d missed that laugh of his. The one that was so carefree, that he only seemed to show to her. This past week she’d wanted to call him, to go see him. To do anything to make sure that he was still close by. But she didn’t. She kept her distance with a few texts.
Knowing he was so close kept the missing of him at bay...kind of...as long as he stayed. And she wasn’t convinced he was going to.
“You failed. But you did make me laugh and you got back up and you kept at it even though you fell a few more times. Determination. You’ve always had that.”
“And I always will,” he said. “How about we go to the rink with some warm coffee and popcorn and watch other people flap around like panicked chickens?”
“You know, that actually sounds like fun. Are you sure you want to go stand outside?”
“It’s not that bad out today. The sun is shining and the wind isn’t horrible. I think having a nice warm coffee in our hands and body will help. Then again, maybe that bright smile of yours will be enough to keep me warm.”
“I don’t remember you being this smooth before,” she said. She wasn’t sure she liked it either. Maybe he’d been practicing his skills with other women over the years and she was getting the leftovers.
Then she had to remind herself to get over it. They’d been split for over twelve years. They’d each dated other people. They’d each learned new things and mastered new ways of being with a significant other. Even with their history, they were still starting fresh.
“People change,” he said.
She nodded her head, knowing he was one hundred percent correct.
***
Matt couldn’t get over how much fun he was having right now.
Sure, he was cold, but it wasn’t that bad. He had on fleece lined jeans, thick socks and warm boots, a thermal parka and a hat on his head. Coffee was keeping his fingers warm even through his gloves.
Dena was dressed the same as him. Well, jeans, he doubted they were flannel lined because she wasn’t as much of a wuss as him it seemed. She had a cute red hat on her head, her dirty blonde hair flowing out of it. Her coffee was between both her hands, cupping it while she took a sip and her eyes were taking in the action.
“Look at that kid over there trying to impress his date. Who does that look like?” she asked.
He glanced over at the young preteen with a girl, trying to speed up and move around, show off more or less. Yeah, it looked familiar. “It took me all winter to get to that point.”
“It did. You ended up beating me before spring every time we raced.”
“You didn’t like racing anyway. You just wanted to twirl around and weave in and out holding my hand.”
“Very true. It’s romantic to hold your date’s hand. Kind of like roller-skating in the eighties under disco balls and flashing lights.”
“Way before our time,” he said, “but I understand the thought process.” And because he was willing to take that risk, he moved his hand over and pulled one of hers off her cup and threaded their fingers together. It didn’t matter they both had gloves on; it still felt right. Felt young. Felt like they were kids again. “Nice and romantic, just like you said.”
She rolled her eyes. “Let’s go walk over there and check out the couple putting their skates on on the bench.”
“The older couple?” he asked, his eyes moving to the other end.
“Yeah. Look at that. Isn’t that sweet? I know her and she talks about her husband all the time, and there they are ice skating like a couple of teens.”
He followed her down and stopped in front of the man and woman. He realized they didn’t seem as old as he’d thought now that he was up close. Maybe in their sixties, but moving better than him at the moment.
“Hi, Holly.”
“Dena, sweetie. How are you doing?”
“I’m good. And is this Pete that I hear so much about?” Dena asked, reaching her hand out to Holly’s husband.
“Yes, this is Pete. He’s indulging me in a little bit of skating today. I told him your handy work makes me look like I’m forty and I wanted to feel that way.”
“Not a day over thirty-five,” Dena said, laughing.
“You’re a sweetie for saying that, but the truth is, I don’t want to look silly, I just want to look good for my age.”
Matt was looking at Holly and he really had no idea how old she was up close. Her hair was whitish blonde, and not really white like he thought. Her husband on the other hand didn’t have much hair at all, and had a lot more wrinkles than his wife.
“You look beautiful regardless of your age,” Pete said. “And if Dena doesn’t stop it, everyone is going to think I’m robbing the cradle.”
“Or you can come in for a bit of work, Pete,” Dena said, winking.
“I’ll leave that to my wife, thank you very much. But I will thank you for making her look stunning, even though I tell her she doesn’t need it.”
“Isn’t he just the sweetest thing?” Holly asked, leaning over and kissing Pete on the cheek. “Are you going to introduce me to your friend?”
“Holly, this is Matt.” She hesitated like she wanted to add more, but then didn’t.
He wasn’t going to be hurt by that. It’s not like he would even know what she’d say. My ex? The man who left my heart bleeding on the playground years ago? No, it was best to take it with a grain of salt.
“Nice to meet you
,” he said, shaking both of their hands.
Dena and he walked away to the other side, still holding hands. There was a comfort in that now that he didn’t remember feeling when he was younger. “She’s a sweet lady.”
“I have no clue how old she is. I thought in her sixties when I was looking at her husband, but now I’ve got no idea.”
She laughed. “I told you we are good at what we do. But yes, I don’t know her exact age, though I would put her somewhere in her early sixties. She just recently retired.”
“You’re thinking right now,” he said. “Tell me.”
“I used to think that would be us one day.”
His heart started to race. “It can be. Nothing is stopping it.”
“We’ll see.”
“How we get to the end doesn’t change the fact that I still want to get there with you, Dena. I’m going to keep telling you that until you believe it.”
“I believe you want to believe it.”
“I want you to believe it too.”
“Maybe I’ll get there someday.”
Tongues Wagging
“So now what?” Dena asked. They’d been walking around the rink for about an hour. She’d seen two patients and two friends. It was a small area and hard to avoid people she knew.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
“Not really. The coffee filled me up for the moment. It’s only three. Still too early for dinner. What about you?” she asked.
“I’m fine. I can wait. Want to walk down Main Street and play tourist?”
“I can’t tell you the last time I did that. Sure,” she said, “why not?”
They went back to his car and drove to the public parking, got out and made their way down the main street, strolling in and out of shops. Neither of them was really buying anything, but it was fun to check things out. Even people watch.
The thing with that was, they ran into more people they knew. She was starting to wonder if he’d planned this on purpose. If being seen out in public like this by so many would get tongues wagging.
