by Natalie Ann
He cracked a grin. “Sure, we could have done that too.”
“Rest now, Matt. We’ve got time for your other plans. I’m not going anywhere.”
Knocking Myself Silly
On Sunday morning, Matt was trying to fight back the embarrassment of having to be taken care of by Dena. Even when he was recovering from his accident he hated having anyone come in and care for him.
His father had stopped over often, the same with his stepmother. Even Randall and his younger step siblings. They’d all come to help him out as needed.
No one stayed long, but they were helpful. They’d gotten his food, they brought him meals. He already had a housekeeper coming in once a week and she took up a few more duties like running errands for him. He’d managed on his own just fine after his mother had left.
She’d come to town right after he was discharged and stayed in the guest room for almost two weeks. There weren’t many visitors at that point and only when his mother was out of the apartment. His father and Randall really, but they were short and sweet while he was trying to recover and get off the pain meds. Those weeks in the hospital had worn him out and weakened him more than he’d ever want to feel again.
The damn flu felt like it knocked him back just as far.
But no one took care of him the way Dena had yesterday and into the night.
Thankfully he managed to keep his food down. Then again, she’d written a script for anti nausea meds too and that helped a ton. The chicken soup warmed his belly in a good way, not one that threatened to make him toss his cookies.
Her gentle hands on his head feeling for a temperature was something he couldn’t even remember his own mother doing as a child.
How could he have ever thought he didn’t belong with this woman?
“Hey,” Dena said when he walked into the kitchen. She was sitting at the table drinking some coffee. “How are you feeling? I heard the water running so figured you were good enough for a shower.”
“I didn’t want to come downstairs stinking. I would have taken a shower last night, but I remember you telling me I couldn’t.”
“It was best that you didn’t,” she said. “I think your fever has finally broken though.”
“Yeah. My body doesn’t hurt nearly as bad. Just a dull ache. My stomach still smarts, but I think it’s more the muscles than anything else.”
“Most likely. Do you feel like some toast or eggs?”
“The coffee smells great,” he said going for the pot.
“I wouldn’t, but it’s your body and you know what you can handle.”
He ignored her and prepared the cup, then went to sit down. “I’ll see how it feels.”
She nodded and stood up. “Toast will help too.”
“You don’t have to wait on me,” he said.
“I don’t have to, but I want to. You were pretty sick and you were doing a lot of mumbling in your sleep about not being able to fulfill some promises. I found myself intrigued enough to get you better faster.”
He was trying to think back to what he might have said in his sleep and really had no idea. The way she was smiling at him, she was probably just busting his ass.
“Sorry this weekend is kind of a bust. It kills me to say I’m not even sure I could take you to bed right now.”
She burst out laughing. “Do you know, I’m not sure there is a guy on the face of this earth that would have ever admitted that.”
He blushed. Or he hoped that’s what the heat was filling his face and not the fact that he was going to get sick again. “Just being honest.”
“I know. It’s a good thing too.”
“You don’t have to waste your day here with me. I’m sure you’ve got stuff you could be doing.”
“I won’t stay too long. I do have some things to do, but I thought since you were up I’d go grab your sheets off the bed and at least start the laundry for you.”
He’d thrown it out there for her to leave as the polite thing to do, but hadn’t really expected her to say she was going. “So what do you have planned for today?” he asked.
“Nothing major. I ordered some new curtains that I want to get hung up and do a bit of cleaning. During the week I’m too tired to deal with it.”
“I could come help you,” he said.
“We don’t need to play house. Nor do I want to worry you’re going to fall and hurt yourself because you’re dizzy.”
“Wow. Admit that I’m not up for sex and now I can’t even hang a curtain without stumbling over my two feet and knocking myself silly.” Now he was offended.
“Sorry. It was too hard to resist. But I do have some things I’ve got to get done. I had planned on being home no later than noon regardless of your plans being spoiled this weekend.”
“When will I see you again?” he asked.
“We can do dinner one night this week if you want. Maybe we can finish your plans up next weekend?”
“If I can wait that long,” he said.
“I’m sure you’ll be fine. Now I’m going to go up and get your sheets and your laundry started.”
He watched her walk out of the room and thought to himself all the times he envisioned them having breakfast together over the years. He’d never admit that to her, but it wasn’t just in the past year that he knew he needed to come back to her. He’d known for years, but could never work up the courage to admit how wrong he was.
***
Dena was ready to scream when she heard the knock at her door. She’d been trying to get things done in her apartment for two hours and if her phone wasn’t going off with text messages from either Matt saying he missed her, then it was Amber or Rene asking how her night went. By the time she finished telling them she played nursemaid and not in a fun way, she was nowhere near getting everything accomplished she’d hoped for.
She went to the front door and pulled it open to see her neighbor from upstairs standing there. “Sandy,” she said. “Come on in.”
“I won’t stay long, Dena. I was hoping you could help me.”
She didn’t talk to the newlyweds much. Just in passing. They knew what each did for a living, but that was about it.
“Sure. What’s wrong?”
“I can’t get Kyle to go to the doctor. He won’t listen to me that he might need an antibiotic.”
“I’m not a doctor, Sandy. I can’t examine him or really prescribe meds unless he comes into the office.” Even though she did for Matt, but that was different. She knew what was wrong with him and she’d called Max quick to clear it with him first.
“I know. I just was hoping that you’d listen and give your medical opinion and it’d sway him to call the doctor tomorrow.”
“Okay.” She went into medicine to help people, so she couldn’t say no without at least listening to what his symptoms were.
The two of them went upstairs. “Urgh, Sandy,” Kyle said. “You didn’t need to go get Dena. I’m fine.”
Dena smiled. “You probably are, but why don’t you tell me what is going on anyway. I told Sandy I’m not a doctor, but I could narrow down a few things and decide if you should really see your doctor or not.”
Kyle’s face turned red and he looked away. Sandy said, “He says it burns when he pees. And he’s had a pain in his side. More lower back.”
“Show me where,” she said to Kyle.
He pointed to his side, more along his back. “Do you have a history of kidney stones or infections?”
“Not that I’m aware of,” he said.
“Have you been running a fever at all? Any other pain?”
“He had the chills last night,” Sandy said.
“That’s because it’s the middle of the winter,” Kyle argued.
“Pain, a possible fever, and especially burning when you urinate are all things that need to be looked at by your doctor. If you don’t want to make an appointment, the urgent care clinic is open. You can walk right in and someone will see you. If it’s an infection, you’ll kn
ow and they’ll get you started on antibiotics.”
“You can just walk in?” Sandy asked. “No appointments or anything? You don’t have to belong to that group of doctors?”
“Nope. It’s better than the ER. It’s not an emergency, but you do need medical attention. Of course, this only my opinion.”
“We appreciate your opinion,” Sandy said. “Kyle, get your jacket, I’m driving your ass there.”
Dena laughed and made her way back to her apartment. She liked Sandy and Kyle. They were a cute couple in love. Sandy was only doing what Dena would herself. What she’d kind of done with Matt yesterday.
She guessed when you cared about someone enough, you pushed the embarrassment aside to make sure they were taking care of themselves.
No Return
The following weekend Matt was feeling a hundred percent better. Dena wasn’t on call. And he had plans to throw her on the bed the minute she walked in the door on Friday night.
But she called and asked if he’d be willing to come to her place for dinner and maybe spend the night there.
How could he say no to a request like that?
The minute Dena texted him, he was out the door with a bag over his shoulder. He’d picked up another bottle of wine for them to share too.
He’d barely made it up the stairs before she had the door opened for him. “Hey there, hot stuff,” she said.
He liked the sound of that. He wrapped her up tight and put his lips to hers in a kiss so scorching it felt like they were out on the lake in ninety-degree weather. “Talk about hot stuff.”
She pushed back out of his arms and unzipped his jacket. “I’ve been thinking about this for a week. We haven’t seen much of each other and I find I can’t really wait.”
Damn, they were thinking alike. He set the bottle of wine on the floor, toed off his boots as best he could while she pushed his jacket off his shoulders.
He wasn’t giving her a chance to decide what she wanted or where she wanted to go. He bent down and tossed her over his shoulder and made his way to the couch. “Matt, you’re going to hurt yourself.”
“Nice. And no, I’m not. I’m good as gold.” For the most part. He had pain daily, but it was getting better, he was stronger, and picking up a hundred-and-twenty-pound woman on his shoulder wasn’t going to hurt him in the least.
He tossed her on the couch and leaned back to start taking his clothes off. Normally he wanted to go slow, but the look in her eyes told him he wasn’t going to get that wish. He’d give it to her her way first, then they’d finish his way.
The minute his shirt was over his head, she sat up and started to disrobe herself, clothes sent flying all over the living room.
Once they were naked, they went diving for each other and rolled on the couch. “Crap. Condom.”
He moved back and found his jeans and reached for it in the pocket and felt the heat of her hand slap his ass. He loved this playful side of her that he’d never expected to see before.
“Get back here. Get on top of me. And get inside of me.”
“Boy, you’re demanding.”
“I’m needy,” she said.
What he heard was she was needy for him. Whether she said it or meant it, he didn’t care, it’s what he wanted it to mean. “Join the club,” he said.
Her legs came up and around his waist as he slid right inside of her, feeling her muscles surrounding him like a soft cloud wrapping him up tight.
She was wet and slick and her hips were moving at a speed he was trying to maintain.
“What’s the rush?” he asked.
“I’m horny. There is always a rush when a woman is horny.”
He’d never realized that before. He’d like to think it was her eagerness to be with him. Yeah, that was what he was telling himself as he slammed into her again and again.
She made him feel things he’d never felt with another woman before. That it wasn’t just about a physical release but an emotional need to be fulfilled.
One leg dropped over the couch, the other around his hips, her nails into his bare cheeks as she moved him at the speed and pressure that she wanted.
He was good with that. He was just fine with her taking control at the moment. Because, like he’d told himself, he was going to be doing it his way later on.
Her mouth went to his neck and she started to suck around his collarbone like she had when they were younger. She used to joke and say she was going to mark him for all to see so they’d know he was taken.
Again, she wasn’t saying words, but her actions were leading him to believe that she was feeling the same as him. That she was falling back in love with him the same way he’d realized he’d never fallen out of love with her.
“Matt,” she said, her voice muffled but rising. “I need it hard. Right now!”
“Shit,” he said, coming on his knees and getting a better angle, then going to town like she’d asked him for. Like she was almost begging him. Yeah, begging is what he wanted to hear.
“Tell me what you want, Dena,” he said.
Words he had to hear. Anything at this point.
“You,” she shouted. “I want you.”
It didn’t matter how she meant them, it was how he took them, and it was enough to send them both tumbling down the road of no return.
***
“Damn, that was one hell of a workout,” Dena said. She was lucky she was able to get her breath back at the moment or even speak.
Sure she’d planned on jumping him the minute he walked in the door, but she hadn’t planned on him picking her up or them going at it quite that fast.
Yep, she was horny like she said, but deep in her heart, she knew she had to keep leading him down a path that kept them at the physical because he was pulling her faster toward the emotional than she was ready to go. But she couldn’t tell him that. Not without hurting him and she didn’t want to do that either.
“Yes, it was. Do you want to do it again?” he asked. “I’ve got my strength all back now.”
“I can see that. But now I think I need some food.”
“I could use some food so that we can go right back at it. Did you ever wonder that when we were younger we’d sneak in sex as much as we could, but now as adults we get it less frequent?”
“I thought of that,” she said. She’d never been that way with another man before. It was frequent like he said, but fast and done. She’d found she’d done that a lot after Matt. That Matt was the only one that showed her any tenderness, and after being hurt, she realized she didn’t want it from anyone.
“I’m not sure what I prefer more. I kind of like these all night marathons and I’m not quite sure I could do them every day. But don’t tell anyone that.”
“That’s what I like about you,” she said, sitting up and then reaching for her clothes. “You’re not afraid to admit any weaknesses.”
“Why bother hiding it?” he said. “You’d see right through it anyway.”
She held his stare, saw the sincerity in his eyes and then stood up to finish getting dressed. “I would. Now you can help me get dinner ready.”
They were both in the kitchen now. Fries were baking in the oven, burgers in a pan on the stovetop, and bacon sizzling in another pan.
“So what do we have right now?” he asked her.
“It looks like the makings of bacon burgers,” she said.
He laughed, but it was forced. “I meant between us. What is this thing we’ve got?”
“You keep wanting to put a label on it. Why?” She knew this conversation would come up again, but she didn’t expect it this soon.
“I’m not asking you to bare your soul. I’m asking you, are we just dating? Are we in a relationship? Am I someone you are using to scratch an itch? I get that you are unsure of things, but it’s not all about you. Maybe I’ve got a lot on the line.”
She crossed her arms. “What do you have on the line?” She knew her tone was short and she wanted to apologize for i
t but held back.
“You’re getting all defensive on me. My heart is on the line this time. It was last time too. And I messed up and you keep telling me to stop apologizing for it and I’m trying to. But damn it, you aren’t the only one that was hurt and I guess I want to know if this is a game to get back at me or not.”
Her face paled. “No. It never crossed my mind and I’m trying not to be hurt that you are even asking me that.”
“Dena. We haven’t talked in years. You’ve made your feelings very clear that you aren’t sure what you want. I get that. I really do. But I’ve told you what I want and I just want to know if I even have a chance at all.”
She owed him that much. “You wouldn’t be here in my kitchen if you didn’t.”
“That’s something at least.”
“I’m sorry I can’t give you more. It’s so hard to get past the pain, but I’m trying. And no, I’ve never used anyone a day in my life and I don’t plan on starting that now.”
“Thanks for answering that. Let’s end the conversation for now. I’ll try not to pressure you and keep asking. It’s hard, but I just want to know and it’s not fair to you to give me answers when you don’t know yourself.”
“That was our problem, Matt. We thought we knew what we wanted. It didn’t work out for either of us. Maybe now we need to not plan it out and see where it takes us.”
“That might be the smartest thing I’ve heard in a long time.”
Serious History
Matt was boarding the plane for the short flight back to New York City. With any luck he’d be home before Dena would even have known he left. He could get away with not answering any texts from her if he had to for a day. It’s not like they texted often during the days anyway. She was normally with patients and he was working too.
They weren’t lovesick teens anymore that had to constantly see each other every waking minute. They weren’t even adults that were just checking in once a day.
Nope, they were two mature adults with some serious history that were tiptoeing around each other while enjoying each other’s company and trying to find a way to make this work.
