A Pocketful of Stardust

by J P Barnaby

  Kyle did a steady business of coffee and pastries. They’d had to roll one of the glass bookcases into the coffee bar to put the pastries on display, but it worked. They sold. Fancy coffee coupled with Miz Parker’s hazelnut-filled turnovers in Aster—who’d have thought it?

  His dad.

  By about six that evening, the steady trickle of people had dried up. Kyle counted down most of his drawer, and Noah did the same. They left some change out in case they had a few last-minute shoppers, but Noah grabbed his Kindle and a leather chair. Kyle pulled out his coloring book and crayons and sat at a table near Noah. They hung out in the coffee bar, quiet and together, waiting for Hope to upend their lives.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  A FARMER’S moon shone down on them as they lay side by side beneath the stars. Jake wallowed in the grass nearby, seemingly unimpressed by the celestial stage. The night had stilled around them as they held hands in the darkness. Noah mused that they’d never be able to do that in New York. First, you couldn’t see the stars for the glow of the city; second, they’d get stepped on… or mugged. But here in Aster, they could lie in the grass and their biggest worry would be mosquitos, though as it neared the end of November, they weren’t much of a problem. Kyle had been quiet the last few days since the interview, and Noah thought maybe lying out here alone would get him to open up.

  “Do you think God is up there?” Kyle asked, breaking the silence. He turned his head to look at Noah, who saw the conflict in his face.

  “I don’t think anyone can know that for sure, but I like to think so. My dad wasn’t real religious, though Miss Edna pushed us to church on Sundays. But I hope my dad is up there like the Bible says.” Noah stroked Kyle’s hand with his thumb.

  “The Bible also says we’re an abomination.” He’d gone still, his hand limp in Noah’s.

  “The Bible is an interpretation written by men and retranslated a million times. People make it out to be the rule of law for Christianity, but really it’s a book of fables. It’s what you believe in your heart that matters. If God is perfect and we’re created in his image, then we’re exactly who he made us to be.” Noah went up on one elbow, looking down at Kyle. He used his free hand to stroke Kyle’s cheek.

  “I’m scared,” he whispered back. “Scared of how I feel. Scared of what I want.”

  “I’m not scared,” Noah murmured against the still of the night. “I love you. I want to spend a long time showing you how much.”

  “Can you show me now?” The words were out, and Kyle’s eyes widened like he hadn’t meant to say them.

  Noah leaned in closer, his eyes never leaving Kyle’s. He saw fear there, but also a kind of quiet resolve. Something had clicked into place. As their lips met, he wondered what it was.

  The kiss started slow, and Noah reined in the need to take it deeper. Kyle was still new to all of the emotions and conflicts of being in a gay relationship, and Noah didn’t want to push him too far. But Kyle’s fingers tugging at his hair made that self-control so fucking hard.

  Kyle deepened the kiss, pulling Noah’s body against his. He wrapped those strong stock-boy arms tighter as their bodies came together. Noah rubbed against Kyle, their hard cocks separated by nothing but denim.

  A tiny whimper issued from Kyle, and Noah barely heard it over the rustling of trees, but it broke his resolve. He needed Kyle. Needed him like sunshine or air or water. He rolled, trying to take Kyle beneath him, hands tightening, hips moving. God, he wanted to make love right there in the grass, he wanted—

  Jake nuzzled his nose against Noah’s cheek. The cold and wetness shocked him, and he jerked back, but not far enough away that the old dog couldn’t lick his face. Kyle started to laugh, moving from giggles to guffaws as Jake’s weight threw Noah off balance and he landed on his back with the big dog on top of him.

  “Jake, what the—” he sputtered through a face full of tongue and fur.

  “We were getting some lovin’, and he wanted some too,” Kyle managed and sat up. He patted his chest, and Jake went to get some pets from him too.

  “I know,” he told Jake, “no one loves the poor puppy.”

  Noah snorted, which brought Jake’s attention back to him. The big guy flopped down on his back, legs sprawled in the air, and commanded them to rub his belly. When their fingers touched on his soft fur, they kissed above him. The light in Kyle’s eyes still shone brightly in the darkness, a spark that hadn’t been there before.

  Kyle rolled to his knees and then got to his feet. He reached a hand down to Noah, who took it and allowed himself to be pulled up. Jake huffed when they started toward the house, but he rolled to his paws and followed. He followed them through the back door, across the kitchen, and then up the stairs. He tried to follow them into the small bedroom, but the door closed in his little doggy face.

  This was the room where Noah had figured out he was gay. It was the room where he’d learned how his body worked. It was the room where he didn’t feel his father’s watchful eye. Kyle dropped onto the bed while Noah checked the boxes Yeira had sent. He opened the one marked bedside table and pulled out the bottle he found. Leave it to Yeira to simply dump the contents into a box without caring what they were.

  He set it on the table next to the bed and stood looking down at Kyle. Kyle wrapped his arms around Noah and nuzzled his stomach. He’d have been kissing Noah’s skin if Noah had been shirtless. But that would come soon enough. For now, he wanted to take things as slowly as Kyle needed to.

  “Are you sure?” Noah whispered and leaned down to kiss Kyle’s hair.

  In answer, Kyle scooted to the back of the bed, pulling Noah’s hand until he climbed on top of the covers too. They lay down, side by side, facing each other, saying nothing, doing nothing except holding hands.

  “Yes,” Kyle whispered back.

  Noah pulled Kyle into his arms, resting his head atop Kyle’s, holding him gently in his childhood bed. He kissed Kyle’s hair and lay still for a long moment. It had taken him most of his life, but Noah understood in that moment what love was.

  Kyle disentangled himself enough to look up and catch Noah’s lips in a slow, sweet kiss. It wasn’t the burning, needful thing they’d shared in the grass, not yet. Instead it was a moment brimming with hope and quiet expectation.

  “I don’t know what to do,” Kyle confessed between the tender meeting of their lips.

  Noah ran a hand over his back, and the tension knotted under his fingertips. “You’re gonna kiss me,” he whispered against the shell of Kyle’s ear, his chin resting against the rapid staccato of Kyle’s pulse. “We’re going to get tangled up in each other, naked and hot.” Kyle’s fluttering heart slammed against his skin. “I’m going to touch you everywhere, and you’ll touch me. Then I’m going to make love to you. Just the two of us, heart, mind, body, and soul.”

  Kyle sucked in a breath and turned his head, coming off the bed to kiss Noah hard.

  “There’s no going back,” Kyle said, pulling back. “I’ve been brought up my whole life to believe God will hate me for this.”

  “We don’t have to.” Noah sat up, pulling Kyle’s hand into his. “We have all the time in the world.”

  “No, it’s time to live my own life. I just have to trust that God made me this way for a reason.” He pushed Noah back on the bed, positioning his body above.

  “He did. To be with me.” Noah met Kyle’s lips as they came down toward his. Kyle cradled his cheek even as Noah twined his fingers in Kyle’s shaggy hair. The kiss started soft, sweet—a promise. Noah strained to take things slow, but the fire inside him raged. He pushed up, insistent, though the kiss stayed soft. Their bodies rubbed together like tinder, igniting sparks. Kyle’s kisses became more urgent, almost needy, their teeth bumping, limbs tangling, desperate to get closer.

  Noah didn’t want to make that first move to undress. Everything needed to happen at Kyle’s pace. Tonight meant everything to him, and he didn’t want to screw up. Even though the store wouldn’t
make it, he’d found in Aster what he didn’t even know he was looking for.

  Kyle’s fingers tugged the hem of his T-shirt, pulling it up just a bit so he could run his fingers over the scant hair of Noah’s abs. He tickled and teased, barely touching, stoking that fire they’d lit as they kissed. When Noah tried to mimic Kyle’s touches, Kyle broke the kiss and pulled off his own shirt, giving Noah free rein to run trembling hands over his back and chest. The touch of Kyle’s naked skin was a gift. The very best gift he’d ever received.

  He started with long, slow strokes over Kyle’s back, and their bodies settled together as if they were built to be that way. Kyle left one arm under Noah to hold himself up, but the other roamed ceaselessly across Noah’s hip, the back of his thigh, up his spine. He shivered.

  “Are you cold?” Kyle whispered against his lips.

  Noah laughed and sat halfway up to do the awkward dance of removing his shirt. “Not even a little.”

  Noah’s phone rang, but he ignored it. He didn’t care about anything but Kyle.

  He never knew that sex could be like this. Noah had always done it because it was fun and it got him off, but this—the power of it stole his breath, and they’d barely begun. Love took that feeling to exponential heights.

  Noah rubbed a thumb over one of Kyle’s nipples and felt a puff against his lips, a quiet “oh” of surprise. Kyle jerked his hips forward, pressing his hard cock into Noah’s hip. Dear God. And when Kyle began to move in a subtle, unconscious rhythm against him, he ached.

  Kyle fumbled at the button of Noah’s shorts, and they broke apart for the moment it took them both to lose the last of their clothes. When they came together again, time moved slower, and Kyle was more hesitant. Almost like a kid who wants to ride his bike without training wheels but is terrified of the consequences.

  He wouldn’t ask again if Kyle was ready. Instead, he simply opened his arms and brought Kyle in, loved him without words, calmed him with his own surety. They kissed again, the heat building more quickly this time. Noah reached between them and touched Kyle’s hard cock, circling it with his fingers, and Kyle gasped against his lips.

  “Feels so different,” he whispered between kisses.

  “Than touching yourself?” Noah asked with quiet amusement. “It’s worlds different.”

  Kyle’s breath got heavy and harsh against his mouth while Noah stroked him. They stopped kissing for a moment, their foreheads touching, Kyle’s eyes screwed tightly shut. Noah gave him some time to breathe and rolled his balls instead, palming them, caressing them with his fingers. He touched that secret spot behind them and relished the way Kyle writhed.

  His own dick pulsed at the guttural sounds coming from Kyle’s throat. Kyle had thrown his head back, surrendering utterly to Noah’s touch. Like clay. They were about to sculpt something beautiful together.

  “Please.” That single word encompassed every bit of Kyle’s need. Noah wanted to keep going, to pleasure Kyle in every way he could imagine, but Kyle’s hand trembled atop his. This first time was about crossing that line. It was about embracing himself. Noah understood. He drizzled the lube into his hand and coated his dick.

  “Do you want to—” he started to ask, but Kyle pulled Noah on top of him in clear instruction. He kissed Kyle, slow and easy, trying to quell the trembles in Kyle’s body. Noah nestled himself between his lover’s legs and let their bodies touch everywhere, skin to skin.

  “I love you,” Kyle murmured against his neck as he found the entrance to Kyle’s body with his fingers, rubbing with the residual lube.

  “I love you too.” Noah slid his dick back and forth across the tiny hole as Kyle’s hips began to rock against his. Noah reached down and used two fingers to stretch Kyle open and slide the tip of his cock inside. The warmth caused a shiver down his spine. He opened his fingers a little farther and pushed in a little deeper. Then he stroked Kyle’s cock between them, urging Kyle on. The tight grip of Kyle’s body took his breath away when he slid halfway inside him.

  A sharp cry escaped Kyle’s lips.

  “Are you okay?” Noah asked, pulling back to see his face.

  “Hurts some, but….”

  Noah held himself up on one forearm and used his free hand to coax Kyle’s limpening dick hard again. Kyle moaned as Noah’s palm slid over the head. He shivered as Noah went just a bit deeper. Then he jerked faster, and Kyle’s hips bucked.

  He captured Kyle’s lips in a kiss and started to move.

  They came together again and again, lips, tongues, hips, hands—everything in a perfect, timeless rhythm.

  His breaths came sharper, faster as the knot in the pit of his stomach tightened and coiled. But he needed to wait. Kyle had to—

  “Fuck,” he cried and buried his face in the crook of Kyle’s neck, embarrassed a bit at his own lack of control. He came hard and deep, with a cry equal parts jubilation and frustration. He could feel Kyle’s breath against the back of his neck, harsh but quiet.

  Noah took just a moment of respite in Kyle’s arms, kissing his neck, whispering breathlessly. He slid down the bed, kissing his way down Kyle’s body. Kyle writhed under his mouth, his tongue on his nipples, first one and then the other. Noah felt his moan as he moved down across his chest and abs. As he rounded Kyle’s hip, he took his lover’s cock in his hand and stroked. He used rich, long strokes, like an artist of Kyle’s pleasure.

  Kyle’s back arched, his fingers tangled in Noah’s hair.

  “Noah,” he moaned, long and loud, so that Noah’s name was nearly indistinguishable from his need. His hips came up from the bed to meet Noah’s hand, and Noah tightened his grip. Noah rubbed his dick from root to tip, twisting his fist over the head, and Kyle nearly begged. Noah could hear the plea in the pitch of his voice.

  Noah jerked him faster, unrelenting.

  The wetness hit his hand just as Kyle cried out his name. Stickiness splattered over his stomach, and his body stiffened, jerked, as his breaths grew harsh.

  “Stop, okay, okay,” Kyle laughed and pulled back from Noah’s touch. Noah laughed and wiped his hand on the sheets. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Kyle’s sweaty brow. Kyle pulled him down and hid his face in Noah’s shoulder.

  “That was….”

  “Amazing.”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  NOAH LAY in the bed his parents once shared and played with Kyle’s hair as he slept. He was on his side facing Noah with a slack, dreamy expression. They’d moved after making love because Noah’s old twin wasn’t big enough for them to sleep together, and Noah wasn’t going to sleep apart from Kyle again. Even now, Noah wanted to kiss him, but he waited. He’d been having nightmares since the break-in, and Noah didn’t want to wake him for a kiss they had their entire lives to share. He watched Kyle sleep for another minute or so and had decided to get out of bed and rustle up some breakfast when his phone rang on the bedside table.

  He reached for it, trying to get to it before it woke Kyle, and slid the button across the screen on the second ring.

  “Hello?” he asked quietly.

  “Have you seen it? It’s everywhere,” Yeira screeched into the phone.

  Kyle’s eyes flew open at the sound, and he looked around wildly. Noah put a hand on his arm.

  “Have I seen what? I’m still in bed.” He threaded his fingers through Kyle’s and Kyle snuggled closer, laying his head on Noah’s chest.

  “The story. It’s gone viral. It’s all over the internet.” Her voice held the excitement of a kid whose Christmas had come a month early.

  Noah sat up in bed. “When did it air?”

  “Last night during the nine o’clock news. You didn’t watch it?”

  “You didn’t tell me!” he cried.

  “I didn’t have cell service, so I called from a land phone. You didn’t answer, so I left you a voicemail!” she cried back.

  “You filmed Kyle’s interview. He’s in it, isn’t he?”

  “Yes, of course he is, but—”

>   “They’re going to come for him now, Yeira. You needed to warn us. I have to go, I have to call Cooper.” He hung up on her without another word and googled the phone number for Aster’s police department. It went straight to Cooper.

  “Cooper Thompson.”

  “Cooper, it’s Noah,” he choked out, climbing out of bed.

  “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

  Noah jogged a couple feet down the hall back to his childhood room, where all of his clothes were. They hadn’t gotten around to moving them. “My reporter friend called. She said that the thing with Kyle aired last night.” He pulled open a drawer, looking for a shirt.

  “I know, I saw it.”

  “Did everyone fucking know it was on but me?” Noah growled, ripping an NYU T-shirt from the stack.

  “There were commercials for it during the game.”

  “Yeah, ’cause I watch a lot of football. Anyway, do you think he’s in danger?” Noah asked, searching frantically for pants.

  “I think he’s been in danger since his sister showed up looking for him,” Cooper said. “Did you have the new locks installed at the store?”

  “Yeah, not that it’s going to make much difference when the bank comes to take it.”

  “How many days do you have left?”

  “Two, and the circus that’s about to hit us because of this story isn’t going to help. Yeira said that it’s gone viral.”

  “Fantastic. That means gawkers coming to town. I’ll make sure we have extra guys in the rotation for a few weeks. What a mess.” Cooper sighed.

  “Yeah, but he’s worth it,” Noah said simply.

  “We’ll keep him safe, Noah. I failed you when you were a kid. It won’t happen again.” Noah could hear the shame in his voice, and then the call disconnected.

  “What does that mean?” Kyle asked from the doorway.

  “It means that millions of people are watching the story Yeira put together, which includes your interview. Your face is all over the internet.” Noah took his clothes and headed for the bathroom.