“She’s awful.” Peter’s anger made him throw caution out the window. “She’s a liar, she’s selfish, and she’s a user.” He tried to hold back his temper as he waited for Mattie’s reaction.
“Then why did you date her?”
He rubbed his temple. That exact question had run through his mind a thousand times during the six months they dated and even after their relationship ended. The answer was simple and didn’t say much for his character at the time. He dated her because she was pretty, and because, like Mattie said, she knew the right things to say. She had fed into his pride, and he had paid a price for being such a fool. “Because I’m the dummkopf,” he admitted. “She was never the right maedel for me. And none of those things she told you about me are true.”
Instead of tearing into him like she used to, Mattie met his gaze. “You didn’t cheat on her?”
“Nee,” he said, firmly.
“You didn’t break up with her?”
“Nee. She broke up with me.” He hesitated. Now it was his turn to confess. “We’d been having problems for a long while. Then when I found out about the other guys—”
“What other guys?”
“Pick one.” He scowled. “She flirted with every bu in the community. Didn’t you notice that?”
“I thought she was just being friendly.”
“Is she friendly with any of the maed? Other than you?”
Mattie frowned. Lizzy didn’t really have any female friends other than Mattie. “Lizzy says all the maed are jealous of her.”
“They know the truth about her.” Peter faced her. “Listen. Lizzy is poison. I don’t like saying bad things about people, but it’s true. I know she’s yer friend, even though I’m still having a challenging time understanding why.” He softened his tone. “I was just as sucked in as you were. When Lizzy turns on the charm, she turns it up high. She can be nice. She just chooses not to be when it suits her. I don’t know why she’s the way she is, and I pray that someday she’ll realize she can’t treat people the way she does.
“Mattie, Christ tells us to love one another, and that’s what I see in you. You dropped everything to help yer onkel and aenti. You’re making scarves and hats for people in need. Atlee told me you put an extra cookie in each package he sells at the bakery. You’re making sure Carolyn doesn’t geh stir-crazy, and you’re doing the heaviest housework so she doesn’t overdo it. If that isn’t loving others, I don’t know what is.”
Mattie looked down at her lap again. A wavy tendril of hair rested against her cheek. He couldn’t help himself from brushing it back behind her ear. When she looked up, his breath caught. She was still the same Mattie on the outside—thin, freckled, plain faced, the exact opposite of Lizzy’s stunning beauty. But the inside of Mattie Shetler was more beautiful than anything he’d ever seen, and it sent a jolt of attraction through him.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve treated you so badly, and for nee reason.”
“You thought you knew the truth.”
“But that’s not an excuse for the things I said to you. You just said that I love others.” Her troubled eyes met his gaze. “I haven’t shown that love to you.”
At the word love, he felt another jolt. Of course, she was talking about the loving-your-neighbor kind of love. Yet for a slight moment, his heart had believed something else. Or had wished for it. He brushed the thought away. Here she was giving him the apology he’d wanted, and all he could think about was how he was starting to want something more from their friendship. But she needed his reassurance right now, not his mixed-up feelings. “You bring me hot kaffee and lunch every day while I’m working.”
“That’s hardly enough to make up for what I’ve done.”
“You don’t have to make up for anything. I forgive you. And while you’re the one saying sorry, remember, I’ve snapped back at you plenty. Can you forgive me for that?”
She smiled. “There’s nix to forgive.” Then she chuckled. “You’re really kind of perfect, Peter. Did you know that?”
He blushed at the compliment. It was so good to hear something positive from her. “I’m far from perfect,” he said, and then he smirked. “But if you want to think so, I’m not going to stop you.”
She batted his arm and laughed. Then she sobered. “Danki for helping me see things more clearly.”
“What are you going to do about Lizzy?”
“I don’t know.” She started to take off her coat. “I’ll have to pray about it. I don’t want to fly off the handle anymore, the way I did with you. I want to follow God’s lead.”
“You’re not mad at her anymore?”
“Oh, I’m mad.” Her arm got stuck in her coat. “But a sharp tongue doesn’t help anything.”
“I know that.” He leaned over and helped her out of her coat. Their faces were only inches apart, and his heart went into overdrive.
Then his stomach growled.
She laughed as he put his hand over his middle. “Hungry?”
“Very. I was just going to get the last piece of cake.” He scooted back. Being close to her wasn’t a good idea. But he wasn’t ready to leave her just yet. “Want to split it with me?”
She paused as if she were thinking it over. Then she shook her head. “I’m really tired all of a sudden. I’m going to bed.”
“All right.” He was disappointed, but he also understood. It wasn’t every day that you realized yer best friend wasn’t a friend at all. It would take her time to get over the hurt, like it had taken him time. He started to get up from the couch.
“Peter?”
He looked at her. “Ya?”
“Why did you let everyone think you cheated and broke up with Lizzy?”
Her question was easy to answer. “The people who know me knew she wasn’t telling the truth. As for everyone else . . . What could I do about it? I didn’t want to get into a war of words with her. It wasn’t worth it. She moved on, and so have I. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Gute nacht, Peter.”
He went through the kitchen doorway, but then he peeked to make sure she was really okay as she walked up the stairs. He wasn’t sure what had happened between them tonight, but he knew their relationship had changed forever.
7
THE FOLLOWING SATURDAY, A WINTER STORM HIT, SLOWING progress on the bakery addition by a day. After the weather cleared, everyone was back to work. Joanna and her sister Abigail had offered to work a little extra so Mattie’s uncle could help Peter. The men wanted to get the walls up before the heavy snow set in.
Mattie enjoyed baking. She never thought she would look forward to rolling out dough, decorating cookies, and making fruitcakes every single day, but she did. There was also the bonus of lunch with Peter as often as she could get free, something else she never thought she would look forward to. But she definitely did.
Today she’d prepared leftover fried chicken from the night before, tangy potato salad, crisp apples, and fresh-baked oatmeal raisin cookies for them. She bundled up in her coat, and then she picked up the lunch cooler and a thermos of hot coffee and went outside.
Peter was nailing down plywood flooring. The trusses for the roof had been put in place the previous Saturday with the help of several men in the community, and the rest of the addition was already framed in. She waited while he finished nailing. Then he looked up. “Hi,” he said, grinning. He set down the hammer and took off her uncle’s gloves. “Gut timing. I’m starving. Let me geh inside and wash up.”
While he was gone she spread one of Carolyn’s old tablecloths on the floor. Then she knelt and prepared Peter’s plate before pouring coffee into a Styrofoam cup. When he returned, she was almost finished preparing her own plate, adding an apple to the rest of her lunch.
He smiled when, she assumed, he realized she was staying. Then he sat down and crossed his legs. They both bowed their heads for prayer before digging in. “I’m hungry too,” she said before taking a bit
e from a chicken leg.
“Nix better than cold fried chicken.” Peter bit into his own piece.
“Except hot chicken.”
“Nah.” He wiped his lips with one of the napkins she’d brought. “Cold is better.”
She burrowed into her coat and kept nibbling. It was snowing a little, but the light flurries didn’t bother her, and they didn’t seem to bother Peter either. “How long before you can start putting up the walls?”
“Next week. It’s going well. We should be finished before Christmas as planned.”
“Oh. Then you’ll be going back to Fredericktown?” She would be here at least until after the doctor gave Carolyn the go-ahead for light duty at the bakery. That could be at least the middle of January, and it could be even later.
“Ya.” He met her gaze. “Unless there’s reason for me to stay.”
Her heart skipped a beat, and it wasn’t the first time since they’d had their conversation last week. She couldn’t stop thinking about Peter and her feelings for him. Yet she kept those to herself. She and Peter were friends—good friends. But that was all. She had no reason to expect anything more.
Yet the way he was looking at her now, a mix of questioning and pleading in his eyes, made her wonder about a new possibility. What if I could have more?
“Peter!”
At the familiar voice, Mattie dropped her chicken leg on the tablecloth. Her stomach turned as Lizzy walked toward them.
Mattie looked at Peter. He was sipping coffee and peering at Lizzy over the rim of his cup as if she hadn’t just showed up out of the blue.
“What are you doing here?” he asked calmly.
“I need to talk to you,” she said, and then she turned to Mattie. “Could you leave us alone for a few minutes?”
“Don’t move, Mattie,” Peter said under his breath. Then he looked up at Lizzy. “You’re wasting yer time. We have nix to talk about.”
“But, Peter,” she purred, “we have unfinished business.”
Mattie’s stomach turned again. Lizzy looked perfect, as usual, and her large blue eyes were wide with flirty innocence—although Mattie wasn’t sure if that was an accurate description. Leave it to Lizzy to invent a move so contradictory. She picked up her plate of food, dumped it into the cooler, and stood. “I’ll leave you two alone,” she said, pain squeezing her chest. With Lizzy looking at Peter like that, Mattie was sure she’d soon be forgotten. Lizzy always got what she wanted, and if she wanted Peter back, Mattie could do nothing to stop her.
Peter stood and placed his hand on her forearm. “I want you to stay.”
Her heart thumped in her chest, and then it took a flying leap when he slid his hand to hers and clasped it.
“Lizzy, whatever you have to say, you can say it in front of Mattie. She’s yer best friend, remember? The one you haven’t bothered to say hello to?”
Lizzy rolled her eyes. “Hello, Mattie,” she said, impatient, as if saying the words was a monumental task. Then her gaze dropped to their clasped hands. “What are you doing, Peter?” she snapped.
“Holding Mattie’s hand.” He bent down and snatched up the piece of fruit from his plate. “Apple?” he said, offering it to Lizzy.
Lizzy’s face turned red. “Nee, I don’t want a stupid apple. I came here to discuss our relationship.”
“There is nee relationship.” He turned to Mattie. “Want a bite?”
“Ugh.” Lizzy stomped her foot, and then she turned her blazing gaze on Mattie. “What is going on with you two?”
Lizzy was acting like a spoiled brat. “We’re friends,” Mattie managed to say. Lizzy was acting like a spoiled brat.
“Friends don’t hold hands like that.”
Mattie looked at her hand in Peter’s. She’d been so caught off guard by Lizzy’s arrival that she only now realized how this must look. Why was he holding her hand?
Lizzy scowled. “I can’t believe you would do this behind mei back.”
“Do what?”
“Don’t act stupid, Mattie. I know you’ve always liked Peter.”
He turned and looked at Mattie, surprised. “You have?”
“That was a long time ago,” she mumbled, her face heating at the lie. She had always liked him, even though she’d only told Lizzy shortly before they started dating. Now Lizzy was using what Mattie had told her to humiliate her. And this wasn’t the first time she’d humiliated her.
Lizzy let out an ugly laugh. “You’re jealous of me, just like everyone else. You always have been. It’s sad, really, how you’re so desperate for a man that you think Peter would be interested in you.”
Peter let go of Mattie’s hand and took a step forward. “Lizzy, I’m warning you—”
“Enough!” Anger flamed inside Mattie—even more anger than she’d felt after that phone call with Lizzy. And she was angry with Peter too. He had to be using her to make a point to Lizzy, holding her hand like that. What that point was, she couldn’t fathom, but she was finished having her emotions toyed with, by both of them. “I know why you’re really here, Lizzy. You couldn’t stand the thought of us being together after I told you Peter had changed. And you realized I was getting close to the truth.”
“I’m sure you’re hardly together,” Lizzy huffed.
“That’s not the point.” Tears gathered in her eyes, and Mattie tried to blink them back. She often cried when she was angry. She’d cried the night she spoke with Lizzy on the phone and got mad about how stupid she’d been. But this was the worst time to melt into a puddle of tears.
“Now I’ve realized he’s the same as he always was. You lied to me, Lizzy. You lied about what happened with you and Peter. You let me defend you when you knew you weren’t telling the truth.” She started to shake. “You’ve always made me look stupid. You took advantage of me in so many ways. What kind of friend are you?” Her throat constricted. “What kind of person are you?”
Lizzy took a step back, her face filled with shock. “How dare you accuse me of those things? If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have anyone.”
“That’s not true either.” Peter moved closer to Mattie. “She has me, Lizzy. You’re the one who’s going to end up alone if you don’t change yer ways.”
Lizzy’s face pinched, making her look downright ugly, something Mattie had never seen. “You’ll both regret this, you pathetic losers.” She turned away with clenched fists and stormed away.
When Lizzy had run off like this in the past, Mattie had always chased after her, begging for forgiveness, apologizing for some slight she hadn’t even realized she’d committed. This time she didn’t move. She was finished running after Lizzy. She didn’t have to beg anyone to like her—or to be her friend. But despite that realization, her body began to shake again.
Peter put his arm around her shoulders. “Are you okay?”
She shrugged him off and moved away. “I won’t let you use me either, Peter.”
Peter grabbed Mattie’s arm as she tried to leave. She looked up at him, tears streaming down her face. “Let geh of me,” she said.
He did, not wanting to hurt her. But somehow, he had anyway. “What did I do?”
“Holding mei hand.” She sniffed, her nose turning red. “Telling Lizzy that I have you. You can’t use me to make her jealous, Peter.” Her shoulders slumped. “As you can tell, she doesn’t believe it anyway.”
“You think I held yer hand to make Lizzy jealous?”
“What other reason is there?”
True, he had probably taken advantage of the moment. He wanted to make it clear to Lizzy that he had moved on. Unfortunately, he had sent the wrong signal to Mattie. “I’m sorry,” he said, wanting to brush the tears from her cheeks. “I didn’t mean for you to get the wrong idea.”
“It’s . . . it’s . . .” She put her face into her hands and spun around, her shoulders shaking as she sobbed.
Oh boy, he’d made a mess of things. But unlike Lizzy’s tears, used as a weapon whenever she wanted him to fe
el guilty, Mattie’s tears born of pain reached his soul. He went up behind her. “Mattie, listen to me. I shouldn’t have held yer hand when Lizzy was here.”
“It’s okay,” she said, her voice muffled.
“Nee, it’s not. I should have held yer hand long before now.”
She stilled, sniffed, and then turned around. “What?”
“I didn’t hold yer hand to make Lizzy jealous. I don’t care how she feels about me. The fact that she even thought there was a chance for us to get back together proves that she doesn’t care anything about me.” He couldn’t resist wiping Mattie’s cheek with his thumb. “I care about you. That’s why I held yer hand. Because I wanted to.”
“Oh.” Mattie’s gaze held his. She blinked. “Wait. You did?”
“Ya, I did. Mattie, I can’t say I understand everything I’m feeling, because I don’t. This has hit me from out of left field. I didn’t expect to fall for you—and certainly not so fast.”
She shook her head. “You’re just rebounding from Lizzy, that’s all. You’re—”
He took her face in his hands and kissed her. “Does that feel like a rebound?”
Her eyes were wide, no doubt with shock. “Nee,” she said softly.
Peter stepped back, now feeling both contrite and confused. “I’m sorry.” He shoved his cold hands into his pockets. “I shouldn’t have kissed you so suddenly. I’m messing this up big time. It’s just that I . . . I really like you, Mattie. Please believe me.”
She smiled. Then she shocked him by standing on her tip-toes and giving him a kiss. Sweet, sincere, and everything he’d always wanted. Lizzy who? When she pulled away, his heart felt like it was going to explode. “Mattie?”
“I like you too.” She looked at him shyly. “Was it all right to kiss you?”
He wanted to laugh, but he held it in since he didn’t want her to get the wrong idea. She was the perfect maedel for him. Suddenly his vow to avoid any further romantic entanglements flew out the window. “Mattie, you can kiss me anytime you want.”
Three days before Christmas, the addition was finished. The next day Peter accompanied Mattie to Noelle’s shop to drop off the scarves and hats she and Carolyn had made. They’d added boxes of Christmas cookies and banana and pumpkin bread for the Christmas dinner Noelle had told Mattie the shelter was also giving for the needy.
Melting Hearts Page 7
