“And this must be Rachel?” She patted my daughter on the head, and Rachel looked up at her, smilin’. “How old is she?”
“About ten months old.”
“Do you mind if I join you two?”
“By all means, sit.”
She let out a deep sigh as her butt hit the sand. “It’s a pretty day.”
“Yes, it is.”
“So,” she paused for a second, bitin’ her lip. “I have to say, I feel kind of odd coming out here.”
“How so?”
“Well, I feel like I’m five years old all over again and my mommy is setting up a play date.”
We both laughed.
“Let me guess, Helen sent ya out here.”
“Yep.”
“Then I suppose you’re right. It does feel a bit like that. But I won’t speak of it if ya don’t.”
“Agreed.” She pointed toward the notepad in my lap. “Are you writing a letter to someone?”
“Oh, um, yeah. My parents.”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to be nosy.” She tucked her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “Mother says it’s one of my biggest flaws—I ask too many personal questions.”
“That’s not a flaw, and ya don’t have to apologize. I was writin’ them a letter, lettin’ them know I was okay.”
“Why don’t you just call them?”
“Because I don’t want to talk to them. This way, it’s a one-sided conversation and I don’t have to listen to them or listen to what they have to say. The last time I talked to Mama . . . well, it wasn’t good.”
“How long ago was that? Maybe they’ve had a change of heart or have calmed down?
“It was before I arrived in Shadow Brook.” I pulled one knee up to my chest, restin’ my elbow on it as I cradled my head in my palm. “Man, has it really been that long since I got here? No wonder Helen sent ya out here. She must be wonderin’ what in the world I’m doin’ stayin’ here for a month—even if I’m payin’ for the room.”
And using all the benefit money I have left.
“I don’t think she cares much. I mean, I haven’t heard her say anything and I overhear all her conversations with my mother. All I heard was she thought it would be good for you to make a friend while you’re here. She said you stick to your room most of the time.” She stuck out both hands and then pointed at herself with both index fingers. “Enter, me.”
“Well, I’m sorry you have to do something ya might not want to do.” Although I didn’t mean it, I snorted as though I thought my words were amusin’. Deep down, though, guilt stung. Not only had I cut off the world, but now people were havin’ to sacrifice because of my choices.
“You don’t have to apologize. I don’t have many friends either. Mom always worries about it. It’s not because I haven’t tried. I just don’t get along with many of the girls here.”
“I know how that feels.”
“So, how long are you staying in Shadow Brook?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Must be nice to just be able to go off and stay wherever you want for however long you want.”
“I guess so. Although, my money will run out one day.” I gave a slight chuckle with my words, hopin’ the mockin’ tone would ward off the thoughts brewin’ in the back of my mind that I’d have to make a choice—and soon—about what I was gonna do.
“Isn’t it awful how money dictates our lives? I’d love to travel, but I doubt I’ll ever get to. Mom and Dad can’t afford to take themselves anywhere, much less send me.”
“What about college?”
Nancy snorted. “I don’t have the smarts or the money for college.”
“Well, what do ya want to do for the rest of your life?”
“I hadn’t much ever given it a thought. I just thought I’d take over my parent’s flower shop. What about you?”
“I was in school to become a photographer, but then I left when . . . well, I left after just a couple of months in my first semester.”
“Are you going to go back?”
I shook my head. “Since my parents won’t pay for it and I don’t have the money, no. I’m not.”
“Why did you leave?” She glanced at me, waitin’ for an answer I couldn’t give, and after a few moments of me remainin’ silent, she continued. “Is it because of your daughter?”
“Somethin’ like that,” I whispered.
“I couldn’t imagine having a child. Not at nineteen.” She chuckled to herself then cleared her throat as she glanced at me. “Not that it’s bad or anything. I just meant I wouldn’t be ready. I’ve never even kissed a boy. Heck, I’ve never even held a boy’s hand.”
“Ya haven’t?”
“Nope.” She laughed again and her face flushed a bright pink color that drowned out her freckles. “I do like a boy, though. Evan. We went to school together. His father owns the hardware store in town.”
“Have ya talked to him?”
“Oh, no, I couldn’t. I get too nervous and I know I’ll just say something stupid.”
“I bet ya wouldn’t.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. I still think I would.”
“Well, maybe I can help ya.”
She whipped her head toward me, blinkin’ several times with wide eyes. “You would? I’d love it and I’d forever be in your debt.”
“That’s a bit over dramatic.” I laughed. “It’s really not a big deal.”
“Oh, but it is. He’s, well, he’s just the best, and if I could just talk to him . . .” She clasped her hands and tucked them into her chest. “I just want to talk to him so bad.”
“Do ya see him often?”
“He’s having a birthday party next Friday. They are all meeting at Moe’s Lobster Shack for dinner then they are going down to the lighthouse to have a bonfire.”
“Then why don’t we go too?”
A beamin’ smile spread across her face. “You’d want to go with me?”
“If ya don’t mind Rachel taggin’ along, why not?”
“Oh, that would be so much fun. Okay. That’s what we’ll do then.” She bounced slightly in her seat, wigglin’ her whole body with excitement. “Now, the real question is what should I wear?”
“Or what should you say to him.”
Her smile vanished. “You’re right. I’m going to have to talk to him.”
I laughed. “Isn’t that the plan?”
“Well, yeah, but . . . now, I’m going to actually have to do it.”
Rachel yawned as she rubbed her eyes, and I rose to my feet, reachin’ out to help Nancy to hers before I scooped my daughter into my arms. “I need to get this little one up to the room for a nap. Once she’s down, we can take a walk if ya want.”
“Oh, okay.” She bit her lip for a moment then continued, her nervousness apparently too much for her to hold it in any longer. “So, what should I say to him?”
“’Hello’ would be good, and askin’ him how he’s doin’.” I brushed the sand from my butt as we walked back up to the inn.
“But then what?”
“Ya could ask him out to dinner.”
“Oh, I couldn’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Shouldn’t the boy ask? Mother always says the boy should ask. If the girl asks it’s a sign, she’s desperate.”
“Maybe back in the 30s or 40s it was. But now? I don’t think he’d see ya as desperate.”
“Still, though, I don’t know if I could do it.”
“It’s not like you’re askin’ him to marry ya or to get into bed.”
She stopped walkin’. Her mouth gaped open for a moment before she slapped her hand over it. “I . . . you talk so freely about . . .”
“Sex?”
Her cheeks flushed pink once more and she closed her eyes. “I can’t . . . I can’t even think of that.”
“But it will happen. I mean, if ya two start datin’ and get married, or I suppose ya don’t really even ha
ve to get married.”
“Well, yes, I know. But . . .” She shook her head as she uncovered her mouth. “Is . . . is it fun?”
“Sex?”
She waved her hands. “Shh! Don’t say it so loud.”
I glanced around the empty deck and lounge area. “No one is out here.”
“Yes, I know, but they might be able to hear you inside. I don’t want my mother to know what we are talking about.”
I moved toward her, clutchin’ one of her shoulders. “Why don’t we just start with ya talkin’ to him at his party?”
“I think I like that plan better.” She smiled. “However, I still would like to know about . . . it. Like can you at least tell me if it’s fun?”
I exhaled a deep breath, answerin’ as I spun away from her and made my way back toward the back door. “More fun than ya could possibly imagine.”
From the glass, I watched her reflection as she fanned her face with her hand. “I knew it.” She bounded after me, grabbin’ my hand. “Can you tell me just one more thing?”
“What?’”
“What do they look like?”
“Well, they aren’t pretty, but they are so much fun. I guess ya could say they are kind of like a popsicle but made out of skin.”
“Ewww! That sounds so gross.”
We both burst into laughter as I twisted the doorknob. It popped open and we practically fell into the kitchen. While I rested my arm on her shoulder, she doubled over.
“Having fun?” a man’s voice asked.
Both Nancy and I flinched, and as I spun to face the man, I recognized his face.
“You!” I said, pointin’ at him.
“Me?” He jerked his head back and cocked it to the side.
“You were the one who helped me the night I arrived. In the rain.”
“Oh, wow. I didn’t think you’d still be here.” He folded his arms across his chest and smiled. “Good to see you again.”
I opened my mouth to say ‘ya too’ but stopped myself.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Grey,” Nancy said, clearin’ her throat.
He nodded at her. “Afternoon.”
Nancy’s curls brushed her shoulders as she glanced from him to me then back to him. “I think I’m going to go find my mom. I’ll be right back.”
I watched as she trotted for the door from the kitchen out into the dinin’ room. Once she passed him, she spun around pointin’ at him as she mouthed the words ‘talk to him’ and ‘he’s so handsome’ to me.
I shook my head, droppin’ my gaze to the counter.
“I’m James, by the way. James Grey.”
“Maggie Wilson.”
He stuck out his hand to shake mine. “It’s nice to meet you, Maggie.” His palm was soft, and he gave my hand a gentle squeeze as he said my name.
“And who is this little beauty?” He pointed toward Rachel as he leaned forward, givin’ her a wink as he waved. She smiled.
“This is Rachel.”
“Your daughter, right? I mean, she’s not a sister or niece?”
“No, she’s my daughter.”
“I don’t have any children. Not yet, anyway.” He snorted, his face softened for a moment. “But my sister has three children—two boys and a little girl. I don’t get to see them as much as I’d like, but when I do, I enjoy their company. They are growing up so fast, sometimes I don’t even recognize them when Justine—my sister—sends me pictures.”
“Three kids, huh? I couldn’t imagine having three.”
“Do you not want more?”
I blinked. Was he seriously askin’ a stranger if she wanted to have more children? Before I could even think of a response, he held up his hands.
“Forgive me. That was not an appropriate question to ask.” He shook his head, dropping his gaze to the floor. His face flushed pink and he exhaled a deep breath as he rested his hands on his hips, whisperin’. “That was smooth James, real smooth.”
“So,” I said, lookin’ around the kitchen as I ignored his embarrassment—and admittedly mine too. “May I ask why ya are in here? Helen doesn’t care too much for guests comin’ and goin’ all around the inn.”
“You’re back here.”
“Yeah, I suppose ya got me there.”
“I help Helen when I can, fixing things when they need it. You know, handyman type stuff. It gives me something to do and saves her some money. I’ve been out of town on some business and I just got back in a few days ago, so I thought I’d come over and check to see if she needed anything.”
“Well, isn’t that nice of ya.”
He shrugged as he grabbed the toaster sittin’ in front of him on the counter then moved closer to me, placin’ the appliance back in its normal spot. Once again, he towered over me and I stared into his chest for a moment before I glanced up at his face. His eyes were like emeralds on a stormy day where the grey in the clouded sky made the green darker, bolder. They weakened my knees and sent butterflies flutterin’ through my stomach. Several inches taller than me, the top of my head hit him about at his chin. The same height as . . .
No. Don’t do it. Don’t think of him. Don’t even think his name. He’s gone and there isn’t anything you can do about it.
I dropped my gaze back to James’s collarbone for a moment before I glanced up at his face once more.
“Well, I should probably get this little one down for a nap.” I rushed toward the door, not waitin’ for him to agree, disagree, or even utter a goodbye. My plan was thwarted however when the door from the dinin’ room opened and Helen, Nancy, and another woman, I assumed was Nancy’s mother, came strollin’ through.
“Did you get the toaster fixed, James?” Helen asked.
He nodded. “Yes, ma’am. You should be good to go for breakfast in the morning.”
“Oh, aren’t you just a gem. Thank you so much.”
He ducked his chin for a moment then glanced around at all the women surroundin’ him. “Well, I best be on my way.”
“You aren’t staying for lunch?” Helen asked as he strolled toward the door.
“Not today. But perhaps I’ll be back for dinner this evening. I’m going over to see Jerry, though, have him take a look at my car since it’s leaking oil. Got a message for him?”
She waved her hand. “Would you quit? I’ve told you a thousand times I don’t have a message for Jerry.”
“You do know I need to keep asking, right?”
“I don’t know why unless you like wasting breath.”
He laughed, and before she could throw a towel at him, he darted from the kitchen.
“I don’t know why he has to bring Jerry up every time he sees me.”
“Because I’m sure Jerry brings it up every time he sees James. You know that man has been in love with you for years. I don’t know why you don’t just go out on a date with him.” Nancy’s mom patted Helen on the shoulder.
“Believe me I know what you think of the matter. It’s just . . . well, we are just too set in our ways.”
“Maybe you are.”
Silence took over Helen for a moment before she glanced at me and let out a deep sigh.
“James really is a gem of a man, though.”
“It’s a shame what he’s been through,” Nancy’s mother said.
“What has he been through?” I asked.
“I don’t have all the details, but his wife died a couple of years ago. It’s such a shame when young people have to go through something so terrible.”
A lump formed in my throat.
While I’d seen James as a young, attractive man in front of me, I hadn’t seen the heartbreak dwelling deep inside of him. Pain I knew all too well, and pain that suddenly felt like an itch on my skin I couldn’t scratch. The room closed in on me and my breathin’ hitched in my lungs.
“I think I’ll take Rachel upstairs so she can take a nap.”
“Are you coming back down so we can take a walk?” Nancy asked.
“Um, ya know, I . . . I
’m actually gettin’ a little tired myself. I think I’ll lay down with her.”
“Oh, okay.” Disappointment flooded her frown. “But are we still on for next Friday?”
“Oh, yeah, of course. Friday night. Moe’s for dinner. I’ll be there.”
SIX
It wasn’t until after dark when I’d made my way back downstairs. Half prayin’ none of the other guests were still enjoyin’ their meals, I was relieved to find only Helen in the dinin’ room.
“I was just about to come up to see if you two were okay?” She finished wipin’ off a table and folded the rag in her hands.
“I didn’t miss dinner, did I?”
“Oh gracious, no. You’re just fine.”
I dug my hand in my hip, adjustin’ Rachel in my other arm. “And ya aren’t lyin’ to me, are ya?”
“Nope.” She held up her hands. “I swear I’m not. What would you like?”
“Whatever you still have that’s easy back there.”
She gave me a wink. “I’ll be right back.”
As she trotted off into the kitchen, I sat down at the table, settin’ Rachel in the highchair Helen had bought—another garage sale find she swore wasn’t only for us, but for other guests should the need arise—and tossed the notepad from this afternoon on the table. While the thought of finishin’ the letter—or even startin’ it—to my parents ate away at my stomach, I knew I had to do it. It’d been long enough.
“Just get it done, Mags,” I whispered to myself, glancin’ at Rachel. “Your mama just needs to get it done, huh?”
Studyin’ what I already had, I abandoned the top page, foldin’ it over to start anew. This time would be different. This time I would know what I wanted to say. This time I wouldn’t waiver.
“Working on something important?” Helen asked as she approached the table, a glass of water in one hand and plate of food in the other.
“Define important.”
“Well, if it’s the same letter you’ve been trying to write for the last few weeks and seeing how you can’t seem to find the right words, I’d say it is. What I’m trying to figure out is why you’re struggling so much with it.”
“It’s to my parents, letting them know I’m all right.”
“You sound as though telling them is a bad thing.”
Another Yesterday Page 6
