by Susan Stoker
“Thanks,” she whispered. “This is probably where a lot of women would promise to go to the gym more when they get home, but to be honest, this whole adventure has turned me off working out forever, I think. I’d much rather sit my ass on a towel on the beach and watch everyone else running by than get up and be active myself.”
Ace couldn’t stop smiling. He really liked how she could make fun of herself without fishing for compliments. “This time tomorrow, we’ll hopefully all be crowded into the back of some too-small pickup truck headed for the capital.”
“Well, gosh, that sounds appealing,” she replied. “We’d better get going. There’s nothing better than sitting in the back of a pickup, speeding down a mountain in a foreign country, hoping like hell they don’t flip the thing.”
Throwing caution to the wind, Ace pulled her into a hug. She immediately wrapped her arms around his torso, and he could feel her clinging to him tightly. “I’m going to get you home safe and sound,” Ace vowed.
She took a deep breath against him and nodded.
Then Ace felt little arms go around him from his left. Looking down, he saw Sinta staring back up at him. Her face was smeared with dirt and he could see some crumbs around her mouth, and he’d never seen anything as adorable in all his life.
Until he looked to his right. Rani had copied Sinta, and she was holding on to his thigh. She was smiling up at him. Her hair was a rat’s nest on her head, but she was as cute as a button.
“You guys ready to go?” he asked the girls.
“Go!” Sinta said.
Rani nodded.
Ace looked up and saw Kemala standing about five feet away. He thought he saw a brief look of longing on her face before she turned her head to glance at his teammates, who were waiting patiently for him and Piper to be ready to go.
Wishing he knew more about teenagers, about what was going through Kemala’s mind, he pulled away from Piper. “Let me know if your feet start hurting again, and we’ll stop and I’ll check them.”
“I will.”
He raised an eyebrow at her.
“I swear,” she said.
Nodding, Ace leaned down and picked up both Sinta and Rani, resting them in the crooks of his arms. He bounced them up and down for a moment, and both girls shrieked in laughter. He loved that sound. They hadn’t had a lot to laugh about lately, and knowing they trusted him to not drop them was a giddy feeling.
Piper chuckled next to him—and Ace knew without a doubt this was what he wanted. A woman to stand at his side and a family. The woman might not be Piper, and the family might not be the precious girls in his arms…but oh, how he wanted them to be.
That night, when they stopped walking for the day, Rocco and the others thought it was safe enough for a small fire. They didn’t need it for the warmth, but the light and safety it provided made Piper feel as if she was merely on a camping trip with friends instead of fleeing armed rebels who’d already killed her best friend, and who would do the same to her if they caught up to them.
Sinta and Rani were fast asleep on a small pallet Ace had made for them. Kemala was sitting on the opposite side of the fire, as far away from Piper as she could get, which hurt, but there was nothing Piper could do about the teenager’s attitude toward her at the moment.
She’d taken off her shoes and borrowed socks, Ace had doctored up her feet once more, and they were all sitting around the fire talking about nothing in particular. She knew from what the guys had talked about as they were walking that Rocco and Gumby had serious girlfriends. Gumby was actually engaged.
“How does your fiancée cope with you being gone on missions?” Piper asked him.
He was sitting with his back against a log, and he looked over and smiled at her. “As well as she can. I won’t lie, it’s hard. On both of us. But she has Hannah and Caite, as well as our other SEAL friends’ wives.”
“You have daughters?” she asked.
Gumby looked confused for a second, then chuckled. “No, sorry. Hannah is our pit bull, and Caite is Rocco’s girlfriend.”
Piper glanced at Rocco. “It’s nice that your girlfriend gets along with Gumby’s.”
Instead of simply agreeing, Rocco focused on her with a look so serious, Piper couldn’t help but get nervous for some reason.
“Caite and Sidney don’t just ‘get along.’ They’re tight. Very close. Dating or being married to a Navy SEAL isn’t a walk in the park. When we head off to missions, we can’t tell our loved ones where we’re going, what we’ll be doing, or when we’ll be back. It’s stressful as hell, and I have to admit, I have no idea why any woman would want to be involved with anything like that.”
Ace growled at his friend from where he was sitting next to Piper, and she reacted without thinking, reaching out and putting her hand on his thigh. He immediately quieted at her touch. Piper didn’t look away from Rocco. She really wanted to understand. To hear what he was saying.
“I’ll be the first to admit that military guys can be assholes,” Rocco went on. “It’s not hard to find a woman who’s looking for a little sex. Our job is nerve-racking, and way too many soldiers and sailors I know use sex as a stress reliever. Sex with women who aren’t their wives or girlfriends, I might add.”
“But you don’t,” Piper said with confidence.
He snorted. “No, I don’t. And neither would any of the men sitting around this fire with me. We’ve seen the worst of humanity. We’ve seen men literally push their wives and children into the line of fire to give them time to escape the enemy. We’ve seen women sell their children to strangers to get a few bucks in their pocket. I can’t imagine doing anything that would hurt my Caite. And that means mentally or physically. I’d rather die myself than cheat on her. She literally almost gave her life for mine, and I’d shoot myself in the head before doing anything that might make her doubt me, or my love for her.”
Piper sighed. She wanted that kind of love. Yearned for it. But she’d never come close to feeling or experiencing it. Then something else Rocco said registered. “She almost gave her life for yours?”
Rocco nodded. “Yeah. Gumby, Ace, and I were on a mission and had gotten ourselves into a sticky situation. It was likely we wouldn’t have made it out of it alive…and in waltzes Caite. When I stood her up for our date, she got worried and figured out where I was and came to rescue me.”
Piper knew her eyes were huge in her face, but she couldn’t help it. She turned to stare at Ace. “Really?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“Holy shit,” she breathed.
“We all realized we had some regrets. Things that we hadn’t done yet. One of the things I most regretted was not having a dog,” Gumby said, no trace of embarrassment in his words. “I’d always wanted one but kept telling myself it wouldn’t be fair to leave it when I went on missions.”
When he didn’t continue, Piper asked, “And you got one?”
“Yeah. Hannah practically fell into my lap one day, so to speak. I was driving along, minding my own business, and I saw a woman in a knock-down drag-out fight with a guy. I stopped to kick his ass and realized they were fighting over a dog. A pit bull he’d abused badly.”
“Is she okay now?”
Gumby smiled. “Yeah, she’s awesome.”
“And the woman?” Piper pressed.
“She’s awesome too. We’re going to get married later this month.”
“She’s okay with what you do then,” Piper replied.
Gumby nodded and got serious. “As Rocco said, it’s not easy…on either of us. I miss her just as much as she misses me. I worry about her just as much as she worries about me.”
“It’s not the same,” Piper protested. “I mean, you’re out here getting shot at and she’s not.”
“But I have five men who I trust implicitly at my back. I know without a doubt that any one of them would do whatever it takes to make sure I get home to my Sidney. But Sidney could get hit by a car while I’m gone. Or have a heart a
ttack. Or fall and not be able to call for help. Lots of things could happen to her back at home, and I’m not there for her. That’s what’s hard for us. We’re protective. Probably more so than other men because of what we’ve seen and done in our lives. So leaving her home is just as hard on us, as our leaving is on our women.”
Piper thought about that for a moment. She could understand it. Her gaze went to Sinta and Rani, who were sleeping soundly next to each other. The thought of leaving them and going back to California was as painful as losing Kalee. What would become of these girls? Would someone take advantage of them? Would they be hurt? Would someone decide that selling their bodies was an easy way to make ends meet?
There were so many things that could happen to the girls after she left, even after doing everything possible to keep them safe. The idea of simply walking away was repugnant.
Doing her best to put those thoughts away—those were worries for tomorrow—Piper asked Rocco, “What was your regret? If you feel comfortable sharing.”
“Not meeting Caite for our date,” Rocco said without hesitation. “We had just met, and I’d promised nothing would keep me away from going out with her, but there I was, stuck in that fucking cellar with no way out.”
“Ask Ace what he most regretted,” Bubba suggested.
Piper turned to look at the man next to her. His eyes were glued to hers, and he didn’t look the least upset with his friend for making him reveal some kind of secret. “What did you regret?” Piper asked.
“Not having kids,” Ace said without hesitation.
Piper took a deep breath…and couldn’t take her eyes off his.
“I know a lot of men in our line of work don’t think much about children. But we’ve already talked about this a little bit. I’ve always wanted them. More than one. I want my kids to have siblings they can be close to for the rest of their lives. And when I thought I was going to die, that’s what I most regretted.”
The air seemed to spark between them. Piper’s hand tightened on Ace’s leg, and she couldn’t look away from him. She could totally see Ace with babies. He’d be protective and gentle, while teaching them to be strong, that they could achieve whatever they put their minds to. Yeah, he’d make an amazing father.
Gumby broke the intimate spell surrounding Piper and Ace with his question to Bubba. “What about you, man? If you were to die today, what would you regret?”
Bubba didn’t even have to think about his answer. He immediately said, “Not fixing my relationship with my pop.”
“He lives in Alaska, right?” Rex asked.
“Yeah. In Juneau. You can’t drive there, there aren’t any roads in or out. You have to fly in or take a boat. I hated that town and got out as soon as I could. But he loves it, and after my mom died when I was little, he refused to leave because that’s where he said he felt closest to her. My twin brother, Malcom, still lives there too.”
“You should call your dad when you get back,” Piper said. “Life is too short for regrets.”
Bubba smiled at her. “Maybe I will.”
“Good.”
“What about you, Rex?” Rocco asked.
“I don’t have too many regrets,” Rex said. “But I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t just admire the nurse I’ve seen around base from afar anymore.”
“Which one?” Ace asked.
“Avery.”
“The tall redhead with the freckles?” Gumby asked.
“That’s her. I’ve seen her around the hospital on base. She’s cute.”
“Cute?” Piper said with a little scrunch of her nose. “Here’s a tip—I’m not sure any woman wants to be called cute. Pretty, beautiful, strong, efficient, or any number of other adjectives. But ‘cute’ makes most of us feel as if we’re eight and wearing pigtails.”
Rex chuckled. “Noted. Thanks.”
“Phantom?” Bubba asked. “What about you? Any regrets?”
“Yeah,” the mostly silent man said. “Not taking the extra thirty seconds it would’ve required to get Kalee out of that hole and bring her with us.”
And with that bombshell, Phantom stood and stalked off into the dark jungle behind him.
No one said a word after he left, as if they weren’t sure what to say. Piper stared down at her hands, now back in her lap, and bit her lip, doing her best not to cry. She’d tried to take Ace’s advice and not blame herself for Kalee’s death, but it was really hard, especially knowing Phantom probably blamed her and the girls for not being able to complete his mission.
Surprisingly, Kemala was the one to break the silence. “I wish I no yell at my mother the day she die, and I was sent to home.”
Everyone turned to stare at the teenager in shock, but it was Ace who acted. He quickly stood and walked to the other side of the fire and knelt down next to the girl. “Your mom was killed?”
Kemala nodded. “Father was mad.”
Piper could see a muscle in Ace’s jaw clenching even from where she sat. “He sent you to the orphanage?”
She nodded again. “But I happy. He was mean. Mother was nice.”
Ace reached out slowly and ran a hand over Kemala’s head. “I’m sorry, baby. That had to be hard.”
She swallowed and nodded. “But you men do not hit.”
Ace kept his hand on her head, and it seemed as if they were the only people in the world at that moment. “A good man never hits his children. Or his wife. Or any woman. You deserve better, Kemala. Always remember that. It’s better to be alone than to be with a man who hurts you.”
“Marry is goal,” she whispered.
Ace shook his head. “No, it’s not. You can live a good life without being married if that’s what you want. Do not let a man hit you. It’s not right. You are worth more than that.”
Piper was crying now. It was the most she’d heard Kemala speak, and what she was saying was heartbreaking. But the way Ace was doing his best to make sure the girl valued herself was making her just as teary-eyed.
Beckett Morgan was meant to be a father. He’d make a hell of a good one if his actions toward Kemala, Sinta, and Rani were any indication.
“He’s right,” Rocco added. “Any man who uses his fists to get what he wants is bad.”
Piper knew he was keeping his words simple for Kemala’s sake.
Kemala turned her head, looked across the firelight at Piper and said, “Life in city is hard. Too many men. No choice for Kemala.” Her eyes were dead, there was no emotion there whatsoever.
Piper’s tears fell faster, and the guilt felt as if it would smother her. She understood what Kemala was saying. Right before the shit hit the fan and the rebels attacked the orphanage, Kalee and the director of the orphanage were having a discussion about how lucky they were to be up in the mountains, because the girls in the cities didn’t have as many choices about their future. Since they had no families, they were basically given to any man who made a healthy “donation” to the overcrowded orphanages.
It was wrong and sickening, and Piper had been glad that while life was hard up in the mountains, at least it didn’t involve being sold off to whatever man decided he wanted a child bride.
Kemala had obviously heard that conversation as well. And as she was nearing the age where most girls were married off, she knew what awaited her in the city.
Closing her eyes, Piper dropped her head. She felt so bad for Kemala. She wanted to tell the teenager that she wished to adopt her. To bring her back to the States so she didn’t have to worry about getting married to a man she didn’t love. But she had no idea if she’d be able to manage it. The last thing she wanted to do was raise the girl’s hopes, only to have to disappoint her later.
Piper’s gaze returned to Rani and Sinta sleeping soundly nearby. Them too. They still had a few years, probably, before they were sent to live with some strange man.
Ace didn’t say anything, simply sat on the ground next to Kemala and pulled her into his embrace. Surprisingly, the girl allowed it and rested her
head on Ace’s chest. No one spoke after that. There was nothing to say.
After a while, the men got up and headed for the scouting points they’d scoped out before the sun went down. They’d keep watch tonight just like they had the night before. Even though the danger wasn’t as great where they were, no one was taking any chances.
Ace got up and put out the fire, and then held out his hand to Piper. She took it, and he helped her stand and led her over to Rani and Sinta. Just like the night before, he lay down and arranged Piper on his chest. Kemala settled herself a little ways away.
Piper’s mind spun. The spark inside her that had wanted to find a way to keep the girls was stronger now. It wouldn’t be easy, she might have to spend several weeks in the capital trying to figure out the red tape and to get the documents necessary to take the girls back to the United States…but she couldn’t shake the feeling that they were meant to be hers.
After hearing Kemala’s words tonight, simply dropping the three girls off at an orphanage in the city was seeming less and less like a viable option.
It was insane. She was a thirty-two-year-old single woman. Although she made a decent salary, she lived in a two-bedroom apartment. She couldn’t rely on her elderly grandparents to help her, as they were using every penny of their social security to pay for the retirement community they’d moved into a few years ago.
It was crazy to be contemplating adopting the girls, but now that the seed had been planted even deeper, she couldn’t shake the feeling that it was the right thing to do. For Kalee, whose last act had been to save them; for Mr. Solberg, who would want any kind of connection to his lost daughter he could get; and for the girls themselves.
“What are you thinking about so hard?” Ace asked quietly.
Piper merely shrugged. She didn’t want him to try to talk her out of it or give her empty promises about making sure the girls would be left somewhere safe. At the moment, she felt a lot like she imagined Phantom must’ve felt, looking down at Kalee in that hole.
