by Tony Duvert
a sky-blue pull-over crew neck stretched too loose he got up by striding backward over the piano stool and I can make out his balls so pinkish with just a tinge of yellow the color of an ermine during its summer pelage peeking out from each side of that narrow crotch he casually tucks them back into his briefs which sag now with sweat dampness forming upon the leather stool two long stains like a pair of brackets and joining them at the bottom but turned over on its side the epsilon of his ass
disappointed that the forbidden city which is this forbidden room should contain nothing but a stain upon the parquet floor becomes blood and all along one of the walls there were embedded iron rings where why have they shut me up in here they certainly weren’t afraid I’d escape from the dormitory they set me apart from the boys because they would have yes killed me a wing of the house turret with a cornice ledge of false machicolations and tiny shrubs orange and purple blossoms trumpet-shaped we pick them inserting into the cleft between each two fingers a flower hands suddenly so Chinese with their green and clawlike peduncles and alongside the turret on the ground floor a glassed-in gallery portico of multicolored panes unfurnished we cross through it only in order to reach the toilet behind it’s the nearest one when we’re playing in the park but we’re not allowed to use it because this wing of the chateau is not kept up still the water flushes or anyway it did you have to bring your own paper of course this toilet being nothing more than a hole in the cement floor you stand above it crouching straddling but for a long time now the hole has been plugged with turds that also bespatter most of the surrounding cement you can hear from in there quite clearly the piano that the directress plays things without tunes very modern she invents them all herself as for us we much prefer singing loudly the songs everybody knows long cigars of brown have been trampled on so much you no longer know where to put your feet so you set a piece of newspaper down over the turds that look the most dry and you crouch there but always careful to keep your ass quite high in the air or else it’ll scrape against that brown pyramid and all the while your feet sliding more unctuously than in mud or sand you wipe your ass quickly and run outside again those huge green horseflies sucking away at your asshole even while you grunt and strain moving your cheeks a bit tightening dilating tightening those horseflies tickling stinging enough to drive a fellow mad turds dark brown black white chocolate caramel or even a dark green after spinach for supper not many turds those nights and more like a puree the next morning cramps in the afternoon from all those green fruits we swiped
they didn’t take the path that passed down below between that embankment rising up on both sides they were unaware of this inland sea without beaches without boats I venture far beyond the unknown unknowable house I stare at it once more its shutters seem to have been shut for years it contains other houses each of which contains still others within it I never dared say aloud standing before it that word house I saw a door a wall a huge frame stretched out dozing it had no exterior
to turn my back on that which I didn’t dare name no sea either nor ocean a kind of ending jumping-off place since the land stops abruptly here impossible impassable emptiness vacuum that the water rushing in filled to overflowing and I refuse to take on the dizzying slope that opens out below I wandered warily around its rim sought a sign aslant some wooden board FOR SALE there was a colonnade there topped by some angel demon child woman antique work of art elegant drapery folds delineating a gown of weather-beaten stone the colonnade forming an angle with that part of the façade which projects from the main body of the edifice the roof almost flat here I try to remember that statue it’s not on this side this one facing the boats and beach whorls of spiral sea wrack black fucus spiralis olive green fuck us
ten fingers gloved in flowers splayed he plays at being an evil sorcerer his hands disguised as flower stems mask his face create that kind of panic he enjoys and spreads raising vegetal claws talons of tubers I believe him capable of tearing my body to shreds later withered corollas flutter from his fingers whose tips are all smudged with yellow pollen twenty little devils hurl themselves upon one disarmed adult they hadn’t explored the cellars beneath the chateau yet although they must certainly have been immense they frightened the littlest kids by telling them they would get lost down there forever whenever they seemed a bit too curious getting on our nerves badgering us without stopping instead of playing out there in the fields among themselves they seem to need us even though they bawl and whimper at the slightest slap or if you take away from them no matter what a ping-pong ball say or a crummy domino or some jacks even a rotting cherry you have to spend the next hour or so comforting them or else they’ll explode into another hailstorm of tears oh the power in those tiny lungs that’s what they rely on of course to get whatever they want and then that very night sleep like little angels in order to regain the strength they’ll need the next morning to start their screaming act all over again you can hear them five miles off some mornings all of them the same a band of squalling brats rats they covered him completely those rats had gnawed off all his clothes his shoes his skull starting with his ears he searches for his locomotive tender throughout the garden tears flowing a regular waterfall he’s holding in one hand his toy locomotive an old wind-up kind with a twisted spring but what a horrible racket it makes able to climb up a flight of stairs more stubborn even than any donkey or mule there are three coach cars attached behind which doesn’t even slow it down a bit I know where your tender is I tell him tenderly the others have hidden it on you and of course he starts in screaming again hurling himself upon the nearest boy who holds him off by swinging a fist slam-bang into his tiny belly which only makes him scream all the louder of course that sound more shrill more penetrating than any train whistle I’ve ever heard they must have hidden inside their frail little bodies another person violent shrews harpies ready to wail out their woe through those pouting cute little lips at the slightest upset we’d come to hate all these fucking brats by now would have preferred an entire new group of kids who didn’t go around all day pissing tears all over us this one’s in pain no longer to judge by the way he furiously hurls his treasured locomotive against a cellar window the glass breaks and the toy disappears inside serves him right
I shall live here until the end nobody will ever know I won’t make any light I don’t have anything for that anyway I wish only to die here secure from all their stares and from that sky as soon as I cross the threshold I need to loosen my pants there where a cut on my leg throbs bleeding a lot now the red liquid flowing down all the way to the floor where I leave my traces I walk along these tiles some of them already bright red before my coming and I flood them for such a long period of time that they are no longer the neutral floor of some uninhabited foyer but my own body also naked flayed alive deflated like some punctured balloon I don’t visit any of the rooms remaining here where I can make out a vegetable garden all gone to seed days succeeding each other slowly and I have this abhorrent spectacle of self before me always I shut once more the door of the entrance hall the light seems still too violent and the humanity of the place unbearable I finally find the stairs leading down into the cellar stumbling down there where the dead ones are but I shall see what they can’t see I will know the night and the stinking breaths of cadavers impeding my own respiration there is some image I can make out above the radiator a steamship two red smokestacks a row of portholes sparkling the entire length of its black flank and others too in the superstructure as white as spats or gentlemen’s summer outfits portholes white buttons on navy blue blazer jackets of wealthy passengers I am in love with this boat so wildly I take it down from the wall to admire it without tiring myself so much but as soon as I have the glass frame close to my nose I turn it over face down upon the floor I don’t give a shit for steamships I loved the wall it had until now concealed from me the wall now laid bare I love no more I finger the cast-iron radiator and after a quarter of an hour I’ve the impression it’s hotter this house must still be inhabit
ed they’ll make me ashamed of all that blood I’ve spilled all over their lovely floor they’ll take care of me maybe it might be wise to adopt a certain tone and demand yes demand not beg for a bit of soup but seven or eight kids in the pink of health all well-dressed suddenly come hurtling down the staircase laughing they stop short shocked to see me there in their house voices fading faces hardening they’re ready to call their parents or whatever nothing bothers me so much as being almost but not quite strong enough to stand on my own two feet each of them sails into my skull with clenched fists or else bangs it against the radiator I’m already feeling a salutary pain a dizziness that will permit me at least to sleep again I am dreaming this idle dream even as that gang comes nearer nearer they point down at all that blood upon the tiles I slide happily among them oh so effortlessly knowing nothing more pretty boys cruel boys
two of them in swimsuits hanging from the crossbeam of the elaborate gym apparatus one upon the trapeze head swinging low the other gripping two steel rings executing a series of pull-ups contraction of thin arms stretching each immature muscle each rib in high relief tendons taut bones protruding stretching the skin so tightly their ends flay the dermis from beneath then both arms open outward stretch with the same spontaneous slowness the boy’s two feet finding the ground once more and his whole body recomposes resettles into a tenderness both aqueous and pale a third boy hoists himself up a long knotted rope wrapping one leg around it entire torso swinging away from it horizontally making a right angle with the rope both arms stretched outward like the two wings of an airplane as the rope turns round and round uncoiling upon itself causing him to pivot so gracefully a fourth boy who must be very strong and very nimble with handsome shoulders and a handsome ass walks along the grass on his hands and between his forked thighs a little kid poses the edge of one hand like a slicer I eat through both hand and rumpled shorts the boy shouts for the kid to for chrissakes stop it or he’ll lose his balance then he gets truly angry and does a quick somersault landing on his feet as adeptly as any cat and races after the little brat he is so sure of his own strength he can afford not to get excited grabbing the kid by both ears and lifting him quite easily several inches off the ground Now you’ll have ass ears for the rest of your life that should teach you he says sketching in the air two huge elongated appendages on each side of the kid’s head and of course the brat starts screaming oh I almost forgot another kid the one who hoisted himself up a smooth rope no knots not using his legs at all simply a single hand I must have forgotten him because it’s impossible to do except by alternating hands and this boy used only one his right hand the ropes and rings trapeze and things all attached to that crossbeam by heavy hooks twisted like corkscrews
||
||
||
||
||
||
I’m going to fetch the prisoner he’s in that chicken coop by the house hope he won’t put up too much of a fight they trust me for I’m their policeman beefy build and all that
round table wrought iron legs marble top a donkey tethered to an old stone wall all covered with pink flowers guys sitting around that table waiting waiting he’ll be judged then condemned finally executed
let the accused rise have you anything to say in your own behalf Lulu? I am judge will choose what tortures but first we have to invent what crimes Lulu looks so small so pitiful I’m a bit ashamed to tell you the truth he stands facing me kept in check by the policeman who keeps twisting his arm we’d really have a shit-fit if he suddenly started turning on the waterworks blubbering all over everyone but he just stands there eyebrows squashed together a look of reproach you might even say of malevolence darkening his fat puss
I whisper into Simon’s ear Say he pinched my jackknife I’ll bear you out
all right Lulu pinched his jackknife
liar I didn’t pinch anything and tell him to stop pinching me
how come it was under your pillow then?
somebody must have put it there you’re all liars the judge perched high on a pine branch made certain his legs were secure then let his torso fall backward head swinging back and forth upside down You were seen Lulu! he’s chomping on an ice cream bar as he sways You ate our eskimo bar wrappings the ones containing state secrets we all heard you what a time you had getting them down your gullet
the victim in a rowboat approaches the tribunal sitting cross-legged on the beach Sioux powwow many braves He ate my cock my rock my socks my jocks the boy rowing calls out Not to mention he fucks ducks and sucks trucks adds one of the semicircle Lulu turns around then and shows them all his fat ass Liars liars liars! cheeks arching outward ejecting imaginary turds in their direction oh my stomach feels all funny all that ice cream still swishing around coca-cola bubbling too in all that blubber sour sallowness of regurgitated vanilla
let the accused state his full name age occupation permanent address the judge blond hair flying gives a tug to the elastic band of his briefs reaching inside bringing forth elasticky sweets saltwatertaffy marshmallows bubblegum snap stretch pop
no I’m not sick to my stomach no nobody stole anything from me says Lulu
if the accused speaks once more out of turn I’m going to shove his tongue up my ass so silence in the court! and now will the accused step forward Simon has already traced a magic circle in the sand Jump inside Lulu and Lulu jumps Now you won’t ever be able to get out again
yes I will yes I will Lulu snickers minces dances starts crossing the line or at least pretends to you’re not allowed you’re bewitched that’s one of the rules of the game if you cross that line you’re dead I’m the attorney for the defense I say I submit your honor that Lulu has hairs growing out of his asshole
the judge perplexed That’s a very serious charge he is still hanging down from his trapeze I expected them to play by the rules but they were already thinking of ruining the game Simon has the longest cock so he’s already feeling smug since he knows how it’s all going to end the idiot rowing the boat lets it run aground cries out Help I’m being swept out into the deadly quicksands it’s Lulu who’s causing it his evil eye! and one of the braves sets upon Lulu who immediately sets up a howl
no one’s allowed inside my magic circle!
for once the prisoner is correct says Simon he performs a half-somersault legs deserting the cross-bough soles landing smartly sending up a cloud of sand that thing inside his bright green briefs is already very long and swelling more and more you can make out the entire outline by now
what are the prisoner’s crimes? I ask the braves who scratch their chins cheeks necks Aw come on now it can’t be all that hard what’s he done huh?
fucked an ostrich when its head was hidden in the sand suggests one voice followed by a lot of giggling
killed a flea
broke a nut broke both my nuts
ran and ran and ran
yeah for five minutes nonstop and then he stopped
and he never washes those feet of his
eats his own toe jam
pissed up in the air twice
none of his ten fingers match
his nose has two big holes in it
he’s called Lulu isn’t that crime enough?
yeah
he’s got three hands you can’t notice it because he only uses two at the same time
and three pricks and he whacks all three off at once with those three hands
that’s more than enough Simon cries slapping his bare thigh with the palm of one hand for silence Lulu you’ve heard all the charges how do you plead?
not guilty Lulu smirks defiantly sticking out his tongue and thumbing his nose it was midnight a child on the deserted strand traced a circle with the tip of one foot water lapping water night flowing flooding behind him sand and also sand before him and to his left my dinghy a boat I’d taken from the garage of one of the villas it had two oars locked in two oarlocks and two wheels too beneath I have two arms locked into my torso muscular vascular bony
I pushed pulled pulled pushed what a wild trip on those wheels clattering all the way down to the beach I sat in the stern and rowed once over the rise of the hill he stares up at the full moon standing in the center of that circle he has drawn to invoke it or them nothing else stirring in this sterile night my final night without end my final hours that have no afterward and revolve snake devouring its own tail time is circular always alive forever dying never dead the child crouches down suddenly emits a tiny cry more like a puppy’s yelp suddenly seeing me standing there trembling with fright he knows he shouldn’t call out to me a stranger yet he does I come closer but that circle prevents me from touching him so I prowl round and round its rim fearful frontier and little by little my movements stir up the sand effacing that protective barrier the boy hasn’t noticed it yet so mute and wild he keeping revolving round and round following my own circular tread and finally his hand will lightly brush my hand or my elbow or my chin doesn’t really matter which part of the body adults touch of those kids crossing before them on the sidewalk let me pass sonny respect your elders young man mussing their hair tenderly quick furtive feel elsewhere maybe but the nasty little bugger buggee you try to paw has already eluded you dashing who knows the hell where fuck your own needs but this one here now sits astride my chest where I have fallen and in gratitude I close my eyes entire body dissolving in his sweetness of soft skin kissable cheeks eyelids that blink soft tactile my face my belly beneath his buttocks would have eyelids too to flutter and cheeks to be kissed the night comes down a long moment when nothing moves the sun’s chariot long gone below the horizon drowned in that india ink sea and we two invented ourselves within that blackness and upon this sand which is no earth no surety at all
