by Tony Duvert
a black crab pinched one of my fingers I didn’t want to catch crabs you can’t eat crabs raw he won’t let go I shake my hand back and forth shouting Hey that’s enough you shit-ass now stop that! you have to shout if you want to protect yourself these days I walk back to the rowboat where I left all my clothes putting them back on because of the cold they have a dormitory and each a separate bed except for those who are married then they have one big bed between them they told me that Married and I said You mean buddies don’t you? and they looked funny and said Yeah that’s right buddies
too much wind I leave the beach heading toward those faraway lights twinkling beyond the dunes crossing empty fields riddled road I skirt along some dark silent gardens the road is very straight here it moves farther and farther away from the sea
finally a few houses farms barns then once again nothing only black clumps of pine trees rising up like fists somber open country stretching out on all sides when this road becomes a highway I leave it I prefer something less wide something with a footpath running alongside
cemetery crosses you can see them cadaverously white against that inky sky beyond a tall stone wall I move very fast now feeling scared like I always do when passing such places far ahead I can make out a dark forest or is it maybe a city with all its lights out well I won’t go there so I settle myself here in the lee of a tall pile of stones as good a place as any around here
I could arrange them one by one on top of each other and build myself a nice little house there would be a door or maybe no door since I could easily stride over the walls to get inside no windows either since there won’t be a roof
right here my bed and over there my table I set on top of it whatever I find to eat I’ve a knife a whistle a tin soldier zouave algerian infantryman with all his paint peeling off I found him floating in a gutter I set all three knife whistle soldier upon my table see I have toys too I’ll put my clothes there alongside them too and pull out from under my pillow my pajamas they’re dark blue like the sky it’s going to rain soon I remember a piece of plastic floating in the wind skimming the ground just before I passed the cemetery I should go back maybe and try to find it
one more row of stones and then another row on top of that but with the plastic caught between it’s an empty fertilizer sack shiny black with green letters so now see I’ve a roof as well I tell myself how good it is to be comfortably stretched out on a soft bed when it’s pouring outside so I stretch myself out my bed is soft too since the ground is already muddy I would have been better off in that cemetery there might have been some cabin or some hole dug for somebody but I never dare come that close to the dead
try once more to imagine how I’m falling asleep
I raise the middle of the plastic using my head for a pole and this way the water can no longer flow inside my house they’ve finished supper by now they must be staring out at the rain watching it hit against the windowpanes as for me I can’t see it at all I won’t allow it to come inside
much easier to steal things in the country than down by the sea it’s easier to find shelter too and some people even talk to you now and then but they always seem astonished Why sonny whatever are you doing here? I don’t have a mean air nothing sinister about my eyes so they sometimes even break off the end of one of those long thin loaves they’ve just bought at the bakery and hand it to me it’s so good when it’s still warm like that crackles as you bite into its golden crust
in the forest I wouldn’t have received anything but lightning bolts up my ass I’m no longer so afraid of thunderstorms they seem so alive and wild but then they die like everything else and when the sky opens up afterward it’s always so much prettier than before you feel like singing and playing getting more and more cold by the minute but I won’t let my teeth chatter the minute the top gum comes down to meet the bottom one I yawn and I start all over again imagining that I’m already fast asleep I imagine how it’s winter there’s a bright shimmer to the snow the people who pass by will finally notice me they’ll have to talk to me so I’ll lie down here purposely pretending all morning long and all afternoon too until night comes down so long as people are still passing by it’s not too late and snow doesn’t kill I once had a fine donkey but it’s dead now I went several days without eating during that time long ago but it was because I didn’t feel hungry he no longer has a name I don’t know anymore he doesn’t answer
lightning cracks spits splits I can make out each separate sliver through my black plastic roof the storm won’t stop here but will move out over the sea gathering strength along the way luxury liners tramp steamers freighters trawlers sailboats tugs I know them all am them all in that terrible tempest the passengers taking shelter below decks sailors holding on to handrails of perilously swaying ladders we are not afraid we say to those frightened people below It’s only a northeaster it’ll be over soon so don’t get your bowels in an uproar and then we mates all have a good laugh together in order not to have to puke over the sides
it’s because of those sails I came here in the first place because on the river the other boys sail their boats I made one too out of a red plank and a pole for a mast and some twine for rigging the current swept it away I’ll find it again and perhaps we’ll travel just the two of us someday and the river carried it out to sea all the way to the ocean it’s so far away already somewhere else bobbing in bright sunlight upon green waves far far away moving toward the isles the happy isles
