by A. M. Brooks
“Uh, yeah,” Trent agreed with me, shifting in his seat again.
I sensed Shea was confused by what was going on. It was like a light bulb went off when she put the information together. “Shit!” she said quickly, looking between all of us. “Nora, I’m so sorry. Of course you aren’t going. I feel like an idiot.”
I shrugged. “Don’t feel bad, Shea,” I told her, shaking my head. “Honestly guys, I get it. It is a big deal to Araminta. You should go if you want to.”
“You sure?” Trent asked, looking at me worriedly.
I laughed. “Positive,” I told him, trying to smile.
“Well, I really won’t be there,” Olivia said. “I have to work again.”
“Again?” Shea asked, looking upset.
“Yup,” Olivia answered. “Because some people ask off for every game night like the rest of us don’t have lives.”
“Hate that,” Trent said, giving Olivia a high-five.
“Want to catch the bus together Trent?” Shea asked, turning to him. His face lit up.
“Definitely!” he said before high-fiving Shea too. I couldn’t stop the giggle that left my mouth.
“You guys have fun,” I told them, still smiling before getting up to head to gym. I wanted to get there early enough to have time by myself to change and get one of the locked lockers.
As usual, the locker room was quiet while I changed. I rolled my clothes neatly in a ball and shoved them in a locker before clamping the lock tight. Feeling confident, I strolled out to the gym and warmed up while waiting for the rest of the class to arrive Fortunately, we had a substitute for the day who called it a free day before wheeling out cages of basketballs and footballs. Most of the girls sat on the bleachers talking about the game. Deciding I would be too restless if I sat, I walked laps the entire forty minutes. Everyone was happy when the bell rang signaling the end of the period I decided to stay behind to help clean up and ensure most of the locker room would be empty before quickly using the shower and changing. I made that mistake before and was going to do my best to avoid any more humiliation.
My nerves sizzled as I walked into the locker bay area after my shower. An eerie silence greeted me. I ran to the locker I had picked earlier, my heart hammering in my chest. I grabbed for the lock noticing it had been popped open already.
“No,” I whimpered, throwing the door open.
My gym clothes and the outfit I had worn today were gone, except for my bra and underwear. I clutched the towel tighter as I stumbled back to the showers. They were completely empty, no piles of wet clothes laid anywhere. Groaning, I checked the bathroom stalls. I pushed each door open to check and see if my clothes had been submerged. There was nothing. I frantically checked every line of lockers but came up empty-handed. My heart was beating rapidly, my chest was rising and falling making it harder to breathe. I squatted to my knees cradling my head in my hands as I tried to calm myself before the anxiety ate me alive.
“No,” I whispered to myself unable to believe this was happening. How had I let this happen?
I had been overly protective of my clothes in gym. Not once in the last few weeks had there been an issue. Now I realized they had wanted me to be comfortable, to slip up even a little. I wracked my brain trying to remember if I had locked the lock all the way after changing before I showered. Standing straight, I realized this had been planned. It made me sick a group of girls would want to humiliate another girl this way. I was pissed. Anger coursed through my body. Blindly, I threw open the locker door and took off my towel. I changed back into the neon pink bra and panty set I had worn today, the only scraps of clothes that had been left in the room besides my Converse. The three-minute bell rang, but the sound was muffled by the blood coursing through my ears as my heart lurched in my chest. I didn’t give it another thought before taking a deep breath I stepped out into the hallway. They wanted a show, I’d give them a fucking show.
Catcalls and whistles instantly greeted me. I held my head high as I began the long walk toward my school locker, knowing I had a jacket in there. I kept my gaze focused, ignoring the phones pointed in my direction and ignoring the crude comments hurled at me.
“The fuck!” His voice rang out loudly, pulling me from my daze. Warm hands wrapped around my shoulders pulling my front flush against his body, hiding me from their eyes.
“What are you doing?” His voice was low and gravelly, but he spoke just to me. Tears sprang to my eyes, the first crack in the hardened demeanor I had been projecting.
“My clothes were gone,” I told him, my voice quiet as I held in the pain and rage. He looked down at me, his gaze clear. He wasn’t high at the moment. I felt another body right behind me as soft material was being shoved into my hands. I looked back and saw Ethan before taking the basketball shorts from him. He wasn’t looking at me though. His eyes were trained on everyone watching us, and the phones that were most likely recording our every move.
“D,” Ethan said, grabbing his attention. Darrian’s head snapped up, taking in everything, piecing together what had happened and why. Quickly, I stepped into the shorts and whipped the hair tie off my wrist, wrapping it around the extra material so they didn’t slide right off.
“Fuck,” Darrian mumbled, as he began loosening his tie. The tick in his jaw jumped when he looked at me again, catching me watching him. The buttons on his dress shirt were pried apart as he slid the material down his arms before he handed it to me. I quickly shoved my arms in, secretly enjoying the warmth that enveloped me, as I buttoned the front up to my throat. Of course the shirt hung past my ass and I rolled the sleeves up, but at least there was a barrier over my body. Granted, my underwear covered as much as a swimsuit would have. Except the material had been thinner and I didn’t care what anyone said, there was something intimate about people seeing you in your underwear as opposed to in a swimsuit.
“Take her to class,” Darrian said to Ethan, though he was no longer looking at me. Our audience had grown quiet. Ethan wrapped an arm around my shoulders as he led me away. A path was created for us, bodies stepped to the side out of his way. He walked with me all the way to History, guarding me, shielding me. The tension in my body had suddenly run out. I kept my head down ignoring the continued stares.
When we reached the door, I expected Ethan to turn and leave me. Instead, he hugged me to him, burying my head in his shoulder.
“I’m so sorry,” he breathed against my hair. I stiffened. He pulled away, not meeting my questioning gaze and held the door open for me. I walked in and went right to my seat.
“Sorry she’s late,” Ethan announced to Mr. Brusk, the whole room turned to look at Ethan. “I ran into her on accident with my lunch tray.”
“Uh.” Mr. Brusk looked at me like he wanted me to confirm this. Instead, I sunk lower in my seat, my face turning crimson. “Okay,” Mr. Brusk said, sounding bored. Satisfied, Ethan left the room.
Mr. Brusk continued his lecture, only I didn’t take notes. I sat unable to unwind my arms from around myself, fearing if I did, I would break apart and all my emotions would spill over the floor. I stared at my desk, boring holes into the wood feeling the anger and resentment flood through me. Why had he saved me? Each time I heard a vibration or muffled text notification I cringed. I could only imagine the social media posts this stunt was going to get me. I blinked back tears counting the seconds and minutes until I could escape this building.
The bell was a relief to my senses. Ignoring everyone I passed, I rushed to my locker and grabbed my bag and jacket.
“Nora!” I heard Lily yell behind me but kept walking. I rushed down the front stairs when I felt her hand on my arm. “Come on I’ll drive you.” Sniffling, I follow her as she sped walked to her car. We both jumped in. She had the engine going before I’d even buckled my seatbelt. Neither of us speaks when she drives away. Finally, my tears are free-running mascara lines down my cheeks.
“Want me to stay?” Lily asked quietly as we pull up my driveway. I shake my
head knowing I just want to be alone.
“Will you be okay?” She watched me worriedly.
“Yeah, thank you,” I told her before climbing from the car and racing toward the front door. The minute it’s closed behind me I can’t stop my knees from buckling. My body slides to the floor.
Unaware of my surroundings I jump at the pounding on the door. Three quick knocks cause me to jump up and brush the hair from my face. Opening the door my heart thunders in my chest as Darrian eyes me up and down. It’s as if he can see the internal damage to my heart and my pride. His jaw ticks before he points at my shirt.
“I need my shirt back,” he told me. Just like that, the energy in the air crackles and I’m embarrassed again. Of course he is only here for his shirt. Being at my house had nothing to do with the way he hurt me or the way he ended up coming to my defense in the hall. Angry with myself again I can’t help the laugh that tears out of my chest.
“Of fucking course,” I said, stepping back into the entry before ripping the shirt off over my head. “Here,” I said, throwing it at him. “And here, give these to your fucking wonderful cousin as well.” I slipped the shorts down my legs before throwing them at him too. Enraged, I yank the door shut. Before I can feel satisfied by the slamming noise, Darrian is pushing the door back. His body closing in on mine as the door clicks behind him.
“Get out,” I gritted my teeth, and shove him. His back hits the door taking my body with him as we collide.
“Get—” My words are swallowed when his mouth descended on mine. His arms wrapped around me, one anchored at the back of my head and the other around my waist. His fingers dug into my exposed skin as my tongue fought his. My body quit fighting his and clung to his strength. He must have felt when I gave up because he pulled away breathing hard. His forehead laid on mine his hands wrapped around my neck.
“Everything is going to be fine,” he whispered, leaving open mouth kisses across my cheeks, tasting my tears, and down my neck, to where my collarbone and shoulder meet. I want to believe him. My eyes are squeezed shut listening to him promise me things will be okay, how beautiful I am, he fucked up, it will never happen again...
I pull away, still sniffling. “You need to go,” I said, wrapping my arms around myself. I’m freaking standing in my entryway in my underwear and without Darrian pressed against me there is definitely a chill in the air.
“Nora,” he started, reaching out to touch me again. I stepped back.
“You have a game tonight,” I reminded him, still not making eye contact. His head hung down, his hand rubbing at the base of his neck.
“Yeah,” I heard him say as he slides his shirt back on.
“Good luck,” I tell him honestly because as much as the back and forth stuff with us sucks and is painful, I still want him to succeed. I still want good things for him.
Before I can step back, his hand is wrapped around the back of my neck, tangling with my hair, as he connects our lips in a hard kiss. My hands are suspended in the air, but before I can decide to push or pull, he stepped back again before walking out the door. Frozen, my brain tried to comprehend what just happened. The sound of his tires peeling out of my driveway breaks me from my trance. I quickly lock the door before running to my room. A hot shower and my bed are calling my name. The need to hide and pretend the whole day never happened sounds like a good idea. My head hurts as I step under the scalding spray. I don’t know how long I stand there letting the shame rinse off my skin and flow down the drain with my screwed up heart.
Ravens won 85-79. My cell phone had lit up all night with texts and video from the game. Of course Darrian was a lead scorer and shattered the school record from 1996. Every time the screen lit up, I couldn't help myself. I looked. It had been a very intense game. Araminta was going to the state championship game tomorrow.
I was emotionally exhausted lying in bed after my alarm had gone off a few times. I knew school was going to be pointless today for the most part. The high from beating Athlos would rule the entire day. I doubted most of the students would be at school on time even. It had been the biggest event of the school year according to social media and a few blog posts were already up and running. I laid back in my pillows as I debated if I really wanted to go today. At least the win over the rival school had outshined my moment of insanity in the news. One text from Lily dings on my phone.
Lily: CALL ME!!
"Ugh." With my arm rested over my eyes I tried to banish the memories from yesterday. I actually walked the halls practically naked. Surprisingly I hadn’t received any hate mail yet, but I attributed that to the winning game. It was only a matter of time before the vultures swept back in. My chest tightened just thinking about it.
“Hey.” My dad knocked before opening the door a little.
“Come in,” I told him, sitting up against the pillows.
“Heard your team won last night,” he said, resting his shoulder against my door frame.
“I heard,” I said, holding my cell phone out.
“Are you not feeling good?” he asked, concern etched across his face.
“Just tired,” I tell him, looking away. He is not good with the mushy feelings stuff.
“Okay,” he said, not pushing for more information. His hand gripped the doorknob. “Well, I don’t have to go in ‘til later today. If you want a ride, I can drop you off. Unless you’d rather take the bus?”
And just like that, my hopes of skipping are thrown out the window. I look around my room taking inventory of how quick I could be ready. Honestly, I could care less at this point what I look like today.
“Fifteen?” I asked.
“Sounds good.” He closed the door behind him. Huffing, I lay back one more time.
“You can do this Nora. You are stronger than them,” I told myself, a mantra running through my head. I will not cry today.
If my dad was shocked by my appearance, he didn’t say anything about it. Our drive in had been pretty quiet because honestly, I wasn’t up for small talk. I was more preoccupied with surviving the day and wondering when my escapade would hit social media. By eight am when we pulled up to the school, there were still no new notifications. Nonetheless, I scrambled out of the vehicle quickly, ignoring my dad’s goodbye as I swiftly pulled up the hood of my jacket. I was right about one thing, the school looked like the after-party happened on the front steps. Red silly string hung from the trees and decorated the Raven sculpture out front. I looked down at my shoe and noticed a large clump was stuck to it from the ground. A huge banner hung over the front doors “State, Here we come!” More of the player posters lined the inside walls.
I sighed with relief when I arrived at my locker. Carefully, I spun the dial and opened the door slowly. Nothing. Nothing fell out or decorated the inside like before. This had to be a joke. I looked around, waiting, expecting something bigger. I had walked out in my underwear for fuck’s sake. One sweep up and down the halls with my eyes told me nobody was paying attention. My arrival hadn’t fazed them. I stood at my locker like a sheep for slaughter yet there wasn’t a riot. What the hell? Taking advantage of this opportunity, I threw my books in my locker ready to head to class. I spun around and slammed into a solid frame.
“Jesus!” I leaped out of the way, ready to shield myself.
“Whoa!” Trent’s voice floated through the air toward me. “You okay?” His smile already had me feeling more at ease. His hands were out ready to steady me just in case.
I laughed at myself. “Fine, you just surprised me.”
“Sorry, just wanted to see how you were doing.”
“It’s fine,” I told him, sweeping the small tendrils of hair back that keep falling out of the messy bun resting on top of my head. “Looked like the game was exciting last night.”
“It was epic. Like only in our time will we see a game that good again.” His hands moved excitedly as he talked. I smiled. “Seriously though.” He looked down at me, concern written all over his face. “How are
you doing?”
I shrugged. So far today wasn’t what I had expected. I had been prepared for the absolute worst, but nothing had happened. No one had even looked at me wrong or really noticed me at all. Not in the mean ignoring way as in the past either which really had me confused. I felt more like I had been a student here forever and the day was just passing by like normal.
“So far, so good,” I told Trent my exact thoughts. So far everything was good.
As we walked down the halls, Trent gave me a play by play of the game. It sounded like it had been incredible to watch. When we got near the senior hallway, my muscles started to tense, my stomach flipping. I tried to keep my focus on Trent and what he was saying, but I couldn’t help my eyes as they darted everywhere looking for an ambush. Summer and Whitney rounded the corner laughing and caused me to stop dead in my tracks.
“Hey girl!” Whitney called as they passed by us and kept walking. Frozen, I watched them. I was completely unable to speak.
“That was weird,” Trent said, pulling my focus back to him.
“Yeah,” I breathed out. I felt him before I saw him. Tingles raced over my body, the back of my neck growing hot. “Let’s get going.” I tugged on Trent’s shirt, pulling him along.
It’s no use though, the minute I looked up our eyes clashed, and I couldn’t look away. Darrian watched me, while he leaned against his locker. He openly stared at me, his gaze raking from my beat-up Converse on my feet to the wild hair on my head. Suddenly, I wished I had cared a little more about what I was wearing today. My leggings felt a little too grungy and I pulled at the long hem of my hoodie nervously. It’s then I noticed Ethan and Elijah also stood by Darrian watching as I walked by with Trent. My cheeks blushed a little from the attention. Darrian’s eyes darkened the longer we stared at each other. Right then, things clicked into place and I suddenly felt terrified. I snapped my gaze away from his, practically running down the hall to my class. Trent’s long legs kept up, but I don’t miss the concern in his eyes. He thinks something bad is going to happen. He may be right.
