“What part of ‘fuck you’ didn’t get through your thick head?” I snarl. “Get away from me!
Leave me alone!!!”
“I can’t,” he says, once again locking his arms around my torso. I’m almost crushed against him, my breath cut off. I try to wiggle myself free, but there’s no way of getting out of this. He’s got me too tight, and I’m too damn tired to fight. “I’m sorry…”
“You sound like a broken record.”
I can’t look at him. I’m afraid. If my eyes find his, I’ll lose it. I won’t be able to control myself, and my self-loathing is at astronomical levels right now. He’s made me so weak. So pitiful. And now, he won’t let me go, either. Rhett is the epitome of sadism.
“That’s because I have nothing better to offer,” Rhett replies, putting all his constricting strength into one arm, so he can use his spare hand to gently caress my face. “I’m sorry, Elly. I’ve been awful. We’ve been awful, and you don’t deserve any of this shit, and I’ve pushed you too far… I can’t take it anymore… I’m sorry.”
Something warm drips on my cheek, his face so close to mine as he holds me tight. It’s a tear, but it’s not mine. His eyes are closed. He’s crying. He’s hugging me and crying, and I don’t know what to think anymore. I’m so fucking confused…
“What’s happening?” I manage, no longer standing but rather leaning into him.
Part of me has given up on everything, and my body is shutting down. I’m limp, relying solely on Rhett to hold me up. My instincts tell me to be wary but… my flesh does not listen.
He runs a hand through my hair. He’s so gentle, so delicate as he touches me. Opening his eyes, Rhett drops a soft kiss on my bruised cheek. “I’m sorry, Elly.”
I’m melting. Again. “I don’t get it…”
“I know, and I wish I could explain everything, but it’s too dangerous. As strange as it may sound, everything I’ve done has been for the purpose of protecting you,” Rhett says.
He’s right. It does sound strange, and the sweetness of this embrace is treacherous enough to resuscitate a part of me I thought I’d left back in the hallway earlier. I regain the strength in my legs and slowly push myself back.
“What are you talking about?” I ask, my voice low and cold.
“All of this,” Rhett replies, motioning around us. “It’s… It’s a stupid act because we couldn’t think of a better way to keep you safe. I… I should’ve known better. You’re too stubborn, too fucking brave for your own good. All this did was hurt you.”
I’m not making much sense of this, but I’m still able to discern a key piece of information.
“You bullied me, you humiliated me beyond repair because you wanted to protect me?” I mumble, trying to wrap my head around the concept. He nods slowly.
For a split-second, I’m seduced by his roguish hair and hazel eyes again. I remember what he feels like when he’s inside me, and my skin tingles. Then I spot the panties on the ground and all the good stuff goes away like a fragile daydream.
“You’re so full of shit, Rhett.”
He shakes his head. “I’m telling you the truth.”
“Then tell the whole fucking truth!” I shout.
His shoulders drop, a pained look settling in his eyes. “I can’t. We have to keep you safe.”
“We? As in you, Kellan and Gage?”
“Yes.”
“Then fuck the three of you all over again!” I reply. “I’m not buying any of this crap. You… I gave myself to you in that fucking classroom. Rhett, I gave you my heart on a platter… I gave you all everything I had in me to give, since the beginning of summer camp. My trust, my friendship, my loyalty… my love… and you stomped all over it.”
“Elly, please,” he says, reaching out to touch me again.
I slap his hand away. “Stay away from me. I don’t believe you. This is some other sick game you’re playing. I’ll bet someone’s filming us right now, eager to put my face up on Pornhub. Screw this…”
I try to leave again, but he catches my wrist. Everything happens so fast, that I don’t even register it until it’s too late. He cups my face and pulls me into a kiss, and light explodes inside my head. His lips are so soft… and trembling, as he slips his tongue through. The taste of him is exquisite. Rhett is dangerously addictive. Maybe this is what crack addicts feel like when they get their fix.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, lips moving against mine.
My mind expands for a moment, as I find the strength to jerk back and slap him. I finally get him. With Gage, that’s two of them. One more heart-breaking asshole to go. Rhett is shocked. I surprised him.
“Stay. Away. From. Me.” I say it again, hoping he registers it this time around.
Leaving him outside, I sneak back in, cautious as I head for the hallway. The bell must’ve rung, because there’s no one here. My bag is right under my locker. Looking around, I make sure the coast is clear before I rush over and grab it, noticing a few drops of congealed blood on the floor, along with one of Prestley’s fake eyelashes.
To everyone’s astonishment, I walk into my class. The teacher, a stocky and mellow Mr. Wilkes, scowls at me from behind the desk—the very desk where Rhett took me. Shit, I’ll never be able to look at this particular piece of furniture without remembering that tantalizing hot moment. And the scorching hot demise.
“Miss Fox. You’re late,” Mr. Wilkes says.
I nod slowly, noticing Prestley, Sarah and Tandy aren’t here. Kellan and Gage gawk at me as if they’ve just seen a ghost. The others are equally surprised to see me here… but not Kyle. No, Kyle was somehow expecting me, smiling gently as he motions for me to sit down behind him.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Wilkes,” I reply. “I had a small incident on my way here.”
“Would it have anything to do with that brawl from earlier?” Mr. Wilkes asks, and I shake my head.
“No, sir. I slipped, that’s all.”
He frowns, checking me out through his half-moon glasses. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, sir. Just a couple of scratches.”
And a bruised rib, for sure. It hurts like a motherf… “Can I just take my seat?” I ask him.
“Go ahead,” he mutters, then goes back to the lesson.
From what I can hear on my way to my desk, we’re doing the principles of macroeconomics today, which is the perfect topic for me to sit on and get distracted by thoughts of what just happened with Rhett behind the school. Because none of this is making any sense.
I’m more lost now than I was this morning, or shortly after I ran out of the school without my panties, embarrassed beyond belief. None of this makes sense, and Rhett’s incessant apologies haven’t helped, either.
“You good?” Kyle whispers as I slide into my chair. Gage and Kellan are watching me like hawks, but something has changed. I can see it in their eyes. The roughness is gone. It’s been replaced by another kind of darkness, one which I fail to understand. They must know what Rhett did earlier.
Did they plan it?
“Yeah,” I whisper, looking at Kyle. “Thanks.”
“Are you sure?”
I smile. “Positive.”
Whatever is going on in this place, I’m not letting myself get dragged into all sort of crap anymore. If Prestley wants to attack me again, I will beat her bloody and out everybody to the principal. I will get the police involved. I will do whatever it takes to show them all that they don’t get to mess with me and walk off scot free.
But what did Rhett mean with what he said? What am I supposed to do with his apologies, after everything that happened, if he won’t tell me the whole truth? How do I know he’s not trying to play me again?
The wounds in my soul are still raw and bleeding. I can’t take another round like this morning by the noticeboard. I can’t. I’m tired…
Nothing makes sense anymore.
19
Elly
For the first time in weeks, I have an odd sense of
peace keeping me afloat. Kyle and I are gorging on frozen yoghurt at Mary Sue’s, a posh little dinner not far from Trinity High. It’s usually busy after school, but today’s my lucky day, if we forget me having to collect panties from the school’s noticeboard. Barely a couple of souls around, so Kyle and I have time to dwell over what flavors we’re going to get, while Mary Sue, the owner and fro-yo expert server of this small but tasteful establishment, stays closer to the till, keeping busy with some menu prices.
This morning’s events are still surreal to me, but I think I’m understanding everything a little better.
“Elly, you can’t possibly tell me you’re willing to forgive those bastards for what they said and did to you,” Kyle admonishes me, and he has every reason to be irritated about this.
“I didn’t say that. I’m just saying… it makes more sense now than it did weeks ago. Or two days ago, for that matter.”
“Frankly, I’m still shocked you let Rhett get that close,” he sighs, staring at a strawberry and cream pot in the icy display. Mary Sue has about thirty flavors on sale, and given it’s my first time here, I’m having a hard time picking out the perfect ones for such an occasion. I’m overthinking frozen yoghurt flavors. That’s how low I’ve sunk.
“You know more than anyone else out here why I did that. Why… we did what we did,” I mutter.
I’ve told Kyle about most of summer camp, though I’ve left some of the later events shrouded in secrecy, since I’m not sure he’d understand. Kyle says he’s extremely open minded, but even I know he’s got his limits. Until I find out what those are, I’ll keep said later events to myself.
“I thought Rhett was different…”
“Clearly, he isn’t.”
“And they want me out of this town, which I don’t quite understand. It’s got something to do with that cryptic apology from this morning, but he wouldn’t tell me more, so all I can do is speculate.”
Kyle looks at me. “How do you feel about them, now? Honestly, Elly.”
“I… I don’t know,” I sigh deeply, pointing at the melon flavor. “I’ll start with a pot of melon, then work my way up the flavor ladder…”
As if summoned, Mary Sue slides behind the icy display and scoops out some of the pale green and yellow flurry, plopping it inside a cute little cup with anime characters printed on the side.
“I’ll have the pineapple, thanks,” Kyle says, then frowns at me. “What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I mean, I don’t know,” I shoot back. “It’s hard to hate them, even after everything they did. I think Rhett’s apology really got to me. He seemed sincere…”
“Did he not seem sincere when he was doing you on top of the teacher’s desk in our class?”
That hurt. It was a low blow, and Kyle knows it. I don’t need to say anything for him to lower his head in shame, as he goes over to the register, pays, then collects the cups and brings them over.
We settle in one of the window booths, as the sun sets beyond the pastel-colored neighborhood of upper middle-class two-story houses and neat boutiques.
“I’m sorry,” Kyle mumbles. “I shouldn’t have…”
“You could’ve picked better words for this particular truth,” I concede, tasting my choice of frozen yoghurt flavor. It’s delicious and refreshing, a cure for almost anything, I realize. This is definitely going to be my comfort zone, going forward. I’m not leaving Trinity until I try all the
flavors that Mary Sue has to offer. “But you’re right. I trusted him then. There’s no reason to trust him now. Only…”
“A gut feeling, huh?”
I glance at him. He’s smiling, but it’s no smile I’ve seen before. It’s loaded with meaningful sadness, as if he understands exactly why I’m so annoyingly conflicted.
“Yeah,” I say. “I swear. It’s just something that tells me he wasn’t lying. That there’s more to this whole bullying nonsense than what you and I have seen so far… I mean, what if all this is some elaborate ploy to push me away and keep me from getting hurt, somehow?”
“Hurt by whom?” Kyle asks, slightly confused.
“Didn’t you say they’re mobsters or something? Big Irish clan and all that malarkey?”
He stills, his forehead suddenly smooth as if a piece clickS into place, and the full image is finally clear. “Right. Yeah. That’s possible,” he says. “But you should definitely try talking to them about it, Elly. Don’t give up until they tell you.”
I can’t help but chuckle, the bitterness in my voice slipping through without me even realizing it. “Look at you… up until an hour ago, you were telling me to switch schools and get away from these monsters… Now, you want me doing the same thing you’ve been adamant that I stop doing. You’re a walking contradiction, Kyle Perry.”
He gives me a faint nod. “Circumstances change. People change. You said so yourself. If you’re convinced that what you had with these guys last summer was genuine, and if you’re positive that Rhett was telling the truth this morning, then you should definitely get the whole story. Then maybe you can move on… I don’t know.”
The bell rings as the door opens. My stomach clenches at the sight of Rhett, Kellan and Gage coming in. They see me, but they don’t say a word as they head straight for Mary Sue and her frozen yoghurt display.
“Hey, Mary Sue. You’re looking beautiful as ever,” Rhett says, whipping out a dashing, debonair smile. Mary Sue is in her mid-forties, but she can still blush and giggle like a middle-school girl when complimented the right way. “You charmer, you…”
“It’s not our fault you’re pretty,” Gage steps in, hooking an arm around Rhett’s shoulders. They look so casual and carefree. I’m starting to believe they’ve got some sort of split personality disorder, because they go from kind and sweet to absolute beasts in a hot second, and it’s hard to keep up.
They order their cups of fro-yo and settle in a booth across the dinner from ours. I know they can still hear us. The acoustics in this place are dismal, at best. Gage is the first to look my way, while Kellan and Rhett check their phones.
I ignore him and focus on my cup, instead.
“This isn’t normal,” Kyle says. “Do you think they followed you here? Should I maybe leave, so you can talk to them?”
Raising an eyebrow at him, I scoff. “You’re joking, right?”
“No… You just said you’d like to know the truth. Maybe this—”
“Kyle, don’t you dare leave me alone here,” I hiss, leaning closer. “I’m enjoying a nice cup of melon fro-yo with my friend. If the three Stooges want to talk to me, they have my number. They also have legs they can use to walk upright all the way here. As you can see, they’re better off brooding in the corner. Fuck them.”
Kyle squirms, as if I spoke too loudly. It makes me chuckle.
“What’s wrong? Afraid they’ll hear us?” I ask, raising my voice. Mary Sue glances my way, but she quickly turns around and vanishes in the back with a couple of empty stainless steel pots to refill.
“Elly, don’t—”
“What’s that, Kyle?” I say, extra loud this time, so every scarce soul in the dinner can hear me, including The Hotshots. “You think I give a shit about what they think? Nah. I think Rhett, Kellan and Gage can go fuck themselves. I was pretty specific about that this morning, as well. Fuck them. Fuck them all the way out of Trinity and off Planet Earth, as far as I’m concerned.”
I’m drawing scowls from The Hotshots, but the adrenalin rush feels so good, it’s almost like I’m possessed and cannot control myself any longer. By contrast, Kyle is livid and would love nothing more than for the ground to open up beneath and swallow us both.
But the universe is chaos and mindless violence, and I’m about to ride one of its more turbulent waves, my mind clicking into a gear I forgot I had.
“It’s okay, Kyle, don’t worry,” I add, making sure I’m still heard. “At school, they’re on their turf. They can be bullies and shitbags till they run ou
t of breath. Out here, we’re in public. In a lovely establishment. I know they won’t dare to do anything stupid because—and correct me if I’m wrong here, but given their mob ties, they can’t really afford police attention, right?”
“Oh, my god, Elly,” Kyle gasps, covering his mouth as he gawks at me in disbelief.
Over at The Hotshots’ table, I’ve got three statues, one more handsome than the other, equally befuddled by the trash I’m verbally dispensing. But I’m right. One of them would’ve punched my lights out by now. Instead, they’re sitting there, seething and flabbergasted all at once, while I’m here, making it clear that I’m done with their bullshit.
“The truth is nasty, I know,” I reply, grinning at The Hotshots. “But it’s way more liberating than lies and secrets and unspoken things. You should give it a go, sometime.”
Kyle takes my hand in his, squeezing firmly. “Please, stop…”
“Are you afraid?” I ask him, my tone suddenly low and cold. I’m really enjoying this unpredictable side of me. It’s a reminder that I should let it out more often. It’s how I win every debate I get into. Speaking of which, I should join the Trinity High debate team and finish out with a stellar score before my college application. Nothing has changed. I’m still reaching for the sky, and no one is taking me down.
“I’m worried about you,” Kyle says.
“Don’t be. The only reason why I let them get this far with their shenanigans is because I didn’t understand their motives. Now, I no longer care.” I’m lying. I do care. But I don’t want anyone to know that.
Projecting strength will get me farther than anything else. I’ve already made it clear to the beauty queens that I will not be their punching bag. It’s time for The Hotshots to understand that, as well.
“Kyle, do you trust me?” I whisper, a devilish thought slithering through my frayed but remarkably resilient mind. He doesn’t, but he still gives me a brief nod, probably hoping I won’t get him killed. “I want you to laugh. I want you to make everyone here think you’re having the time of your life. After the noticeboard, no one deserves to see so much as a frown on my face, and I could use your help in weaving that narrative in public.”
Holy Trinity Page 15
