by Tina Saxon
“Please tell me that none of those are for the same reason that one is,” I say, pointing to the hole still there from the last time we stayed here together. My voice is strained. He looks at the hole, I’m pointing to and jerks his head back and his eyes soften.
“No, no, no,” he says quickly, shaking his head when he realizes what I’m implying. “I didn’t even see Jessie.” I feel a sense of relief but then wonder what the hell happened.
“I’m surprised you didn’t break your hand,” I say, looking at the holes.
“I really don’t remember even doing it.”
I whip around to him. “You don’t remember?”
He shoves his hands in his pockets. “I was so pissed. I thought I’d lost …” His eyes tell me everything even when he stops talking. He lost me anyway. “I was piss-ass drunk the entire time I was here. When I decided I needed to get back, I sobered up and that’s when I saw it.” He looks over to Max. “Ryan said he’d fix them. I guess he hasn’t gotten around to doing it yet.” Max nods.
We haven’t even talked about that day. That one day that I went and saw Travis. The one day that changed everything. The day that made everything irrelevant, except surviving.
I place my hand on Aiden’s chest. “We can neither change the past, nor can we blame ourselves for what our parents did,” I say.
He places his hand over mine and squeezes. To change the subject, because I’m really emotionally exhausted from today and I’m ready to relax in Aiden’s arms, I say, “What are we ordering for dinner?”
It’s like a switch turned everyone back on.
“Pizza,” Syd says.
“Barbeque,” Max says.
“Chinese,” Aiden says.
All in unison. I laugh. “Can anyone narrow that down?” I say, looking at all three of them.
“I’m good with pizza,” Aiden says. I look at Max and he nods. I walk to the drawer that holds all the menus. I surprise myself when I remember where it was.
After I order our pizza, Syd and I change into more comfy and warmer clothes. The breeze coming from the ocean is chilly. I come out of the bedroom with yoga pants on and my oversized NYPD sweatshirt.
“Hey, sexy,” Aiden murmurs, bringing his beer to his lips. He takes a drink, keeping his eyes on me. The way he makes me feel every time he looks at me, like I’m the only one in the room, is indescribable.
He’s leaning against the counter with his bare feet crossed. He changed into a pair of dark blue jeans and a long-sleeve T-shirt. Mmm … he’s so gorgeous. I saunter up to him and kiss him, leaning into his hard body. He tastes like beer.
“You taste good,” I say, taking his beer from his hand and bringing it up to my lips, my eyes never leaving his. Beer has never been my drink of choice, but tasting it on his lips—his tongue—is definitely moving to the number one spot.
I lick my lips and watch his eyes move down to my mouth before he blinks his gaze back up to me. His eyes darken as he pulls me forward. My body shudders.
I feel like a love-struck teenager who can’t get enough of her boyfriend. Butterflies flutter in my stomach every time he looks at me. My hormones are having a field day with his sexy looks. Sexy body. Sexy voice. Everything about him is pure sexy.
And to think just a week ago, I was afraid I couldn’t be intimate again. Now all I can think about is how intimate we can be. I giggle to myself. Five months and not a trace of desire in my body. Zero. Zilch. Thinking of it alone made me sick to my stomach.
But one look from Aiden and it’s a visceral need.
It’s like my body forgot the trauma. Maybe it instinctively knows that Aiden would never hurt me.
“What’s so funny?” Aiden asks, taking his beer back. See? Just the touch of his fingers across mine when he grabs his beer has my heart beating faster.
I smile at the sexy man in front of me. “Just thinking.”
“Well, stop that. Tonight isn’t about thinking. It’s about relaxing,” he says, giving me a quick kiss. “And letting me touch you all night.” He wiggles his eyebrows.
Touch away.
We walk out to the back where Syd and Max are. Max is starting a fire in the fire pit, and Syd is finding music to play on her phone. Aiden walks over and shows her where to hook it up to play over the speakers.
It’s a gorgeous night. Cool, crisp air swirls around me. The sound of the ocean’s waves is perfect background noise. The stars twinkle in the sky, demanding attention, calling for people to look up and wonder what else is out there.
The pool looks inviting. Blue lights in the pool glow against the dark blue sky. I wonder if it’s heated. I bend down, sticking my hand in the water. Chills run down my back as I shiver. Nope, not heated.
“Are you wanting a repeat of our last pool experience?” Aiden asks, pressing his body to the back of mine when I stand back up.
“Not in that water. It’s freezing.”
Aiden chuckles. “It’ll start getting warm in about a month, when the nights aren’t as chilly.”
As we eat and unwind around the fire pit, we talk about our jump today. The guys tell us some crazy things they’ve done when jumping.
I don’t even notice how much I’ve been drinking, but when I stand it hits me.
“Whoa.” I giggle, trying to balance myself. I make sure to balance in the opposite direction of the fire.
“Sweetheart, you okay there?” Aiden chuckles from the chaise lounge that we share. Our chaise lounge.
“I’m fine,” I say, waving my hand around. “It just hit me a little. I think I need to move around a bit.”
“I think it’s time to go to church.” Syd jumps up out of her chair. My smile widens.
Aiden tilts his head to the side, his face filled with amusement. “I bet you two were huge trouble makers growing up.”
Syd laughs from behind us. “We were more entertaining than trouble makers,” she says. I would say that’s pretty accurate. But there was definitely some trouble mixed in there.
“I don’t doubt that at all,” Aiden says, sitting up and pulling me back down on him. I squeal when he tickles me.
His torture continues, so I scream, “If you want me to entertain you later, you better stop tickling me.” His hands stop immediately and shoot up over his head. “That’s what I thought,” I say, trying to catch my breath. When I roll off of him and stand, Syd and Max are staring at us.
Max laughs out loud, shaking his head. “You’re so pussy whipped.”
“Hell yeah. Look at her,” he says, grinning up at me. Max looks at me, his eyes perusing my body. My eyes go wide. He’s actually looking at me. Like he wants me. “Asshole, I didn’t mean like that,” Aiden growls, throwing his pizza crust at Max.
“Eww … yeah, Max,” I say. “You’re like my brother.” Especially after all we’ve been through.
He shrugs. “He told me to look at you,” he says defensively, pointing to Aiden with his beer bottle. “I did.” He smiles innocently.
Mine and Syd’s song flows through the speakers. Syd runs up and grabs my hand, pulling me to a little platform by the pool. I guess it’s more of a tanning ledge but without any chairs, it’s the perfect stage.
As we sing “My Church” by Maren Morris, we dance and move to the music. It reminds me of the past.
Reminds me of the old me.
Music has a way of touching places that are hidden inside of us. It evokes forgotten memories. It can turn the simplest action in our daily life into a major one. It rouses feelings. It can make you love. It can make you hate. The effect that music has on our mind is amazingly profound.
I tuned it out for months. I was numb to it. I didn’t want to hear the music. I didn’t want to attach music to any memory.
Until Lexi.
Lexi’s beautiful voice and innocence opened my heart to music again. The feelings that I desperately buried are starting to be released.
I glance at Aiden. He locks eyes with me. He’s relentless in his gaze. When he b
rings his drink to his lips, I close my eyes momentarily, grinding my hips to the song. When I open, I gasp audibly at the sight of Aiden standing right in front of me.
He pulls me to him and grinds his straining erection against me. My body starts to hum as we dance. His hand grabs my ass, pulling me into him harder. A moan escapes my lips.
Aiden flashes a sexy half smile. He leans down and says, “If I knew this was a type of church when I was younger, I would’ve gone every damn day.”
I don’t have time to answer before his lips crash onto mine. Clapping and whistling interrupt us. And it’s not from Syd and Max.
I look around Aiden and see two guys standing in the doorway of the house. Aiden looks to the sky and curses under his breath. I’m not sure if these guys being here is a good thing or a bad thing by his reaction.
But I catch his huge smile as he turns around. “What the hell are you guys doing out here?” he says, hugging each of them. Syd is standing by my side as we watch the guys. The excitement in Aiden’s voice makes me smile. It’s not until they step out onto the patio that we both get a good look.
“Holy shit,” Syd and I both say at the same time.
Syd grabs my hand. “That’s … that’s …” she says, stuttering, not quite able to get it out.
“Ryker Dallas,” I whisper. As if he heard me say it, he looks right at me. His signature smile spreads across his face. The one girls will do anything for. The one he flashes when he wins a game.
Ryker Dallas, the quarterback for the New York Giants, is standing a few feet away from me. He’s gorgeous. Short, sandy blond hair with green eyes, and the perfect smile that is probably insured. Syd and I have always had a crush on him. We’ve secretly wished that he would play for the Cowboys so we didn’t feel we were crushing on the enemy. I mean, it only makes sense that he was on the Cowboys … his last name is freaking Dallas.
And he’s here. Smiling at me.
Oh, shit, he’s walking this way. Syd squeezes my hand and a small whimper can be heard under her breath. I’m so star struck that I don’t even notice Aiden at my side.
Until I hear him.
“Addison,” he growls. “You’re making me feel a little inadequate here.”
Max and the other guy, who I haven’t even looked at yet, laugh out loud, breaking my trance. I glance at Aiden and then back to Ryker. He’s standing in front of me with a shit-eating grin.
“You must be Addison?” he says, holding his hand out. His voice is sweet with a slight southern accent. It surprises me. I guess I’ve never paid attention to him when he talks on TV. I smile, placing my hand in his. It’s rough and huge. “Nice to finally meet you.”
Finally? Like he’s been waiting to meet me?
“It’s great to meet you, too,” I say and then look toward Aiden with a raised brow. He’s staring hard at our joined hands. Oops. I pull my hand back, biting my lip.
I can feel my cheeks burn from embarrassment.
“Fucking hell,” Aiden groans as he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder, carrying me inside.
I scream in surprise but don’t say anything. I can’t say I blame him for being jealous. Hell, I’d be pissed if he reacted that way to a friend of mine. But it’s Ryker Dallas! And this is his fault. If he would’ve told me in advance that they were friends, I could’ve been prepared.
Keep telling yourself that.
He stomps through the house, taking me to the bedroom. He throws me on the bed and crawls on top of me. I blink innocently, trying to gauge how mad he is before I say anything.
His lips slam down on mine, and I immediately open my mouth, letting him take anything he needs. His hands roughly explore my body in urgency. They’re up my shirt, down my pants, in me, without any warning. I moan into his mouth at the feeling of his thick fingers pumping into me. My hips buck, feeling the tingle working its way down my spine, about to explode. My whole body trembles as pleasure explodes through my sex. My screams are muffled by Aiden’s kiss. My chest heaves as I gasp for air.
Aiden pulls back, but is still an inch away from my face. “You are mine,” he says unapologetically. I see the pain in his eyes before he has time to react. He jumps up and walks around the room. He runs his hands through his hair while he mutters curse words under his breath. I don’t even know what he’s so upset about. I’m so confused at everything that just happened.
“Aiden.” He stops and looks at me. My brows furrow as I stand and walk to him. I run my hand over his jaw. It clenches under my hand. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m so sorry,” he says quietly, putting his forehead against mine.
“For what?”
“I didn’t mean to be so rough.” His voice cracks. What? “I just … there was this feeling that was so strong that I just acted on it without thinking.”
I look up in disbelief. “Okay, first, I should be the one apologizing. I didn’t mean to act all stupid in front of Ryker. I was just surprised to see him standing there. He’s like a celebrity to me.” I shrug, softly smiling up at him. Concern is still etched on his face. I blow out a breath. We haven’t ever talked about this, and I don’t want to now, but he can’t beat himself up every time he thinks he’s done something wrong. “Second, nothing you do, and I mean nothing, will ever be close to what he did to me. You could never hurt me, Aiden.” I stare into his eyes, making sure he’s hearing me. “Please don’t misconstrue our intimacy as anything but love. I promise you, if I feel uncomfortable, I’ll let you know. But I don’t want you to hold back with me, ever.”
I run my hands up his chest. His muscles tense under my palms. I stand on my toes and kiss him softly. “I love you, Aiden. Only you. It’s only ever been you,” I say into his lips. I can feel his body relax. His arms wrap around me, pulling me closer.
“I love you, too, Addison. I’ll work on number two. It might take me a little time, because I don’t know what I’d do if I ever hurt you. Even unintentionally.” His hands cup the back of my head as his thumb caresses my cheek.
I smile and nod. “Now that we got that out of the way, Mr. Caveman, what the hell?” I playfully hit him in the chest. “I can’t even believe inadequate came out of your mouth. You are the sexiest, most confident man I know.”
“You were looking at him like you wanted to have him for lunch and then you started blushing when you had his hand in yours.”
I roll my eyes, shaking my head. “Really? That’s a little extreme.” He shakes his head slowly. “I told you already why I had my reaction. Why are you being so jealous? He’s your friend. One that you have never mentioned before, by the way.”
He shrugs. “I did tell you about him. He’s one of the guys I went to school with, and he would come to the house. I just didn’t tell you his name.”
“So he’s one of your best friends, yet you never told me his name. Why?”
“I don’t know, Addison,” he says, throwing his hands in the air. “I guess there was just never a good time to name drop, that one of my best guy friends is Ryker Dallas.”
My eyes widen. “Oh, I don’t know, how about the time we had a bet during one of the games that we watched together,” I say sarcastically with my hands on my hips.
He exhales loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Addison why are we fighting about this?”
“Oh … uh-uh. You don’t get off that easy. Why were you so jealous? I’ve seen you jealous before. It’s playful. Back there …” I say, pointing to the patio, “was a totally different reaction. Do you not trust me? Do you actually think that I want Ryker in that way?”
“No. Yes. No!” he growls. I take a step back. Wow. There was a yes in there. What the hell is happening here? Just because I got a little star struck, he doesn’t trust me now? Aiden looks away from my hurt eyes.
I look at the closed bedroom door. I should just leave. No, screw that. I didn’t do anything wrong to make him not trust me. I cross my arms and wait for Aiden to figure his shit out.
He doesn’t
even look up when he starts talking. “In college, Ryker and I used to … share.”
“O … kay. We’ve all passed around at least one guy before, Aiden. Typical college life,” I say. He still won’t look at me.
I see his shoulders drop before he stands up straight. His eyes meet mine. “At the same time.”
My eyes get bigger. “Oh.”
Lucky woman.
Oh, my God, I did not just think that. I bite my lip, trying to get that image out of my head. His eyes scan my face. I really don’t know how to respond.
“All the time?” my voice squeaks out.
His lips slightly curl up. “No. It wasn’t ever planned. It just would happen every now and then.”
I bite the inside of my cheek, deciding what to ask next. I’ve never had a three way, really never had a desire to do so. I can’t say I’m surprised though. All the guys are gorgeous.
“So …” I start and then stop. I’m still confused. What does this have to do with anything about what happened tonight?
When I don’t continue, Aiden says, “When I saw how you were looking at him, it brought back a lot of memories. Before when I didn’t give a fuck who the girl was.”
Now I get it. I drop my arms and reach for his hand. “I don’t want Ryker, Aiden,” I say, pulling him toward me. “And I would hope that since he’s your best friend, he knows how much I mean to you that he would never try anything with me.”
“Fuck, Addison. I know that. He would never. You would never. I fucking know that. I’ve just never felt like this for anyone, and I didn’t know how to handle the jealousy.” He releases a forced breath, looking down at me. I hate seeing the vulnerability in his eyes.
“I think you handled it just fine.” I lick my lips and bite down.
“Only fine?” He flashes a confident smile, pulling our joined hands up to his lips. The vulnerability quickly vanishes, replaced with desire.
“Hmm … I think it’s been too long for me to give an accurate statement on that.”
He rubs my knuckles against his lips. “I guess I’ll have to refresh your memory.”
