Chapter 26
The following Saturday morning Jennifer rose early, as usual, for her morning run. She had made up her mind that, regardless of the weather, it would be a good run. As she was lacing up her running shoes she thought: through rain or sleet or snow; that's the dedication of a runner, like the postman. You have to always deliver. She was pleasantly surprised when she stepped out of her apartment to discover that Mother Nature had cooperated quite well. It was a little cool for Jennifer's taste, but very little wind and not even a hint of rain; the air smelt fresh and clean. It would be a great day for a run, but then to Jennifer any day is a great day for a run.
On her first mile she focused in on warming up, concentrating on her form and making sure not to push herself too hard; wouldn't want to pull a hamstring or anything. Years of running has taught Jennifer to respect her body and to know what it can and can't do. Warming up is essential to a runners long-term success. Your legs are like the wheels of a car. The car's not going anywhere without its wheels, so you might want to try to avoid nails and such if you intend to keep on driving. Sprinting out of the blocks without a good warm up is like running over nails; bad idea. Jennifer tries to think this philosophy through each time she runs. She knows from running with several older runners that, as you get older, one wrong move can cause an injury that will set you back months or even years. She always keeps this in mind, even though she's still quite young. She shows wisdom beyond her years, similar to David, but more so.
As Jennifer entered her second mile she began to settle into a steady, but quick, pace. This was the time when she felt comfortable to let muscle memory take over and allow her mind wonder; as she is fully warmed up and ready to go. With her mind moving almost as fast her legs, Jennifer jumped from what she would do later that day, to chores that need to be done around the apartment, on to a few work items that were on her plate, as well as just enjoying the scenery as it whizzed by.
Once Jennifer had worked through most of the little things that were on her mind she decided to ponder more substantial items. David. She knows now that she's healed enough, and has allowed enough time to go by, to let herself think about David whenever she likes.
Normally on a run Jennifer will block her mind from anything that may cause her stress. She's found having stress upon you while running tires you out and makes the run harder than it needs to be. The fatigue of the stress masks itself as physical exhaustion and can ruin your run. But, her thoughts of David were no longer causing this type of stress so she allowed herself the moment.
She was happy to find herself thinking mainly happy thoughts. Jennifer found it far easier to do this than she anticipated. It made her feel good and this only increased her confidence to run faster.
As Jennifer entered her third mile she felt quite invigorated. This surprised her a bit and she figured she would just let it flow. I'm not sure how far I'll let myself run today, she thought. Maybe a marathon! She laughed out loud with this thought and noticed she was a little breathless with the pace she was holding. Dialing back into a more manageable, but still quite respectable, pace her breathing became more rhythmic and less heaving.
When she began her run the sun was just coming up, providing a grey tint to the landscape around her. Now the sun was moving quickly to light the world and turn all things their normal color, only with that morning orange/yellow glow that is so beautiful that it makes you thank God for providing such things. Jennifer found herself focusing on the beauty and smiling like a schoolgirl.
For some reason that morning glow always reminds her of a glass of orange juice. As if her sense of sight and taste get intertwined in the morning radiance and such beauty goes beyond her vision and actually impacts her taste buds. It provided a positive mood that sat quite well with her nice thoughts of David.
Upon her return home Jennifer decided on a long hot bath. She's always been a bath person. Jennifer, jokingly, sometimes says there are two types of people in this world: bath people and shower people. Bath people take things slow; one day at a time. They enjoy the little things in life and savor precious moments. Shower people, on the other hand, are a more driven bunch; in a hurry to make life happen rather than letting it come to them. They're not a bad lot, just a little jumpy and always rushing about. Jennifer sometimes has to take a shower due to the busy life of a young adult, but she remembers the care free days of childhood when baths were almost always on the menu. She plans to take more baths in her future.
As Jennifer undressed for her bath, she just then realized how very hard she had been running this morning. She was dripping wet with sweat and her clothes were completely soaked. She noticed two quite red patches on the back of her heels; she surmised that her intense foot turnover was more than her skin was used to. Jennifer didn't fret though; she knew they would heal quickly. She giggled a little as she said out loud "the heels will heal".
The vigorous run had provided her now with a calm that was very soothing; a calm that would only be enhanced by a long hot soak. Jennifer turned on the faucet and lit a few candles around the tub. She then walked, quite naked she noticed, to the kitchen. She enjoyed the cooling effect the slight breeze, she created with her movements, had on her sweaty form. Jennifer especially relished in the thought of how that cool feeling now would become loose and relaxing when she dipped herself into the sultry bath water.
In the kitchen Jennifer grabbed a glass and added several ice cubes. As she turned on the tap to fill her glass with water, she caught a glimpse of her breasts in the mirror over the sink. She thought it not too vain to admire herself for a moment. As she could only see herself from the waist up in the mirror, she focused on her stomach (flat and tight), then her breasts (youthful, firm, perfect she thought, not too big, not too small) and her shoulders (runners shoulders, thin and athletic). Jennifer thought about how the flesh weakens over time and how beauty is so fleeting. She enjoyed her young adult body and hoped it would last. She knows it won't though, and she thinks to herself that she can live with that, as she makes her way back to the rapidly filling bathtub.
With a big gulp of her ice water and a deep breath she wastes no time; in she goes. The water is not warm; rather on the verge of immediate skin reddening, just the way she likes it. Steam was rising from the water and Jennifer noticed the bathroom mirror was completely fogged over as she let herself slide completely under the water, head and all.
Under the water, where silence is king and time seems to stand still, Jennifer didn't think; she simply let her eyes remain closed and enjoyed the searing darkness of the water. These were the moments she savored as a child; no worries, no hurries, no need for patience because there was nothing more to desire to have, or especially to have more quickly.
As Jennifer began to pull her head up out of the water now, she recalled how as a child she would hold her breath as long as she could. She recalled how her mother would time her and each time Jennifer took a bath she would try to beat her previous time. This thought made her feel like a child; good. She glimpsed at the second hand of the bathroom clock. It was a bit hard to see because the face was fogged over, but she made it out. Jennifer took a big breath and puffed her cheeks out wide (just like she did as a child), then quickly plunged herself under the water.
As the seconds ticked by she tried to remember what her best time was as a child. She could not. It surprised her that she couldn't get her mind around such an important thing; a number that meant so much to her as a child. As she lifted her head above water Jennifer took a breath and didn't even check the clock. She thought about how funny it is that too many things, we hold so sacred in our youth, seem to get dropped when the rigors of adult life kick in. It didn't make her sad really; just reflective.
After a good long soak, Jennifer began thinking about how to approach David. I should just be an adult about the whole thing, she thought. I should be mature and just talk to him; it's time now. I'm
ready.
Jennifer thought about how if David likes Amy and that's that, then she can deal with it. She said out loud "I know I can live with it, if that's the way it is", as she began soaping up her wash rag. Jennifer knew she could deal with the worst, but still couldn't help but hope for the best. She tried not to get her hopes up, but simply couldn't help herself. Jennifer found herself going through the motions of bathing without even realizing it, as her mind was focused on bigger things.
Jennifer wonders if the whole thing was a misunderstanding. She realizes if she did just misread the facts of the situation she would be better off. After all that's what she hoped. However ? she still couldn't help but feel foolish about it. If she simply misinterpreted the whole thing then she was foolish. Jennifer's being pretty hard on herself at this point. She feels her face turn a little flush as she begins to empty the tub.
Jennifer had made up her mind to talk to David soon. So as not to over think the whole thing, she worked hard to ponder other things while she finished up her bathing routine. As she toweled off and moved to the sink she noticed the steam in the room, thick enough you could cut it with a knife. She reached out with her hand and wiped the bathroom mirror to remove the fog. Looking directly in her own eyes, then taking in the bigger picture of her full face and slicked back black hair, Jennifer smiled a big genuine smile at herself and winked. Feeling quite cutesy she giggled.
Opening the closet to her bedroom she decided on extra casual for the day. Blue jeans, sneakers and a t-shirt; Jennifer was in the mood for relaxed attire. It suited her attitude today well.
Brunch, she thought. Yes, I'm in the mood for a nice quiet, slow brunch. As Jennifer headed to her front door she had no idea where she would dine, but knew she'd figure it out along the way.
As she drives out of The Villa's parking lot Jennifer thinks: David's worth it, my feelings for him are worth it. Worth the risk of being turned down if he likes Amy or feeling foolish if my hurt feelings were all a misunderstanding. She's certain he's worth it. Jennifer knows she will have a good brunch.
A Modern Love Page 44
