He dropped his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “All of it.”
I waited for more, but it became clear he didn’t have anything else to add. “Huh, usually excuses follow an apology,” I observed.
“I have reasons, not excuses.”
“What’s the difference?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“A reason is an explanation. An excuse is an attempt to justify.”
“Okay, well, um, goodnight,” I said, unsure of what else to say.
He snorted. “You’re not going to ask what my reasons are?”
I shook my head. “No, because I have reasons too, and I don’t want to talk about them.”
He gave me a curt nod. “Goodnight.” I hadn’t noticed how he was leaning against the column on my front porch until he straightened. When he turned to leave, he swayed and reached for the column again to steady himself.
“You’re drunk,” I said, stating the obvious.
He looked back at me over his shoulder. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not, and you know it. Come inside, and I’ll make you some coffee,” I said and opened the door without a second thought.
“You know how to use that thing?” he asked and nodded at the firearm in my hand.
“Yes.”
“Is the safety on?”
“Nice try. Glock’s don’t have that kind of safety,” I said and arched an eyebrow. “You coming in or not?”
He slowly blew out a breath. “Yeah, I’ll come in for a minute.”
“Have a seat. I’ll start some coffee,” I said and gestured to the sofa. And that’s when I noticed the damn condom wrapper still laying in the exact same spot where he’d tossed it.
I felt my cheeks heat, but I didn’t acknowledge it as I continued on to the kitchen where I proceeded to fumble, drop, or spill everything I touched. As soon as I pressed the start button, I felt his presence behind me. “Do I make you nervous?”
He was too close to me. I could feel the heat emanating from his body. “Y-yes,” I stammered.
“Been thinking about your hot little pussy all day long,” he whispered against the shell of my ear.
“Is that why you came over here?”
“No,” he said, and trailed kisses down my neck. “I came over to apologize, but then you let me inside.”
I pushed away from the counter and stepped to the side so I could turn and face him with a little distance between us. “I let you inside because you’re drunk and need to sober up.”
He studied me for a moment and smirked. “Nah, you want it. You just don’t want to admit that you want it.”
He hit the nail on the head with that statement, but I wasn’t going to admit that to him.
He took a step forward. “I’ll let you hurt me this time. You can dig your nails into my back and sink your teeth into my shoulder while I sink my cock deep inside of you.”
My knees weakened, and I braced myself on the counter. I opened my mouth to tell him no, to tell him to leave, but that’s not what came out. “I don’t even know your name.”
“Savior,” he said and took another step. “And yours?”
I panicked for some reason and blurted my middle name. “Grace.”
He grinned and closed the distance between us. “What’s it going to be, Grace?” he asked and captured my lips with his before I could answer.
6
Savior
I don’t know what it was about her, but I lost all control when we were alone. I managed to stop devouring her lips long enough for her to answer me.
“Yes,” she whispered and pulled my mouth back to hers.
After pushing her tiny shorts to the floor along with her panties, I ripped her flimsy tank top from her body completely baring her to me for the first time. I briefly registered how thin she was before I realized she was struggling to push my shirt over my head.
When I reached for my collar, her hands moved down to unbutton my jeans. Her movements were almost frantic, causing her to fumble with what should have been an easy task.
I took over for her and started moving forward, forcing her to walk backward, while I undid my belt and jeans. I pulled a condom from my wallet and rolled it down my shaft just has her back hit the wall. Grinning, I hoisted her up and dropped her down on my dick in one fluid movement.
“Fuck,” I breathed and buried my face in the crook of her neck while I started thrusting into her.
She tightened her legs around my waist and dug her fingers into my shoulders. “Harder,” she groaned.
I moved my arms under her knees and slid her legs up toward my shoulders. With my hands planted firmly on the wall, she was damn near folded in half while I pounded into her.
“You gonna come? Or do you need me to turn you around and smack that ass again?”
“Yes,” she moaned.
I used one hand to reach down and firmly grip her ass cheek before I drew back and landed a sharp slap that echoed around the room.
And that did it. As soon as my hand landed, her pussy was rippling and pulsating around me.
I continued my rhythm while she rode out her orgasm before I picked up the pace for mine. Sweaty and sated, I carefully lowered her to the floor. After tossing the condom in the trash, I righted my jeans and pulled my shirt over my head.
When I turned back to her, she was already dressed and staring at the floor. “Well, looks like I don’t need that coffee now,” I said and walked out the front door without another word.
This went on for a couple of weeks. Sometimes she came to the bar, and I took her home and fucked her before I left. Other times, I knocked on her front door late at night, fucked her, and went home. We never said more than a few words to each other, but what we were doing was working for us. I knew it wouldn’t last, but I had every intention of enjoying it while it did.
Then, one night, I stopped by Precious Metals on my way back from visiting Gramps and found her sitting at the bar. I was exhausted, but being back in Croftridge had me feeling antsy, and I needed an outlet. So, I took her home, we drank a little, we fucked, and then we fell asleep on her couch.
Crash.
The sound of metal crushing metal on impact filled my ears while an unrelenting pressure against my chest held me in place. My neck snapped forward and my vision filled with a flash of white. Before I could make out what was in front of me, my eyes began to sting.
I bolted upright, breathing heavily and covered in sweat. That fucking nightmare. It happened every night at first, but had lessened over time to once or twice a month. I hadn’t actually had one that I could recall since I’d moved to Devil Springs. Wiping the sweat from my brow, I carefully moved Grace so I could wash my face off before I left.
I made my way down the hall looking for the bathroom. I’d never been anywhere in her house other than the living room or the kitchen. Once I found it, I took a piss and then splashed some cool water on my face.
Fuck, I hated that dream. It always messed me up for a day or two afterward. Ready to get the hell out of there, I dried my face off and yanked the bathroom door open only to freeze in horror. The picture hanging on the wall across from the bathroom was of two small children I knew very well. They didn’t know me, but I knew everything about them. Because I was the one responsible for ruining their lives.
Oh, fuck! I whirled around and dropped to my knees just in time to vomit into the toilet.
How could I not know it was her?
It was her.
She didn’t look the same. She was so thin.
Because I ruined her life.
I’d been dicking down the wife of the man I killed.
And she let me.
Each horrific realization was followed by another burst of vomit until my stomach was actively trying to hurl itself out of my mouth. I had to get out of there. I didn’t even bother to rinse my mouth out. I hit the lever on the toilet with so much force I probably broke the damn thing as I got to my feet and bolted for the door.
I didn’t give a shit what time it was. I fired up my bike and roared out of her quiet neighborhood without looking back.
7
Ranger
I was sitting on my favorite bar stool at the clubhouse watching the boys dart in and out of Phoenix’s office while trying to decide if I wanted to see what had them running around or wait for them to come to me. After finishing my lunch, I decided to go see what in the hell was going on.
“Byte’s trying to find the last location on his cell phone right now,” Phoenix said into his phone.
“What’s going on, Prez?” I asked and took a seat without waiting for his invitation. He might be the President, but I was around when he was in diapers, so I commanded a level of respect the others didn’t.
“We can’t find Savior anywhere. Coal thought he might be sick because he hadn’t come out of his room since the day before, but when he went in to check on him, he wasn’t there. No one’s seen or heard from him in almost twenty-four hours and his phone’s turned off. Last time anyone saw him was when he left Precious Metals to give some girl a ride home.”
“Shit,” I cursed and pushed to my feet. “I know where he is.”
“Where?” Phoenix barked.
I turned back to my Prez slowly and raised one eyebrow. “If you think about it for a minute, you’ll know where he is, too. I’ll go get him. You fuckers stay here. He don’t need everybody seeing him like this.”
“Fuck,” Phoenix hissed. “Should I—?”
“No, don’t do anything. I’ll bring him back,” I said and hoped like hell I could bring him back in more ways than one.
Twenty minutes later, I found him right where I thought he’d be—well, almost where I thought he’d be. Instead of sitting between his parents’ graves, he was sitting beside the headstone of Officer Ian Parker, with an empty bottle of Jack beside him and a half-drunk one in his hand.
I watched him for a few minutes before I slowly made my way over to him. He finally noticed my presence and looked up at me with red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes. Making a grand gesture with his arm, he splashed liquor all over himself and the ground. “I killed him, and then I fucked his wife.”
“Yeah, I figured it was something like that.”
He shook his head. “No, no, no. See, I mean I fucked her. Like bent her over the couch, fucked her, and walked out while I was still putting my dick away. And then I did it again and again and again—”
He was going nowhere fast, so I cut him off. “Listen, I hate to say it, boy, but it probably would’ve been easier on you if you had been at fault. You’d be paying your penance with a prison sentence. But that’s not what happened. And here you are, wallowing in your grief instead of living up to the name I gave you.”
When he didn’t respond, I continued, “You didn’t earn the name Savior just for saving my grandbaby, though that was reason enough in my book. No, your Gramps told me all about what you’ve been doing for those kids and their momma. Working your ass off to give them every extra cent you had. And I knew the minute they left town because you changed. It’s why I suggested that Phoenix send you to Devil Springs.”
“What the fuck, Ranger?” he roared and got to his feet. “You should’ve fucking told me! You had no right to mess with my fucking life!”
“Be pissed. I did what I thought was right and I won’t apologize for it. You wanna take a swing at me, boy? I’ll let you have one, and then I’m going to put you on your ass right here in the cemetery.”
8
Savior
I was so angry—at him, at myself, at the universe—that I didn’t care about anything anymore. So, I took a swing at a man I loved and respected. And the motherfucker lied. He didn’t let me have one. He dodged my punch and cold-cocked me with a left hook that I never saw coming.
When I came to, Ranger extended his hand to help me get to my feet. “I’ll take you to your Gramps’s place.”
I let him help me up and rubbed the side of my head once I was on my feet. “Thanks, man, but I can’t go to Gramps’s like this,” I said and swayed on my feet.
Ranger studied me for a few long moments before he nodded. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right about that, but you’re coming with me anyway. You’re in no shape to ride right now.”
“Wasn’t planning on riding anywhere. I was just fine where I was until you showed up,” I mumbled.
“You weren’t fucking fine, and you know it. Now, get in the damn truck and try not to puke.”
I dropped into the seat and closed my eyes. As soon as he put the truck in gear to move, I felt like the world was spinning, and my stomach started to churn. I fought it for as long as I could, but it was futile. “Fuck, pull over.”
Ranger pulled the truck over like his ass was on fire and barked, “Out!”
I pushed the door open and fell out onto my hands and knees where I proceeded to puke up a disturbing amount of alcohol with such force I almost choked.
My head shot up when I heard an unmistakable sound, “What the fuck are you doing?”
Ranger put his phone back into his pocket and crossed his arms over his chest. “Taking a picture so you can see how pathetic you look when you’re sober enough to process it.”
“Fuck you! I didn’t ask you to come get me!”
“No, you fucking didn’t. Your brothers were coming. And don’t you dare forget that I’m one of those brothers. This is what we do. Now get your ass up and get in the truck.”
I couldn’t get up. I didn’t want to get up. Ever.
A meaty hand firmly gripped my bicep and pulled me to my feet. And I lost it. If Ranger hadn’t been holding me, I would’ve dropped to the ground again as sobs wracked my body. Ranger held me against his chest like I was a child. He was a silent pillar of strength as every soul-crushing moment from the last few years came pouring out in torrents.
“About time you let some of that shit out. You’ve been dealt some shit cards in the last few years. Wasn’t none of it your fault, but I know that doesn’t make it any easier,” he said.
I didn’t respond. There was no need to because everything he said was absolutely correct, especially the part about it not being easier. Finally, he turned me by my shoulders and helped me into the truck.
I should’ve asked where we were going, but I assumed he was taking me to his place. I didn’t even open my eyes when his truck came to a stop until I heard a small child shrieking, “Papa!”
After the piercing pain in my head lessened, I cracked one eye open and groaned, “Fuck.”
“We weren’t expecting you. Is everything okay?” Keegan asked her grandfather.
“Uh, Gabby, go on inside, and I’ll be there in just a minute,” Ranger said and placed the little girl on her feet.
“Shaky Jakey, Papa’s here!” she squealed as she ran to the house.
“Everything’s fine. Savior needs a little help, though. Will you send Shaker out here?”
“Of course. Is there anything else I can do?” she asked.
“He needs something to eat and will probably need a change of clothes.”
“No problem. Let me get Jacob, and then I’ll make him something to eat,” Keegan said.
A few minutes later, I heard Shaker and Ranger talking quietly. Then, the passenger side door was yanked open. “Holy shit, I think I could get drunk just from the fumes coming off you,” Shaker said and made a show of waving his hand in front of his face. “Can you walk?”
“Not sure,” I grumbled. I managed to get to my feet and followed him to his garage.
“Welcome to my man cave. You can have a seat after you change clothes,” he said with a laugh.
I looked down and noticed the splatters of vomit on my shirt and jeans. Without giving it much thought, I ripped my shirt over my head and dropped my jeans to the floor. “I’m not going to stay upright much longer,” I confessed and dropped onto the sofa.
Keegan opened the door to the garage and gasped. “Why is he naked?”
“H
e’s not naked. Did you need something?”
“Uh, Ranger said Kellan needed something to eat. I brought him a sandwich and some chips. Does he need some clothes, too?” she asked.
“He’s right here. Clothes or a blanket would be great. It’s freezing in here,” I said and rubbed my arms.
Keegan returned a few minutes later with some drawstring pants and a T-shirt for me to wear. She’d also brought me a blanket. “Thank you,” I said.
“Any time. I’ll be inside if you need anything,” she replied, though it was directed at her husband.
Shaker sat down in a recliner across from me and crossed his arms over his chest. “You want to tell me what in the hell is going on?”
I shook my head. “Want to? No. But I guess I have to.”
“You don’t have to tell me shit if you don’t want to, but I’m guessing Ranger brought you here because he thought I could help.”
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. “You remember hearing about the cop that died when his patrol car was hit two years ago?”
“Yeah, if I remember correctly, they said the driver fell asleep.”
“I was the driver,” I said flatly.
Shaker sucked in a sharp breath. “Fuck, man. Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
I snorted. “It’s not something I enjoy talking about.”
“Yeah, I get that. I’ve been through something similar,” he said. “When I was deployed, my unit was assigned a certain area to patrol. We’d been there for over two weeks with little to no activity. Then, one night, this car came by and circled the area a few times. We reported it and received the order to take them out. Since I was a sniper, that job fell on me. I didn’t hesitate to kill both men in the car.” He paused and rubbed the back of his neck. “Hours later, when we searched the car, we found two eighteen-year-old boys with a trunkful of fruit. We never figured out what they were doing, but it looked like they were innocent. And they were dead because of me.”
Savior (Blackwings MC - Devil Springs Book 3) Page 3
