Ian
My eyes landed on the date in the top corner of the letter. The day Ian died. Then my eyes fell to the strange mark that looked like the pen slid off the paper while he was signing his name. Then, I noticed the drop of blood in the bottom corner and it hit me like a battering ram. Ian was parked on the side of the road writing this letter when Kellan crashed into him.
It was Mark’s fault. All of it was Mark’s fault. I was so full of rage that I wanted to scream until my throat was raw. I wanted to put his head back together so I could be the one to blow it apart. And I wanted to watch it explode and relish in the blood coating my skin.
Anger. Rage. Fury. Those words didn’t even begin to describe the emotion consuming me. I felt like I was going to burst if I didn’t find a way to let it out.
43
Savior
As soon as I walked through the front door, I knew something was wrong. “What happened?” I asked Claire.
“A police officer came by to speak with Avery. She went upstairs as soon as he left and hasn’t been back downstairs,” she confessed. “Frank went to the house to get me a change of clothes, and I didn’t want to upset the kids if she’s not okay. Can you go up and check on her?”
I was already headed toward the stairs when she asked. “Avery!” I called as I pushed into the bedroom. After checking the bedroom and bathroom, I went down the hall to check the kids’ rooms, but she wasn’t there either.
“Avery!” I called a little louder.
“Check her closet,” Claire yelled from downstairs.
I jerked the closet door open, but Avery was nowhere in sight. I checked the only other room upstairs and found it empty as well. Jogging down the stairs, I made a quick pass through each room before checking the garage. “Her car’s gone,” I said to Claire.
“What?” Claire gasped. “I would’ve heard her leave.”
“Where do you think she went?” I demanded.
“I honestly don’t know. Let me try her cell phone,” Claire suggested and held the phone to her ear only to shake her head moments later. “Straight to voicemail.”
“Fuck,” I cursed. “Why would she leave and not tell anyone where she was going?”
“I’m guessing something the Sheriff said upset her. Can you call and ask him what he told her?”
“Yes,” I said and pointed at Claire. “Yes, I can.”
Before calling the Sheriff, I called Spazz and asked him to try and locate Avery’s phone. Then, I called Phoenix to get the Sheriff’s number.
“I’ll give you his number if you want to talk to him yourself, but I can save you a phone call because I know what he told her.”
“I don’t care who tells me; I just need to know so I can try to find her.”
“He told her what they found when they searched Mark’s house, which was basically what Spazz found plus more photos and detailed accounts of her activity. They also found the truck that hit you in a garage on the property.” Phoenix paused and cleared his throat. “And he found a handwritten letter Ian wrote to Avery. Chuck said he only looked at the names on the letter and the date before he closed it up, but he was planning on giving it to her.”
“What was the date?” I asked even though I already knew.
“The day he died,” Phoenix said carefully.
“Fuck,” I breathed. “I’m heading that way now.”
“There’s only one place in Croftridge she’d go,” Phoenix said. “I’ll send Ranger out to check the cemetery. No sense in driving all the way to Croftridge if she’s not here.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
The moment we ended the call, my phone vibrated in my hand with a number that made my heart stop every time it flashed on the screen.
“Hello?” I answered hesitantly and silently prayed it wasn’t bad news.
“Kellan, this is Karen from the NICU. Sienna is just fine, but, um, Avery’s here and she’s visibly upset. She also has some significant bruising on her face. She assured me she was fine, but she’s not. Obviously, we have upset parents in here from time to time, but something about this is different,” she said, her voice full of genuine concern.
“Thank you for calling. I’ll be right there,” I said and exhaled in relief.
“She’s with Sienna!” I called over my shoulder. “I’m going to get her.”
“Oh, thank goodness,” Claire exclaimed.
When I arrived at the hospital, I all but sprinted up to the NICU. I had no idea what I was walking into, but it didn’t matter. I couldn’t let Avery deal with whatever it was by herself.
I pressed the button and waited for someone to allow me to enter. Karen was waiting by the sink where I started thoroughly washing my hands and arms. “She’s been crying since she got here. She wouldn’t say anything other than, ‘I just need to hold my little girl.’ I helped her and Sienna get situated. Thinking she would calm down after a few minutes, I placed a box of tissues and a bottle of water beside her. When she didn’t, I decided to call you.”
“Thank you, Karen. I’m glad you did,” I said sincerely and made my way over to my girls.
Avery and Sienna were tucked away in the far corner of the NICU next to Sienna’s designated spot. With our daughter cradled in her arms, Avery gazed down at her while she slowly rocked the chair and tears streamed down her face.
With quiet steps, I slowly approached them. When I was a few feet away, I heard Avery’s soft voice. “I love you so much and I love your daddy, too. I swear I do,” she whispered.
“Avery,” I rasped as I closed the distance between us.
Her face crumpled and she squeezed her eyes closed forcing more tears to spill down her cheeks. I knew she needed to talk about whatever was in that letter, but she didn’t need to do it in the NICU with our baby in her arms.
“How’s our girl today?” I asked, hoping to distract her with a subject change.
She inhaled deeply through her nose. “Karen said she’s been doing good. She had her eyes open for a little bit when I first got here.”
I cleared the emotion from my throat. “She does now,” I whispered, afraid she would close them if my voice was too loud.
Avery smiled slightly. “She knows her daddy is here.”
“Hi, peanut,” I said softly and carefully ran my hand over the top of her tiny head. Her little fists opened and closed, and she made the cutest smacking sound with her mouth. Then, her eyes closed and she let out a loud fart.
Avery’s eyes sprung open in surprise. “That was her,” she insisted.
“Sure, blame the baby, Avery,” I teased.
“No, seriously. It was her.”
I couldn’t hold back my laughter. “If you say so.”
Avery gaped at me for a brief moment before she started laughing, too. I loved hearing her laugh. And it seemed like Sienna did, too. Her little eyes opened again while she tried to wiggle her tiny body.
“I don’t think she’s happy about you blaming your flatulence on her,” I teased.
Avery opened her mouth to argue right as Sienna let another one rip. Avery looked down at Sienna and chuckled. “You are not helping, little lady.”
We spent the next ten minutes cooing and laughing as our tiny baby continued to randomly fart like a grown man. When Karen came over, we knew it was time for shift change, so we chose that as a good time to leave.
Avery didn’t say a word until we reached the parking lot. “Do you think my car will be okay here overnight? I don’t want to drive home if I don’t have to.”
“I’ll have one of the brothers come by and get it.”
“Thank you. I’m just so tired,” she admitted.
Once we were in the car, I asked, “Do you want to talk about it before we go home?”
“No, I don’t want to, but I probably should.”
“If it helps, I know everything except what was in the letter.”
“How?” she asked in surprise.
“I called Phoenix to get t
he Sheriff’s number when we couldn’t find you. He filled me in on Chuck’s visit,” I explained.
Avery nodded and reached into her purse. Without a word, she handed me the envelope. “Read it.”
“Are you sure? It’s okay if you don’t want me to read it.”
“I’m sure. Go ahead,” she encouraged and tipped her head toward the paper in my hand.
I carefully read the last words her husband had for her, and I noticed the drop of blood in the bottom corner of the letter. Suddenly, I knew why he was parked on the side of the highway that night.
“Was Mark one of the officers that responded to the accident?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose and tried to remember. “I honestly don’t know. There was one and then, all of a sudden, there were at least twelve. I was in shock, Avery, and I don’t remember a lot of that night.”
“He had to have been to have this letter. He told me he wasn’t there, that one of the other officers called and told him it was Ian so he wouldn’t have to see his friend like that. But he had this letter, so he had to be there.”
“You’re right,” I agreed.
“It’s his fault, you know. All of it is his fault.”
“What do you mean?”
“If Mark hadn’t been insane, Ian wouldn’t have left to protect me and the kids, he wouldn’t have been parked on the side of the highway, and you wouldn’t have crashed into him,” she paused and hiccupped on a sob. “And we wouldn’t have Sienna. I feel so fucking guilty. How can I be happy about my child that exists because my husband died? I don’t know how to handle those feelings, Kellan. I feel like a horrible person because I love you and I love her. What am I supposed to do?”
I pulled her against my chest and buried my face in her hair. “We’ll get through this,” I vowed. Come hell or highwater, we would get through it.
44
Avery
When we got back to the house, everyone was in the living room waiting for us. “Mommy! I learned a new magic trick. Can I show you?” Riley asked excitedly.
“Oh, Riley, I don’t think you should show your mom right now,” my father interjected.
“But I want to,” Riley whined.
“It’s fine, Dad. Show me your magic trick.”
“Avery, I really don—”
“It’s all right,” I interrupted.
He sighed and waved his hands dismissively. “Okay, have at it, Riley.”
“Come into the kitchen and prepare to be mesmermazed!” she said.
Kellan and I followed her into the kitchen. She climbed onto a stool at the kitchen counter in front of a bottle of water. “Now, I’m going to place this quarter under the bottle of water and make it disappear. Are you ready?”
“I think so.”
She carefully placed the quarter on the counter and set the bottle of water on top of it. Then, she covered it with a kitchen towel. “Abra-cabra-dabra-zoom!” she declared and removed the kitchen towel.
“It’s gone! See!” she squealed and pointed to the bottle.
I leaned over the bottle to look for the coin when she reached out and squeezed the uncapped bottle, soaking my hair and face with water.
“Gotcha!” she laughed.
I stood in my kitchen, dripping water all over the floor, unsure of how to react. Kellan, on the other hand, had no problem guffawing loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear.
“Sorry, peanut,” my dad chuckled. “I tried to warn you.”
I wiped my face with the handy kitchen towel and looked at my daughter who was laughing so hard her face was turning red. “Where’d you learn that magic trick, little miss?”
“Papa taught it to me.”
I whipped my head back to my dad who was pointing to the living room. “Blame your mother. She did it to me.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. For as long as I could remember, my parents had always played random pranks on each other.
“Mommy,” Braxton said softly as he came into the kitchen. “My tummy hurts.”
I picked him up and set him on the counter. “Did it just start hurting?” I asked as I automatically ran my hand over his forehead. “Oh, baby, you feel hot. Let me get the thermometer.”
“I’ll get it,” Kellan offered. “Where is it?”
“It’s in the medicine cabinet in the kids’ bathroom. It’s white and looks like an electric shaver.”
“He hasn’t said anything about not feeling well all day,” my dad said with a concerned look on his face.
Braxton leaned forward and laid his head against my chest. “It’s okay, baby,” I soothed and gently rubbed his back. My little guy loved to cuddle with me when he was sick, and though I never wanted him to be sick, I thoroughly enjoyed the cuddles when he was.
Kellan returned to the kitchen and held up the thermometer. “Is this it? Because it was the only thing that even remotely fit your description.”
“That’s it. Thank you.” I took the thermometer, turned it on, and ran it over Braxton’s forehead.
“Oh, one hundred and two point six. You are running a fever. Let’s get you some medicine for that,” I said and tried to keep my tone light.
“Kellan,” Braxton said weakly and reached out for him.
“Oh, honey, Kellan can’t hold you yet.”
“Yes, I can. I just can’t lift him, but he can climb in my lap,” Kellan said as he pulled out a kitchen chair and took a seat.
I placed Braxton on the floor and he made a beeline for Kellan while I went to get the children’s fever reducer. When I returned, Braxton was resting against Kellan’s chest with flushed cheeks while he stared off into space. Suddenly, Braxton sat straight up with a look of panic on his face. I knew that look, but there was nothing I could do to stop what was about to happen.
I didn’t even have time to utter a warning before Braxton opened his mouth and spewed vomit in a way that would make little demon-possessed girls envious. It went everywhere—the kitchen island, the floor, Kellan’s arm, chest, and lap.
To my complete surprise, he didn’t even flinch. No, he reached up and wiped Braxton’s mouth with his bare hand before cradling him against a clean part of his shirt. “You’re okay, little man. That was a lot, but you’re okay,” Kellan soothed as Braxton cried.
As if things weren’t bad enough, Riley jumped down from the stool and ran through the kitchen. I assumed the living room was her intended destination, but she never made it. Instead, her feet came out from under her when she hit the slime spewed from her brother and landed flat on her back in the middle of it. Amazingly, Kellan reached out and managed to get his hand under her head before it collided with the hard floor. And then the screaming started.
“Is it too cold to take you all outside and spray you off with the hose?” I asked before I reached down and plucked my daughter from the mess in the floor.
“Let’s get you out of these dirty clothes and into the bath,” I said and pulled her shirt over her head.
She shrieked in outrage and slapped her hands over her chest. “They can’t see my business! They’re boys!”
“They’re not looking, honey. I promise,” I said and carefully carried her out of the kitchen to the bathroom down the hall. “I’ll be right back,” I yelled.
“We can handle it, peanut,” my dad replied.
“Riley, I know you don’t like them, but I need you to take a shower this time so I can go take care of your brother. I’ll help you and we can get it done and over with.”
“I don’t care, Mommy. Just get this yucky stuff off of me, please.”
I wanted to laugh, but I couldn’t let this wonderful opportunity pass. I started the water and turned to my vomit-coated daughter with a serious face. “Do you understand why I tell you not to run in the house now?”
“Yes,” she cried. “Please help me get my pants off.”
Thankfully, Riley was so disgusted by her current state that she didn’t make a big fuss about the shower. Any other time, it
would have been easier to extract a tooth from her than get her to take a shower. She was a bath girl, hands down.
Once we were finished, I wrapped her in a fluffy towel and sent her to her room to put on her pajamas. I tossed her dirty clothes into the washing machine and made my way back to the kitchen.
“Careful; the floor’s wet,” Kellan said and pointed to the mop propped in the corner.
“Thank you. Where’s Brax?”
“Your dad took him upstairs to get a bath started,” Kellan said and stopped abruptly like there was more he wanted to say but didn’t.
“You can toss your clothes in the washer with Riley’s. I’ll start it when I add Braxton’s,” I said and grabbed the medicine from the counter.
When I got to the bathroom upstairs, my dad was visibly flustered and Braxton was in the bathtub crying for Kellan. “What’s going on?”
“I want Kellan!” Braxton demanded and slapped his hands in the water.
“Hey, now, little mister. You might be sick, but you can still mind your manners,” I scolded and felt like an ass when he cried even harder.
“He wanted Kellan to give him a bath, but Kellan wasn’t sure if you were okay with that,” my dad said quietly.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
My dad gave me a pointed look. “Avery, he’s a man and these aren’t his kids. Think about it from his perspective for just a moment.”
“Oh,” I said as realization dawned. “I, um,” I stammered. I trusted Kellan with my children, implicitly, but my emotions were all over the place and I couldn’t find the right words to express my feelings, so I settled for, “Will you send him up?”
“Of course. Do you want me to put Braxton’s clothes in the wash?”
“Yes, please. And will you start the load for me? Riley’s and Kellan’s clothes are already in there.”
“What about yours?”
I looked down and realized I had some of the nastiness on my shirt, too. “I’ll watch him while you grab another shirt.”
Savior (Blackwings MC - Devil Springs Book 3) Page 21
