by Sharon Joss
CHAPTER 4
Two hours later I sat opposite my red-faced supervisor in his City Hall office. My scrapes stung like crazy, and I had a booming headache of mythic proportions. The EMTs had taped big white squares of gauze to each of my knees, the palms of both hands, and one elbow. My white Parking Control shirt had a torn sleeve, a lost button, and a big oil stain on the left boob, but miraculously, I had managed to avoid hitting the mayor. My shirt was the only loss. Oh yeah, and the trike.
Of their own accord, my eyes drifted to the corner of Mike’s office. I gulped down a horrified giggle. Teratosis was a rare condition, but the symptoms were well documented. Once you acquired an un-materialized demon, you simply couldn’t get any more. It was not possible.
“Mattie, at least give me the courtesy of pretending you’re paying attention, would you? I swear you’ve got the attention span of a gnat. This is exactly what I am talking about.”
“Sorry.”
I felt more like a four-year old facing her first spanking than a grown woman in her late twenties. Poor Mike. He probably felt worse than I did. Along with being my boss, he was a good friend. For the last six years, I’d eaten all my Thanksgiving dinners at his house. I’d helped him shop for his wife’s birthday presents. Hell, my brother was his mechanic.
“How about explaining to me how the hell this happened?”
Of course the harder I tried not to look, the more fascinating the vampire toad became. My glance flicked to the corner again. This particular demonic hallucination smelled strong enough to curl my nose hairs. Its yellow eyes compelled my attention. I struggled to breathe without gagging. Thank goodness, Mike was unaware of the smell. It’s not real, Mattie.
“Mike, you know what a nuisance those feral cats are. The darn thing ran right in front of me.” I didn’t like lying, but more than anything, I wanted to keep my job. City employees are specifically prohibited from fraternizing with teratozoids, heteroclites, demons, ghosts, or spirits of any kind. Especially during business hours.
“You’re a lousy liar. The mayor called me to give me the blow-by-blow. I’ll tell you, he’s pretty shaken up. He is demanding that you be tested for drugs. I received emails from two other witnesses who will swear you jumped the curb and rammed that hydrant for no reason.”
“I guess I got distracted for a second. It could have happened to anybody.”
The turd-colored toad sat right next to Blix. I’d never heard of anyone with two. Absolutely not possible. Yet there they squatted, a few steps away from where Mike and I sat at the cramped conference table. Neither one would be much of a threat to a decent-sized guinea pig, yet both gave me the creeps in a gut-sickening way. I dragged my eyes back to Mike.
“How the hell did you manage to wreck a three-wheeled scooter? My maintenance budget for the whole year is out the window, thanks to you. Our budget was already stretched to the max. The parking division is supposed to be profitable. We can’t do our jobs without scooters now, can we?” Beads of sweat glistened between the sparse dark hairs on his scalp. He looked like he was about to cry.
“I’m sorry, Mike. You know I didn’t plan this, I can ride rings around anybody.”
All the air went out of him. He shriveled into a balding little man before my eyes.
“Mattie, are you going to tell me the truth here or not? Why the hell did you try to run down the mayor?”
He was breaking my heart. I wanted to tell him, but there was no way. I only needed to hold things together for a few more hours.
“It was an accident. I give you my word, it won’t happen again.”
“Parking Control is a plum job. The list of people waiting for the next opening here is longer than my arm. You guys may all think I’m part of the gang, but I take my responsibilities seriously. In case you forgot, we owe our jobs to the taxpayers of Picston.”
“I know; I love this job. Parking Control is my life. I’ll do anything to fix this. I’ll pay for the damages.” Of course, I’d just hocked my bike to come up with the rest of the green I needed for Merle Shine. My employee badge lay on the Formica surface between us. I chewed my lower lip. I was going to need a second job.
“This isn’t just about you. This reflects badly on the entire department and me personally. Come on Mattie, you’ve got to give me something to tell the mayor. Anything.”
I couldn’t tell him the truth. Two months ago, my landlady had been arrested for harboring an unregistered demon. Neighbors said her ex-husband tipped off the FBI. The SWAT team showed up at dawn with dogs and conducted the search while the local news station covered all the lurid details. Weeks later, a steady stream of gawkers still cruised by the house every day. Everyone in Shore Haven knew Patty. She’d worked the breakfast shift at Dave’s Killer Burgers for more than a decade. After the arrest, the guys on the force turned on her with a vengeance that appalled me. I couldn’t let that happen to me. Not when I was so close to getting rid of Blix. And now, with the toad guy showing up, there’s no way I could tell him. It would be all over City Hall by lunchtime. I’d make it up to him. Starting tomorrow.
“Okay, have it your way.” He tapped my badge. “This is a policy violation. I can’t let it go.”
The blood drained from my face and I froze. Oh man, he wasn’t kidding. He was going to fire me. What would I do? I’d never get another job as good as this one. I sent out a silent prayer. I’ll do anything, please!
“I’m suspending you for two weeks without pay, starting right now. With this trike out of commission, we don’t have enough vehicles to support the shift anyway. I’ll figure out something to tell the City Manager and finance folks.” He slumped back in his chair and closed my personnel folder.
I stifled a hiccup as relief surged through me.
“Thanks Mike,” I croaked. “You’re the best. You won’t be sorry.” At least I still had a job. I bit my lips shut to stop them from trembling. If I said one more word, I’d lose it.
“I’m not done yet. I’m putting you on six months probation. When you come back, you’ll be subject to random drug testing. Any violations, or missteps and you’ll be out.”
I trembled as the delayed shock of the morning events hit me. I studied a bloody scrape on the back of my knuckles.
He leaned forward and chucked my chin. His earnest face searched mine. “Hey. I’m worried about you, Blackman. Are you all right?”
I didn’t know how to answer such a loaded question. Mike knew about my mother, the whole town did. Once you get that tar on you, it sticks in people’s minds forever. Not telling him made my heart hurt. I didn’t want Mike thinking I was nuts, but there was no way. Teratosis was somewhere below having crabs on the social acceptability meter, and law enforcement had about as much respect for paranormals and demons as crackheads and lepers. If anyone on the force or in the department found out about my demon problem, my life would be over. I swallowed hard.
I could see he’d already made up his mind. I couldn’t stand the pity on his face.
My eyes filled and I looked away.
He sighed and gave my arm a gentle squeeze. “You’re like the department mascot Mattie. Everybody around here loves you, but you haven’t been yourself lately. I’m not the only one who’s noticed, either. Use this time constructively. Talk to someone. Get your head straightened out.”
I nodded. “Yeah.” I tried not to breathe.
“Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something.”
At that moment, the security officer arrived and I blushed furiously. My ex-boyfriend Kip here to escort me out of the building. How thoughtful of him to volunteer for the job.
Mike dropped my badge into the center drawer of his desk. “I’ll see you back here in two weeks. Try to keep the excitement to a minimum, okay?”
Of all the people to usher me to my ultimate humiliation, no worse choice came to mind than Kip Bruckner. I wanted to slap the smirk right off his face, but I didn’t dare. What a winner thi
s day turned out to be.
Kip ogled the oil stain on my shirt. “You’ve been a busy girl.”
I gritted my teeth and embraced my hostility. Being pissed off was a lot better than being pitied; and nobody irritated me quicker than Kip. He couldn't help himself, he was naturally obnoxious, it was one of the reasons I broke up with him. Or I guess you might say it had been a mutual parting of the ways. Or would have been if not for that oversexed Public Information Officer, Lacey Lippman, the mouth-breathing Queen of Lookatme. I was conscious of the stares as we made our way to the exit. The worst thing I could do was to give Kip any more ammunition. I squared my shoulders and walked toward the stairs.
“There was a reporter here earlier, trying to get a statement from the Mayor’s office.”
“Shut up.” I picked up the pace and entered the exit stairwell. My stiff knees protested in silence as we descended two flights to the lobby. I wasn’t about to let Kip see me hurting. I reached the front doors and didn’t look back.
No one followed me as I walked down the steps of City Hall into the oppressive noon green. I unlocked my Trusty Rusty red Honda and got in. But I instantly detected the presence of my two followers by the distinctive licorice-and-raw-sewage reek that accompanied them. Sure enough, two pairs of lidless golden eyes stared at me from the back seat of the car. Goody, goody; my very own entourage mirage.
