by Maya Daniels
I’m missing Remi, Jezzinta and Meda so much I start sharing my thoughts with Lucifer. How pathetic. He says nothing, though, and I feel his fingers gently tracing a pattern on the inside of my wrist. It’s a soothing sensation and I close my eyes and take a deep breath. As I exhale, he drops my arm and lifts his head.
“He marked you, the bastard!”
His eyes are glowing and it makes me realize that if anyone has ever seen the angel like this, it’s no wonder they compare him to a demon or Satan. It’s unnerving, so I reach my hand and touch his face. Just like before I passed out, he closes his eyes and leans on my palm like it’s the most natural thing to do. My stomach flip-flops again and I snatch it back like he burned me. He looks at me with sad eyes, but in a second the emotion is gone and the all-knowing stare is back. I’m glad! I can deal with that! What did he say? Ah right, he marked me. I look down twisting my arm slowly out of fear it’ll hurt again if I move too fast. On the spot where Lucifer was tracing shapes there is a branded apple on my skin. I laugh! I couldn’t hold it in if I tried.
“You think that is funny? You have lost your mind, Alexia!” he yells, and I stop laughing.
“He put a brand on me like I’m a cow, and you think that’s not funny?”
“It is not!” he snaps.
“You know, Lucifer, when I look back now to the first moment I saw him, I realize what kind of a moron I was. Every time Tomas and his minions were around, Derik was ‘accidently’ there to save the day. Instead of seeing it for what it was, fool that I am, I took it as a sign that he was meant to be in my life. So instead of going crazy and destroying myself in the process with such thoughts, I decided to laugh. If you have a problem with that, get the fuck out of my room.” I finish calmly and start laughing again. Maybe he is right. Maybe I did finally lose it, but I can’t stop laughing if my life depended on it.
He slowly comes closer and sits on the bed. I see him lifting my arm slowly, looking at me to see if it still hurts, and I shake my head, letting him know that it does not, but I still laugh and giggle like crazy. Understanding that the pain is gone, he pulls gently on my hand so that I move towards him, but I resist. I want to laugh, not move. His eyes go sad again and he pulls harder, so involuntarily my upper body moves towards him and he engulfs me in his arms, placing my head in the crook of his shoulder with one palm on the back of my head. As my nose touches the skin on his neck, all laughter leaves me and sobs start coming out, like all they waited was for us to have this skin-to-skin contact. I cry for myself, for my sisters and everything they are going through because of me, for my life, and for the death that constantly eludes me. His arms tighten around me, and I cry for what feels like forever. The tremors from my body shake not just me, but him and the bed, too.
“Let it out, witch, it’s okay. I’ve got you, I swear it. I’ve got you and will not let go again,” he mumbles in my hair and it makes me cry harder. I don’t stop crying until we hear a knock on the door and Daisy pokes her head in.
11
“Oh…I’ll come back later,” Daisy mumbles and starts closing the door.
“Come in, old woman. I’m sure you’re better at this than I am,” says Lucifer, and for some reason I feel hurt by those words, so I push away from him, wiping my eyes with my hands. I’m angry at myself for crying. Lately it seems like all I do around him is cry.
“No one needs to be good at it, I’m fine. I guess the shock of being played for a fool never gets old,” I tell no one in particular.
“Oh, dear child, you didn’t deserve this.” Daisy walks in quickly, sits on the other side of Lucifer and pulls me in for a hug.
I hug her back, but I pull away shortly. As I was crying, I felt the emptiness in my chest grow wider with each tear. It feels like I have a black hole in me and it chills me to the bone. Whatever bricks I pulled out from the walls I had built around me lately were pushed back in their place and those walls turned into an impenetrable titanium fortress. Good! I want it that way.
“I know where Remi, Jezzinta and Meda are,” I tell her. “And I met another woman there, Faith, but the monsters got her before we got to the forest. I need to go back to bring them home.”
I don’t go into explanations about anything else because I’d like to pretend it didn’t happen. I want to forget the whole thing. I’ll push it to the back of my mind and never think of it. Daisy looks at me with sad eyes brimming with tears she’s fighting to keep from sliding down her cheeks. I feel a little pang in my black hole of a heart, but I take a deep breath and push it away. The time for stupid emotions is over. It’s funny how detachment works. I think I can understand the mindset of an assassin now—look at everyone like an object and don’t allow any form of emotion to penetrate your shield. I wonder why I haven’t done this before. It would’ve made things much easier for everyone.
“Oh, Tiamat is in the same realm, too,” I say as an afterthought.
“She was?” Daisy’s eyes go wide. It’s almost comical.
“Yes, she was. Well, she was hanging from a ceiling in a temple. I believe she was present, but I’m not sure if it was a projection or if she manifested herself there.”
“I’m grateful to the Goddess you’re safe,” says Daisy softly more to herself than to me, I think.
“I’m not grateful to her that I’m back here. I needed to stay
there. There’s a lot I need to do there to pay back what I owe to some.”
My voice sounds strange to my own ears—calm, cold and emotionless. The tears in Daisy’s eyes spill over but she presses her lips into a thin white line and she says nothing. Then her eyes go to my neck. She lifts her arm and touches the necklace. I had totally forgotten about it until now. I look at Lucifer and he stares at it now, too, with narrowed eyes. I lift one eyebrow at him daring him to say a word. I need to go back to the damned realm. There is too much anger and hurt bottled up in me, and it’ll be better used there, where I will get the girls out, than on my tantrums fixed on the angel here.
“I shall accompany you there.” He makes the statement as if he is addressing his subjects.
“How noble of you, my lord,” I say sarcastically and roll my eyes at him.
“I’ll need you to grab herbs, pastes, bandages, whatever you can find and have them ready. I don’t know what kind of condition they’ll be in, judging by what I saw in that temple. My grandmother’s book, too, in case we need a spell from it,” I tell Daisy.
“A spell from it?” She echoes my words.
“Yes, a spell. They are held by dark wizards. I wouldn’t put it past them to have some sort of binding spell on them. Each is powerful in her own right, but I’m sure they would’ve come back on their own if their powers weren’t bound.”
“Of course, you’re right. I’m just not thinking straight at this moment.” She shakes her head.
“I’ll break the binding spells when we find them,” Lucifer says in a matter-of-fact way and I can’t stop my remark.
“Yes, almighty Lucifer, the All-Knowing. Maybe you should’ve checked for spells before you gave that bastard whatever power you gave him, if I remember correctly. You know, the wings he sprouted when he was fighting Enlil.”
Lucifer rears his head like I just punched him in the face and he takes one step back. I know I should feel bad and should apologize, but strangely, I don’t feel like doing any of that. I even feel the corners of my mouth lifting in a bitchy smile at his discomfort.
“Unfortunately, even I can be deceived with sentimentalities, witch, but I have every intention of showing my gratitude for it in person,” he growls.
“Yeah, whatever. I don’t have time to dwell on your bruised ego. I have shit to do.” I wave my hand nonchalantly and reach to touch my necklace to go back. With lightning-fast speed he snatches my wrist and I look at him, stunned. What the fuck. Is he going to try and stop me from going back? I’m getting ready to start cursing and arguing but he shuts me up.
“I’ll transport us there. That ne
cklace will take you to a different realm.”
“No, it will not! Azalea said it’ll bring me back to the Dark Realm.”
“Is that what she calls herself these days? Azalea?”
I can hear the anger in Lucifer’s voice, but I can needle him for information later. Now I just want to get this done with, so I don’t argue.
“Ok, never mind. Let’s go! There’s no time like the present!”
“Not until you eat something first, witch. I have no intention of carrying you around astral planes.”
Like on purpose, my stomach growls like an angry bear at his words and Daisy snorts a laugh at the same time. She slaps a hand over her mouth and looks at me widening her eyes like she’s surprised herself. I shake my head at her but don’t make any smartass remarks. I’ll eat and we’ll go. I can’t remember the last time I ate, if you don’t count the few bites three months ago before I passed out. I keep asking myself the same question all the time. How am I alive? I swear, it’s a mystery.
“Ok, let’s go eat and not waste time.”
Daisy and Lucifer exchange a look at my words, but I can’t see where what I said would cause a silent eye-talk between the two, and if I’m honest, I don’t care. I swing my legs off the bed and stand up, happy that my knees don’t buckle after being horizontal for an extended period of time. Slowly but surely, I find my way to the kitchen, but Daisy who is following me like a shadow, points at a chair and goes towards the fridge.
“I guess I’ve been given my orders,” I tell Lucifer over my shoulder and plop onto the chair.
He shakes his head like I’m a spoiled child for making remarks like that, but I give him my most innocent wide-eyed look. He snorts, turning his eyes quickly towards Daisy to see if she heard him. Seeing that makes me shake my head. I’ll almost believe the angel gives a fuck about who thinks what of him. Daisy walks back with plates full of baked pasta and my mouth waters at the sight. I believe I inhaled the food in less than a minute. Lifting my head up from the plate, I realize they are not eating but staring at me with worry.
“What? I was hungry!” I say defensively.
Without a word they both look down at their own plates and start eating. Since I have to wait, I get up, get one more plateful and eat that, too, while giving them sideways glances every time they start watching me eat. I’ve always been a bottomless pit when I’m hungry. I can eat a horse, as my grandmother used to say. As soon as Lucifer puts his fork down, I jump up.
“Okay, let’s go.”
“Let us be on our way, witch.” With a sigh, he lifts himself off the chair and comes to stand in front of me. He swirls his hand, opening a portal right in the middle of the kitchen like it’s the most natural thing in the world, while we witches have to open circles and use our life force to do it, and even then it’s not guaranteed. Meda would hate his guts.
Grabbing hold of my hand, I hear him mumble, “I hope you don’t get sick,” and before I say a word, he pulls me through it.
Nausea threatens to bring up everything I ate, but I gulp air like a fish out of water, trying to hold it down. It takes a few moments until I get my bearings and I’m sure the food will stay in my stomach. Cold sweat gathers on my forehead and the palms of my hands first go numb, then become tingly. Still breathing through my nose just in case, I straighten up and stare accusingly at Lucifer, who is giving me the ‘I warned you’ look and I start wiping my hands on my thighs. I guess it must be nice to be an angel, since he managed to change his clothes while walking through the portal. He is dressed all in black, his shirt stretched across his wide chest, all but ready to burst at any moment, and there’s a cloak clasped at his neck. I roll my eyes and start turning to see if we are at the bottom of the mountain, only to freeze and look down at myself. Seeing what I’m wearing, I whirl back to him, pissed. Grabbing hold of the white floor-length dress, I thrust my hand holding the fabric towards him.
“What the fuck am I, a virgin sacrifice??”
He throws his head back and starts laughing a deep belly laugh as I look horrified at where the fabric is stretched because I’m pulling on it. Thanks to the huge moon here, the fucking thing is see-through, and I bend at the waist to see what he sees. Yup! I might as well be naked, as this dress doesn’t cover much. I realize I have a cloak, too, which is hanging off my shoulder, thanks to my acrobatic twisting to see if the dress was hiding my body. As fast as I can, I grab the sides of the cloak and wrap it tightly around me. At last he stops laughing, but he’s still chuckling.
“Asshole!”
“I figured we had better blend in, witch. I’m shielding us both, so they will not know we are here. I suggest you pull the hood as far down as you can.” Pulling his own, he starts walking past me as if he doesn’t care whether I follow.
I’m shaking, squeezing my fists into the fabric of the cloak, wishing it was his neck. I feel the heat starting to build in my palms, and I abruptly release it so I don’t burn the cloak while I’m wearing it. Taking a deep breath, I shake them like a weightlifter preparing to pick up a truck and turn to follow him only to stop and stare again.
We’re on top of the mountain where the temple stretches up all Dracula-like towards the sky, looming over us like a dark cloud of evil. Apparently Lucifer stops to wait for me, because he stands a few steps away with the temple to his back. The moon’s glow is casting silvery shadows across his face, and his eyes are glowing slightly through his half-lidded stare. He truly is a sight to behold, but that isn’t why I stare. There is a golden glow outlining his body and as I watch, I see it pushing at the darkness around him, almost as if trying to hold it at bay. With every pulse of the golden light, a shimmer of rainbow passes through it. I know my mouth is open. My jaw is almost hitting the ground, but I’m mesmerized by it. Slowly I take a few steps, reaching my fingers towards it. I want to see how it feels when you try to make contact with it. It feels like I’m in a trance. Just as my fingers are about to touch the golden glow, he grabs my wrist.
“What are you playing at, witch?”
“Can I touch it?” I lift my eyes to look at him and I can only imagine my eyes are as round as they can get.
“Touch what, exactly?”
“The golden glow that’s pushing the darkness away from you.”
I lower my eyes as I speak, staring at it again, and jump a little when he drops my arm and takes few steps away.
“You see it?” He’s looking at me like I’m a snake about to bite and I want to slap him.
“Of course I see it. I’m not fucking blind! It’s not exactly subtle. It’s a couple of inches around you,” I snap, waving my hand at him and pointing at his body.
“No one but I sees my power, Alexia. What you are seeing, if I believe that you see it, is the shield I have on both of us. Do you see it on yourself, too?”
I lift my arm to look and turn to face the same way he is facing, thinking maybe the moonlight has something to do with it, but I can’t see anything. No matter which way I turn, I still see nothing but my skin and the darkness around me. Although now that I think of it…
“I can’t see it on me, but I can definitely tell I have a shield.” He narrows his eyes and is about to speak but I cut him off, putting my palm in his face. “When I was here the first time, even merged with Inanna, the evil still penetrated my thoughts. I almost let go of the rocks and fell down the mountain. I don’t feel suicidal now, if it makes you feel better.”
“This whole thing is crazy,” he says frustrated.
“Well, we can talk about crazy when we’re back home. Let’s get the girls first. We’re wasting time. It seems like I keep saying we’re wasting time, yet shit keeps happening left and right. I’m starting to think it’s happening on purpose so I don’t get to them on time.”
I start walking towards the front of the temple, pulling the hood as low as I can. As I reach the entrance, the thought of what I will see inside hits me, but I shake it off. My sisters, that’s what I need to focus on. Everything e
lse is secondary. Taking a deep breath, I step inside the hallway and start walking towards the center of the temple with brisk steps. I feel Lucifer walking behind me, but not because I can hear him. I have no idea how a man (angel?...whatever you want to call him) as large as he is can make no sound at all. It’s almost like he’s floating. I’m barefoot again, but I can still hear every step I take, my bare feet slapping softly on the stone floors. No, I can’t hear him but I sure as hell can feel him. Like a security blanket, he gives off this calming energy to me and I’m not sure if he does it on purpose or if it’s just him. I’ll think on it later. I reach the doorway and walk through it without stopping. I was expecting that walking-through-an oil-lake-feeling again, but I didn’t feel it. I guess the shield holds well, thank the Goddess. I stop dead in my tracks and Lucifer bumps into my back, making me stumble farther in. Looking around makes want to scream. It’s empty! No monsters, no victims! I look up. Nope, no snake-like dragon and definitely no betraying shitheads.
“I told you we’d be late! Now what?” I look at Lucifer.
“You were expecting someone, witch?” he says angrily.
“Yes, I was! How the fuck are we going to get in the caves without a lantern? I don’t see anyone here to give us one, oh mighty Lucifer,” I mock him. I’m pissed, so at least I’ll get him in a pissy mood, too. The more the merrier and all that crap.
“Don’t be a bitch, Alexia, it doesn’t become you.” He sniffs and strides with purpose towards the altar, opposite where we’re standing.
I turn around, cross my arms on my chest and wait to see what he’ll do next. My mind is going three hundred miles an hour trying to think of a way to find a lantern, but I’m coming up blank. I guess we can go on the path parallel to the mountain and it might lead us to wherever those monsters came from the first time I saw them. One second Lucifer is standing with his back to me leaning towards the columns with the skulls on them, and the next second, he turns lightning-fast and throws something at me. Reflexively I reach with my right hand and catch it only to realize it’s a lantern. I was about to jump and hoot with excitement when I feel its ugly, oily, sticky tendrils start trying to wrap themselves around my life force.
