by Jae
Dawn's cheek moved away from Aiden's shoulder as Dawn leaned back to look at her. "Did I say something wrong?" she asked timidly.
"Wrong?" Aiden shook her head. "No." She had known from the beginning that Dawn wanted the whole white-picket-fence scenario. Dawn had always been the commitment type. Aiden had never been like that. No matter with whom she had been over the last dozen years, she had always insisted on keeping her own place. She liked their relationship just the way it was now and wasn't prepared for any changes.
"What is it, then?" Dawn asked and tentatively stroked Aiden's leg again.
Aiden wasn't up for this discussion. Not now. "I'm just tired," she said with a sigh.
But Dawn knew her too well to believe it. "It's because I mentioned wanting to have kids to Eliza, isn't it?"
Aiden rubbed her neck, kneading the tense muscles. "I'm just not ready for that," she admitted.
"Neither am I," Dawn said to Aiden's surprise.
"But you said –"
"That I'd love to have a baby with you, yes," Dawn confirmed.
The certainty in her voice made Aiden's stomach churn. Aiden wasn't certain about it at all, and knowing that they were on different pages and that it could cause serious problems in their relationship was putting even more strain on her already overtaxed nerves.
"But not right here and now," Dawn continued, her voice soothing as if she could sense the subject had Aiden on edge.
Aiden forced a smile. "Well, right here and now would have been a little hard to handle anyway," she said, gesturing down her body, "because you and I both lack the necessary equipment."
Dawn tenderly ran her fingers through the hair on Aiden's neck. "You're being a true cop – making jokes when a subject hits a little too close to home and you don't know what to say." There was no sharp reprimand in her voice, just affectionate resignation. "I meant what I said. Our relationship is not yet at a point where we'd make serious plans to have a baby."
Not yet, Aiden silently repeated. "But it's what you'd like to happen in... in a few years?" she asked even though she already knew the answer.
"Yes," Dawn confirmed. She squeezed Aiden's thigh in encouragement. "But there are a lot of steps in our relationship before that happens."
"Steps?" Aiden didn't like the sound of that. There was no doubt in her mind that she wanted a relationship with Dawn. She was happy with the way things were going, and she didn't want to endanger that by changing anything.
A smile played around Dawn's lips. "You could move in with me," she suggested. "I'd love to come home to you every night."
Dawn had made that suggestion before, but back then, the offer had included a "someday." Aiden had been fine with the thought of moving in together when it had been just one day in the far future, nothing that turned her life upside down in the present.
Aiden tried to imagine what it would be like to live with Dawn. Coming home after an eight-hour interrogation, with clothes stained with the blood of a victim she had been unable to protect. She couldn't imagine being around anyone when she was in a mood like that. "I know keeping two separate apartments in a city like Portland is highly impractical, not to mention expensive," she said hesitantly. "Sharing an apartment would –"
"No." Dawn vigorously shook her head. "I don't want you as a roommate. I want a life partner. I don't want you to move in for practical or financial reasons. I want to share my life and my home with you."
There was so much passion and emotion in Dawn's voice that Aiden didn't know how to answer. She stared helplessly at Dawn.
"You really are beat," Dawn realized. She tenderly stroked a few strands back from Aiden's face. "We should go to bed. We can talk about this later."
Aiden felt the sudden urge to tell her she would sleep at her own place tonight, but she knew she couldn't give a reason that wouldn't hurt Dawn, so she just nodded tiredly.
"Come on." Dawn took her hand and tugged her up from the couch.
Feeling a little numb, Aiden followed her to the bedroom.
CHAPTER 30
"SO THAT'S HOW the upper crust lives, huh?" Del lazily dangled her feet in the pool and turned her head to look at Kade, who sat in the shadow of the patio and was tapping away at her laptop.
Kade stopped for a moment, her slender fingers lingering over the keyboard. She lifted a single eyebrow at Del. "I don't know what you're talking about," she stated with playful indignation. "You're the one who's lazing around while I'm working my ass off."
Del laughed. "Okay, you got me there."
The patio doors opened, and Sophie Matheson stepped outside. "Ah, here you are hiding. I'm about to get ready for a round of tennis. Would one of you girls want to play?"
Girls? Del turned her face away to hide her grin. It had been a lot of years since anyone had called her a girl.
"No, thank you," Kade said with the polite but distanced tone she always took with her mother. "I'm working."
Sophie turned questioning eyes on Del, who suddenly froze. "Uh..."
"I'm going to get changed," Sophie said. "Just come over to the tennis court if you want to play. If not, I'm sure Margery," she pointed to the villa next door, "would be happy to join me." She closed the patio doors behind her.
Kade closed her laptop and turned to Del with an amused grin. "So, are you going to play with her?"
"What makes you think I even know how to play?" Del asked. "Just because I'm a lesbian doesn't mean I'm good at tennis. There's no such thing as a Martina gene, you know?"
"Afraid to lose?" Kade teased.
Del folded her arms over her chest. "Why don't you play with her? She's your mother after all."
"Oh, I played with her a thousand times already," Kade said with a superior toss of her head. "There's just no challenge anymore."
Del thought about it. She knew it would be impolite to refuse Mrs. Matheson's offer, and it was not as if she had anything else to do. How hard can it be to hit a couple of balls back and forth over the net with a fragile high society woman like Sophie Thayer Matheson? Come on, be a good guest and go make nice with Mom.
She stood and walked across the patio. Stopping in front of Kade's chaise lounge, she bent down and offered her cheek to Kade. "Kiss for good luck?" she asked with her most charming smile.
Kade quickly looked at the patio doors, making sure no one was watching them. She grabbed Del's shirt and decisively directed her closer.
Del followed willingly. Warm lips caressed her cheek, skimming over the corner of her mouth before moving away. Tingling electricity hummed through Del, and she leaned back against the armrest of the chaise lounge.
"There," Kade said, visibly fighting down a blush. "Now go and play."
Playing tennis was the last thing on Del's mind, but when Kade hid behind the screen of her laptop again, she straightened and walked to the patio doors. "Do I get another kiss if I win?" she asked when she reached them and stopped to look back.
Kade looked at her over the rim of her glasses. "Sure," she nodded easily, "if my mother is willing to kiss you for beating her."
"Shouldn't the winner get to choose her prize?" Del asked.
Suddenly, Kade visibly shut down. The smile disappeared, and she looked at Del with a deadly serious expression. "I'm not a prize, Del. At least not when it comes to relationships. I'm stubborn, independent, and impossible to live with."
Del didn't bat an eye. "Who needs easy when they can have Kade Matheson?" She gave her voice a teasing lilt, knowing the jury was still out on whether she could have Kade.
When she saw Kade maintaining her serious expression, she sobered. "Kade, I had relationships with women who were very easy to get along with. They were accommodating, friendly, and eager to please. As you can see, it didn't work out anyway." Del walked back to where Kade sat. "I can be pretty stubborn, independent, and impossible to live with too, and the older I get, the more set I become in my ways. I need a partner, not a servant. I need a woman who has a strong sense of herself and does
n't just go along with what I want."
"You're not stubborn," Kade said, for the moment ignoring that Del had just told her she would be a perfect match.
"Oh, I'm not?" Del chuckled. "You told me not once, but twice that you're straight and not interested in a relationship with me – yet here I am, about to impress my future mother-in-law."
Kade's eyes widened, but then she smiled too. "Try calling her that to her face, and you'll see how impressed she is."
Del strode to the patio doors. "I think for now I'll just dazzle her with my tennis game." She closed the doors behind her and looked back through the glass, making eye contact with Kade. They smiled at each other, and Del felt a ball of warm happiness spread inside her.
Finally, Kade turned back around, and Del went inside. She met Sophie on her way upstairs to change and told her she would play with her. Ten minutes later, she hesitantly stepped onto the tennis court.
Sophie Matheson was sitting on a bench, wearing a pleated tennis skirt and an elegant polo shirt that looked as if it had been tailor-made for her. She stood and smiled politely even though Del was sure she had secretly hoped Kade would be the one to come outside and play with her.
Sometimes it seemed to her as if Sophie wanted to make a connection with her daughter but didn't know how. Kade wasn't making it easy on her, for she had written off that relationship a long time ago.
Del felt Sophie's critical gaze wander down her body, from her sleeveless T-shirt to the simple shorts she was wearing, but Sophie didn't say anything. She just handed Del a racquet and told her to stretch. Del studied Sophie while she did her own stretches. She looked at Sophie's delicate frame and remembered that Sophie hadn't even been out of breath when she greeted them after coming from the tennis court.
Clearly, tennis wasn't a strenuous affair when you played with Sophie Matheson. Strolling around the court, chatting a little, hitting a few balls... I can do that. Maybe I should even let her win. If she's as competitive as her daughter, beating her wouldn't be good for staying in her good graces.
Finally, Sophie straightened, and they both took their positions on opposite sides of the tennis court. Sophie hit the first ball over the net. It came at Del in a slow pace, and she had no trouble hitting it back with a forehand. Del had played tennis before even though she was not an experienced player. She was in good shape and had no trouble keeping up with Sophie's leisurely game. This isn't so bad, she thought.
"All right," Sophie called after a few minutes. "If you are warmed up enough, let's begin."
Begin? Del thought. I thought that's what we were doing?
Then she didn't have time to think anymore because Sophie tossed up the ball and sent it spinning toward Del with a power she hadn't used before.
Del hastily ran back to reach the ball and lobbed it back over the net with little finesse.
Sophie reached the ball with a sudden burst of speed. Instead of hitting it back with great force, she softly tapped the ball so that it fell down just on the other side of the net.
Del had no chance of reaching it in time. She stopped running and stared at Sophie, who calmly took up her place behind the baseline again.
After an hour of trying to run down Sophie's cleverly placed backhands and unexpectedly powerful forehands, Del had lost the game in straight sets. Gasping for breath, she walked toward the net and shook Sophie's hand. "You Matheson women are really, really bad for my ego!" she wheezed. "First Kade beats me in chess, and now you make me look silly on the tennis court."
"Kadence still plays chess?" Sophie asked, not even out of breath.
Del nodded. She wiped away the sweat on her forehead with a corner of her shirt. "She's brilliant," Del said, not bothering to hide her admiration.
Sophie smiled wistfully. "Her father taught her how to play."
"I know."
Sophie turned to look at her. For a second, surprise was written all over her face.
Is she surprised that Kade talks about her father at all – or that she talked about him with me? Del wondered.
Sophie put her racquet away and gestured for Del to sit down next to her on the bench. "Kadence and her father... they were very much alike."
Del still couldn't read Sophie's expression. The older Matheson woman had a tight grip on her emotions, so she couldn't figure out if it was pride, grief, or regret that made her voice falter for a moment. It seemed to Del that Kade had been a daddy's girl all her life, and now that her father was dead, her mother didn't know how to relate to her. "Well, Kade has a lot in common with you too," she carefully pointed out. "Kade is a brilliant strategist in the courtroom, and you're a brilliant strategist on the tennis court. Jesus, you gave me a workout like I haven't had in quite a while! You could do this for a living."
"I considered it when I was much younger," Sophie said. She lifted a hand to smooth back a strand of hair from her face. Only now did Del notice the wiry strength in the slender arm.
"What happened?" Del asked, very interested in hearing more about Sophie and what had made her the woman she was today.
Sophie waved dismissively. "Oh, my parents didn't think it was a suitable profession for a young woman of my standing."
Del sighed. So history repeats itself. Doesn't she realize that she's doing to Kade and her brother what her parents were doing to her? She's trapping them with her expectations. Why is it so hard to just accept the choices your children make?
"What is it?" Sophie asked at the sigh.
"Uh..." Del hesitated only for a second. Maybe it was time someone talked to Sophie about this. "I was just thinking about parents and the unrealistic expectations they have of their children."
Sophie shook her head. "Actually, I now believe my parents were right. Back then, I was just too young to see it. Always practicing, playing, or traveling – that's no life."
Oh, yeah. But sitting at home, waiting for your husband to come home from the office or one of his mistresses, living up to the expectations of high society, and becoming so closed off from your own emotions that you can't even relate to your own child, that's a life? Del shook her head. She didn't think it wise to discuss this any further because it would inevitably lead to a discussion of her own parents and their expectations, which would lead to her coming out to Sophie. Kade's mother would start questioning her relationship with Kade, and Del didn't want that. More importantly, she knew Kade didn't want that.
Del stood with a groan. "I think I'll head back inside. You still look fresh as a daisy, but I need a shower," she said, bowing playfully to her victorious opponent.
Sophie gave her a smile that held a little more warmth than before. "Well, we Mathesons are not allowed to have perspiratory glands," she said with a straight face.
Del stopped and stared down at her, totally baffled by the unexpected comment. Who knew... Sophie Matheson actually has a sense of humor!
* * *
Kade impatiently drummed her fingers on the side of her laptop. She was nearly caught up with all the work she had brought with her. Her mother and Del still hadn't returned. What is taking them so long? Mother should have thoroughly beaten her by now. She closed her laptop with a snap and stood.
Just then, the patio doors slid open, and Del stepped outside. Her hair was damp and disheveled, and her sweat-soaked T-shirt clung to her torso, making Kade take a second look.
"Hey." Kade cleared her throat and forced herself to look away from Del's athletic body. "How was the tennis match?"
Del folded strong arms over her chest. "Humiliating," she answered dryly. "Your mother is one hell of a tennis player. I thought you said playing with her wasn't a challenge anymore?"
"I said there's no challenge anymore," Kade corrected with a sly grin. "There isn't – for my mother. So you lost, huh?"
Del nodded. "Like you knew I would."
"No kiss for you, then," Kade said with mock regret.
Del sauntered up to her.
She was so close now that Kade could feel the war
mth of her overheated body and smell the musky odor of sweat. To her surprise, Kade found that it wasn't an unpleasant experience at all. It was different from the way men smelled, and Kade had never consciously realized that before.
"Not even a consolation peck?" Del pretended to pout.
"I don't do consolation pecks," Kade said. "When I kiss someone, I mean it."
Del stared at her, and Kade couldn't look away from the intense dark eyes. They seemed to draw her in.
"Nice match," Sophie said behind them. Neither Kade nor Del had heard the patio doors slide open.
