by Thea Chin
“Eighteen months already, huh?”
“Stop,” she urges him, knowing that he is doing mental subtraction at the moment.
Jaiden lets out a long breath. “Anyway, you should ask one of the guys to go with you. I’m sure they’ll be happy to.” Well, most of them anyway, he adds silently.
“I don’t want to bother them, especially if we might not get any answers out of it.”
That is true. Besides, most of them have accepted Tsukiko’s fate already. It is what the Council has said will happen, and it is what they trust is inevitable.
“By the way, why don’t you believe in what the Council says? You know, about there not being a cure. Everyone else doesn’t seem to hold any doubts,” she asks him.
“The Council? I don’t know. They support our businesses and make sure our secret community runs smoothly, but I just feel less connected with them ever since… the drowning.”
Tsukiko frowns when the last file in her stack proves to not be what she is looking for either. “Do you mind me asking why?”
“The soulmate division is a large sector in the Council; as a matter of fact, it is what this regime is built on, as you might remember from the Jacque Taylor story.”
He stops there and looks at her.
“I remember that,” she assures him.
He continues. “So after I, uh, lost mine, I fell out of touch with a large portion of the whole system. I’m also practically useless now without my soulmate. We have this motto, ‘for longevity,’ as citizens under the Council. It means that the common goal for all of us is the longevity of our species. Without my soulmate, well, you heard Chan’s biology spew about who’s able to carry werewolf fetuses.”
“What do they do to you then?”
“They might withdraw their support if I take over Han Hotels.”
“What if you do manage to produce another wolf though?”
“I’d have to find someone like Terena, which does not come by often. Or,” he pauses, holding her with his eyes, “someone else’s soulmate.”
“Point taken,” Tsukiko says, obliviously reclaiming some of the files Jaiden took earlier.
He sighs knowingly and goes back to work.
* * *
Blue lights. Tsukiko falls asleep staring at those words and the series of digits above it, but she did not expect them to infiltrate her dreams.
She sees herself setting a tray of blood vials on the workbench and sitting on the stool. That’s right! She was sitting when she fainted even though her reports say otherwise. How did she forget that twice? As the her of the past picks up each vial and inspects them, she walks over and looks at the tray.
After a few blood samples, the past her pulls out one that is filled with blue liquid rather than red blood. As she does so, a crippling pain shoots up Tsukiko’s wrist and into her head. She looks up and sees her other self doing the same thing. Though in pain, she picks up the vial of blue, but cannot read what is printed on the side. She squints, but everything is muddled.
“1204176,” her past self mumbles, and the numbers suddenly appear on the label.
Tsukiko sees her frantically calling for help on her tablet just before she falls off the stool. When her head meets the ground, the world goes black.
Her eyelids flutter open with a start and all she can see is blue. She stretches her hand out and it collides with a cold, dome-shaped structure. The past her is nowhere to be seen. Or is she her now? Tsukiko moves her hand around sluggishly. She seems to be submerged in a liquid and surrounded by light.
“Miss Tsukiko Tsujii?” she hears the all too familiar question.
“Yes,” she answers, but it isn’t her who speaks.
Dr. Lawrence? She tries to talk but cannot. Instead, she smells croissants in the air. She sits up, the dome disappearing as she does so, to find the source of the scent. She doesn’t but spots an exit sign in an empty blue room. She looks down and sees that she is sitting on top of one of Yellow Brick’s tables, the one with the butterfly on it. She looks back up and finds herself surrounded by the liquid again, only this time, it fills the entire room. The exit sign looks distorted as the currents blow by.
Suddenly, she can no longer breathe in the liquid. No, she can tell it’s water now, not just some unknown substance. In a panic, she swims towards the exit. As she attempts to do so, however, a figure bursts in from the door. It is wearing a doctor’s coat and gnashing long, sharp teeth at Tsukiko. It has its eyes trained on her as it swims at an incredible rate towards the girl.
Tsukiko flings her arms over her face, knowing there is no possible way to outswim this killer doctor. A glow illuminates across her vision as she does so, but it is not in the shape of Darren’s soulmark. She doesn’t have time to think about it any longer as the gnashing grows closer and louder until she feels teeth around her, piercing through her lungs.
Tsukiko lets out a shriek as she bolts upright in her bed. From a distance, she can hear a baby crying from being awakened by her exclamation. She buries her head in her hands as footsteps draw close to her room and her door opens.
“Tsukiko?” mumbles a tired voice.
“Hey, Darren. I’m sorry for waking you and Angela,” she sighs without looking up.
Darren walks over with his child slowly falling back asleep in his arms. “It’s alright. I’m used to waking up at this hour to change her anyway.”
He takes a seat beside Tsukiko, and she takes Angela into her arms, stroking the child with shaking hands.
“You alright?” Darren asks.
“Just nightmares…”
The male raises a hand, wanting to rub her back in turn, but decides against it and sets it back down. “If there’s anything you need—anything at all—don’t hesitate to come find me.”
Tsukiko nods mindlessly and shifts her gaze down to her wrist. The familiar soft glow of being near Darren quiets down her racing heart and slows down her rapid breathing. It’s incredible, she thinks, how nature chose her of all people to tattoo and him to come running every time she is in danger. On top of it all, they met and she fell into infatuation with him almost immediately. If things were any different, she’d think it’s almost all too convenient.
* * *
As suggested, Tsukiko makes her way to Yellow Brick the next day. It is a Saturday, so the place is void of its usual cranky businessmen.
“Hi, Tsukiko!” Irene greets from the counter. “Welcome to Yellow Brick. What can I get for you?”
“Is your mother here?”
“She’s in the back. Why?”
“Do you think she’d mind if I asked her a few questions?” Tsukiko asks.
“Not at all,” Irene says, confused.
She opens the swing gate for Tsukiko and walks her to the kitchen.
“Mom, someone’s here to talk to you!” she calls while pushing aside some curtains.
Inside, a woman looks up from wrapping slices of fresh cheesecake in plastic liners. “T-Tsukiko Tsujii,” she recognizes as they step into the room.
“I’ll leave you to it,” Irene bids and disappears back to the front.
“Hello, Ms. Silva. How are you?” Tsukiko greets.
She just nods. “And you?”
“I am well. I was just wondering if I can ask you a few things about…” Tsukiko pulls up her sleeve to show her.
Irene’s mother turns away at the sight. “No. Not about that. Anything but that.”
Tsukiko figures as much as she rolls her sleeve back down. “Alright. Then can you tell me something about Darren Dust?”
Ms. Silva drops her head and leans on two clenched fists on the counter. After a while, she finally says in a tiny voice, “Who are you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you with them? The Council? Or maybe with Destiny?”
“No, I’m just his soulmate.”
A spark of interest flashes across her eyes. “His soulmate?” She walks over and inspects Tsukiko. When she is satisfied with what
she sees, she turns her back to her again. “T-take care of him, okay?”
“Actually, that’s why I’m here. I can’t. At least, not for much longer.”
“What do you mean?” Ms. Silva inquires, facing her again.
“He… he has had a child. A wolf. With someone else,” Tsukiko admits.
The color drains from the older woman’s face when she heard Tsukiko. “Him too?” she breathes airily.
“Do you find this story familiar?” Tsukiko asks carefully.
“N-no,” she lies but is unable to keep the tears from streaming down her face. She staggers a few steps back, trying to fight it with vain effort.
Tsukiko quickly pulls out a tissue and helps wipe her cheeks while rubbing gentle circles on the back of the older woman’s hand with her thumb.
“It’s okay. It’s okay,” she whispers.
“No, it’s not,” Ms. Silvia cracks. “I killed her, don’t you see? She’s dead because of me and what I did with her husband. And now my son… To you…”
“It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know,” Tsukiko hopes. “But you can still do something about Darren’s situation.”
She sniffs.
“Is there anything at all you know about what happened to Mrs. Dust? I know that there was some research done to try to save her life. Do you know anything about those?”
“Just that they were all conducted by Destiny Enterprise’s laboratory division,” she croaks, cooperating now. “I heard that the results might have been burnt in President Dust’s anger when his soulmate passed along with other things though.”
“Other things?”
“Things like Irene’s real birth certificate and articles that mention my involvement with the company,” she answers.
Tsukiko bites her cheek, hoping for more. “Do you know any details about the research? Anything about how they even began finding clues about a cure?”
Ms. Silva shakes her head. “I’m sorry.”
Tsukiko gnaws on her lower lip. She is disappointed by the lack of information but also sympathetic with the pain she is putting Ms. Silva through by having her recall her past. “No, that’s alright. Thank you so much for your time, Ms. Silva.”
Before she can leave though, the woman calls out. “Tsukiko?”
“Yes, Ms. Silva?”
“Do you… do you hate her? The mother of Darren’s child, I mean.”
Tsukiko stops and thinks about this for a while. “No, I don’t think so,” she decides. “She isn’t the most savory person, but my soulmate loved her and she made him very happy. I think I can live knowing just that.”
Ms. Silva seems to relax because of her response. She twiddles with her fingers, letting Tsukiko’s words sink into her heart. At last, she lets out a content sigh and looks at Tsukiko. “And please don’t tell anyone about what I told you about my involvement with Destiny. President Dust… my Irene… he said if I contacted Darren, he’ll… he’ll…”
The girl nods in understanding.
“B-but maybe next time, i-if you could bring a picture of him…” she requests meekly.
Tsukiko smiles warmly and gives her a promising nod. “I will. Thank you so much for helping me, Ms. Silva.”
With that, she makes her way back to the storefront where Irene is.
“Thank you,” Tsukiko says as she steps out from behind the counter.
Irene shakes her head. “No, I should be thanking you. Mom has been struggling with her guilt for a very long time. I think what you said brought her some peace.”
“I just expressed what I thought.”
“Still.” Irene closes the top of a napkin dispenser after refilling it. “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”
“Actually, yes. May I have an order of cheesecake? To go.”
“I thought you preferred the muffins,” Irene recalls as she constructs a paper box for her order.
“I do,” Tsukiko confirms. “But it seems like a day for gratitude and expressing it before it’s too late, and there is someone I’d like to thank.”
Irene nods with a smile. “I know what you mean.”
“Ah, are we thinking about Chan?” Tsukiko wiggles her brow.
Irene blushes scarlet.
“What happened after graduation, by the way? You two disappeared after the group photos.”
“He, um, he confessed. It was really, really cute. He gave me the flowers and serenaded me with a song that he wrote himself.”
“Oooh,” giggles Tsukiko. “And did you accept it?”
Irene lets out a sigh. “Unfortunately, I couldn’t. My mom had a really bad history with his kind, and I just can’t hurt her by accepting.”
“I’m sorry…” Tsukiko frowns for bringing it up.
“No, don’t worry. He still cares a lot about me, and I about him, and he says that’s enough for him until I’m ready for the next step.”
“Wow,” she says, impressed. “Who knew he could be so sweet! He was so hesitant to meet you at first too.”
“Oh, that’s because he felt bad about his whole meeting with the Council thing. Not that he needed to though, seeing how I can’t remember a thing from that night.”
“What do you mean the Council thing?”
“You know, when he got summoned by the Council ‘cause the frat got into some kind of trouble, and I thought a stray cat scratched me up when really it was them using me to punish him?”
Tsukiko’s eyebrows press into each other. “No?”
“He didn’t tell you?” Irene clamps a hand over her mouth. “Maybe I shouldn’t have either then.”
“I can’t believe they did that to you though,” Tsukiko frowns.
“Well, I can’t remember a thing, and I walked out of St. Valentine’s with nothing more than a few scratches, so I’m alright. I feel worse for him and how much his soulmark must have burned.”
“You forgot everything?”
“Basically. Sometimes, I get a feeling, but my head starts hurting whenever I try to think about it.”
Tsukiko stares at her, mouth slightly agape.
“D-did I say something wrong again?” Irene questions.
The other girl snaps her jaw close and quickly shakes her head. “No. I’m just wondering if you got a head scan while you were there.”
“I did since one of the scratches was on my head. They wanted to make sure that nothing cerebral was injured. It was free, so I thought ‘why not?’”
“What was it like?”
“I think I fell asleep halfway through—I was helping my mom set up the cafe all day before I went in, so I was tired—but there were a lot of blue lights in the room.” She draws in a sharp breath and rubs her temples. “Sorry, Tsukiko. My head’s hurting again. Here’s your cheesecake. I think I’m going to make myself some espresso real quick.”
“Thanks,” she says, finishing the transaction for the dessert. “And thanks for chatting with me too. Maybe I’ll see you around the frat house more often?”
Irene laughs. “Probably.”
Tsukiko walks out of the cafe with her purchase as the bells at the door jingle. Blue lights. That’s the last thing Jaiden remembered too. And her dream from last night— she saw an abundance of that color in there as well.
A familiar ache pulses in her head, making her reach for her pills. She stops before taking one though; she still has to go to Destiny, meaning there is about an hour or two before she arrives home, so she cannot afford to doze off in the meantime.
Blue. Slowly, she begins to visualize the blue scanning room herself. There was Dr. Lawrence and the radiologist every time… She digs a little deeper into her memories… There was a glass machine in the center of the room with blue vertical lights lining the walls, and she laid down on the machine, and—
“Agh!” she hisses at the pain. She drops to a crouch, burying her head in her hands before slowly standing up again as the world spins.
She shakes her head to clear it. She’ll just have to work
with what doesn’t hurt her for now. Blue. Jaiden and Irene said they saw it, and they both forgot something that isn’t easily forgettable. Headaches. All three of them get them when they try to remember what they had forgotten. Could it all be a coincidence?
She is forced to concentrate on something else when she arrives at Destiny. She greets the front desk ladies who give her a box for her belongings. She rides the elevator up to the business management floor, walks over to her desk, and looks upon it nostalgically. Eighteen months it has been. Now that she thinks about it, she has basically worked here for as long as she can remember, literally. Well, if things go well with her application, she’ll hopefully be back in this building again within the next few months.
Tsukiko holds on to that hope as she lines the box with stationeries and folders. A particular red folder catches her eye, so she picks it up and opens it to scan its contents.
“I don’t think this is mine…” she says aloud, flipping through the pages.
From the looks of it, it seems to be a financial report. Whose could it be though? She keeps looking for more clues. There are credit card bills with mostly dining expenses of extravagant amounts and bank statements with the credit card charges listed along with a few other expenditures such as new luxury cars and a monthly payment to a country club.
This account is undoubtedly a company one from the name it is under and belongs to an extremely high ranking member. But whom?
One particular monthly deduction from the account catches her eye. It is an automated wiring to an account under the name “SILVA.” Irene’s family? Is this account President Dust’s then? It doesn’t surprise Tsukiko that he is paying her to keep away from Darren as Ms. Silva had mentioned; no business figure wants his heir to be known as an illegitimate child.
If this is so, then who placed the file on her desk? Surely, it could not have been accidental, judging by the sheer size of the folder. Who even has access to what she is certain is classified information? Tsukiko cannot wrap her head around it as she continues shuffling through months of statements.
She reaches a point where another monthly transaction piques her attention. Rather than a deduction from the account, however, it is a significant deposit instead. “THE COUNCIL,” the sender reads. Every statement reports this particular fund until nearly two decades ago. Looking at the date, Tsukiko confirms her suspicion that the last transfer is on the month of Darren’s forty-second moon.
