Midwife's Baby Wish

by Gill Sanderson

  They had a good run across the lake, then Lyn headed for a quieter spot, made Adam take the helm and gave him a lesson. She was enjoying herself, it did her good to have to teach things. And he was a quick study. He had naturally sensitive hands, could respond to the wind and the feel of the tiller. She knew those hands. So sensitive, so gentle and yet so certain …

  ‘Now who’s not concentrating?’ came his cheerful shout.

  They enjoyed themselves. She lost herself in just being with him, in the sun, on the water, doing something together that was fun. For a moment there was no need to worry about the future. She was together with a man whom she … very much liked..

  Eventually, when it was late afternoon, they sailed back to the club and he helped her take down the mast and haul the dinghy onto its trailer.

  ‘Do you have to go back?’ he asked. ‘I’ve got the cruiser tied up at the jetty. You could join me for a meal if you wished.’

  He didn’t push her, she noticed. It was a gentle, friendly invitation. So she accepted. Whatever the consequences, she would take them. ‘I’d like a meal on board,’ she said. ‘And could we go for another cruise?’

  She remembered there was a shower on board, so she showered and changed into the trousers, blouse and sweater she had been wearing earlier. Then they cast off, and the cruiser set out onto the lake. By now it was dusk. The distant peaks were just a dark edge against the red evening sky and lights were appearing on the banks, like decorations on a Christmas tree. It was beautiful.

  After her day on the water she was tired, it was good to sit beside Adam in the cockpit and relax.

  ‘No commitments at all tonight?’ he asked softly. ‘No time you have to be back by?’

  Lyn hesitated before answering. This was a way out, an excuse. But she replied, ‘I’m not needed at home till Monday morning.’ She had said it now. The die was cast.

  But all he said was, ‘I’ve got supplies for as long as we need them. Whatever happens, we won’t starve.’

  So they made their slow way down the lake. She moved to sit next to him, and he steered with one hand, putting the other arm round her shoulders. They watched the passing shoreline, feeling there was no need to talk.

  It became cool on the water. Lyn shivered and he pulled off his coat and draped it round her shoulders. ‘No need, I’ll fetch my jacket,’ she said.

  ‘Stay where you are. I like you next to me.’ So she stayed. She liked the feel, the smell of his coat. It was him.

  Suddenly it grew much colder, and she felt the wind shake the boat. ‘Every time we go out,’ he said, ‘there’s a storm. D’you think Mother Nature is telling us something?’

  ‘She’s telling me to keep warm,’ said Lyn. ‘Thanks for the coat but I need my sweater now.’

  ‘Perhaps it’s time we had our meal. Now, there’ a place near here where there’s a mooring we can use. Want to grab that boat hook and pick it up? Look, it’s that yellow float.’

  So she picked up on the boat hook and, as Adam slowed the cruiser, deftly pulled it aboard. She had done this kind of thing before and it was the work of only a minute to fasten the cruiser to the mooring chain. Then she dropped back into the cockpit.

  He had seen her obvious expertise and had shut down the engine and moved forward into the little galley to start work. She offered to set the table, and within ten minutes their meal was ready. She guessed he must have done most of the preparation before, probably at home. There was a rocket salad with Gorgonzola, hot bacon strips and tiny pieces of avocado, then saffron rice with a creamy chicken sauce. And finally, two wonderfully sticky rum babas.

  ‘I cheated with the pudding,’ he confessed with a grin. ‘I’ve never been too good on sweet stuff, so I bought these early this morning.’

  ‘I’ll teach you how to bake cakes,’ Lyn said, licking her fingers. ‘Though these are wonderful.’

  With the meal they had a bottle of chilled white wine, and when they had finished, they took their glasses out into the cockpit again. It was dark now, but by some unspoken agreement they decided not to turn on the cockpit light.

  It had stopped raining, but the wind was high and the cruiser rocked. Lightning flashed and forked its way overhead. For a moment the lake, the wooded banks, the other moored boats were outlined in black and bleached white. Then there was complete darkness again, and the crack and rolling of thunder. And still it didn’t rain.

  ‘I think we’re going to have a dry storm,’ she said after a while. ‘It happens sometimes. And it’s a pity, because we need the rain.’

  ‘We must enjoy what we are given,’ Adam said. ‘I’m enjoying this.’

  She wondered if he was talking about the storm or something else, but decided not to question him.

  He put his arm round her. She moved closer to him and his body warmed her. The lightning show continued and they saw it strike one of the peaks by the lake. Then slowly it passed, moving down the valley.

  ‘That was so exciting,’ she breathed. ‘My heart’s beating faster, I feel as if things are different now.’

  ‘Things are different? I feel just the same. That is, I feel just the same about you.’

  He put down his glass on the table, she heard its tiny ting. Then he reached for her, took her to him and kissed her. She knew this was what she wanted! Her arms went round him and she kissed him back, aware of his growing need for her.

  She had slipped her hand under his shirt. Now she tugged at it, pulling it upwards. Her fingertips traced the twin columns of muscle down his spine, her thumb reached into the warmth under his arm. But she couldn’t touch him with her other hand. With a little sigh of annoyance she released him, took his shirt in her two hands, pulled it over his head and threw it to one side.

  She could see the whiteness of his body, but couldn’t see his expression. She laid her hands flat on his chest, stroked him and felt his warmth, the silkiness of the hair on his chest. When her hands grazed his nipples she heard him sigh, felt him flinch.

  ‘And you’re supposed to be a big strong man,’ she whispered playfully.

  ‘I am a big strong man. But it seems that you can do anything to me. Now I want to see how you react when I touch you.’

  Her shirt buttoned all the way down her front. He started at the top, and with maddening patience undid the buttons one by one. Then, still slowly, he took the blouse from her and threw it on top of his own.

  With his two hands he cupped her face, kissed her. And, still kissing her, he in turn let his finger tips roam down her neck, caress her shoulders and trace the line along the top of her lacy bra.

  ‘I’m a doctor,’ he breathed after a while. ‘There are things I shouldn’t notice.’

  ‘You’re not a doctor now, you’re a man. What shouldn’t you notice?’

  ‘When you fell into the water and I dragged you out and undressed you. I saw that you had a beautiful body. I also saw that you wore rather nice underwear.’

  Lyn giggled. ‘My one vice. Just ordinary clothes or my uniform for everyday. But I do like lacy things underneath.’ She paused a moment and then said reproachfully, ‘If you like my underwear, why are you taking off my bra?’

  He said nothing, but dropped the garment on top of her blouse. Then he bent his head to her naked breasts and she thrilled at the touch of his tongue.

  She couldn’t tell how much longer they remained in each other’s arms as the lightning slowly diminished and the thunder calmed to a distant mutter. Time had no meaning. They were both wrapped in the glorious present with no need to worry about the past or think about the future.

  But then Adam spoke. ‘Will you come with me, Lyn? Come to my cabin with me.’

  ‘Of course I will, sweetheart. I want to.’

  He took her hand and led her below. She remembered his cabin and thought she had never seen anything so appealing. There was his double bunk with the crisp white sheets, the brass portholes, the little shelf of books. The cabin was darker now, lit only by a bedside lamp that
cast shadows and made things seem more mysterious.

  For a while they stood by the bed, their arms round each other, content merely to press against each other. She felt calm and excited at the same time. She loved being here with him. And she wanted what she knew would happen next.

  Soon they were both naked. They lay on the bed together, clung to each other with a passion that led quickly to a frantic, groaning climax. She felt she was out of time, giving herself to this man entirely, offering him all of herself. And by giving, she was able to take, too. Never had she had a climax like this!

  But then it was over, and there was the equally wonderful drowsy calm. And time came back, she was in the real world again and responsible for her actions and aware of the future.

  ‘Lyn, Lyn,’ he muttered. ‘You know I’m …’

  She stopped his mouth with a kiss. ‘You’re getting very fond of me,’ she said. ‘And I’m very fond of you. No other words are needed. We’re fond of each other.’

  ‘But I feel it and I want to say it! I’ve never felt like this before and I…’

  ‘I’m a very demure lady, Adam. And for me love is a four-letter word. We don’t say it, we don’t think it. If you talk to me about love, then I must go.’

  She couldn’t bear to see the pain and puzzlement in his eyes, so she pulled him close to her, hung her neck over his shoulder and squeezed her own eyes tight shut, so there would be no tell-tale tears.

  It was so hard not to shout out the words that came unbidden to her lips. I love you, too. But she knew she had to keep silent.

  Four nights later Lyn was in her cottage when Jane called in, Helen by her side. When they were sitting down Helen proudly gave her an envelope.

  ‘It’s an invitation to a party,’ she said. ‘But there are no balloons on the envelope. I had balloons on my party envelopes for my last birthday. I was three.’

  Lyn opened the envelope and looked first with delight and then with dismay at the silver printed card inside. ‘Miss Jane Hall and Dr Calvin Mitchell are celebrating their engagement to be married and request the company of …’

  Jane had obviously been pleased at Lyn’s initial squeak of delight but was now puzzled by her frown. ‘Is there something wrong?’ she asked. ‘You can come, can’t you? I must have you there. I want you to come so much.’

  ‘Of course I can come, nothing would keep me away. But this invitation is to Adam and me. As a couple. We’re not a couple, Jane, we’re just good friends.’

  She knew she reddened slightly as she told this lie.

  Jane’s reply was robust. ‘Don’t be silly, Lyn. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and the way you look at him. You can’t hide anything from Auntie Jane. He’s besotted by you.’

  Lyn coloured even more. ‘I like him a lot, I really do. But nothing … will come of it. Nothing can come of it. He’s just not my type and …’

  ‘Lyn, you don’t get a second chance at a man like Adam! There aren’t many of them about. Grab him while you can, like I did with Cal.’

  Lyn shook her head in distress. ‘No, Jane, it just won’t work. He’s not for me. Take my word for it, I know.’

  Jane looked at her friend closely. ‘Whatever you say. I don’t think you’re telling me the whole story, but just so long as you know that if you want any advice, then I’m here for you. You know what I think – I think he’s marvellous. Now, do I have to go and write out two more invitations?’

  ‘No,’ Lyn said gloomily, ‘I’ll sort it out myself.’

  ‘It’s going to be a big get-together type of party,’ Jane said encouragingly. ‘Once you’re there you can talk to whoever, you want. We’re having a big marquee on the back lawn.’

  ‘Should be great,’ said Lyn.

  She heard Adam come in about an hour after Jane and Helen had left, and went straight next door to show him the invitation. Somehow he divined what she was thinking. ‘An invitation to both of us. Perhaps it’s because we live next door to each other.’

  ‘Or perhaps it’s because they think we’re a couple. Which we’re not.’

  ‘Whatever you say. Still, it sounds fantastic and I’m looking forward to it. I like the occasional big knees-up.’

  He smiled at her, and his obvious enthusiasm only made her feel more depressed. ‘What shall we get them for a present? Something for what used to be called the bottom drawer?’

  ‘I don’t think we should get a joint present,’ she said flatly. ‘I’ll help you pick something if you like but I want us to give presents separately. If we give something together, it will make people think and talk.’

  ‘Whatever you want.’

  He kept his bantering smile but his eyes told her that he was hurt by her decision. But it had to be. A joint present for an engagement party might give him ideas, as well as other people.

  The party was a week later. Lyn went to Cal’s house early to keep an eye on Helen while Jane supervised. Helen, of course, was madly excited and was already calculating the years before she too could get engaged. ‘I’ll be sixteen in thirteen years,’ she said. ‘And Uncle Cal said you can get married at sixteen.’

  ‘I’d wait a while if I were you,’ Lyn advised. ‘Would you have an engagement party exactly like this?’

  Helen considered. ‘I’d want more balloons,’ she said. ‘And I’d want them in different colours. But otherwise just the same.’

  It was going to be a wonderful party, not least because of the weather. It was still unseasonably warm and Lyn could hardly remember the last time it had rained.

  Jane had wondered if it all could be organised in time, but Cal knew everybody locally and had found the best team for everything. It seemed no time before the marquee was erected, the flooring down inside and the tables and chairs arranged. Then the caterers came with their portable kitchen, which was soon producing the most wonderful smells. Then the band arrived.

  Helen ran everywhere, checked everything, until finally Lyn managed to lure her indoors for a bath. ‘We can put your new party dress on,’ she said. ‘You want to look smart for everyone.’

  The party was to start at eight. Helen was bathed, dressed and sitting watching television when Lyn slipped into the bedroom she had borrowed and put on her own dress. Jane had pushed her into buying something new – indeed, had dragged her into Keldale and stood over her till she bought something.

  ‘I’m not dressing up for anyone special,’ she had protested to Jane. ‘Apart from you and Cal, of course.’

  ‘You always dress up for someone special,’ had been the sharp reply. ‘You dress up for yourself. And at my engagement party I want you looking good.’

  Perhaps it wasn’t the dress Lyn would have bought herself, but as she surveyed herself in the full-length mirror, she had to say that she looked good.

  It was dark red, in a very fine wool mix that clung to her. It was sleeveless, almost backless. Lyn had muttered that it was nearly frontless, too. It was slashed from the hem to her right thigh.

  ‘If you’ve got it, flaunt it,’ Jane had advised. ‘Only a woman with a figure like yours could get away with a dress like that.’

  ‘There doesn’t seem to be much dress for such a big price,’ Lyn had said. But both in the boutique and here, she knew it was the dress for her.

  Out of cowardice she took a white wrap with her, there might be circumstances when she’d feel more comfortable with it thrown round her shoulders. Then she went to collect Helen and take her to Jane and Cal. And ten minutes later she went to the party herself.

  Her feelings were mixed. She was happy for Jane and Cal, very much looking forward to meeting so many old friends and indeed, new ones. But she just didn’t know how she would deal with Adam.

  She had explained that she couldn’t arrive at the party with him as she was needed to look after Helen.

  ‘I’ll see you there, then,’ he had said, and she had left it at that.

  The guests were arriving promptly as this party wasn’t going to go on too late. Sh
e accepted a glass of champagne from a waiter and went forward to be formally greeted by Jane, Cal and a very formal Helen.

  ‘You’re already turning heads,’ Jane whispered. ‘That dress is really something.’

  ‘Just the thing for the district midwife,’ Lyn muttered back. ‘I feel like the district scarlet woman.’

  ‘A bit of scarlet behaviour wouldn’t hurt you. Or are there things you haven’t been telling me?’

  As Lyn reddened yet again, it struck her that she had blushed more in the past few weeks than she had in the previous five years. What was happening to her?

  ‘Could I interrupt this obviously ladies’ conversation?’ came Cal’s amiable voice. ‘There’s someone I’d like Lyn to meet. Lyn, this is Josh Harrison. He’s going to be one of our registrars and he’ll be joining us in a few weeks. Josh, this is Lyn, our midwife. Take it from me, she’s good.’

  They used to be called trainees, now they were called registrars. Newly qualified doctors who wanted to be GPs had to spend three years with a practice, learning the practical side of things. Cal was a known and respected trainer, and there were always plenty of applicants wanting to work with him.

  Lyn shook hands and thought she was going to like working with Josh. He was younger than her, of course, and he seemed very pleasant.

  ‘Jane and I have to carry on welcoming people,’ Cal went on. ‘Josh only found out today that he could make it here, so d’you think you could show him round, introduce him to everyone?’

  ‘Be pleased to,’ Lyn said. She was rather taken by the way Josh’s eyes had lit up when he’d seen her – or saw the dress. Normally she would have been pleased to show him round, but she’d rather have been with Adam. ‘Where are you from, Josh?’

  ‘Well, actually, I guess I’m a local.’

  After that it was easy. He had gone to a neighbouring school, they had friends and acquaintances in common, and as she introduced him to other members of the practice she knew he was going to fit in.