by Ethan Egorov
“Where?”
I wait until I have a clear view and show him.
He frowns and shakes his head at me.
“No way. Fuck off man. Seriously.”
I frown, “What? Is she already with someone?” Not like I had any ideas, but that reaction made me want to have them. I watch her talking with Kit, another guy on the exec board. She seems to be nicer to him than she was to me.
“No. That’s Tank’s daughter.”
2
Jeannine
“Do you have to do that every time?” I look at my mom with a deep scowl, she just stares back at me with her passive aggressive smile. The same one she used on Dad, except nicer.
“I just want to make sure that you know. You don’t always have to go. And maybe if you stayed here, you could help—”
“Mom, I do not want to work at your bakery. Ever. And I like seeing Dad, you can’t keep me from him.”
“But that place…” she trails off and worry mars her features. She leans against the hood of my car and scratches at her head, over her curly hair that matches mine. Mom was from somewhere in Europe, her parents or grandparents, but she refused to agree with that. All we know is that we have curly hair and naturally tanned skin, imagine how much fun I had in high school.
“I know Mom, it’s not like I am going to become a criminal. I have been going there for years.” I grab her hands and smile at her.
She hates the fact that Dad is in an MC. It was why they seperated but haven’t divorced. We live thousands of miles away now, since I was twelve when we moved. I go visit him over the summer when I am not in school, but Mom is mad that I am spending more time there since I graduated high school and could stay longer. I took a gap year to figure out what I wanted to do, now I’m twenty and no closer, but I am still going to college in the fall to decide in a controlled environment. Right now though, I’m going to visit my dad like I always do.
“But now you are older. More susceptible to their… shenanigans.”
I laugh at her. “Mom, wouldn’t that be when I am younger, and not older?” I give her a funny look. She stares back at me with her green eyes that match mine, flooding with concern.
“I don’t know. Plus I don’t trust his henchmen either. You know how boys are.” She wags her finger at me for good measure and I just laugh more.
“I know how boys are. They don’t like me, remember?” I remind her I haven’t once brought a boy home, rather sadly, but she just gives me the same look.
“Jeannine don’t be crass. Just… be careful.”
“I always am.” I take my keys from her and open the driver door. The drive isn’t that long, only four hours, and I usually make it in one trip. I decided to leave early in the morning so I could spend half a day changing my room there. Dad kept my room the same way it was, like I was still twelve. I humored him for a long time, but not anymore.
“Call when you get there.” She hugs me.
I pull back and look at her. “You know, you could come too, Mom. Fly out in a couple days, Mark is perfectly capable of keeping the bakery running.” I tell her.
Her eyes glaze over in that way they always do when I mention Dad over the years. I didn’t understand why they couldn’t make it work. Mom obviously still loved him, she kept his pictures and they are still married. But I learned a long time ago it didn’t do any good to try and figure them out.
“I… you know I can’t leave my cakes. I’ll see you soon, okay? Call as much as you want.” Her voice cracks like she is about to cry and I roll my eyes at her. I have got to get out of here before she convinces me to stay.
“Bye Mom, I love you.” I hug her tightly.
“I love you too. Tell your Dad I said hello.” She adds, like she has to.
I nod and get in the car to drive off.
I pulled into town four hours later, stopping for gas at the convenience store. This town was so small, the clerk knew who I was. An older guy, I saw him any time I came into town, he always asked about my mom, but he knew how my dad was doing. People in town really respect him, or fear him, I have yet to figure out the difference.
After grabbing a slushy, I called my dad and told him I was on my way to the house, so he would be ready for me. It was a quick drive there from the gas station, pulling up to the cottage style house brought back a lot of memories. I grew up here, when my parents were still together. I learned how to ride a bike on this street, Mom had a coronary when she saw Dad letting me drive his motorcycle, he was on the back of course but still. My last memory was seventh grade, the father daughter dance. After that they had a big fight, I wasn’t part of it, but next thing I knew we were skipping town and I only came back on the summers.
I slung my duffel bag over my shoulder, grabbed my purse to grab my keys and let myself in.
Dad’s bike was in the driveway so I knew he was here.
“Dad?” I called out, shutting the door behind me.
It smelled like him in here, old man cologne and day-old food.
The living room couch was still the old, off white color, matching the drapes and white kitchen cabinets. This place was all Mom’s design, and I had no idea why he didn’t change it.
“Hello?” I kept walking over to the stair case, in front of the back door and deck area. His bedroom was on the first level. I figured he was maybe asleep or something and went upstairs.
My room was as I left it; pink comforter and curtains, a Disney rug on the floor. I had a window nook, with mini pink pillows on it. I was that kid that loved pink, now I can’t stand to look at it.
As I promised myself, I took out everything and replaced it, making two trips to the basement until I finished. All the while, Dad still hadn’t appeared. It wasn’t until I showered and got changed that I found him in the backyard.
“Dad? Have you been here for the whole time?” I smiled when I saw him.
He was out back in his little shed, where he worked on his bike and stuff. He was looking at an engine part or something though, I grew up knowing what that was.
“Yeah, I didn’t know you came in, my phone was off.” He stood up and wiped his hands on a rag. Dad was a big guy, it’s why the guys at his club called him Tank. I used to do it too when I was growing up, but Mom didn’t like it, and so I stopped.
He smiled under his half-grayed beard, he still looked rather youthful, his gray eyes shining and hair full and grayed.
“That’s okay. How are you?” He hugs me tight and I hug him back, a little suffocated but I’m used to that.
“Good as I can be. The drive was okay?”
I nod, “it always is.” I drop my hands.
He nods and sits back at his work table, eyeing the engine part.
“What are you doing?” I sit on the other side.
He sighs, “Oh nothing, just keeping my mind busy. How is your mom?” He asks sullenly.
I realize that’s what he is keeping busy from.
“She’s good. She is talking about expanding her bakery but just trying to save up. She still wants me to work there but I don’t know yet.” I half laugh.
“You might be good at it. Customer service is one of your qualities.”
I giggle, “I’m just good at pretending. How is the club?” I ask him the same questions I always to when I get home.
“Good. We got a new prospect the guys love hazing.” He chuckles.
“Hm. Nice.” I grin.
“I forgot to cook you something nice, but I have to go to the club tonight.”
“I figured you did. I can order in, the drive has me kind of tired so—”
“Well I hoped you would come. All the guys really missed you, they ask about you.” He says, and I know he means the ones as old as him.
Men my age don’t ask about me, I know that much.
“Oh.” I know who he means, Jack and Al are his buddies that are his age, the others are like cool nephews or young sons or something. I don’t understand their bond, but I know that it’s the
re.
“Come on, I’ll even let you have beer—”
I perk up.
“One beer.” He corrects with a stern look.
I laugh and agree. “Okay, fine. But tomorrow you cook your daughter dinner.”
Dad made me change my shirt, which was a tight crop top before, to something more suitable. It wasn’t that he controlled what I wore, but more so that he knew some guys that hung out at the bar weren’t that great. He had good men in the club, but the ones who weren’t, he couldn’t control. The bar was like the town’s hangout spot. People who wanted some danger and excitement, wanted to be part of the club, who thought it was cool or whatever—they flocked there. When I was younger, he only let me come in the day time. I guess now it doesn’t matter much, I was raised well after all.
“You want me to drive the truck or you wanna get on the bike?” Dad grins, we walk out into the garage and onto the driveway.
“I guess the bike. Might as well come back for real.” I smile. I like the bike, Mom hates when I ride on it, but she, in so many words told me that was what attracted her to Dad in the first place and that’s usually when I stopped listening. But for me, it was how Dad and I bonded. I’m the only thing in the world he loves more than his bikes and the club.
“Right on, helmet of course.” He grabs it from the hook on the wall and I groan, it’s still my pink motorcycle helmet I’ve always had. Somehow, I forget it each time.
“Dad, I have got to get a new helmet.” I strap it on and climb on after him, he revs the engine and even does the swirly thing I liked as a kid—well I still like it. I laugh all the way to the club, realizing how much I miss my dad.
The parking lot is full, chrome on bikes glint in the darkness and people are milling about. I can hear the music inside pumping from here, it’s crazy.
I walk in with Dad, and I see some familiar faces as they wave to me. Only Jack and Al actually greet dad though and hug me. Al is tall and wide like Dad is, his dark hair is long and so is his beard. He looks scary, but he is just a teddy bear, I would know since that’s all he would get me for my birthday. Jack is a little leaner, has a bald head and clean-shaven face, tattoos up to his neck. He actually is scary, but not to me.
Dad has a lot of tattoos too, but none of them are visible under his clothes.
“I got you a graduation present too.” Jack half hugs me and I laugh at him.
“That was like six months ago.”
“Well you didn’t come down, you know I can’t leave the state.” His voice is rough, from smoking cigarettes all the time. When he had a cancer scare a few years ago he dialed it back though, chews on gum all the time to help.
“Yeah, yeah.” I wave at Dad, still talking to Al.
Jack shows me to one of the back rooms and shows me my gift, which is a leather jacket just like the guys at the club wear, except it was all girled up with rhinestones on the back around the logo.
“I love it, thank you.” I hug him and then he has to leave, something about pool, I wasn’t really listening.
I set the jacket down in Dad’s office and look around. I spent a lot of time here, when I was younger. Under the desk mostly, because I was always sneaking in.
He has this photo of the three of us together on his desk, we were at the beach one of the few times we went on vacation, and I’m at least eight in the picture. It makes me sad to see it. They both hold onto each other but can’t make it work, I don’t understand.
I figure I should take Dad up on that offer for a beer, and head out. I go down the back hall so I don’t run into anyone else. People see me around and they kind of treat me like an outcast, because they’re afraid of my dad. I was never Jeannine around here. Just Tank’s daughter, or even worse, the president’s daughter.
A noise in the supply closet made me pay attention. The door was half open, and a guy I didn’t recognize was in there. I knew everyone in the club, really. This young guy with only half a tattoo sleeve and shaggy hair wasn’t one of them.
“Are you stealing?” I frown, hardening my voice.
He stands up, almost hitting his head from shock. He turns, and I get side tracked from… him.
He’s tall, his shoulders are wide and broad and his brown hair is light, long enough to go past his ear. The space around his eyes are soft, as are his brows, and they’re light. I can’t really tell under the dim light of the closet, but they are distracting. Most of him is distracting. He has the rugged school boy thing down, he must be no younger than me.
Dad mentioned a new prospect and this must be him, because I haven’t ever seen him around. I was just here last year. I swallow back my nerves and try to stand my ground, he narrows his eyes at me and licks his lips.
“Uh, no?” his voice is deeper than I thought it would be, it hits my skin like a wave. It rolls down over me and I wish I never said anything at all.
I cross my arms and stare back at him. I kind of wished I changed into something else, after the second outfit Dad didn’t want to argue with me. But it’s the kind of shirt that moves when I do, and I feel my naval exposed when I do. His eyes drift there, and I knew Dad was right, but that’s not what gets me. It’s the fact that they drifted at all. Boys don’t look at me at all—well men don’t. But this one has barely looked at my face in the time I have been standing here.
Plus, he’s very hot—in like a cute way. I shake my head and try not to say something I shouldn’t.
“I work here. If that’s any of your business.” He chuckles, the sound echoes off the small space.
I shift on my feet, the doc martens I am wearing squeak in the silence. The rest of the club is cordoned off, so the music is mute to us here.
“It is,” I swallow when he moves and walks closer, not a lot, just enough that I have time to let my nerves find my voice.
I take him in again, from head to toe and back again.
When I reach his eyes, I hope he hadn’t noticed, but he has this small smirk that tells me he might have. He has that natural, permanent smile thing going on though.
“Well I’ve never seen you around here before.” He adds.
I find my voice again. I shrug my shoulders and tighten my fists. It helps with the urge to touch him. I’ve never had that before—the urge to reach out and touch someone, just to see what it is like.
But he is doing that, this stranger. He looks at me again, and I wonder if he feels the same way. The sound of the door shutting makes me blink in surprise and then focus back on him.
“I haven’t seen you around here either.” I raise my brow and purse my lips at him. It gives me the illusion that I have control over this, but I know that I don’t.
“Well, I guess it goes both ways then. I gotta get back to work.” He smirks at me, sending a chill up my back, and then heads off to the rest of the club.
I stare after him in a bit of shock, I mean, it seems weird that even just happened. But it did.
Now I want to figure out who he is without drawing attention to it, that wouldn’t be good for anyone. I should just keep my head down and enjoy my time visiting Dad. But when I go out into the club, I am already looking for him.
This is going to be bad.
3
Sparrow
“I didn’t know he had a daughter.” I lie. I heard of the elusive daughter, that no one was allowed to talk to, that guys had lost their heads over. Or close to it.
“Well, he does. And she is off limits.” Logan laughs at me.
“Yeah, I get it. Just wondering.” I only just joined the club, I don’t need some drama over a chick getting me kicked out. I don’t have kids, but I know Tank and he is protective over the guys at the club. I can’t imagine what he would be like over his actual daughter.
“Yeah well, I’m glad I warned you.”
We keep tending bar to new guys coming in. There is a rush, then it dies back down.
People are playing pool and darts, and I’m still watching Tank’s daughter out of the corner of my
eye when I think no one is watching. She’s talking to some of the older guys, Tank appears and I get a strike of fear in me when he does. Now I know why her little scowl looked so familiar.
The bar area clears out and I start cleaning up, picking up stray cash and such. I have to restock beers and liquor bottles, make sure nothing is out of place. I’m good at this stuff because it’s simple, fool proof work is my kind of thing. Roland keeps mentioning club business to me, as if I am going to get involved in actual complicated, half illegal shit. No thanks. I’ll take my easy ride back to a normal life as long as I can.
“There’s some stray beer bottles by the pool table. I gotta get out of here.” Logan says.
I nod, “Yeah no problem. See ya.” We shake goodbye and then he’s off.
I usually get left behind to do the rest of the work. Rookie type stuff, but I don’t mind. Roland is somewhere in here, I don’t know where. I head off to start cleaning, a girl’s laughter catches my attention. I turn to see her again, talking to Jack. He leaves and then it’s just her at the end of the bar, some guys by the darts on the other end, and me. I have no idea where everyone else is, but I’m not going to figure it out.
I’m bent over the pool table, picking up beer bottles, when I’m surprised and almost hit my head again.
“So you do work here?”
I carefully stand and turn.
“Yeah, I do.” I toss the bottles in the garbage, glancing over her.
She has this way about her, I can’t place it yet. But she is cute; the long curly hair and smooth, tanned skin does it. Full lips and a small round face, too; she has a nice body, but I really shouldn’t get into that.
“Word has it you’re pretty important around here.” I grin, combing my hair back with my hand.
“Oh…” she frowns a bit, and if she looked nervous before she definitely looks it now. It makes sense then, why she seemed glad that I hadn’t known her.
“Forget I said anything.” I hold up my hands in defense. I walk closer, she inhales and her throat tightens, but I stop at the end of the pool table and lean against it.
