by Ethan Egorov
He laughs, “Not helping.” He adjusts himself in the seat and I blush from just that. “Is that when you…”
I laugh, “God no. I was at a soccer meet. An away game. The other team had a really… nice equipment manager.” I laugh to myself, remembering the nice enough guy that went to a high school far enough away I would never see him again. I think I just wanted to get it over with, so I could say that I did. Not my brightest moment.
“Hm, I never would have guessed.”
“What did you think?” I laugh.
He smiles, “I don’t know. I mean I thought… your dad is kind of over protective.”
I nod, “Yep. But not when I’m with my mom. I told her all about it, she took me to get birth control. She’s that kind of mom.”
He chuckles.
“What about you? I told you mine.” I nudge his knee.
He shakes his head and laughs. “I was fifteen or sixteen I don’t really remember. Some other girl in the foster house we were in.”
I give him a funny look, “She was older, wasn’t she?”
“By like a year,” he defends.
We laugh together and change the conversation, swiftly.
“Why did you ask about my dad like that?” I wonder aloud.
He shrugs, “I just thought it was weird how you were afraid to tell him we were leaving together.”
“He just… he’s over protective. But he also only has one kid. Years ago my mom took me away and he thinks he chose the club over me, it would be worse if I was with someone at the club. He wouldn’t forgive them for it.”
“Gee thanks…”
I grip his arm, “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant it might show him what he did. But we should… never mind.”
“What?”
I shake my head, I don’t know if I can really get into it right now because I only thought about it once and I wasn’t ready to be that girl. I overthink, and I don’t want to run him away by thinking too far into the future, it wouldn’t be fair to him.
We are just starting out and I don’t even know what we are. We haven’t gone on a date yet anyway. But I did think about it.
He nudges me, and I remember he asked me.
I turn to look at him and sigh. “Don’t think I’m crazy—”
“Impossible.” He makes the scouts honor sign and I giggle.
“I’m leaving for college in the fall. If I ever told him it would only be if… we were… worth mentioning.” I clear my throat and wait for his response.
He ends up laughing and nodding instead. “I get it.” he says, and that’s it.
I twist my lips and stare off in front of me, into the dark shop with all the lights off. A rather suggestive song comes on and I change the station, a sad one plays.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to—” he cuts me off.
“It’s fine, angel. It’s a tough sit,” he sighs.
“Yeah.” I swallow hard and wish I didn’t do the whole clingy thing in the first place.
“Jeannine, look at me.” he says.
I fight past my pattering heart beat and look at him. his eyes ground me, so easily, and I wish that they didn’t, but I’m not complaining right now.
“I think it’s cute that you ramble and over think things. And when I think about you… I think farther ahead that just the summer. Just so you know.”
I beam, smiling like a kid on Christmas. He smiles back and kisses me quickly, his lips swaying against mine.
“I should go, it’s late.” He groans under his breath, and I’m half glad he is sad to be leaving.
“Yeah. It’s late.” I actually start the engine and give him another long look.
“I’ll call you tomorrow, discuss our date.” He cups my cheek and tucks hair behind my ear before getting out of the car.
He waits until I drive off, and I take deep breaths all the way home. He got me all hot and bothered and now I have to just go home alone. My dad isn’t there when I arrive, but I call and tell him that I made it, hoping he doesn’t notice a difference in my voice. He must be busy, because he doesn’t.
I strip and get in the shower, really fighting my instincts, but god… Spencer is under my skin, right where I feel him the most. I soap myself down and slide my fingers between my legs, stroking until I fall over the edge. It doesn’t feel nearly as good as I think it will, with Spencer, but it scratches the itch well enough.
I wear my big tee shirt to bed, smiling against the pillow thinking of Spencer until I fall asleep. I can’t believe he said he thinks far past the summer, that he feels the same way about me. I don’t want to upset my dad, and I don’t want to drive a wedge between us. But I don’t want to miss out on something real just because of him…
And I know that I have to try not to.
10
Jeannine
“Jeannie, come eat breakfast.”
I rolled over in bed and groaned, stuffing the pillow over my head like it would help. Dad was yelling up the steps when all I want to do is sleep. I shouldn’t have come back so late last night, but I know I wouldn’t have left Spencer just for the sake of not being tired. I hate how I am thinking of him as soon as I wake up, but I am. I’m far gone—
“Sweetie, you can’t sleep all day.” Dad knocks and enters my room, peeking his head in.
I frown at him and glance at my pink wall clock, the only thing I didn’t change, and it is barely noon.
“It’s not all day, Dad. Leave me be.” I roll over and stuff my face into the pillow.
He chuckles, “I made chocolate chip pancakes.”
“You can’t bribe me with food.” I say with my eyes closed.
He laughs again and I feel his heavy footsteps come across the room, then my bed dipping at the foot from his weight. He rubs my back over the comforter and I turn to look at him.
“You got home late last night.” He says, halfway stern. I know he hasn’t left the house yet at all because he’s wearing flannel pants instead of jeans and has an old tee shirt on. His tattoos used to be weird to look at growing up, trailing all the way down his hands, but now it’s just normal.
“Yeah. So?” I don’t really have a curfew or anything. Even if I did, I always stayed at home anyway.
“Spencer didn’t try anything with you, did he?” he frowns.
I giggle to hide my discomfort, I need to get better at lying. Technically I tried things with Spencer too, but he didn’t ask me that.
“No, Dad. He’s nice. They all are. Sort of.” I wipe at my eyes and sit up, he smiles and nods.
“Good.” he stands and pats my head like I’m nine. “Wake up. Come eat.” He shuts the door behind him and I groan internally, but I am already awake anyway.
I get up, go through my morning routine and dress in leggings and a sweater, Dad keeps it really cold in the house and I have yet to adjust.
I find Dad at the dining table, halfway through his breakfast. I make a plate and sit with him, contemplating my words.
“What if he had?” I ask him, cutting at my food.
“Hm?” he lifts the paper and folds it, half paying attention.
My heart stalls in my throat as I swallow and wonder what I am about to do, but I just have to know.
“If Spencer tried anything. What would you do?”
He drops the paper and his fork and gives me a funny look. “Depends what you would do first.”
I shrug, “I wouldn’t know.”
His expression drops and turns more serious, I almost regret asking him at all.
“My guys at the club know they’re not supposed to try anything, because they don’t want to find out what happens if they do. But Spence, he’s a new member, still a prospect basically.”
“So… he’d get off easy or something?” I try to pretend I am not that invested by still nibbling at my pancakes.
“No one gets off easy at the club. But maybe I’ll ruin his life a little less.” He chuckles, like it’s funny, but I am just more terrified.
/>
I finish the rest of my breakfast, surprisingly, and we move the conversation on to easier things for a bit. As I wash up, Dad comes over to help me put the dishes away.
“I talked to your mom this morning.” He says, and the plate nearly slips from my fingers.
“You did?” I shut the water off and face him.
He nods, crossing his arms and leaning against the counter. “Yeah I did.”
“Who called who?” I half smile, feeling like some sort of a matchmaker. This is the most I have bothered them about talking to each other and I suppose that it worked.
“I called her, like a man is supposed to do. All she did was yell. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you.”
“For advice?” I smile, nudging his arm.
He chuckles and shakes his head, “No, Jeannie. We’re your parents.”
“I forget sometimes.” I murmur, looking up at him.
He grins behind his beard and shakes his head at me. “Alright, sweetie, whatever you say.”
We finish up, and I know I have to go to the shop later for a few hours, but not all day like yesterday. I don’t know if Spencer will be there, but he also hasn’t called yet, so I can’t be sure. My mind keeps drifting over to our date tonight and I get butterflies every time. I’ve never been on one before, and I kind of wish he could come to the door and pick me up, meet my dad and everything, but clearly that isn’t going to happen. We’re both about to leave the kitchen before my phone rings, and it’s across the counter. I see the caller ID and run to it before he can see.
“Phone’s ringing,” he says, just before I grab it and cover the screen that reads Spencer across it.
“Thanks for breakfast.” I run off, racing up the stairs and answering on the last ring as I shut the door.
“Hello?” I answer, half panting.
“Why are you breathing like that?” he asks, humor in his voice. His deep, warm voice sounds just as good over the phone.
I smile, “Um, I was with my dad when the phone rang.” I go over and sit on my windowsill, smiling out at our green grass.
“Oh shit. Sorry.”
I giggle, “that’s okay. I’m… glad you called.”
He chuckles, “Yeah me too. Sorry I called so late, I don’t really wake up early.”
“I can understand that. What are you doing?” I bite my lip and smile like a giddy school girl, he kind of just makes me into one.
“I’m eating cold pizza on the couch.”
“Ew.”
“It’s better cold, I promise. And watching trash tv.”
“That’s the best tv. I just had breakfast. A real one.” I tease.
He sighs, “I was going to sit around all day until Tank called me and said I have to go in to the shop for a while.”
“Oh, that sucks.” I say. I find it weird how my dad just told me I didn’t have to go, but now it makes sense. He probably suspects something already and isn’t saying anything. I don’t want to warn Spencer about it because then he might back off, getting worried about being caught or something. So I keep it to myself.
“Yeah, not really, it’s something to do. But I was hoping to pick you up around six.”
I smile, “That sounds great. Except…”
“Or maybe we can meet up.” He laughs once.
“Yeah,” I smile, “That sounds good.” I sigh, sadly, because it sucks how we can’t really do things normally.
“I can’t wait to see you.” He says.
I beam, smiling from ear to ear.
“Me too.”
There is some noise on his end, and he says he has to go before he hangs up. I stare at my phone smiling, replaying his voice in my head. I do that for a while until I remember what Dad said about calling Mom. I’m due to check in with her anyway, so I call her up.
“Jeannine, I’m so glad you called.” She shrieks, Mom is easily overexcited. But it’s probably just because I am her only child.
“Hi Mom.” I smile, her honeyed voice is always a comfort to me.
“What have you been up to?” she asks, in that way she kind of knows something is wrong already. It makes my throat tighten at all that’s really wrong, but I didn’t call for me right now.
“Oh, nothing. Dad and I had breakfast together. He uh, he told me that he called you.” I say cautiously, good thing too, because there is complete silence on her end for a while.
Eventually, she sighs and confirms.
“Yeah he did. Early as hell too, he woke me up.”
I giggle, “He woke me up too. I guess that’s a thing he does.”
“Yeah, well.”
I hear her doing something on the other end that sounds like she is in her bakery.
“What did you guys talk about?” My mom and I have virtually no boundaries, I guess not really with either of my parents about certain things.
“Nothing really.”
“He said you yelled the whole time.” I laugh.
“I yelled once, that man is so sensitive.” She says, and I hear the smile in her voice, she sounds happy when she talks about Dad sometimes. That has to count for something.
“Okay well… what did he say?” I chew the inside of my cheek.
“Not much, he just called to see how I was doing. He does that.”
“I didn’t know that.” I say.
“Yeah, well, he’s a good man that way. Except we don’t actually talk about anything, usually. But he was asking about me visiting for fourth of July.”
“You should come! I’ll be missing you by then.”
She giggles, “You aren’t missing me now?”
“You know what I mean mom.”
“Yeah. Well that’s why I yelled, I said I wouldn’t come back until he started listening to me. Needless to say he hasn’t listened yet.”
“Give him some time. He is a man after all.”
“Since when do you know about men?” she laughs.
“I don’t, I guess.”
“No special boys over there?”
I groan, thinking of Spencer. “No. You know Dad would have a coronary if I had any.”
“Your dad is all talk baby, don’t worry about that. You can’t be alone forever.”
“I may have to.”
We swiftly change the conversation to easier things. She has a new cake recipe she wants to try out for the cupcakes and is hiring a new cashier for the shop. I would work there sometimes to help out, but she felt bad about asking me, now that I’m away she doesn’t really have a choice, and I’m going off to college.
“Will you try and talk to Dad again? Just to see me.” I try and bribe her, but we both know I wasn’t enough the first time.
“Yeah, I’ll think about it. Call me soon, okay?”
“Yeah, I will. Bye Mom.”
I hang up and try to figure out what I’ll do for the rest of the night, until I have my date with Spencer.
After tearing my closet apart I decide I have nothing to wear. With only a few hours until I meet Spencer, I start to panic. I want to look as good as possible, more than my jeans and tee shirt ensemble I have down. I know he probably won’t care, but I do. It’s our first date, my first ever, I don’t want to screw it up.
Adriana comes to the rescue; her closet is basically a store and I wasn’t about to spend money.
“Do you want to look hot or cute?” she asks.
I sit on her bed, a plush purple comforter and black headboard. Her room looks like a catalog too. Which would surprise someone living on a teacher’s salary, but it’s just her, and sometimes her parents still bank roll her life. It’s why she lives in the nicest building in town and has an entire room for a closet.
“Um… I don’t know?” I giggle, laying on the bed.
She frowns, looking down at me with her hands on her hips and smiling. I wish I could just look like her sometimes, in just shorts and an old tee shirt she looks hot. While I look like a vagrant.
“Oh my god. Hot it is.” She disappears in her closet and
I protest.
“No, I can’t pull off hot. I’ll look like I am trying to be hot, which isn’t a good look.” I’m not like Spencer, he is just plain hot. Sexy as hell. I am about as ordinary as it gets.
She comes back with a few options. Things that look short and tight.
“This is insane. I don’t even know why I’m trying.” I drop the fabric back onto the bed and frown.
“Don’t worry, you’ll look amazing regardless. So…”
“Here it comes.” I only told her the gist of things and I have been waiting for her to pry me for the full report.
“Is he a good kisser? Judging from the photo…”
“The photo that made me look like a stalker.” I still shiver in mortification at having taken that photo.
“And yeah he is. It’s not like I have kissed a bunch of people to compare but I don’t really need to.”
“Good. Every girl deserves that. I can’t tell you how many shitty kissers I’ve met in my life.”
I laugh at her. “I’m going to need different options.” I get up and go in her closet myself. It’s all color and dress coded too.
I have no idea where we are going, so I want to dress on the side of caution. We wear the same size of jeans as long as it’s stretchy, and I just have to roll the ends. So I find one of those pairs that’s high waisted and a black frilly crop top to go with it that has thin straps. I’ll probably wear a sweater or something but today is particularly warm.
“Cute right?” I ask Adriana.
She raises her brows and nods, “I guess if cute is what we’re going for. Are you sure you don’t want a mini skirt or something?”
“I don’t want to show off my body. That’s kind of deceptive isn’t it?” I ask, I don’t really do this date thing, clearly.
“Hm. Probably. You’re right, it’s not like you are picking him up at a club or something.”
“Yes, I know. thanks for the help.” I stuff the clothes in my bag.
Since I have a little bit of time, we move to her kitchen for a snack as she still pesters me about Spencer.
“So what else did you guys do in your car?”
I groan, “Nothing. We talked and made out, that’s it.”
