“What do you mean? You didn’t come. Ma did.”
“Were you really naked?”
“I had the sheet from the hotel room around me.” Large upper body giggling, Token covers his mouth with a tatted hand. I start to walk away and point a finger at him. “I’ll never forgive you for that.”
“Yeah, ya will.” He winks, straps down the extra helmet, and takes off. The farther away he gets, the more the familiar sound of his powerful bike fades.
Jogging up the steps, I unlock the door and toss my keys on the kitchen counter. My head snaps back to the basement door. I swear I closed it before I left. I lift my foot to investigate, but a creak from upstairs halts me. I stare up at the ceiling waiting until I hear another faint sound above me.
Fucking Lexi!
Climbing the stairs as quietly as possible, I stop at the top and listen. Shit! She’s in Becca’s room. I walk over and peek inside. Bent over in the closet, tossing clothes, old toys, stuffed animals out onto the floor, she’s obviously looking for something. I glide across the carpet, reach out, and grab her.
“Gotcha!” When I wrap my arms around her small frame, she stomps my foot. “Fuck!” I let go, and she darts for the door. “Oh, no you don’t!” Chasing her into my bedroom, I know I can’t let her reach the open window. I get a hold of her mask and yank it hard. She falls backward onto me. We hit the bed. Damn, she’s quick! She rebounds and jumps to her feet. I snatch a piece of her mask between two fingers, and when she bolts for the door, the mask remains in my grip. Her long ponytail flips me off.
“Not this time!” Lunging forward, I grab her ponytail and wrap it around my hand, then spin and push her against the wall.
Large blue eyes stop my heart.
The blood slows in my veins.
My breath quickens.
Mouth goes dry.
Sweat races to my skin.
Followed by a quick heaviness in my stomach.
I don’t know what I was expecting.
But she wasn’t it!
“Payton?” Voice trembling like the rest of my body, my hand tightens on the hair of the woman who stole my heart, who’s been keeping me up at night, tempting me to dream about a future. “What the fuck!” I pull her closer to me, searching her wide eyes, hoping if I look deep enough, I’ll uncover an answer as to why she’s at my home, but I find nothing. My chest tightens. Has it been her all this time? “What the fuck!” Breaking through the shock, my voice now steady and controlled, I give her hair a hard yank. “Was it you?” I tug harder, and her head jolts back, but her eyes remain locked with mine. “All this time, was it you?” Unwavering eyes glare up at me. “Talk to me, dammit!”
I drag her to the bed and push her on it. She comes up on her knees with a gun in her hand and points it at me.
“Do it.” I walk up to her. “I dare you.”
Knuckles white, she looks different, stronger, more powerful, and fuck, if I’m not impressed and, in some fucked-up way, turned on by it. What is wrong with me? Am I that far gone for this woman?
Fuck her.
I slap the gun out of her hand. We both watch it hit the wall and fall to the floor. I don’t know why I did it. She could’ve done it. She could’ve shot me but every part of me wants to trust this woman.
Eyes wide, mouth partially opened, she looks up from the gun. “What’s wrong with you? I could’ve killed you!”
“But you didn’t.” I grab her chin, but she pulls away. “Did Lexi send you?” I stare down at her. “I told you before, if she wants me, she’ll have to come get me herself.” I snatch her ponytail, pull her head back, and bend over her. “Fuck, Payton.” My heart squeezes in my already tight chest. I swallow back the hurt. “What do you want?”
Her jaw twitches. “Mr. Paddington,” she says between clenched teeth.
“What?” I move closer, searching for a hint of reason but she continues to hide behind impenetrable blue eyes.
“The picture on Becca’s nightstand.” She jerks her head, and my hand falls from her hair.
“The bear?” I stand, head flinching back. “You want the fucking stuffed animal?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Just give me the bear and I’ll be on my way. You’ll never see me again.”
“You think you’re gonna come into my daughter’s life, break into my house, and I’m going to give you what you want without a fucking explanation? Fuck, that’s not gonna happen.”
Her eyes soften a little. “I didn’t want to hurt you or Becca.” She blinks, and the coldness fills her icy blue eyes once more. “But you left me no choice. I need the bear.”
“Why?”
She drops back onto her calves and looks up at me. “Do you have it?”
“Did Lexi send you?”
Ignoring my question, she glares at me. “I know it’s been a few years. All I need to know is if it’s here or if it’s gone.”
“You tell her if she wants the fucking bear to come and get it herself.” I turn around and start for the door.
“Nix!” I feel her grab my shoulder. I seize her hand and push her away. “Please.” She moves toward me with a hint of desperation in her voice. “Tell me where it is.”
“Tell me why!” I press forward, but she moves back and hits the wall. “Now!” I slap a hand on the wall. She flinches from the loud smacking sound. Finally, a reaction. I slap the other side of the wall with my other hand. “Now!”
“I can’t!” She shakes her head. “Please, Nix! I can’t!”
I bend down, studying her for a long moment. Something inside me breaks, and I take a deep breath so the pain from the crack doesn’t take over. “Ya know …” I brush the hair from her cheek and tuck it behind her ear. “I thought it was gonna be you?”
Her lips press together and then slowly separate as she breathes out, “What?”
“I thought you were gonna be the one I fell in love with.” I run my thumb along her cheekbone, and with light pressure, I lift her chin until our lips meet.
“Nix.” Her voice vibrates against the soft kiss. I drop another and another until her lips become loose and pliable, until her flesh moves in sync with mine.
I start to fall back into that place where all I feel, all I want, all I need is her. No! I grab the sides of her head and take control of the sensual kiss, turning it into something savage and hostile. I can’t let her make a fool of me again. I was ready to clear out a space in my heart for her, and all this time, she’s been playing me to get what she wants or to get what Lexi wants. Fuck them both!
“No!” I tear my mouth from hers, wiping it with the back of my hand, pissed for surrendering to my weakness for her.
“I’m sorry.” She reaches out to touch me.
I slap her hand away. “Fuck you!”
“Nix.” She hits me with her blue eyes, hits my mouth, my shoulder, chest, heart. “I wish I could explain, but I—”
I hold up a hand. “Stop! I’m done with your bullshit, and I’m done dealing with you.” My nostrils stretch and deflate. “Next time, send Lexi. She’ll have a better chance of getting what you want.”
“I can’t! You don’t understand—”
I grab her arms and jerk her to me. Damn, I was so close to loving this woman. “Explain it to me then.” I squeeze her, crushing her arms as she crushed my heart. “Make me understand.”
“I can’t!” Her eyes gloss over.
“Then send her! I don’t want you!”
“I can’t!” Tears pool, clouding the determination in her eyes.
I shake her, not letting the pain in her voice, the tremble in her body, or the tears falling from her eyes affect me. “Dammit, Tell me why!”
“Because … because—”
“What, Payton? What!”
“Lexi’s dead!”
Everything goes black. Lexi’s dead? I stumble back a few feet, holding out my hands to brace myself in case I fall. The past few years of my life with Lexi flash before my ey
es. She’s dead?
Of all the things I wished for the mother of my child, death wasn’t one of them. Although, in the depth of my thoughts, I ignored that little voice in my head that’s been telling me there was no other reason she would’ve left Becca and never come back. I saw the way she looked at our child, same as me, with utter devotion. I clench a hand to my chest, trying to control the heaviness filling my heart. “Oh my God.” I stumble back a few more feet until I reach the bed. I lower down on it.
I blink a few times, waiting for the darkness to clear. “Fuck!” I scrub a hand over my face. The chance is gone. It’ll never happen. My child will never see her mom again.
Guilt washes over me. All these years, the hate I harbored for Lexi. Fuck! I should’ve tried harder to find her. Investigated more about where she was, why she left, how to get her back.
It seems to take forever, but once the anger, shame, guilt, and the shock clears my view, Payton’s blue eyes come into focus. She crouches down between my legs and looks up at me with an expression you’d see at someone’s funeral, someone who left this world way too soon. Lexi was young; she would’ve been twenty-nine this March.
“When?” I glare down at the stranger positioned between my legs, a gentle hand on my thigh and a shine of empathy in her eyes. “When did it happen?”
I watch a lump slowly travel down her throat as she swallows. “A year ago.”
“You knew her?”
“Yes.” She wipes a tear from her cheek. “And you’re not safe. I need the bear.”
“Why?”
“It’s best you don’t know.”
I hear her steady, low-pitched voice, note her strong posture, shoulders back, chin lifted, exposed neck, along with her calm and focused gaze, and I get it. The moves she had at Token’s gym, the way she was able to capture and tie me to a chair, the quick change from hot to cold—she’s been trained.
I lean back and scan her, taking a closer look. I have no idea who this woman is. I don’t know what she wants, and she’s not going to give me any information. “Get the fuck out of my house,” I say in my own well-practiced, calm voice.
Her head tilts. “I need the bear, Nix.”
I bend down closer to her. “Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. My. House!”
CHAPTER TWENTY
I ran down the stairs, out the back door, through the yard, jumped a fence, and then hopped into my car. I stuck the key in the ignition and hit the steering wheel. “Shit!” Tears stream down my face. He was supposed to be gone, so why did he come home early? “Shit!” I slam my fist on the steering wheel, again.
I failed her!
An hour later, I’m all cried out, showered, and curled up on my couch in nothing but a long tee shirt when my cell dings, causing my heart to jump. I pick it up and check my messages.
Did you find Mr. Paddington?
Shit! I type. I’m close, sir.
My cell dings again. Your time is up, Tucker.
Dammit! I quickly type back. Give me another 24hrs. I will get the file.
I stare at the phone, gnawing on a fingernail until the message notification pops up. Holding my breath, I click it. If you do not produce the file in 24hrs, I will have to move forward with the original plan.
Yes, sir. I toss my cell on the table and jump up. I need to get dressed. I must go back to Nix’s, and I will not leave until I get the file.
I can’t let her down.
I head to my bedroom, startled by the loud knock on my door. I redirect, praying that it’s Nix. If he’s here, then maybe he’s ready to talk. He wasn’t earlier when I dropped the bomb on him that Lexi was dead. I didn’t mean to blurt it out like I did, but he left me no choice. I was ready to break; the hurt and pain in his eyes nearly sliced my heart wide open. I thought for sure all my emotions were going to spill out everywhere, and I couldn’t let that happen. I’m so close, and nothing’s going to stop me from getting what I need from Nix Kane. Not my heart and not my feelings. My dedication lies with this mission and this mission alone. I knew from the beginning any feelings I had for Nix Kane would need to be set aside.
I open the door, and I’m met by wild, vicious green eyes. I take in the taut muscular body beneath the dark tee shirt, shoulders rising and falling, biceps flexed tight, venturing farther down the rampant figure filling my hallway, I notice a clenched fist holding … “Mr. Paddington?” I look up at him. “You still have him?” I reach out for the weathered stuffed animal.
Nix shoulders by me, entering my apartment full of rage, eyes darting nowhere but everywhere all at the same time. Closing the door, I keep my view on the bear as Nix paces my small living room space.
I take a step toward him, everything inside me wanting to calm and console him. “Nix.”
“No.” He points the bear at me, the raggedy thing’s head lops to the side from the tight grip around his neck. “This is what you wanted? All this time, this?” He holds up poor Mr. Paddington. Nostrils flaring, vein in his neck pulsating, and eyes narrowing, he shakes the stuffed animal. “Answer me!”
I jump from the threat in his tone. “I’m sorry,” I barely whisper, sensing my words won’t mean anything.
“You’re sorry!” He whips the bear on the floor. “You’re fucking sorry!” He charges me, grabs my arms as he had back at his place, fingers digging into my flesh an undeniable expression of his pain. “Did you care at all about me? Becca?”
I attempt to clear the thickness in my throat that’s making it impossible to speak but fail, my answer never making it to my tongue.
“Fuck!” His hands tighten around me. My heart slams in my chest. Breathing heavy, teeth bared, he’s really pissed. I pull back from him, afraid of what he might do. “It was you who broke into my home and threatened Becca that night?”
I nod once, blinking back a couple of tears that have made it to my burning ducts.
His left eye flinches. “And it was you in my bathroom the night I came out of the shower?”
Oh my God! Why is he bringing that up? I’ve tried but failed to forget about what I did that night. It’s when I realized when all was said and done, I wasn’t going to be able to walk away from Nix Kane. I’ve never had a man make me feel so many different things with just one kiss.
“Answer me!” He jerks me from my thoughts
I manage to swallow back the fear in my throat. “Yes.” I lift my chin a smidgen, preparing for my retribution from that night. “It was me.” There’s no denying it. I took advantage of the situation. I hid behind the mask and stole what I wanted from his rampant body, and the entire time, he thought I was someone else, someone he loved, someone he missed, someone he hated.
“You like fucking with me? Is that it? Was this all a game to you?”
“No.” I glance at the floor, the confliction in his tone shredding me into tiny, irreplaceable pieces.
“No?” His short harsh tone orders me to look back at him. His jawline sharpens. “Did you just want to fuck me in every way? Fuck my body, fuck my world, fuck my heart? Is that it?” He releases one of my arms and starts to pull me.
“No!” I choke out the word, trembling from shame and guilt. I hurt him, hurt him bad. He’s never going to forgive me.
“’Cause” —he drags me to my bedroom and pushes me inside—“if it’s a fuck you want, I can give you that.”
“Nix.” I press my trembling lips together. He’s not even trying to hide his hurt; he’s wearing it like a heart on the sleeve, all out in the open for me to see. It’s killing me.
“Take your clothes off.” He reaches for his belt buckle.
“No, not like this.” I shake my head.
“That wasn’t a request, Payton. Wait.” He stops and looks at me from the corner of his eye. “That is your name, right?”
“Yes. I didn’t lie to you about—”
“Take it off,” he cuts me off as he strips the belt from his pants.
“Please, Nix, let me explain.”
“No.” He tosses the
belt on the bed, walks over, and strips my tee shirt off just as easily as he had his belt. “First, we fuck.” He pinches my nipple and gives it a quick, hard tug. I shrink in with a moan. “Ah, that’s right.” He slaps my nipple. “You like it rough, don’t you?” His hand comes around and hits my other erect nipple. The ache that’s been skirting my insides since meeting Nix tightens deep inside me. “Now, how am I going to punish you for your deplorable behavior when you like a little pain?” He grabs my wrist and shoves me on the bed.
I fall on my back. My swollen breasts bounce from the jolt, bringing awareness to the ache there too. Through heavy eyelids, I gaze up at him. “I guess,” I say, watching him remove his shirt, “you’re going to have to give me more than just a little pain.”
“Yes.” Eyes locked with mine, he leans to the left of me and picks up his belt. He starts to wrap it around his hand. “I guess, I am.”
My shoulders sway back, searching for the mattress, my nipples harden with excitement and my pussy pulsates, wetness expelling with each beat. I bite my lip, waiting for him to …
“Roll over,” he says, and prepared to take whatever he needs to give me, however he wishes to punish me for breaking his heart, I obey. I want it. Want him to do with me as he deems fit. I’ll take anything he has to offer, be it a spanking from his belt, a hostile kiss from his mouth, a pinch of the nipple from his dexterous fingers, I’ll take it all. If I can’t surrender my heart, the least I can do is surrender my body.
I roll onto my belly, grip the sheet with both hands, and ever so slightly, I raise my hips. Knowing my ass is in the air a little higher than the rest of my body, knowing it is there for his taking, turns me on more than I’ve ever been in my life. But the instant the leather of his belt snaps against my waiting ass, I shift restlessly on the mattress and let out a low cry.
“No, back to how you were before,” he says, and again, I obey.
I lift my ass, and the next crack against my burning flesh has my body curling into the mattress. Another hard, stinging hit and my hips begin to thrust against the mattress, my pelvis pressing, seeking, wishing he was inside me. “Nix.” My hands spread out on the cool sheets.
NIX (Daring the Kane Brothers) Page 12
