by Samuel Fort
Chapter 30 - Lilian’s Angst
At dinner that evening, Lilian took part in every conversation, contributing an opinion here and an opinion there, agreeing with her guests on some topics and politely disagreeing with them on others. She called for the fetches to refill wine glasses and to bring coffee and tea. She did everything she could to conceal the fact that Barnum’s revelations as to her legal status had shaken her world.
The fettered princess had a plan in place that would gain her a throne and it had seemed to be working. Its continued success, however, depended on her correctly assessing her environment and being aware of all the pertinent facts, however minor. Two hours ago she had been blindsided by a fact that was in no way minor. If Ben died or divorced her, she would not only lose her throne but also be cast out and marked.
The dichotomy was extreme. Her options were to rule with Ben at her side, always, or to be killed like a rabid dog.
It was not the external threat that concerned her. She expected the other Houses to weaken considerably after the collapse and to break apart. It was the threat within that concerned her. To rule she needed the support of the nobility within her own House. She also needed the support of the scribes, the Peth-Allati, and to some extent, the citizenry. If Ben were to die, or divorce her, the fact that she was the biological daughter of a true Nisirtu king would not deter others within her House who were hungry for her throne from enforcing the mark.
She pondered this throughout the meal, Ben to her left and Fiela to his, both oblivious to her internal struggles. The only silver lining to her predicament was that Ben, having come from the ranks of the Ardoon, was not of royal lineage. Had Lilian married a Nisirtu noble, which is what she had requested Ridley to script, the noble’s family would have inevitably schemed against her and sought to replace Lilian with a queen of their own choosing. The family might have even overthrown their own flesh and blood if the king failed to acquiesce to their constant demands for royal positions, rights, and authorities.
The fact that Ben was from the ranks of the Ardoon and had no living relatives greatly diminished the possibility that he would be assassinated. That in turn reduced the probability that Lilian and her future children would be marked. Ridley had thus provided her a better script than she had requested.
Yet she now realized that she would need to modify her plan and place a much higher priority on Ben’s survival during the tumultuous days to come. Yesterday obtaining the throne was conditional upon her marriage to him - a condition she had met. Today, keeping that throne was conditional upon him remaining alive.
And happy, she reminded herself. That was a problem. He was already angry with her and had on several occasions called their marriage a sham, which it surely had been. She had regrettably even said so herself and had bribed him to come to Steepleguard because then it had not mattered if he remained in the marriage, so long as she became queen before his departure.
Now it did matter.
Now she needed him to take the union seriously.
It wasn’t that she had not planned to make him happy. To her relief, she had grown very fond of the former Ardoon. Perhaps she didn’t love him, not yet, but she could not remember ever loving any man other than her father. Ben seemed fond of her, too, when he was not angry with her, and he did not seem the type of man who would be disloyal.
Her problem was that loyalty and fondness had been elective yesterday. Today they were bare minimums. She had spent most of the meal contemplating how she could prove to Ben that she no longer viewed their marriage as a sham, but none of the schemes she cooked up seem viable. He would see through them.
She had been riddled with angst up to the moment that Fiela had tipped over a glass of wine and squealed loudly as it dripped onto her skirt. It was an ear-piercing sound and Ben was visibly startled. While others at the table chuckled, his face took on a hard expression and his eyes seemed to focus on something distant. He clasped his hands together in front of him, the knuckles growing white.
The other guests sensed the tension and the table went silent. Fiela, who had been dabbing at the wine, lifted her head saw what the others at the table were pretending not to see. Alarmed, she had immediately risen from her chair and moved to Ben’s side, whispering something in his ear and running a hand over his.
To everyone’s relief, Ben had politely excused himself before allowing Fiela to lead him into a corridor while making it seem as if he were leading her. Lilian could see into the corridor and watched as the Peth reached up and caressed Ben’s neck and kissed him on the shoulder and said something to him and then repeated it. Lilian had not needed to hear the words to know they formed an apology.
At first, the fallen princess was befuddled. Ben’s reaction to a spilled glass of wine made no sense. But then she remembered, from her investigations, that the man had a ‘problem’ with sudden movements and loud noises. His health records stated that he suffered from a form of PTSD, caused by wartime trauma. Something to do with a bomb that had killed a friend of his in Afghanistan. The former Marine’s records stated that unexpectedly loud noises, in particular, could cause Ben to lash out in anger – sometimes, physically. It wasn’t the spilled wine that had set him off. It has been Fiela’s scream.
In the corridor, the girl had buried her face in the man’s chest and had put her arms around him. There was a short conversation and the two had absconded. In that instant, Lilian realized the solution to her marital problems was, of all things, Fiela.
The Peth, her sister and guardian, did love Ben. There was no doubt about it. It was apparent in the way the girl talked about him and how she sought to be always in his company. Fiela had even prohibited Ridley’s fetches from preparing Ben’s breakfast or tending to him during the meal, thus condemning the poor man to a predictable morning ration of over-cooked eggs and toast.
Fiela considered Ben a kindred spirit. Both had fought in wars and both struggled with certain psychological side effects, to include nightmares. Earlier that afternoon the two had swapped stories about their experiences and while the discussion was mostly somber, there were a few laughs, too, which she assumed brought the two closer together, emotionally.
Equally important, unlike Lilian or Ben, Fiela treated the three’s marriage as absolutely genuine. Fiela actually believed in it. She had played no part in the ruse used to get Ben to sign the marriage contract and so was spared the accusations he hurled at Lilian. Fiela was an innocent, and Ben seemed to realize that.
Did Ben love the serretu? Perhaps. He was, at least, enamored with her, and seemed to be amused at her silliness. Unfortunately, the two had yet to engage in a sexual relationship, which was absurd. Fiela was beautiful and Ben was handsome. They shared the same bed and they were joined together by Nisirtu law, yet all they ever did was talk and touch one another, and not in the way Lilian wanted.
Lilian had worried about this even before the meeting with Barnum and the idea had begun to form in her head that Fiela was simply not trying hard enough. It surely wasn’t her husband’s fault. Ben had been thrown into a strange world with strange rituals and the Ardoon did not typically have second wives. Though Lilian had told him in no uncertain words that she and Fiela were both available to him, his mind had yet to adjust to this new reality.
Fiela would have to take command of the situation. The serretu would have to convince Ben that she wanted him, which she surely did, and that he was derelict in his role as mutu if he failed to consummate the marriage with both women.
Yes, Lilian would need to speak to the girl about that.
It was also important that she impress upon Fiela that, though they were sisters, there could be no blurring of lines with regard to station. Lilian’s future was tied to Ben’s and if Ben’s continued presence depended on Fiela, Lilian would need Fiela’s unquestioning obedience and loyalty. It was, in a way, a circle of dependence.
Yes, so long as her husband felt an emotional obligation to his serretu,
and she to him, he wasn’t likely to dismiss the marriage altogether. Lilian would need to ensure that the bond between Fiela and Ben held firm until she could establish her own, and she needed the Peth to understand that she was a subject first and a sister second.
