by Lexi C. Foss
It was probably a trap.
Or maybe a clue.
I prodded it inside my mind and braced for the electric zap, only to be sucked into a very real image of my bedroom from my childhood—the one I lived in before my parents disappeared.
What in the fae…?
“Aflora?” a young male voice called, causing me to spin toward the door. Silver-blue eyes met mine, set in a frame of boyish features with long white hair tied back into a low ponytail. “Are you hiding?” he asked.
I frowned. “Zakkai?”
His brow furrowed. “Am I in trouble?”
“Uh, yes?” He’d crafted a land mine in my head… and sent me back in time?
“Because of the bite?” His lips pinched to the side. “I already told you that I don’t want to do it. But Dad said I have to. It’s the best way to protect you in case something happens.”
“I don’t understand.”
He blew out a breath and entered my room with a shuffle of his feet, the movement clumsy. Probably because he was pretending to be a child.
Except, as he moved past a mirror, I caught a glimpse of myself and gasped at my young appearance. Holy fae! He’d turned me into a kid, too! “How old am I?”
“Huh?” He looked at me and scratched his head. “Seven?”
My eyes widened. “What?” This was the year my parents died. Did he intend to torment me by making me relive it with this kid version of himself at my side?
“Look, I know. This sucks so bad. But Dad says it’s only temporary. And I’ll protect you, Flora. I always do.” He flashed me a boyish grin with dimples on the sides, and a giggle clawed at my chest. Not one I wanted to release, but the body I possessed was apparently amused.
His smile grew as the giggle escaped. What is happening to me? And why is he calling me Flora?
“See, I knew you weren’t really upset,” he teased. “Do you want to go play with the flowers outside before dinner?”
My mom’s garden.
I looked at the door, then at the mirror again, and back at Zakkai.
We were in some sort of memory loop. Except he’d morphed it somehow by being here. I wanted to hate him for it, but it’d been so long since I’d dreamt of my mother’s flowers and their beautiful scents.
I could indulge in just a few minutes, right?
It was my head—therefore, my rules.
I nodded. “Yes.”
His grin seemed to reach his ears as he hopped around to lead me through the halls of my old home. My parents stood in the kitchen, their tones hushed as we entered. A man who resembled an older Zakkai stood with them, his expression emotionless.
“Aflora,” my mother said, frowning at my dress. “That’s not the outfit I laid out for you this morning.”
Her words nagged at me, a memory forming unbidden in my mind. She’d said this to me before… but when?
“Carmella,” my father murmured. “She can wear whatever she wants for tonight.”
My mother glanced at him, then sighed. “Yes, yes, of course.”
“We’re going outside to play with flowers,” Zakkai announced, sounding proud.
His father—or I assumed the older Zakkai look-alike was his dad—grunted. “You’re not an Earth Fae, Kai.”
“I know, but Flora is. And she likes flowers.” He beamed at me. “And stars.”
Why did this all feel so familiar? I’d never lived this moment before, and yet, I knew what my mother was about to say.
“There’s no time for playing in the garden tonight,” she said, right on cue. “We’ve talked about this.”
Some of the light seemed to die in Zakkai’s eyes. “I just thought… maybe… we could play first.”
“We’re not here to play, Kai,” his father said, the sternness in his voice making me flinch.
“Easy, Laki,” my dad murmured, walking up to place a hand on my head. “They’re just kids.”
“Who are about to bond like adults,” my mother added under her breath.
“Temporarily,” Laki corrected. “He’ll protect her until she’s of age, then he’ll reverse the bond. I’ll show him how.”
I frowned. “Bond?” I knew what they meant, but I was having trouble accepting this version of events.
“Yes, sweetheart. Zakkai is going to bond with you to keep you safe,” my dad said, his voice soft. “It’s just a security measure in case anything happens to me and your mom, okay?”
“Why would something happen to you?” The words fell from my lips before I could hold them back, my mind falling into my seven-year-old form and repeating the question I recalled asking that day.
“Because life is full of unexpected events,” my dad replied, then pressed his lips to my temple. “This is just our way of adding some protection.”
“But you already protect me,” I pointed out in my childlike voice. “And so does Kai.”
Kai? I thought, repeating the nickname. Why did I call him that? Because that was what my memory required.
Or was this all just a lie? Another twisted test?
“I’ll always protect you,” Zakkai agreed, sounding proud. “But this will, like, bond us more. So that way I can sense if you’re in danger.”
Laki nodded. “Yes. And he’ll be able to help you even if he’s in another kingdom.”
Yes, I knew all this. Mom and Dad had explained it last week.
I frowned. Last week? I shook my head. This experience was starting to feel a little too real, like I was seven again.
Everything slowed around me, my parents freezing in place as my father began to speak. Laki stilled as well, his face void of expression, but Zakkai merely smiled at me, his dimples flashing proudly.
“I don’t understand what’s happening,” I said.
“It’s a memory spell, Flora.” His eyes sparkled as he used my nickname again. “It’s so you can remember.”
“Remember what?”
“Me,” he replied as everything dissolved around us into a new image of real stars and the two of us lying on our backs outside, his hand in mine. “I don’t want to go,” he said, his gaze on the sky above. “But Dad says I have to.”
“I don’t want you to go either,” I replied, the childlike voice one I remembered but the phrase foreign. I hadn’t even thought to speak those words; they just left my mouth without permission.
“He says you have to forget me, too,” he added, frowning. “I don’t want to do it.”
“Then don’t.”
“But I have to protect you, Flora.” He squeezed my hand. “You’re my best friend, and that’s what best friends do.”
“Mom and Dad will protect me.” My mouth just kept moving without my permission, saying things before I could process the reaction. “I don’t want to forget you, Kai.”
He sighed. “I know. But I’ll make you remember one day.”
“When?”
“I don’t know. Dad says it might be a while. We have to go hide in a new kingdom.” The way his lips twisted to the side told me how he felt about that.
“A new kingdom?” I repeated.
“Yeah.”
“So you’re leaving me?”
“I have to, Flora. The bad fae are getting too close.” He finally looked at me, his eyes misted with tears. “I don’t want to go, but Dad says it’s the only way to be safe.”
“What about me?” I asked, my voice small.
He reached over to place his hand over my heart. “I’ll always be here, Flora. ’Cause of the bond.”
I felt the connection pulsate in response, the strand tying us together as one. It tingled a little, warming my skin. “You’re my best friend, Kai.”
“I know,” he whispered. “You’re mine, too, Flora. I’m sorry you won’t remember me.”
“I’m sorry, too,” I replied softly, his sadness weaving an inky sensation through our link. It wrapped around me like a cloak of despair, his eyes clouding over as magic sprang to life between us. “What are you…?”
“But you didn’t…?” I trailed off, not remembering what I wanted to say. The snakelike sensation writhed through me, confusing my intentions and my mind. I couldn’t tell reality from fiction, memory from trickery.
Was this all part of the game in my mind?
Zakkai, I recalled, thinking of the blinking lights and the web of power he’d tossed over me.
But then an image of him as a young boy flashed again, his eyes filled with tears as his father grabbed him by the shoulders and told him to be a man and finish it. Zakkai shook his head, refusing to lose his only friend. He kept saying he couldn’t do it, that he couldn’t make me forget.
Everything went white.
Then black.
And I blinked my eyes open to see his bedroom once more.
Silk sheets caressed my skin, the hint of the ocean teasing my senses.
Memories flooded my thoughts of summer nights with Zakkai, playing beneath the stars. Growing flowers for him to collect. Building toy castles out of small rocks. Chasing each other in endless games of tag. Magical games of earth blending with Quandary skills.
The final night played through my mind. The night when he bit me three times, then spelled me to forget him. He’d put blocks in place so I wouldn’t sense him, but he could feel me… and the pain that had followed.
Zakkai hadn’t wanted to finish it, but his father made him. The little boy had collapsed to the ground on a scream, the agony unlike any I’d ever witnessed.
My parents had been concerned, but Laki had insisted his son was fine. “Rewriting the magic to cut her off and forcing her to forget requires the utmost discipline and skill. It hurts. But he’ll grow from the pain.” He’d held out a hand to Zakkai. “Let’s go.”
The young boy had looked at me with heartbreak in his eyes, his face wet from tears.
And then he’d vanished.
My chest ached with the memory, my mind conflicted on whether or not to believe it. Is it true? I demanded through our newly restored link. Is what you just showed me real?
Come join me and find out, he taunted into my mind. Your robe is still on the bed.
I FELT Aflora snap out of Zakkai’s mental web, her mind free once more. Her confusion bled into ire as she considered all that he’d revealed, her stubborn nature stepping forward as she refused to believe his retelling of their past events.
While normally that would make me smirk in amusement, I couldn’t. Not with Zeph and Kols sitting across from me wearing matching expressions of annoyance.
“This information would have been helpful two months ago, Shadow,” Zeph deadpanned.
My jaw ticked. “If I’d told you about Zakkai then, the future would have changed.” Kols and Zeph hadn’t accepted Aflora as their mate two months ago. They’d needed time to learn more about her, to realize she wasn’t a threat—at least not to them—and to fall in love with her. Without all that, this destiny would never be able to unfold. And the alternative wasn’t pretty. I knew because I’d lived through it seven fucking times.
“So her Quandary magic comes from her mating to the Source Architect—Zakkai—not her parents,” Kols reiterated. “Which means she is the true earth source heir.”
“Yes,” I replied, reining in my patience to make it through this conversation. His gargoyle had done a number on me, leaving me much weaker than usual. I was still only halfway recovered. If Zeph and Kols decided to fight me now, they’d win. Especially with Tray and Ella on their side.
Then I’d have to start this conversation over again.
Which I really didn’t want to do.
We’d already gone through it so many times.
Kyros leaned against the hallway wall, waiting for me to signal him for another loop. But this one was going better than the others, mostly because I’d changed the whole game by biting Kols. Granting him a connection to my soul seemed to temper his magic a little. Perhaps he sensed what was coming, how our lives would be forever altered.
Or maybe it was just enough insight to ground him.
Regardless, I was thankful for the reprieve, as I desperately needed to heal. It was hard enough blocking Aflora from my mind at full strength. Having to do it at half strength just exhausted me that much more.
“But her magic has mingled with his over the last fifteen years,” Kols continued. “Which makes her an abomination.”
“Also yes,” I agreed. “Something you would have killed her for two months ago.”
He dipped his chin in acknowledgment. “True.”
“And won’t now,” I pressed. “Hence the reason I couldn’t reveal this to you before.”
“I get it,” he repeated, his tone clipped. “That doesn’t mean I like it.”
I grunted. He thought this was hard on him? He should try living all these realities and repeating every fucking moment.
Kyros smirked as though he could read my mind. Because yeah, he’d joined me in this hell. His motives were his own, but we shared a similar goal.
“All right, what now?” Zeph pressed. “Where is she? How do we get her back?”
“We don’t,” I replied. “She has to choose.”
“Choose?” he repeated. “Between us and Zakkai?”
I wavered on how to reply to that. His phrasing was too simplistic. The real choice she had to make went so much deeper than a game of this or that. Her chosen path would change the landscape for all of Midnight Fae kind, and potentially other fae as well.
“Shade,” Zeph snapped. “What choice?”
Kols pressed his palm to Zeph’s thigh. “Give him a moment.”
I blinked, momentarily stunned by the understanding in the Elite Blood’s tone. He was usually the first to join the Warrior Blood in his pressing for details, the pair of them always teaming up against me. Which was fine, as I could handle it. But this softer side of Kols was unexpected.
Had I known the way to calming Kols’s reactions was through a bite, I would have done so ages ago. However, if he knew the real reason I’d done it, he might not be so content with it. But that was a conversation for another day. One that would happen very soon, if my grandmother’s vision came to fruition.
“Playing with time carries consequences, Shadow. I believe this fate will be one of yours.”
“What did I do to deserve this?” I’d asked, for once just saying what I felt rather than pretending none of it mattered.
“It’s fate’s burden,” she’d replied. “You’re the strongest of all of us, Shadow. That’s why your destiny is the hardest.”
Her words played through my head, making me grimace.
We’ll see, I thought.
“Shade,” Kols prompted, arching an auburn brow. “How do we get Aflora back?”
“Have you considered that she might be safer with Zakkai?” Tray interjected, his tone quiet yet thoughtful. “What will you do if you find her? Run? Because the Council isn’t going to let you keep her, Kols.”
“Safer with the Quandary Blood who wants to start a war?” Zeph repeated, sounding darkly amused. “Sure. That sounds positively safe.”
“He won’t hurt her,” I said quietly. “I wouldn’t have given her to him otherwise.”
“We’ll come back to that in just a moment,” Zeph replied, his green eyes flashing with power. “As to leaving her with him, the answer is no.”
“Where would you keep her?” Tray stressed. “In the Human Realm?”
“We could take her back to the Elemental Fae,” Kols suggested.
“To the realm where the Elders killed her parents and got away with it?” Tray countered, arching a dark brow. “Perhaps we need to focus on making it a safer place for her to return to first.”
While an admirable idea, I knew it would fail.
Every path led to war.
There was no alternative.
But I couldn’t say that.
Giving too much away could potentially create more destinies, and we had enough laid out before us to last several lifetimes over. Which was saying a lot since we were all immortals with the potential to live forever.
Everyone fell silent as they considered Tray’s statement.
Then Zeph cleared his throat. “I can’t leave her with Zakkai. It goes against every instinct.” He nailed me with a stare. “You have to be feeling it, too.”
“I do. Every day.” The block was nothing new for me. I’d resurrected the wall between us from the very beginning in an attempt to keep Zakkai out of my mind. “But if you lower the shield I put up, Zakkai will have access to your mind. And he’s powerful, Zeph. You won’t stand a chance against him.”
“I’m still trying to figure out how he ascended without us feeling it,” Kols said, frowning. “You claim he’s the Source Architect. Shouldn’t I sense that as the Source Heir?”
“You do feel it,” I murmured, sighing. “And we all felt his ascension. Actually, we participated in it.”
Zeph and Kols both stared at me.
I stared back.
Then Kols’s gaze began to smolder as his mind caught up. “The LethaForest.”
I dipped my chin, confirming he was on the right path.
“What?” Zeph glanced between us. “The LethaForest? Which time?”
“The night Aflora imploded,” Kols said. “When I lost control in her room after we fucked for the first time.”
“That was your overreaction to the bond,” Zeph said.
Understatement, I thought, rolling my eyes.
“I felt a huge burst of power that night, which I originally assumed was tied to our newly formed bond.” Kols blinked his gold eyes back to mine. “But that wasn’t it at all, was it? You’re saying that was the night Zakkai ascended.”
I lifted a shoulder. “It could have been a combination of events. Fate likes to do that. But her need to expel all that energy was a result of his rise to power.”
“That’s what my father felt, too,” Kols whispered.
“Do you think he knows the truth?” Tray asked, shifting his stance beside Ella. She’d remained abnormally quiet at his side, her blue eyes wide with growing trepidation. Her fiery personality had taken a back seat to the heavy conversation flowing around her.
