by Arthur Stone
“Did she describe where we should go?” Cheater pushed on, his heart sinking as he realized how much he had missed.
“Mostly she makes derisive comments about your deficient mental faculties.”
“That’s her for sure, then,” Cheater smiled. “But what about the place? Be specific for once, March. Tell me the truth.”
“Mostly she’s been talking about what color panties she’s wearing and so on.”
Cheater rose to his feet. “I’m serious!”
“Actually, that’s the only thing she’s gone into detail about. I mean the place, not the panties.”
“Then that’s where we go!”
Clown chuckled. “She should’ve nicknamed you Captain Obvious.”
“She should have,” Cheater nodded. “What did she write last, March?”
“Last? The last sentence isn’t even finished. I guess she figured out mid-sentence that you were utterly hopeless.”
“Or that she didn’t need to finish that word,” Cheater waved. “What about before that?”
“She wrote a lot before that. But come on now, stretch your newly-found mind and read it yourself. It’s simple enough to decode. I’m too polite to go reading lovers’ private letters, you know. Especially a second time. Plus, while you’re occupied with that, you won’t have the time to do anything stupid. You can give us both a break from nannying you. Lots of counting and thinking for you to do. Hop to!”
“How’s this cipher work again?” Cheater asked.
“It’s simple, like I said. You can figure it out yourself. Although that’s no longer necessary, really. She’s given us the most important piece of information, and multiple times. You can cap off with the lovey dovey nonsense when the two of you meet. Don’t let that distract you now.”
“It’s not nonsense.”
“Everything in this world is nonsense, Cheater. Except beer. Also, we need to think about your friend,” March pointed towards Clown.
“My friend? You’re the one who found him. I didn’t know him before.”
“Right. But I only ‘found’ him for our crossing, and I had no further plans to work with him. That was a one-off.”
“I’m making no claims on the junk you got from the Unnamed One,” Clown replied. “It’s all yours. No trouble coming from me.”
“I’m not a very trusting man,” March said darkly, “nor should I be.”
“Of course you’re not,” Clown nodded. “But I’m just here for the sights. No shady business.”
“He could have killed me when he found me,” Cheater added. “He would have scored the bulk of that loot, and these mods, and then some. I can vouch for Clown.”
“You vouched for Tat, too—and she seemed trustworthy to you,” March reminded him.
“I recommended her for the crossing, but I didn’t vouch for her,” Cheater objected. “I never said she should be with us for the long haul. Plus, I was thinking that...”
“Wait, you’ve started thinking now? Heaven help us! Well? Go on. What is it that you’re thinking?”
“About what comes afterward. What happens after I find Kitty?”
“Interesting. I had concluded that your mental exercises did not reach that far into the future. Of course, I have some ideas on what you should do just after you meet. But you’ll hit me if I voice them. I’d like to keep my face for a while longer, so I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
“Good. Anyway, at first, I just walked. East. I had no other goal. Now, heading east is still the top priority for me, but what then? We’ll have to settle into some kind of life. Settling in isn’t an easy thing to do, especially for one or two players on their own. Our lives could easily be ruined by Romeo, or by whoever else. There is no easy peace to be found on the Continent. And so, we’ll need a team. A good team makes life much easier. I can vouch for Clown, and he can aid the team in several ways.”
“So you’re going to assemble a team,” March raised an eyebrow.
“I have no aspirations of leading this team,” Cheater replied. “But think about it. Ten players like us would be a force to be reckoned with. You’re a force to be reckoned with on your own. I doubt there are many groups who have the skilled grab teams and atomic arsenals the Devils had. Plus, they’d have to nab you when your ability was on cooldown, or else even the slightest failure to control you would result in the deaths of every member of their team. I’m not nearly as strong as you, but I’m stronger than I was. I know by now that this game has few players of our caliber. When we reach Kitty, there will be four of us. We will not all be of equal strength, but that can be remedied. We have plenty of money for character development. That helps a lot. More players can be added to our team from that region. Without a large enough group, life will be hard; even the great March needs someone to cover his ass.”
“Fine, to hell with it—so you vouch for Clown,” March nodded. “Although I would rethink your decision to join at least a dozen times, Clown, if I were you. Cheater is like a great big fan. No matter where he goes, shit hits him.”
“I know. That’s what I want.”
“Just remember that I warned you.”
Cheater made yet another attempt to pull the conversation back on track. “So what are our plans?”
March took a sip of beer, relaxed his eyes in ecstasy, and deigned to answer. “First, I’d like to hear the latest news from you two, since no one is after us at the moment. Ah yes, and tell me what happened after the Unnamed One died. Perhaps that information is more valuable than you could know. Start with that, and go one day at a time.”
“Alright. As long as you tell us how they caught you,” Cheater countered.
“What’s there to tell? I went to the first stable I could find and sat down for a beer. As I was doing so, I agreed with a certain beautiful girl on her price for a good time. I vaguely remember us starting to enjoy ourselves... After that, I don’t remember anything. Until I came to my senses surrounded by Devils, including one who could do to a man what a puppetmaster does to his dolls. I tried to escape, but quickly realized that was to no avail. And yes, the irony does not escape me—it all started with a woman. My critical mistake was letting my guard down. Millions, nay, billions of men have been ensnared by that hook, and I went down into the house of the harlot willingly—the end of whose ways are death. Until the last, I hoped you were smart enough to kill me from a distance without giving yourself away. But Cheater and intelligence are like oil and water. They don’t mix. So you jumped right into the trap. As soon as they had you, their puppetmaster shifted his focus to you, and they took me out. Alright, so, that’s my part of the story. Now, tell me how the hell you escaped the Devils so quickly—and even had time to get to me all the way out here. If I didn’t know better, I’d think the two of you were geniuses.”
“Alright. And what will we do after I tell the story?” Cheater pushed.
“Depends on the circumstances,” March hedged.
“Well, in a nutshell, there are no more Devils. They’re getting mown down, throughout the cluster. Everyone hated them. Now, they are sitting ducks, ripe for shooting. After all, their fortress is kaput, and that’s where they were keeping nearly all their weapons and vehicles.”
“Well, that’s valuable information, indeed,” March admitted.
“The fortress didn’t blow itself up, either. We did that,” Clown clarified. “Cheater arranged an Armageddon. Anyone who might have survived is probably still running, without looking back. I helped him pour gas into the hole, and we lit the match.”
“Gas into the hole?” March blinked.
“Yes. There was no other way. It was Cheater’s idea, to complete some System quest he had. A quest directly from the System—imagine that.”
“What was the quest?”
“To destroy the atomic arsenal underneath the fortress.”
March uncharacteristically stopped midway the motion of his left hand as it lifted his beer to his mouth. “You poured gas on it?”
“An Elite Nold? Romeo?” March dropped all pretense of nonchalance. “Details!”
“It’s a long, long story. I saw it all, and it was beautiful. Oh, and see that sword Cheater’s got? He stole it from a tomb of the grays.”
“Stop!” March exclaimed, throwing up his hands and sloshing his precious alcohol. “One thing at a time, and with details. From the beginning, if possible.”
“Then what?” Cheater repeated. “Now that you know the big picture, you can tell us what plans we have.”
March finally took a sip and nodded. “Fine, you bastard, you’ve talked me into talking. First, we’re going to buy an anti-aircraft gun.”
Cheater frowned as March’s eyes went distant—he was clearly doing something in the game UI.
A few seconds later, he asked, “Could you make me party leader? Just for a second.”
“Why?”
“I need to add one person to the party. Someone I trust nearly as much as I trust myself. Since we’re putting a team together and all. He’ll come in handy. Come on—I’ll give you the role right back.”
Cheater shook his head. “No way. Only Kitty and I can be leaders of this party, until we’re reunited.”
“You’ll never change those terms?”
“Right. Sorry, March. I trust you, but not completely. You might kick Kitty from the party. I’m not saying you’d do it out of spite—you might have reasons for it. Maybe that would even be better for the team. But I don’t give a damn. If you don’t like that, then I’ll go on ahead by myself.”
“Fine, I’ll do my best to overlook your stubborn idiocy. Add him to the party yourself, then. Head into the party logs, find his nick, and get his ID from there.”
“Who is he?”
“The Janitor, of course.”
“Janitor? How’d he get here? He was two regions away from us!”
“No, not two away—he was in the neighboring one. He crossed the first border as he plummeted to his death.”
“That’s still a different region.”
“So he crossed into this one. He’s the Janitor. He knows how to walk. Come on, add him to the party.”
“Alright. Then what?”
“We’ll work out our plans a little more, over some beer. Then, we head towards Rainbow.”
“Rainbow? Why?”
“That’s where we can buy an anti-aircraft gun. And that’s where we’ll meet the Janitor. It’s a prominent location, and a very convenient meeting spot. So add him in. Then, you can tell us your story.”
Chapter 8
Life Nine. Rainbow Road
By all appearances, March had not been captured immediately after his previous respawn. Or, he had possessed a set of high-quality maps of the region before they even went for the crossing. Without ever asking his companions or anyone else for any help, he confidently led the group along the shortest direct path to Rainbow.
Clown had remarked that they could pick up some suitable transportation at the nearest stable, or even from one of the nearby dead towns and villages. Driving was, for all its dangers, much faster than walking. Cheater backed him up. His impatience had reached its maximum after learning the secret meaning of the “game” he was playing with Kitty.
Every time he looked at the map, he wanted to go faster. Now, after all, he wasn’t just looking for a particular region. He knew the specific area. The final border was a little under 250 miles away, as the crow flew. Beyond that region and the gray and black lands beyond, he would at last see her icon on the map. The chat system would work again.
They were nearly there, so of course he was impatient.
March ignored all of these tips regarding vehicles, however, or diverted the conversation. Not until night fell did he respond.
Stopping, he pointed out a few suspect plumes of smoke parallel to their route. “See those? The map says that there’s a stable there somewhere. The one you wanted to pick up a vehicle in, Clown. But those fires bode ill. Something is happening that we ought to stay away from. A conflict of some kind, and I doubt either side is infecteds. So we continue on foot. I’d like to get there faster, too—but most of all, I’d like to get there alive. In case either of you is not aware, I should explain that our destination is famous for being devoid of serious confrontations.”
“Yeah,” Clown nodded. “If you’re going to run into trouble, Rainbow is the last place you’ll find it.”
“Why? What’s different about Rainbow?” Cheater asked.
Clown raised his eyebrows, but March just shrugged. “Of course he doesn’t know. His mind is empty of worthless things like common knowledge. The System isn’t even restoring his memories. Why should it? He seems to be doing just fine. Cheater is a master at getting himself into impossible situations—and then getting out of them, without so much as a moment spent on thought. Perhaps he would prefer to think, but I fear he just doesn’t have the necessary apparatus. He is the ultimate specimen of an individual who survives not by intellect, but by intuition. This works quite well for him, so the System doesn’t give him any memories back, for fear of screwing him up.”
Cheater ignored March and turned to Clown. “So... Rainbow. March has a one-track mind, as you can see.”
“Rainbow is in a disabled stable. Full ability block.”
“What does that mean?”
“It’s a very rare kind of cluster, where abilities don’t work. Or they only work in part. Neither players nor infecteds can reasonably use them. We become weaker there, but by losing their abilities, stronger ghouls lose basically every advantage they have. Including their armor. In a disabled cluster, an ordinary machine gun can take down a young elite without a problem. One burst to the head, and you’re done. Even the Nolds avoid such places, since they rely so much on their abilities. Players don’t like them, either. We grow reliant on these tricks of ours.”
“But there are people who live there,” Cheater pressed.
“Yes. Not everyone who lives there likes it, but they stay. People will live in shit, if they’re lazy enough. Little more than cockroaches. So, a disabled cluster has pros and cons. There are no mentats there, for example. Nearly anyone can show up and say they’re an honest person—and there’s no disproving their statements. As long as the person isn’t well known, they can say whatever they like about themselves. For some, Rainbow is the only chance on the Continent to interact with decent people. It’s like a carnival. Everyone can wear a mask. Not a very fun carnival, though.”
“I don’t see any particular drawbacks yet,” Cheater said thoughtfully. “What’s wrong with a place the Nolds and beasts hate to wander?”
“Someone can set up an MLRS rocket launcher fifteen miles out, fire a volley, and kill half the town. Neither defensive abilities nor warning abilities will help the inhabitants. And there just aren’t enough people to control all of the ways in. That would require a whole army, and a well-equipped one. Who wants to fund an army just to protect a single stable? It would have far more soldiers than civilians. Not to keep the infecteds out, but to keep people with long-range weapons out. Make a serious enemy, and you get wrecked by mortars and missiles, with no reasonable chance of defending yourself. The locals could all perish at the slightest provocation. But these potential opponents also cannot gain a foothold in Rainbow, for the same reasons. Therefore, the stable remains entirely neutral. No sides, no politics. Best not even to mention anything political while we’re there. You drop this or that sentiment, or insult this or that person, and someone snipes you dead from long range. It’s happened before, and it always ends badly. Everybody knows this by now, and the locals have learned to keep to their own affairs. It’s a neutral zone. Not one bit of this fiasco with the Devils can touch Rainbow. They frown deeply on that sor
t of thing. So we’ll just walk in nice and quietly and do what we have to do, and be gone.”
