by Arthur Stone
Diseases: no known diseases.
Bound items: Bow of Depletion, from the Black Caster, Bow from Watershed; Killynilly, AS50 Rifle; Sievemaker, SIG Sauer P226 Pistol; Choppa, sword; Bighead, necklace; Manhandler, bracelet; Thanks Nolds!, Elite Nold control bracelet (not activated).
His Humanity had been significantly reduced. Benz’s people, it had seemed, were far from red. The System had punished him significantly for arranging their deaths.
And he had been so close to twenty-five thousand. That would mean a new hero level and more perks and bonuses.
Powerful perks. Based on experience, that level’s perks would be much better than those from the level before.
Now was not the time, though, to lament his Humanity loss. Even reading the summary of injuries threatened to add heart attack to the list, so Cheater did not look into the details. He could not heal on his own. Perhaps he could survive if taken to the ICU immediately. Or they might as well just take him straight to the morgue.
He did have medicine on him, however. Excellent medicine. After experiencing the healing of a golden regeneration core, Cheater always kept one on him. His financial situation had allowed this luxury.
However, it had a very long cooldown period. He had taken the last one just after the battle in the Devils’ fortress. Since then, eight full days had passed.
The cooldown was ten.
Taking anything before its cooldown could result in terrible consequences. Perhaps you would receive the intended effect, but it had a very good chance of killing you, too.
It was not the best option.
What else could he do? Die slowly in the swamp shallows? Put a bullet in his head?
Flounder his way out?
He opened his chat window with his previous companion, whom he had left underground, and began writing—ignoring the many previous messages received. Beetle had scribbled them in confusion, with no idea what was going on.
Cheater:
Beetle, how’s the situation there? Do you see the building? Is Benz still fighting them back?
Beetle:
Doesn’t look like it. It’s overrun. I’ve never seen that many ghouls in my life. In all my lives. There hasn’t been any shooting for a long time. How did you survive?
Cheater:
Flew away. Helicopter.
Beetle:
That was you? I saw that but couldn’t make out any details. Are you coming back for me?
Cheater:
I would love to. But the copter is in pieces now. I jumped out, into some kind of swamp, and broke basically everything. Now I’m just lying here, covered in frogs.
Beetle:
Shit. What do we do now?
Cheater:
We can come up with something. Are there any ghouls near you?
Beetle:
No, they headed for the skyscraper. Then, the whole crowd went for the smoke. It looks like something’s on fire up on the First Steppe. Now that you mention it, it must be your fallen copter. It’s drawing them. So they’re probably stuck against the steppe’s wall. They’re too dumb to climb it. And those who are smart are too smart to enter the Trinity’s turf.
Cheater:
Can you climb the steppe?
Beetle:
Now? I can, but it’s a massive risk. Some infecteds are still lurking around near the ramp tower. If one sees me, I’m done. And it’s not easy to climb a skyscraper unnoticed. In something like ten minutes, though, I should be able to. More and more are following the smoke.
Cheater:
Then wait until then. I’ll try contacting my party.
He doubted he could. The inaccurate maps he had purchased show black and gray clusters throughout the area. The party had not had time to get far, but there was no guarantee he would reach them.
He ran a glance over the unread messages. There was nothing important, but they had tried to contact him a few times. The last attempt was ten minutes past.
That was reassuring.
Cheater:
Hi March. How are you?
March:
Not so good. The cold beer is gone. Only warm cans left. Supplies are running low. This place is shitty. Shouldn’t have come. What about you?
Cheater:
I just fell out of a helicopter.
March:
And you’re alive. Figures.
Clown:
I need details. Details!
Cheater:
The helicopter was shot down. It crashed somewhere, farther from the edge. I jumped out and broke pretty much everything.
March:
Lucky.
Cheater:
Yeah. The luckiest. I’m sure you know the joke. Missing: dog. Male. 7 years old. Toothless, missing one leg, missing tail, missing right ear and left eye, burn scars on belly. Answers to the name Lucky.
Clown:
That’s the oldest joke in the book.
March:
Yeah, it goes back a ways. Pretty sure there’s a version of that drawn on the walls of the pyramids. How’s your vision, Cheat? Can you see?
Cheater:
Yeah, I have both my eyes intact.
March:
Then open them and look around. Is there any cold beer nearby?
Cheater:
Well, there’s some gourmet French cuisine here, so come on over. Lots of it. Ribbiting and croaking all around. No beer, though. But I won’t make it on my own, March. Can you come for me? I need Maple’s help.
March:
Autocorrect getting touchy with the censoring, Nipple’s really not that bad. How about you just respawn? Easy way out. Fine, fine, I’m kidding. You missed your chance at that, and you’re more use to us alive. We have a tight schedule though, Cheat. We’re already behind. I can send Nipple your way, but I can’t come myself. She’ll heal you, and you two can meet me at a point I’ll mark on your map. I’ll send you a screenshot of a decent map. It’s not far. You wait there while we take care of some important business.
Cheater:
What business?
March:
I hate chatting. You’ll understand later. Just do it. Relax. Help will come soon.
Cheater:
Soon? This place is dangerous. Millions of ghouls. Maple won’t make it on her own.
March:
I can see you on the map. Edge of a reservoir. The local ghouls are probably all heading to the crash smoke. I can see it from here, even though it’s dark. There’s only one flock up above, and it does not tolerate any competition. Just lie still and quiet and you’ll be fine.
Cheater:
Sounds fishy. This is the border. Nowhere is safe.
March:
Stubborn as always. If I say it’s safe, it’s safe. But answer a question for me. Was that helicopter flying high up when it started coming down?
Cheater:
Not very. A hundred feet, maybe. Hundred and fifty. Above the steppe.
March:
Did you have time to look around from that height? Maybe you saw some cold beer somewhere?
Cheater:
Oh fuck off.
March’s explanations communicated something to Cheater. For some reason, the man was certain that things were nearly safe here, close to the border itself. He was ignoring the presence of three terrifying monsters.
Either the boss was sick in the head or he knew a lot more about these places than Cheater did. The fact that he had high-quality maps led him to favor the second option.
In addition, none of the clusters Cheater had crossed into while flying had counted as a discovery. His Cartography had not risen at all. So someone had been in each of them before. That meant that, yes, March very likely had found maps with high levels of detail.
And some exclusive first-person accounts.
An order was an order. He would lie still and silent.
It would be excruciatingly painful to do otherwise, of course.
Am amphibian with yellowish-gray skin in a checkbo
ard pattern climbed atop his warm human chest, froze, and began carefully watching the frogs’ concert. Cheater endured this impudence without sound or movement.
As he scrolled through the party chat again, he frowned, and then opened his map and looked at the dispersion of the party members. He watched one of them break off from the group and head his way.
Three, actually—not just one.
His idea he had put forward in the party chat had taken hold. After all, it was readable by every member of the party.
The situation was more complicated now, and Cheater had asked for Maple to be accompanied. He would lie here, warming the snakes and tolerating the ribbit rondos. But an ordinary human would have long ago been pecked apart by carrion birds. Cheater had survived because he was a player, and a well-developed player, at that.
He hoped his comrades reached him before the swamp beasts began nibbling.
Chapter 30
Life Nine. Personnel Management
The incoming help was in no hurry. It took them more than four hours to cross the five miles between them. He got the impression that they were stalling on purpose, hoping he would die a painful death. Everyone knew that his intensely blinking icon meant he was in exquisitely bad shape. That death was drawing near.
He lived on.
It was a cheerless existence, but he lived on.
The mud chilled his back, and the sun baked his front. Thirst began to consume him. He had no water on him, and he was not yet to the point where muddy swamp water was attractive. He did have a small, flat vial of spec. With difficulty he reached it, the pain of doing so nearly driving consciousness away from him. He fiddled with the lid for an extended time, his fingers refusing to comply. Half of it splashed out as his shaking fingers moved it to his mouth, but he sipped the rest—and began to cough and convulse violently.
Perhaps that was for the best. No infecteds were close enough to hear, but the commotion scared the frogs and snakes, causing them to keep their distance for quite some time.
Those four hours were an eternity of agony. When at last he heard the footsteps in the water and the stifled sounds of swearing, he could hardly believe his ears. The map showed that help was here, yes, but his tortured mind had trouble believing it, or even comprehending it.
He wanted to slap his cheeks and make his mind work again. His limbs were unable to do so. Yet his mind had to be as clear as it could be now. He forced himself into focus.
Gangrene—or Gang, as he now knew, loomed over Cheater and blocked out the sun.
He grimaced. “What a tenacious bastard.” Crouching down, he drew the helpless man’s pistol from its holster and twirled it in his hand, spat, and tossed the weapon into the water. “Bound, like I said.”
“He’s a rich man,” Goblin replied. “The rest is ours, though.”
“Dreaming of taking my pants off, then, are you?” Cheater chuckled. “Nothing else of value is available for your collection.”
“Oh, he can talk!” Gangrene grinned maliciously.
“I’ll give you fools one chance,” Cheater replied. “Heal me. And ask my forgiveness for the lies that you told us. I won’t forget everything, but we are a team. We have our issues, but we’re a team nonetheless. Since we agreed to cross the border, we will do our best to ensure that everyone makes it. Including you assholes. We’re honest people, when people are honest with us.”
“You think we’re stupid?” Gangrene prodded. “You called Nipple ‘Maple’ in the party chat. You know everything. And not just you personally. When did you find out? Who blew our cover? Nut? Well, how did he find out, then?”
“Hah! You go and ask Nut what side of the sky the sun rises on, and he won’t be able to tell you. Actually, I don’t know everything. I don’t know any details. But I know the gist of it.”
“Then you die,” Gangrene showed his teeth and reached for his knife.
“We all die,” Cheater replied serenely, “but you’re mistaken about Nut and the others. Only I know who you really are. The others are unaware of the details.”
“Meaning your whole stupid gang will know. You could tell them right now, using the chat. We don’t give a damn. We kill you, we move on, we make it to the border. March is planning something shady, but he said there won’t be any ghouls on this side of the lake. He was right. We didn’t see a single one on the way here. There won’t be any more between this place and the crossing. We’ll make it without needing you morons to help us. I could, of course, not kill you. After all, I don’t give a damn about you. I don’t even have a reason to hate you. You held your tongue about us, so here, Nipple will patch you up. Not completely, but enough that you can walk. You’ll manage to limp over to your rendezvous with March. No monsters between here and there. Of course, you know that favors don’t come free. I’m sure your inventory is stocked up like a bank vault. See where I’m heading? Go on. Capture my interest. And capture it well. The more interested I am, the more Nipple here will heal you. So now, buy yourself some good health!”
Cheater’s voice remained distant, impassive. “You keep calling her Nipple. Even now, with me and with no one else around. Why?”
“You haven’t seen her undisguised. So you don’t know what a gorgeous mouth she has. And a productive mouth. Our girl only opens her mouth when there’s profit to be made. And I don’t mean she opens it to talk. Without me, everyone who walked by would force her to open wide. Or open small, in your case. She has no idea how wonderful her gift from the System is, and how much she can do with it. Life on a bed of roses is well within her grasp, but instead, she lets everyone manhandle her!”
Tired of this subject, Cheater asked, “Gang, aren’t you afraid I’ll hunt you down?”
“You’ve got much bigger fish to fry. And who’s to stop me from going further east? Or heading up north? This is a big Continent, and healers are always in demand. We’ll find someone willing to take us.”
He pulled Maple towards himself, stroking her hair with mock tenderness—then, grimacing with disgust, pushed her away so hard that the girl splashed into the muddy water.
“Take a bath now, dirty sow,” Gang ordered her before turning back to Cheater. “She’s no one on her own. Without a firm hand to guide her, she’ll be lost. She can’t even bathe herself!”
“What holds you two together?” Cheater wondered.
Gang chuckled. “Not our great love for each other, I can assure you of that. I have Goblin for that. Although I’m sure you know his name’s not really Goblin.”
“Bling,” Cheater replied.
“Yes. He’s incredible with women. So he handles her. I’m not a fan of women myself. Smelly and stupid creatures.”
“Such a tolerant person.”
“The hell do you mean? I’m gay, you know, if you haven’t figured that out. How’s that I am intolerant?”
“Gay?” Cheater shook his head. “That’s not what they call your type. You’re into little boys. Digi boys. They told me all about it. You’re rotten, Gang, through and through.”
“You know a lot of things, I see. But it’s time to bring this to a close. Pay up, or die. They say you carry things you looted from the Unnamed One. Let’s see something.”
“Maple, you’re not as dumb as you put on,” Cheater smiled as he sent instructions via chat. “But you are, Gang. Stupidest player I’ve met yet. And a pedo besides. Moron and moral monster, rolled into one. Goodbye.”
A splash rang out nearby, and a machinegun followed. It was an expensive weapon, designed for silent killings. So its shots were given away more by the clicking and clanging of the gun’s internals than by the shots themselves.
Gang shuddered as his head lost some of its own internals into the water. The scoundrel’s body bent back as if trying a gymnast’s bridge, and then crashed into the reeds. He fell silent. Less than a second later, Bling fell on top of him. This bastard did not die immediately: he wheezed and gurgled, choking with blood, but no longer posed a threat.
Maple was dumbfounded by the sudden demise of her dubious friends and covered her mouth with both hands. Her legs buckled, and she crouched down awkwardly into the silt.
Footsteps approached.
Cheater knew who was coming: Beetle. The tankman’s lips had spread into a broad smile. A faint wisp of smoke escaped the barrel of his gun. “How are you, Cheater? Feeling okay?”
“How do I look?”
“You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, Beetle, I’m doing fine.”
