I look around the clubhouse, seeing Trick on the couch, staring right at me. I walk over to sit on the opposite couch, making myself comfortable with my tequila in hand.
“If you’re going to lecture me, don’t bother.” I grumble out at him.
He runs his hand over his beard and chuckles. “No. I was gonna tell you to share that shit. I haven’t had a decent shot of tequila in years.”
I stand up, cross the few feet between us and hand the bottle over to him. He throws his head back, and holding the bottle high, pours a double straight into his mouth. He swallows and hands it back to me. “What’s eating at you? We all know what tequila is for: drowning sorrows or hiding. Which is it for you?”
I take a swig, and shrug. “Hiding I guess.”
“What could a girl like you be hiding from?” Trick doesn’t know the half of it. He wasn’t around when I arrived.
I can choose to be lighthearted- make a joke even, but I won’t. “I’m hiding from the truth.”
The biker before me looks older than his years. Not in an entirely bad way. His face shows he’s lived through a lot and I don’t really think that much of it was good.
“I’ve been there buttercup, and one piece of advice I can give you is that no matter what, the truth will always be there. Coping with it sure as fuck isn’t easy, but drinking away your pain can only lasts for so long. Trust me, I did my time.”
“What was your poison?”
He doesn’t even blink as I ask. “Bourbon.”
“Good choice, but tequila is better,” I say with a wry smile.
“Depends on the night, and what you’re hiding from. Bourbon did the trick for me. Tequila was always a good backup.”
I nod, understanding.
“What truth were you hiding from?” I ask Trick, twirling the bottle of tequila back and forth in my hand.
He laughs, laugh and I can tell that this makes him uncomfortable. I can see the confirmation when I look in his eyes. Trick drops his gaze. “I was hiding from myself, sweetheart. From all the things I had done, all the people I had hurt. When I was young...let’s just say I fucked up a bit.”
I take the tequila and give myself another shot, passing the bottle back to Trick. “No one is perfect, we may try to be, but no one is. We all fuck up.”
“Yeah, we do, but not as much as I have.”
The two of us sit in complete silence for a few minutes before I muster up the courage to speak. I know that if I don’t say it now, I’ll keep holding it in, and all of the anger that comes along with it. “I found out that my father bargained his own safety over mine and my sister’s. The one man who is supposed to protect us, fed us to a piranha in bloody water.”
“Sounds like you have a shitty Dad.” He’s right. I do have a shitty Dad. I just never knew it was too late. I lean my head back and stare up at the ceiling, losing myself in my dark thoughts.
“What are you thinking about?” Trick asks.
“I’m just wondering what I will do to him when I see him.”
“Do you want to see him?” Trick’s question is valid. Why would I want to see him after finding out he betrayed Camila and me?
“I want to look him in the eyes and find out why he handed us over on a silver platter. I deserve those answers, and then...”
“Then?” He questions.
“Then I don’t know what I’ll do. I haven’t made up my mind yet. All I know is that I will see my father again, and I will ask him why.” As I reposition myself, I see Trick nod. He may not know my entire story, but he understands. “How is Angel?”
“Seems to be fine. Checked in on her a little bit ago, and she’s gonna hate me tomorrow. Fuck...” He wipes his hand across his face. “She’s going to hate me for a long time, until the day she’s clean.”
“What do you mean?” I don’t understand what he means. I know that Angel has had a rough past with drugs, but I don’t see how she could hate him so quickly.
His eyebrows shoot up before he speaks, “I may have tied her hands and legs to the bed, so there’s no way in hell she can dart out here before that poison is out of her system.”
“You tied her up!?”
Trick gives me a knowing look, almost like I should have expected him to go to this extreme. “She’s been on drugs for years, sweetheart. I wasn’t fuckin’ around earlier when I told your boyfriend that Angel is my girl. She’s my property, my ol’lady, and finally my responsibility. It’s my job to look out for her and make sure that she gets clean, that she stays safe. Maybe when all of this is said and done, me and Angel can be something. She’s the type of woman to keep me on my toes and I need that. It doesn’t hurt that she’s a looker either, you know.” He smirks at the end, and in this moment I realize that this is something Trick wants.
He doesn’t just want to help her.
He wants her.
I already like this man, and this warms my heart to him a little more. When Angel gets clean I hope that she will consider being with him. Lord knows she doesn’t understand our life, and I highly doubt she will be okay with suddenly having an instant a husband....but at the end of the day she doesn’t have a choice. She belongs to Trick whether she wants to or not.
Chapter 11
“You’re always one decision from a totally different life.”
- Anonymous
Chaos
“Pain told me what you said to him.” Maria’s angry voice doesn’t startle me. She has this nifty habit of showing up wherever I am, out of the blue like a damned ghost. It’s my fault though, I’m in Bubba’s, sitting in a booth in the back. I thought my presence wasn’t known but obviously I’m wrong.
I glance up to her briefly, “So?”
“So, culo, we should talk about that.” She growls it out, sliding into the booth across from me. I take a good look at her, wondering where the hell her drink is. Whenever we’re about to have a serious discussion she has a drink. This time her hands are empty.
“What are you waiting for?” Maria insists, her tone salty as hell. I just wanna wrap my hand around her throat and ask her who the hell it is that she thinks she’s talking to.
“You to get your ass up and get us a drink.”
She rolls her eyes, “If I wanted to be drinking I’d already have one. As for you, you have two legs and hands. Get it yourself.”
“You’re in quite the mood, Taquita.” I grumble, crossing my arms.
She scoffs, “Why shouldn’t I be? Pain told me what you said, about how I am yours and you’re just sharing me with him. We both know that’s bullshit. I’m not yours. I’m with both of you.”
“Is that so?” I sneer, gritting my teeth, clenching my fists on top of the table. “You’re not mine? Is that really what you think?”
“Yes. I belong to the both of you.”
“Maria.” I tsk, “You don’t belong to him, and you’d better get that through your head now. I was the one to slam you up against the wall and take you. I was the one who told you that you were mine, and you...you... slutty little bitch agreed. After we shared those words is when I allowed my brother into what we had. Do you understand me?”
Maria closes her eyes, breathing heavily through her nose before she looks back at me. “Si. I understand that you are a selfish, bastard of a man. You want me all to yourself, even if that’s not what I want. I want both of you. Everyone believes I belong to the both of you, because I do! I am not just yours.”
“Before you say another word, you’d better think about it.” I slide out of the booth and stand up, pulling my jacket close against me. “Someone else will be here to close the bar tonight. I wouldn’t want either of us to say something in the heat of the moment, now would we.”
I don’t bother waiting for her to respond. I grab her by the back of the hair and yank her until she yelps, slamming my lips against her. I’m this kind of bastard, the one that no matter what, will always kiss her. No matter how pissed I get, how angry she makes me, she will never for one secon
d doubt how much I care.
I tear away from her and charge out the door, hopping on my bike, I tear out of the parking lot and let the cool air hit me. It’s no match though, there’s nothing that will cool me down in this moment. Absolutely nothing.
I told Pain in the hopes he would decide to back off and let me be happy with Maria, but instead it looks like he’s choosing to stick around. It’s only going to do one thing, hurt the relationship that we have with each other as brothers, and tear one of us from the woman we love. I had my eyes on Maria since the first moment she entered the club, he didn’t even fucking like her when she was first here. I should’ve been smarter and claimed her back then, officially. Trick was smart, laying claim to my sister so there’s no doubt. Me? I hold a lot of regrets for not doing something sooner, for not...securing my relationship with her. Anything can happen and it’s no one else’s fault besides my own.
***
I ride around for ages in the hopes that it will end up calming me down, but it doesn’t. My frustrations just spew around in my mind on a constant loop.
If Pain and I end up hating each other – it’s my fault.
If she chooses him over me – it’s my fuckin’ fault.
I think about what I should have done, could have done and would have done if I wasn’t so confident in myself. I should’ve been smarter, realizing that something like this would have been inevitable. Stupid on my part for thinking that it wouldn’t.
I pull up to the club parking lot, park my bike out front and dismount. It then hits me that I forgot to tell one of the brothers to go down to Bubba’s, shit. No point in texting them now, though. I walk through the front door, and the one person I don’t want to see is sitting on the couch talking to Trick.
“What the hell are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at Bubba’s closing up with the girls and making sure Mar’ gets home okay?” Reed roars at me. Shit, I feel like a kid who did something wrong.
“Supposed to be, Prez. Had to get some air. Figured someone else can close up tonight.” I mumble out. I’m already one foot in the grave. Dammit.
“Pain, go to Bubba’s and make sure Maria gets back here okay.” Reed orders to my brother and I sigh lowly in relief. Thank fuck he’s sending Pain cause I don’t want to even look at him right now. I can’t look at him, not when he’s the one to blame for me probably losing the one woman I’ve ever had more interest in then just getting my dick wet.
Pain gets up from his seat, sending me a shooting glare. “I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you, compromising her safety like this.”
“Enough. I’ll deal with your brother.” Reed snaps, and just like that Pain leaves to go down to Bubba’s. I’m sure she’s going to explain everything in full detail to him. He’s the emotional one after all, I’m the stern one. We’re two totally different men so I don’t even understand how she wants to belong to both of us. Pain and I may be brothers, but we can’t be more different.
“What the fuck has gotten into you?” Reed spits, and I can’t do anything but take it.
“Sorry, Prez. I wasn’t thinkin’ clearly. I should’ve texted someone to head over to Bubba’s and waited before I left.”
“Damn right you should have. It’s not like we don’t have a fuckton of other shit going on right now. Threats are coming at us from every direction, shit! Threats are directly being made towards your girl and you just fucking leave her there to fend for herself!?”
“Maria isn’t my girl, she made that shit clear tonight.” I snarl back at him, my anger seeping out of me.
“What?”
“Maria belongs to both Pain and I, apparently.”
“That doesn’t mean she isn’t your girl.”
“Doesn’t it? She doesn’t fucking want me. She wants both of us and I don’t know how the hell I’m supposed to deal with that shit.”
“Did she ever have an option to be with just you, or did you throw her into whatever the fuck it is you three are doing?” Enzo interrupts. I flip him the bird, showing him that his input isn’t needed.
Reed continues to glare at me, “Maria is both your and Pain’s responsibility. That is obvious to all of us here. No other brother has gone near Maria because the two of you have both made it clear as day that she is yours. Both of yours. I don’t know how you’re gonna clean this shit up but you’d better, and soon.”
I nod, not saying a word.
“And Chaos, if you ever do something as irresponsible and selfish as this again, I will 86 you faster than you can blink. I’ll strip that patch from you and kick you out of this club. You didn’t just risk Maria tonight, you risked all of the Russian Dolls,” Reed tells me, and I know he’s right.
I made a bigger mistake then Pain ever did. What I did tonight was so much worse. I’m just lucky that Reed didn’t 86 me.
I damn well know how close I was.
Chapter 12
“You get into the biggest fights with people you care about the most, because those are relationships worth fighting for.”
- Curiano.com
Maria
He just stood up looking like an enraged fool and then kissed the daylights out of me before he
I’m still dazed by the intensity of Chaos’ kiss. He walked out of here, leaving me breathless in the booth. I sat there for ten minutes, more confused than I have been in my entire life. I thought I knew where we stood as a unit, the three of us. Now, I couldn’t be more lost.
I’m terrified, scared out of my mind because I don’t think that Chaos is going to let this go. He’s going to try to force my hand, force me to choose. It’s a choice that I can’t make...that I won’t make. If I can’t be with both of them then. I refuse to be with either of them. I won’t hurt one and be with the other.... I need both of them, and they both need me...or at least I thought they did.
I’m jolted back to reality at the sound of my phone buzzing on the table. Picking it up I realize that it’s been far longer then ten minutes. I really got lost in the moment, or rather lost in my own head I suppose. Daisy’s name lights up the screen, and I answer.
“Hey”
“Hi. Are you okay? Seamus just texted me. He was down at the club and Chaos rolled in. What the hell happened? He just left you and the Dolls there like that?”
I sigh, “Yeah. He did. We got into it. I guess. I’m not really sure what to make of what happened.”
“What do you mean?”
“Chaos is insisting that I am his girl, and not Pain’s.”
“Oh.” Just like that, Daisy knows exactly why this is a problem. I don’t even have to elaborate. “Well, uh- Pain should be there any second cause Reed sent him to close up with you.”
“Of course he did. He wouldn’t send anyone else, would he?” I grumble. The last thing I need right now is to talk to Pain. What I need is time to process. Sending Pain here is just going to jumble my head up even more and make me more confused.
“Maria.” Daisy’s voice sounds chiding and maternal. Her tone is so close to what my mother’s. For a moment I let my heart wonder what she would have said to me in this moment if she were alive. Daisy interrupts my thoughts, “Reed only sent Pain because he knew that you’d need him. Why else do you think he would? Who else would comfort you after your fight with one of your boyfriends then your other boyfriend? If he sent Trick to comfort you that would be a little awkward, considering he’s basically your brother in law.”
“Pain and Chaos are not my ol’ men,” I point out, running my hand along my forearm. I wouldn’t mind if they were. I’d prefer it to be honest. Then everyone would know their place and how much they are needed in my life
“Not yet, but one day they will be. You won’t have this stupid girlfriend status for long. It’s obvious that they both love you.” Before I can even have a moment to disagree with Daisy the front door bursts open and Pain’s eyes instantly catch mine. The look on his face shows me how worried he is.
“I have to go. Pain just got h
ere.” I tell Daisy in the receiver.
“Okay. If you need to talk later know I’m here.”
“Thanks.” I say before ending the call. Pain rushes over, a man on a mission. He doesn’t even acknowledge Polina or any of the girls behind the bar.
“You okay?” His face is full of concern.
I look at him and gnaw on the bottom of my lip, struggling to lie to him. I want to tell him that I’m okay, that he doesn’t need to worry...but I’m not okay. I feel like I’m going to lose both of them, like it’s already happening before my eyes and I can’t do anything to prevent it. “No,” is all I can manage to get out. He slides into the booth next to me and pulls me up onto his lap, pressing his lips to my hair.
“It’s okay, baby. It’s all gonna be okay.”
“You don’t know that it will,” I point out tearfully, “neither of us do.” I’m holding on to his cut and jacket with all the life in me. I remember the last time someone told me everything was going to be okay. It was the night I found out my father had pissed off Rafael. The night he betrayed us He told me not to worry, that everything was going to be okay. I refuse to be that silly, naive little girl.
not even the words coming from his lips soothe me. How could they? He doesn’t even believe them himself.
Chapter 13
“Love me or hate me, both are in my favor...If you love me, I’ll always be in your heart...If you hate me, I’ll always be in your mind.” – William Shakespeare
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