by Lake, Rae B.
"No!" I scream and grab Clean by the collar. I pull him away with one hand and swing my gun up with the other. I close my eyes as I squeeze the trigger. I don't need to watch the bullet go through his body. My shattered heart knows the second that it does.
Vale's body drops to the floor with a thud, and I can't breathe. It feels like all the air has been drained out of the clubhouse, and I fall on top of him and let the tears pour from my eyes.
"Oh no, what did I do?" I crawl to him and grab at his chest as the blood starts to bloom like a morbid flower on his shirt. "Vale, wait. I'm sorry. Please. I'm sorry."
I don't know when the gunshots stop or the lights came back on, but when I look back up at his face, I can see it clearly. The evil motherfucker I couldn't stand is no longer there. I can only see my brother.
"Vale, I'm so fucking sorry."
There are a few people surrounding me, but I don't even bother to look up to see if they are friend or foe. If someone were to blow my fucking face off right now, I would deserve it.
"Storm." Vale wheezes, and I move to be by his head so that I can talk to him one last time.
One last time, what the fuck do I say to him now that I know it's going to be the last time I talk to him?
"You’re the better twin. Always have been. This is your family. You protect them as you protected me."
I back away, not expecting him to say that shit.
"Vale, I'm sorry. I should have tried fucking harder. I'm sorry." I apologize over and over.
"Nothing to forgive. You set me free. I love you."
"Vale, I love you."
"Oh, no." I hear Duo, but she doesn't come any closer, or does she? I can't tell.
"I'll keep your bike ready." Vale gives me a pained smile before his head drops to the side and his body goes limp.
"No, no, fuck no." I grab onto his collar, and I shake him. I'm not ready. We can try something else. "Vale, you piece of shit!" I shake him harder, and I feel people tugging me away.
"Come on, brother. Come on." Ink wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me back, but I don't let go of Vale. It feels like half of my body is dying. They are ripping me apart.
"Storm, he's gone. Don't mess with him."
The pain in my back is nothing to what I feel in my soul.
It takes a few minutes, but they manage to pull me off and then put their arms around me, all my shattered pieces being molded back together with the arms of my brothers.
I sit on the side of the stairs while my brothers work on cleaning up the mess. There was a lot of destruction outside, but Vale didn't have many people with him. A couple of gangsters I've never seen before, and a few bikers in Spawns of Chaos rags, but the most notable victims are Jimbo and Webber. Both of them long-time riders with Rooster and the Spawns. I knew Vale had ties with them, but I didn't think it was so deep they’d try and take the entire club out. The bad blood between the two clubs must really run deep.
"What the fuck! Is he dead?" Maven screams, and she storms over to us. I look where the rest of the women are, and they are all huddled together crying. I thought they’d be afraid of Vale or maybe even the Spawns on the floor, but they are all staring at the gangbangers I didn't know, and from the look on Clean's face, he doesn't know who they were either.
"Yeah, he's dead. Babe, what are you doing?" He puts his hands out to stop her from making any further progress, but she fights against him, trying to get to the dead man.
"You piece of shit!" She screams and kicks her legs out, trying to hit him.
"Maven, stop." Clean pulls her away, but she breaks free again like a crazed animal.
"They raped them," Duo explains, and Jazmine walks out of her arms and over to the side of another one of the already dead men. She screams before she begins kicking and stomping on the still body.
Siren just watches from where she is, her eyes not one leaving one dead man in particular.
The women beat on the dead bastards until they fall in exhaustion, and their men pick them up and cradle them to their chests. I can see everything that’s going on, but I can't move. My body refuses to let me react to what’s going on. I want to shake it off, but right now, nothing matters besides the fact my brother is lying on the floor with a gunshot to the chest from my gun. I killed my twin brother. I can't focus on anything besides that.
Even when the alarm starts to go off and everyone begins running around again thinking there is another wave, I can't move.
If I get shot, fuck it.
The front door opens, and everyone points their guns in that direction.
"Well, this was so very entertaining, but I think it's time we make our way home." A tall, well-dressed man with blond hair and bright gold eyes stands in the middle of three armed guards. They are all stoic and prepared, in perfect formation, and they look like they’ve been trained their entire lives to kill motherfuckers. Goddamn mafia. "Dagger, kill that one." He points to me, and I still don't move. I guess I’m going for that ride with Vale sooner than I thought. I'm good with that.
* * *
"Tata! No. No. Please. Pockat. Please." Duo jumps in front of me. "Just wait one second and listen to me."
"Daughter, there’s nothing for me to listen to. He wronged the family; he dies." The strong Croatian accent makes what he is saying hard to understand, but I’m actually a bit more impressed with hearing Duo speak Croatian. I’m assuming the man in the middle is Liam Juric. He looks like his brother, Keeley’s father, Marko Juric.
“Spasio mi je život, without him, I’d be in a basement somewhere being raped or worse. He saved me, Tata. Please.”
The rest of my brothers come to stand by me. The only Croatian I do know is Sven, and he’s staring at Wire. The look on his face is one of disappointment.
“Fine, it seems I owe you a thanks then. My daughter says you saved her life. Thank you, I will not kill you for your transgressions. Orza, idemo,” Liam Juric puts his hand out for his daughter, but she still doesn’t move.
“I can’t, Tata. I want to stay with him. I’m safe now. Just let me stay.” She asks and reaches back for my hand. I do my best to get to my feet and support her. I want her to stay as well.
“No. Let’s go.” He doesn’t even give it a chance; he walks over to where she is, grabs her free hand, and pulls at her. I hold onto her, not wanting to admit she’s about to be ripped out of my life too. I just lost my brother, and now they will try and take her away as well. I can't take it.
"Tata, no. I'm staying with him." She pulls against him, and he reaches up with force and grabs her face, squeezing her cheeks. I do my best not to react, but the fact his hands are on her face enrages me. Wire holds on to the back of my pants out of their sight. The mob are not people I want to square up against.
"You think I'm going to let you throw your life away from some broken-down biker? You think I would let that happen? I know the type of men this group is. They will destroy you. If you need further proof of that, why don't you go see your cousin Keeley?" He snaps at her, and now I have to keep Wire back.
"You know where my wife is? Tell me." He growls, and then Sven takes a few steps in our direction.
"Keeley is safe, but she asks we don't divulge her location. Sorry, Dillon." He says, and Wire has no choice but to back off. There’s nothing he can do. There is no one he can fight. I can feel the tension rolling off him.
"They are good people, please." She asks again through her squeezed mouth.
"No. Don't ask again. You are pissing me off, Orza. Now get your ass outside now." He looks at me, waiting for me to go against him. I watch the guards he has with him. Sven, I know, Kaja I've seen before, and this new one I don't know he called Dagger. All of them are waiting for me to do something they’d consider disrespectful so they could pump me full of bullets. I look at Duo one last time before I let her go.
"Storm! No." Her head turns back to my face. She wasn't expecting me to let go. She doesn't deserve to be a part of this fight or go throug
h this. I brought her here to get her safe, and I knew what her father would do. I don't deserve the happiness she brought to my life, even if I do love her. Even if protecting her is ingrained into what is left of my soul, I don't deserve her.
"It's ok, Dewdrop. You're safe now." I try to encourage her.
"I don't want to be safe; I want to be with you." She cries, and I wish I can just take all the pain away. I want her to be happy, to see her smile. I can't do that now.
They pull her, and within a few seconds, she is out of the clubhouse, and my world is numb all over again.
They say it's better to love and to have lost than never to have loved at all. Fuck them and fuck all that. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
I listen to the cars start in the driveway, looking around at all the destruction around me, and I just can't deal. My brothers don't stop me when I walk by all of them and go to my room. I fought so hard to get home to my family, but it feels like they’ve all been ripped out of my life.
It's the second day I've stared at the sleeping pills and the alcohol in the center of my floor.
Everything has changed. I miss Wire. I miss Prez. I miss my brother. I miss Duo. There is nothing I can do that will ease this hurt. Death seems to be the only answer. I was ready to die before but was spared. I don't want to be spared; I want it to end.
It's just a few pills and few bottles of alcohol. Nothing too serious, and then it would all be over.
I haven't moved for two days. The boys have come in and out and left food for me. They tried to shake me out of it. They have spoken with me. Even had Pope come in here and pray with me, but nothing has changed my mind.
I want to fucking die. This might seem like a pussy way to go, but at least I know it will be absolute.
The door opens, and it's Angel.
Definitely not the person I thought I’d see right now. She is a pre-teen already and very mature. I guess being tortured and abused for most of her life made her grow up fast.
"Uncle Storm. Are you ok?"
"I'm fine Angel, go ahead and go back to Ink." I try to shoo her away.
"I don't think you’re doing ok. I think you're lost and in pain. Are you in pain?" She asks, her small voice sweet and so innocent.
I don't want to be spilling my heart to a little girl, but something about how she sits next to me and the way she seems so calm causes my walls to crash down. "Yeah, Angel, I hurt. I know you hated Vale, but he was my twin brother. It hurts."
"I didn't hate him. He was lost too. I know it. If he could have found his way out, he would have come home too, but it was too much for him. There was nothing that you or anyone else could have done to fix it." She crosses her legs in front of her and rocks back and forth, playing with the dirt on the floor.
"Yeah? When did you get so smart?"
“Oh, you know me." She smiles and tilts her head from side to side, not looking back at me. "Uncle Storm, don't you want to find your way back?"
What do I say to something like that? I thought that I had. I thought that by getting back to the Wings of Diablo, I had found my way home. But I am just as lost as I had been in the houseboat with my brother while he killed the fucking slut in front of me. "Yeah, Angel, I want to find my way back, but I don't think I can. I think I'm doomed like Vale."
She nods her head, not judging me at all, "You know Alex felt the same way too. He thought he didn't deserve to be forgiven, but then he met us, and he could see his path. He knew his family was the most important thing. It might have felt like you lost everything, but you didn't. Where is your path?"
I try to decipher what she’s trying to say. Where did the light shine the brightest in my life?
Duo.
She brought the very best out of me in every way, and I know she’s with her father, but I didn’t fight as hard as I should have. If I love her like I know I do, I should have convinced her father she should be with me or that I should be with her. I know our club has already hurt his family, but we do the very best that we fucking can. Angel is right. I have to go for Duo. Right now, she is my path.
"You think I need to go for Duo?"
"I don't know, Uncle Storm, but if you think you do, then I would say it's the right answer. You know, trust your instincts." She hops up from the floor and makes her way over to the door. "I'm happy your home, Storm. We weren't the same without you." She smiles at me and then disappears out of the room.
Did I just get advice from a little girl, and was it exactly what I needed to hear at that moment?
I pick up the bottle and pills and put them away. My suicide could wait until after I figure out what’s going on with Duo. I just need to get my president's approval, but I can't see him denying me though. I have an idea they all want Duo around as much as I do.
* * *
Two months later.
Clean used every connection he could to help me where he could. The trail ended back in Croatia until about two weeks ago, and then she popped up again in the States. At least that’s what we discovered through Cody and Spark up in Maine. They have been watching the international flights for me, so when she popped back up on the map, they let me know.
I was on the first flight to Vegas. I knew she’d be with her father, and there was a chance he’d kill me before I even had a chance to prove my case, but I had to try. I had to fight for her as I’d fight for my brother. I knew of only one location I thought she could be, and I stayed on my rented motorcycle every day, just staring at the front door to see if she would show up. After four days of stakeouts, only going into the hotel to wash and use the bathroom, I’m right back to waiting.
"There are better ways to get attention," a voice I don't recognize says from behind me. When I turn around, I can see the man they called Dagger standing there. Fucking hell, if I thought Mack was quiet, this motherfucker is a goddamn ghost. I know he’s part of the Juric family. I just don't know how far up the line he is.
"I'll get the attention any way I can." My voice is hoarse. It's been a while since I've talked to anyone. This is Vegas. People loiter all the time. No one bothered to stop me and ask me what I was doing.
"She's been here since you got here. Mr. Juric thought you’d have gone by now." He says and squints his eyes at me. "I told him I didn't think you were one to give up so easy."
"You’re right. I'll stay out here until the fucking building falls down if I have to."
"I know it, man." He puts out his hand for me to shake. "Dagger."
"Storm." I shake his hand and reply. The man looks generic. There’s nothing about him that stands out, but something tells me he is that way on purpose. The more generic the man, the easier it is for him to be forgotten.
"I think you've earned yourself an audience, though I don't think the audience will be as receptive as you’d like." He shrugs and moves back.
I step off my bike and think about what he’s saying. I wonder if that means they will shoot me the second I walk in the door.
"Liam or Duo?"
"That woman is spitting mad. I wouldn't want to have to talk to her, and I kill people for a living. She's scary." He shudders and starts walking toward the small building. It looks like there’s a bit of gambling going on when I first walk in. but there is a back door Dagger leads me through. We go down the stairs, and it is like a full complex down here. I've never seen anything like it.
"Come this way." Dagger walks in through the door, and before I can even get one full step into the door, Duo is rushing toward me. Those hypnotic eyes capture me before I can even notice the hand swinging up toward my face.
"You bastard! You have some fucking nerve coming here. Now you decide you want to fight for me? Now you think you really want me? You think I'm just going to wait for you? Fuck you, Storm! I hate you! I should’ve known it was nothing more for you."
I try to let her scream it out. She is mad. I could take that, but now, the shit coming out of her mouth is pissing me off.
"Hey!" I bark, my voice echoin
g off the walls of the small room. I look over her shoulder, and I can see quite a few people sitting down eating and watching the scene play out in front of them like it is a play. They may be amused right now, but I know if I step out of line or put my hand on her in any way, they will end my life without a second thought. I have to get my point across but still keep my head. "You know what you just said is bullshit. You and my club are everything to me. You are all I have. I let you go because I knew your father would protect you. I knew he would get you somewhere safe. I have no fucking claim on you, so there was nothing I could do to force him to let you stay with me. You don't deserve to be involved in my shit.”
“Shouldn’t that have been my decision, though? Shouldn’t you have figured out the same way I did what we had was worth fighting for?”
I grab her arms softly and am happy she doesn’t pull them away. “I couldn’t see through the smoke. I do now. You’re what I’m fighting for. You’re probably the only reason I’m still here.” I don’t want to tell her she is the only thing keeping me from offing myself, but she is.
“Storm, I needed you.” Her voice is soft, and she clings on to me.
“I needed you. I just didn’t realize I did. I still need you.” I push one of her curls out of her face and watch her eyebrow hitch up in that way she does. Drives me fucking crazy every time.
I lean my head down to kiss her, and she backs away quickly.
“Are you out of your mind? My father will rip your face off. Respect.” She warns me.
I look at the man seated at the table, his eyes glued to the interaction. Where his brother and the rest of the men in attendance are all smiling and joking, he is staring daggers at me.
I know what I need to do next. I need to convince her father to let her stay with me. After everything that went down with Keeley and Wire, I know that it will be a hard fight. I will stay here until he caves.
