by Tara Brent
“Dusty why don't you do Grandma a favor and go upstairs and play until dinner.” Grace talks to him so softly but there's sternness in her voice at the same time.
“Okay.” He smiles, picking up the coloring books and crayons.
"Thank you for letting me color with you." I smile at him; he gives me a goofy grin and rushes off to the playroom that was made for just him.
"I know what you're thinking." Grace points out to me when Dustin is out of earshot.
“I don't have the slightest idea of what you're talking about.” I lie to her, my tea now cold from sitting so long.
“Don't play that game with me, young lady. I've known you since you were a child that was an inch shorter than my knees.” Grace points a finger at me.
I forget sometimes that even though she's a grandma she tells it how it is. She doesn't like the bullshitting and so I sigh even heavier this time.
“He's not going to go back to her. You're the one he wants Amber. Can't you see that?” Grace lectures me softly.
“Yeah, I see that. That's why he ran away for five years.” I point out to her, reminding her that he's hurt me in the past.
Grace doesn't need reminding though; I can see it on her face.
“It was a tough time back then Amber. You don't think that Logan knows he's messed up? You have to look on the brighter side of things.” Grace gave me a warm smile.
“I'm trying.” My heart sinks.
After all that we've accomplished over the past few days, it's hard to see him leaving. I bit down on my lip and turn away before I cry.
“Things will work out. They have to. I've never liked Jessica. I still don't like her now.” Grace grunted. “And why should I? The way she hurt my boys”
“She's pretty. Beautiful.” I whisper to her.
“So are you, inside and out. You don't know the damage that the woman has done to him. She has an ugly soul.” Grace nods her head as if what she's telling me is the gospel.
I wish that I can be just as certain as she is. My appetite has gone and I need to leave the house before I throw up.
"I have to go," I whisper to her, getting up and quickly giving her a hug.
“What about dinner?” Grace asks me.
“I'll have to get a rain check on that. I'm sorry.” I rush out of the kitchen and away from the house, running away myself for a change but I know I'm not going to get far.
Not when I live right across the street from it all.
I feel bad not telling Dustin that I will see him later, I couldn't sit there and wait for Logan to get back. I couldn't just sit there and find out that maybe the nightmare in my mind is going to come true the second he enters the door with an apologetic look on his face.
It's hard to catch my breath, it's hard to sit here and think that maybe, just maybe Jessica is going to be the one who changes his mind.
I can see the love she has for him; I could see it when she stared at him. The way he had spoken to her had been harsh but there was a starry-eyed look on her face. When she passed between Grace and me it was with confidence. It was like she was telling us she was taking her boys back.
Not caring how long she had been gone out of their lives. I don't even know how long she'd been gone but she seemed to think she was going to get what she came for.
Is he the Logan he was so many years ago? The one that I remember, or is he the Logan that she remembers? Neither of us knows the same Logan and I fear that the Logan she knows is going to rush right back into her arms.
I have to remind myself of what Logan has told me, at the same time no one knew this was going to happen. That she was just going to show up one day and want everything back that she had voluntarily left. She had walked out on Logan and her son.
Logan has Dustin to think of first. The boy that I'm sure wants his mother and father back together. Maybe it will be a happy ending for him. I smile just a little, what wouldn't be a happy ending for Dustin? He was a happy child; even I can see that from spending just one day with him.
To try to get my thoughts off the situation I draw myself a bath. Try to relax. It's the only thing I can do. If not I'm going to pace the floors all night and not get any sleep.
Filling the tub up with hot water I sink slowly into the bubble bath, I suddenly feel myself tremble again but it’s not that I’m cold. My body feels tense and I need to relax.
The second I close my eyes to relax I'm reminded of the shower that Logan and I took just this morning.
It's then that the first tear of many starts to trickle out of my eyes and down my face. The tears are bound to come and I know this. You can't love a man and not cry for him when something drastic like this happens.
Jessica, why did you have to come here? I ask her in my mind. Over and over again. Please don’t take him away from me...
Chapter 22: Logan
“Logan, I know that I've messed up. I'm here to make things better. To make things right. I miss you.” Jessica's words were echoing in my ears. She says it over and over again.
When I got back to grandma's house I saw that the lights were dim. I didn't mean to stay out so late and there was nothing that I could do about it when I knocked on the door and Grandma opened it.
“Sorry I missed dinner.” I give her a tired smile.
“Don't be. The only one who ate was Dustin.” Grandma gave me a look, a look asking what's going on?
“It's late. I think I should take Dustin home.” I tell her, clearing my throat.
"Like hell, you will, I want to know what's going on right now Logan." Grandma glared at me, shutting the door behind me.
I should've known this was coming. I am stupid to think that it would be easy.
“What is going on?” Grandma asked me this time with a little bit of tenderness and urgency in her words.
“Nothing. We talked about Dustin then we talked about her and me. We just talked.” I told her, I could tell she knew there was more and that I wasn’t telling her everything.
“Where's Amber?” I ask, wanting to change the subject.
“She left shortly after you did. She couldn't sit and wait around for you to come back and I don't blame her.” Grandma tried to scold me.
There was nothing to scold me about, I've done nothing wrong. I don't like the fact that I'm sitting in the hot seat because Jessica showed up.
“I'm sorry that she came to the house, I told her that it wasn't the best idea that she's had.” I scoffed, shaking my head.
“Yet, she did it anyway. I don't like her Logan. The way she left. The way she left not you, but Dustin.” Grandma was getting angry.
I'm not even concerned with the conversation. My mind is on Amber. What she's doing. I know that if Grandma is this upset I can only imagine how she feels and the thoughts going through her mind.
"Excuse me, I need to call Amber," I tell her, getting up from the chair and going into the bathroom, to get some privacy.
Calling her phone I let it ring a few times. No answer. I'm not going to leave a voicemail; I want to speak to her. I want to hear her voice in my ear whether she's happy, sad, or mad. I don't want anything ruining what we have and the thoughts that must be running through her head about Jessica must be eating her up inside.
Going back out to the kitchen Grandma is cleaning up the mess that Dustin left for her, she should make him clean up his own. I do at the house.
I want to say something but she is quiet, overly quiet. I just don't want to talk about it. Yet she insisted on pushing. I don't want to talk to her about it until I talk to Amber and both women aren't talking to me.
The only other option I have is going to her house.
"I'm going to see Amber," I tell Grandma, looking at her until she acknowledges me with a small nod of her head.
There's no way that we are going to let this go unsettled. She can't ignore me that easily. I'm not going to let her.
I shut the door quietly behind me and knock on Amber's door. I'm determined that I'm
not going to leave until she answers. Until she lets me explain what the conversation was about.
I knock a little louder this time, maybe she doesn't hear me, maybe she's in the back of the house.
“Amber, open the door!” I shout, not angrily. Just enough to get her attention if she's home.
She has to be home, her car's in the driveway.
Taking a step back there's no way that she can't hear me. Not unless she's sleeping and I know there is no way that she's asleep not knowing if I'm at my Grandma's or not. Or when I was going to be back.
She's ignoring me. I know she is, half-heartedly I turn and walk away. It's getting late, I have to get Dustin back home and into bed. I'm not about to give up completely, I will try again in the morning.
I go back to Grandma's and Dustin already has his things together.
“See the two of you in the morning? Maybe breakfast will work out.” Grandma gives us a tired smile.
“We will be here.” I give her a small smile and kiss her on the cheek.
No matter how we feel about the situation we don't part without emotion.
“We will be here with beller's on!” Dustin throws his head back and laughs.
“That's bells. We will be here with bells on.” I correct him and the three of us laugh together.
Dustin can always make things easier to deal with. To see the bright side of things, sometimes you have to see it from a child's perspective.
Grandma walks us to the door and opens it for us, I know she will stand there until we pull away and she can't see us anymore.
I take one more look over at Amber's house and drive off into the night. I don't realize just how tired I am until I get Dustin into bed for the night and get myself to bed.
I lay there for just a few minutes, thinking about Amber and what she must be going through, in her mind. Then my eyes slowly begin to close and another day is gone. An almost perfect day at that.
Chapter 23: Amber
I manage to avoid Logan like the plague. I don't know how many times he'd come knocking on my door, too many to count. I refused to answer, pretending that I wasn't home. I even put headphones in so that I could drown out the noise of the knocking and the sound of his voice.
“What's going on with you today?” Rosie asks as I fiddle around with an arrangement that looks just as sad as I do.
“Nothing.” I sigh, though Rosie knows me better than that.
“Tell me.” Rosie draws out her words softly and her voice sounds just as sad as I feel.
“Logan's wife came to town looking for him Saturday night.” I let it out, blinking back the tears in my eyes.
“Oh my god, no way.” Rosie's eyes pop open; she can't believe the words that come out of my mouth.
“Yeah, I guess she gets her happy, little, family back.” I roll my eyes, trying to push the thoughts of all my dreams of a happy ever after with Logan.
“Did he say that? That jerk.” Rosie's cheeks get red with anger.
"Not in so many words," I grumble.
“Then how do you know?” Rosie points a finger at me; I can now see that she regrets calling him a jerk.
After all, he's the one who saved her from Peter. Logan, a real man that fixes things for the better.
“I just know. They went off to talk Saturday night. What else would take them so long?” I shake my head at her.
“Has he stopped coming around?” Rosie asked, trying to figure it out.
“No, the opposite. He keeps coming over to knock at my door and holler so the neighborhood can hear.” I almost smile, it's not funny but I can't help it.
“Maybe he has something to tell you, maybe he wants to explain.” Rosie tried to think of the positive.
“I don't want to hear him explain.” It's the last thing I want.
'I'm sorry Amber but my wife is back see-ya.' this time leaving with a goodbye instead of without one.
“Well, it doesn't look like you have much of a choice.” Rosie bit down on her bottom lip.
“What do you mean?” I stare daggers at her.
We hear the bell ring to let us know that someone has come into the shop. I put on my best smile and turn around.
Maybe a customer can keep my mind busy for a few minutes. Hopefully the rest of my life.
When I turn around Logan's eyes are the ones that meet mine and the smile fades slowly from my face.
“Can we talk?” He asks, putting his hands in his back pocket.
A nervous habit he's had since we were kids.
"After work," I tell him.
“You're a hard woman to get a hold of. I've tried getting in contact with you and well, I'm just not catching you at home.” Logan's eyes are staring at me, not leaving my face,
Waiting for me to lie to him.
“Let’s go outside.” I know that he's not going to leave until I let him have his say. Maybe it's something that I need to hear. A bit of closure this time.
Rosie smiles at the two of us, I see it out of the corner of my eye as we walk past her and head out the door.
“I know that things were crazy the other night.” Logan starts, running his hand along the back of his neck.
Another nervous habit, whatever he has to say isn't good.
“Logan.” I don't have all day for this.
“What?” He asks.
“Just get to the point. You've always beat around the bush. That hasn't changed much. What do you need to talk to me about?” I asked firmly.
Taking in a deep breath I let it out slowly, letting him know that I'm calm and in control of myself.
“There's nothing to get all anxious about is what I'm telling you. It's what I've been telling Grandma too but you women. You get one thought in your head and that's it.” Logan spread his arms out as wide as he could before bringing them back to his sides.
“There's nothing to get anxious about? Your wife comes here looking for you, looking for her boy and she wants to talk. Yet there's nothing to get anxious about?” I almost shout at him, my face red.
Hey, I thought I was in control of myself.
“There's nothing to be anxious about.” I hear him almost scream at me. I glare at him, to let him know he's getting ready to cross the line.
“If you would just listen to me,” Logan sighs.
“Fine, I'm listening.” I sigh, rolling my eyes at him.
“Good. There's nothing to worry about because 1. She's my ex-wife. 2. I'm not going anywhere. 3 I love you.” Logan tells me as calmly as he can.
“So you didn't come here to tell me that you're sorry?” The reasons shocked me. I guess I still wasn't used to believing that he wasn't going to up and leave me.
“Sorry for what? I love the way my life is going. I love being back home. Jessica isn't happy about my decision but it's not hers to make. She's the one who left me. Not the other way around. She doesn't get to come back into my life whenever she wants to. Whenever it suits her. Dustin and I are happy right where we are.” Logan tries to reassure me.
I was the one who felt like the idiot now. Not answering the door seemed so childish. Not wanting to speak to him. Yeah, I felt funny standing there on the sidewalk and listening to his words.
"Say something," Logan told me.
It was too quiet between us and I know that being lost in my head I hadn't responded to what he had to say.
“Amber.” Logan was almost hesitant to speak my name.
There was nothing that I could say. I didn't know what to say to him. Instead, I kissed him hard on the mouth.
No words could explain how sorry I was for the way I had treated him. Emotions always get the best of me.
I feel him laugh lightly with relief as he presses his lips against mine and wraps his arms around me tightly.
“See what communication and the lack of it can do?” Logan asks when he pulls away from me.
I stare at him lovingly and nod my head.
“How about you come over tonight and I'll make it up to yo
u?” I ask him, looking into his eyes.
"That sounds like a very hot date," Logan smirks.
We continue to walk, getting something quick to eat before he walks me back to the shop.
He leaves me in high spirits when he kisses me and gets into his car to pull away.
“Hey, you know we're going to have to sit down and talk to Grandma.” He shouts, rolling down his window as he slams on his brakes.
“I know. I figured we'd do that soon before she blows a gasket.” I throw my head back and laugh.
Grace doesn't like being out of the loop. It amazes me that he wants to come to me first with the news and I forget to ask him if Jessica is sticking around town or if she's leaving never to return.
Maybe she's already left, either way, it doesn't matter. I know now that Logan isn't going to leave. He's proven himself.
Chapter 24: Logan
It feels good; I thought I would die without another kiss from her lips. Afraid I would never get another one.
Looking at the time I go back to the office and see what I can do. It's been slow but I have hope that work will pick up soon.
I'm surprised to see Dustin sitting in my office along with my assistant Brent. Dustin is sitting in my chair with a smug look on his face.
“What's going on?” I ask, looking from Dustin to Brent and back to Dustin.
“He threw up at daycare and they called while you were away. I picked him up; they think it might be some sort of bug.” Brent explained.
“I feel fine, I don't know what happened. I was talking and then all of a sudden I was puking everywhere.” Dustin threw his hands up in the air with wide eyes.
I bite back a smile; I can't let him see me laughing at him while he's being so serious.
“I didn't want to come back to work anyways. Come on, pack it up and we will go home. Put you to bed.” I tell him.
Brent gets in my chair as soon as Dustin gets out.
“Didn't you hear? It means you have the rest of the day off too.” I do laugh this time.
“I'm going to stick around for a few more hours to fix your schedule for tomorrow and see if there are any phone calls, emails to be dealt with. The norm.” Brent grinned.
