“Kade said something, didn’t he? Threatened anyone who tried to hurt your family.”
“Yes, but it was more of a reminder that Mira was an Alexander, and Alexanders will kill for one another.”
“But Mira is your mate, the alpha female of your pride.” At least that was how Zach explained it when I asked to be filled in on everything I missed out on during the drive to the prison for Vince’s hearing.
Josh nods. “It’s damned complicated. Megan’s an Alexander. She’s bonded to Kade in the way of a pride mate. Mira and Molly, though, are more like honorary pride mates than those sharing a mystical bond. And me? For my family’s sake, I’m just a human mate in the eyes of the shifter world.”
“Makes sense. Though I bet doing so irritates the crap out of you.”
“It’s for the best. The shifter world won’t see me as a threat, and when it comes down to it, fear’s what keeps them in line.”
“But you’re a human with your own set of cats and that creepy goddess sharing your soul. If that’s not scary, I don’t know what is.”
“And I’m still adjusting to living with these crazy instincts and the whackjob goddess who decided to latch onto my soul.” Josh shakes his head. “Excuse me. Golden Goddess who blessed me and granted me the ability to spend eternity with Mira.”
Taking the chair across from him, I snicker. “She made you say that, didn’t she?”
“She likes to remind me of the benefits of our deal. I like to remind her of what that deal actually is—a symbiotic relationship”—Josh leans forward and pulls the mug closer to him—“and that means her power is mine.”
“So you can do anything she can?”
“I will once I’ve learned to wield her powers safely.”
Speechless, I study my brother. There’s nothing different about him, at least on the outside. Appearances can be deceiving, however. “And what does she get out of it?”
Josh lowers his voice. “The chance to walk among humans.”
I lean closer until the scent of his favorite cocoa butter soap drifts to me. “What exactly does that mean?”
“Exactly what it sounds like. Once I’ve mastered her powers, she can walk among humans, leaving me in charge, so to speak.”
The sensation of my crazy persona melding into me rolls through my body and leaves me flinching. Josh narrows his eyes. I sit back in an attempt to gloss over my case of the heebie-jeebies, hoping Josh doesn’t press me on my reaction. “What? She’ll emerge from your chest like some sort of demonic possession?”
Josh shrugs. “The how doesn’t matter. What does is the fact I can give the Alexander pride’s goddess what she’s craved since the beginning of time.”
“And nobody else knows this, do they?” If they did, my brother’s unborn babies wouldn’t be the only ones at risk. Josh basically confessed to one day being able to wield the powers of the heavens.
“You and Mira do.”
“Not Kade?”
Josh shakes his head.
“Why not?”
“Because.” Josh wets his lips and studies the black coffee. “Kade’s had his own issues to deal with. Maybe I’ll fill him in soon. We’ll see, though. Depends on how things go.”
“Depends on how what things go?” The suspicion in my voice tugs Josh’s gaze to mine. “Do these things have to do with me?”
“If that’s your first thought, then I think you’ve answered your own question.”
“No. It doesn’t answer anything. Explain. Why haven’t you mentioned this to Kade? It’s his goddess that’s going to be rubbing elbows with humans.”
“I didn’t want to add to his stress. He’s been obsessed over finding you.”
I cross my arms and smirk. “And I’ve evaded all those losers he sent after me too.”
“And you do know that’s made him look bad.” Josh’s scowl chastises me. “You realize that, right? He couldn’t bring home his little lost human no matter how much he tried.”
“He obviously didn’t try too hard. He never bothered looking for me himself.” And if Kade did, he’d find me. My inner warning system never worked for him. He’d say that means he’s not a threat. More likely me smelling like him nullifies my gut instincts.
“Would you have wanted him to abandon his pride to come hunt you? That would’ve been a disaster. Do you realize how much shit has happened since you ran off?”
I stand, the chair wobbling but not falling, and back up until the counter stops me. “You know it’s hard for me being here. I would’ve taken off eventually anyway. So don’t go blaming me for distracting Kade or some nonsense.”
“And how soon before you take off again and break Kade’s heart?”
I laugh, the maniacal sound a reflection of my inner craziness. “If me leaving breaks his heart after the short time we’ve known each other, that’s on him.”
Josh stands, leaving his coffee basically untouched, and heads to the stairs. “And that’s what’ll finally break you, Zo.”
“Josh.” I plant my hands on the table while my waking dream lingers—taunting me. “That night… The one I lost my baby… Did you ever see him?” I suck in a breath, but my tight chest squeezes more. “Hold him? Did you hold him before they took his dead body away?”
For a long time, Josh doesn’t look at me. He stares at the stairwell while the color drains from his face. Finally, he glances over his shoulder and shakes his head. “No.”
A spark of hope flairs, even though I know it’s only my crazy side—my guilt—playing games with me. “Then how can you—”
“I saw you, Zo.” Tears well in Josh’s eyes, and his voice thickens. “You were…hurt bad. Really bad. The paramedics—”
Josh chokes on a bitter laugh as a tear slides down his cheek. “They said they couldn’t believe your heart was still beating. The ground squished beneath you. My knees sank in the bloody dirt, Zo. Your blood literally soaked the ground. At the time, all I knew was that you were awake…alive. I wanted you to stay that way, and when you got to the hospital, you slipped into a coma. That’s why you were out so long. That’s why you missed BJ’s and John’s funerals. You were on the verge of death yourself.”
“Isn’t that what you pleaded for when you were dying? Not to die so you could save your precious loved ones?” My voice slips through my mind, but it’s not mine, at least not a side of me I want to claim. I rub at my brows, covering my burning eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I remember you telling me all that. I never got to see him, that’s all. I didn’t even know I was having a him. We wanted it to be a surprise and…”
“I know.” Josh’s voice soothes me with a cool strength. “I remember.”
But I don’t. I don’t remember much of anything.
I take a deep breath. “Hey…tell Mira I said hi. Okay?”
“And that’s my cue to leave. Call me before you do leave. All right? I want to hold my baby sister for a little bit. I miss you when you’re gone.”
I nod, then follow my brother’s retreating back with my gaze, but I don’t say anything else. There’s no need. Josh knows me better than anyone. He knows I let everyone down eventually and doesn’t expect much else.
And I’m tired of proving him right.
Fourteen
Kade
Regret isn’t merely a bitch. It’s a damn whore I’ve known intimately many times over my long life. I’ve wallowed in the utter remorse. I’ve also risen above it, then let its tempting whispers drag me back down the slippery slopes of what could’ve been, starting the vicious cycle over again. No matter how many times I’ve succumbed to guilt, however, it’s never left me…cold inside.
In the hours since Zoe drove away from me, the chill spreading from my soul has grown until I can’t help but wonder if it’s possible the icy cold will consume me if I allow it.
Moving to the splash of sunlight in front of my office windows, I flex my hands, then shake my arms out. Still, the chill slips deeper into my limbs and numbs my fingers. Except
I’m not the one who’s chilled. Neither am I the one with a well of darkness inside me. Zoe is. The touch of her soul to mine last night left a stain behind.
The sound of a door closing reaches me, followed by the scent from a Yuran pride member. I don’t move from the rays of the warm sun, however, despite them doing little to counter the numbing sensation consuming me. If Daegan wanted me dead, my severed head would already be rolling across the hardwood floor. An assassin’s reputation to move in silence, undetected by his targets, is not merely legend. The fact Daegan’s allowed my cats to sense him means today the angel of death is here as a friend. Tomorrow might very well be a different story, however. Personal relationships mean little to those who kill for a living.
“To what do I owe the honor of your presence on this fine morning?” Although my words hold a formality normally reserved for visiting alphas, Daegan would expect nothing less. The ancient male comes from a time of pomp and respect.
“My son and I have come to deliver a warning and an offer.”
My caught breath is the only outward sign of my shock. It’s also the only one I can allow and retain the image I strive to uphold. On a controlled exhale, I turn and face the oldest assassin and the male I hadn’t known stood within arm’s reach of me. I offer a single nod, an acknowledgment of Jarah’s skill and in thanks for allowing me to greet another day.
Blue jeans and a white T-shirt draw attention to Jarah’s physical strength and his bluish-black skin, the same shimmering pigment his mother—and his goddess—is rumored to have. Daegan, however, looks nothing like his “father,” but considering Jarah never mated, that’s not all that surprising. The familial tie they share is not one I’d ever dare question, however. The love of an adopted father for his son is not any less than what a biological parent feels. And Jarah loves his unorthodox family with an unprecedented and deadly protectiveness.
Without taking my attention off the most dangerous man in the room, I address Jarah. “What’s your offer?”
A small smile lifts the corners of Jarah’s mouth, offering a peek of straight white teeth, no fangs. “Don’t you want to know what threat looms in front of you that we’d intervene on your behalf?”
“If you’re willing to offer your help, whatever threat looms is not one that will defeat me.”
“Your trust in me is foolish.”
“I don’t think so. Failure would not reflect well on you.”
Jarah inclines his head. It’s not quite a nod, but with his chin dipped, he studies me. “Your leadership is about to be questioned and tested. I’m offering to prove you’re worthy of the position you hold.”
“As alpha?” The distinction matters. Since joining Shifter Affairs, leading my pride is not my sole obligation.
“As king among alphas.” Jarah’s words hold an excitement to match the glint in his eyes.
“There is no such thing.”
“There will be. It’s been prophesized. Daegan can confirm this. The only thing left to determine is who will become king.”
I stare at Jarah while a silent Daegan watches us both, but Jarah doesn’t say more. “You were in on the alpha call, weren’t you? This is about what Asa said.”
“Yes. I always call in, but never speak up. As an alpha without a pride, I’m not formidable enough to speak and have those in that circle listen.”
“You’re the oldest assassin. People fear you and the angels of death you’ve mentored.”
“They did at one time, but our time has passed.”
“Not according to the Shifter Council.” Daegan breaks his silence. “They’ve requested that we actively recruit new members and rebuild our numbers.”
“To do their bidding.” Spite gives Jarah’s response a bitterness I hadn’t noticed in him before.
“We’ve always done their bidding.”
Jarah looks past me to focus on Daegan. “Before the council signed that agreement with the humans, we were free to act as we saw fit. Now the Host and all its angels must abide by some legalese we never had a say in drafting.”
“And you don’t like the restrictions.” An obvious assumption based on Jarah’s anger.
“He doesn’t like the knowledge that the hard-and-fast rule he’s enforced for millennia is wrong.”
“We are predators. When there are threats, we eliminate them before they grow too powerful and destroy us.”
I look between Jarah and Daegan. “We’re not talking about shifters or humans who’ve broken our laws, are we?”
Daegan shakes his head.
“Witches.” Jarah spits the word.
“Witches are harmless.” Daegan voices the argument the humans used in barreling through the law even those on the Shifter Council wavered on. “They’re nothing more than healers or lovers of the earth and didn’t deserve our blanket death sentence.”
“Witches might be harmless, but those witches powerful enough to become human shamans are not harmless.” Jarah’s scolding tone is that of a father reprimanding a child. “In fact, human shamans are as far from harmless as any being on this planet.”
“Because shamans can take possession of other people or animals.” Exactly as the shamans did for ages before they caught the eye of the heavens and became the first shifters.
Jarah focuses on me. “Or they can be possessed. By demons. By more powerful shamans. By lost spirits. Then they’re nothing more than puppets for the being inside them.”
“Such a thing is rare.” Though, in all honesty, I can’t back my words with any fact. Until this century, we’ve never allowed witches to live long enough to prove or disprove my statement.
“Possessions were common during the time of the first shifters. In those days, you had whole family lines of shamans, from fathers to daughters and everyone in between, and those families were feared. Neighboring villagers called them berserkers or úlfheðnar or simply the crazed. In reality, they were shamans…powerful shamans who could slip in and out of other creatures with ease. An overhead raven could hold the soul of your enemy or even the female in your bed. She could fuck you, fall asleep in your arms, then pluck your eyes out at the direction of the shaman controlling her. That is true fear. That is why I insisted all witches be eliminated. Power of that kind can’t be allowed in the hands of humans.”
“But it can among shifters.”
Jarah nods at my statement. “Too many of our kind possess such abilities to restrict us. Including you, Kade Alexander.”
“Few of our kind have developed those powers, including me.” More because few shifters understand shamanism. At least few shifters born in the last millennium do. Ancients have either taken the knowledge with them to the grave or not bothered passing it down. “Dabbling in such things without the knowledge is dangerous. One wrong move and we could invite a demon to possess us rather than us doing the possessing.”
“Correct, but those who have developed their shamanic roots are formidable.” Daegan’s gaze holds a challenge. “Formidable enough that, if left unchecked, they can become a king among alphas. That’s what Asa wants. That’s what he believes is his reward. And that’s what he’s working to make happen. And that is what the goddesses prophesized.”
“Unless you claim the title first.” Jarah’s amusement returns. “A title you were always meant to hold.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“The Alexander pride was chosen to lead the shifter world.” Jarah repeats my goddess’s words from the night I became alpha.
“At the time, Mira had not yet conceived her babies. They are the prophesized ones. That’s who she was talking about. Besides, the goddesses offered a reward for the successful conception of Mira’s babies. If Josh had died because of the incident involving Zoe and Vince, he would never have met Mira.”
“And whose declaration allowed Josh and Mira to be together in the first place?” Jarah asks, despite not having direct knowledge of what went on here last summer. “You made it so they had a chan
ce to create life and love and the babies the goddesses prophesized.”
“I tried to keep them apart. If anything, I should be punished for trying to prevent the prophecy from coming to pass.”
“Things happen for a reason, Kade Alexander.”
“True, and any of my pride mates who intervened to help Josh and Mira did as much as I did. Saying I did more is more than a little narrow-minded.”
“The Alexander pride was chosen to lead the shifter world,” Jarah repeats his earlier words. “Isn’t that what your goddess said to you the night you became alpha? Or are you calling my goddess a liar? She’s the one who told me. If so, I must warn you. She won’t take kindly to the blasphemy.”
“You’re reading into it. The Alexander pride was chosen to lead the shifter world. Not me. My pride.”
“A king is only one man.”
“I shouldn’t even be leading this family. My twin is the rightful one to lead. You should be having this conversation with Rafe. I never wanted to be alpha.”
“He wasn’t meant to be king.”
“Neither am I.” Frustration gives my stance a harsh bite. “And this discussion is getting us nowhere. The goddesses appeared before Asa with talk of being a king among alphas.”
“A reward, not the title of king among alphas.” Daegan corrects me in a tone not meant to mock but inform. “I was there. I heard every word the goddesses said. They offered a reward. Their reference to a king among alphas was merely a part of it.”
“Tell our reluctant king what the goddesses said.”
Daegan nods at Jarah’s order and turns to me. “War awaits us, a battle more dangerous than any we have ever orchestrated. The prophesized ones will guide us through to the other side, but even those blessed by our hands need conductors to set their paths. Their conception. Their birth. Their cohorts. None are assured. Of you and yours will their parturition be shepherded into the world where a king among alphas awaits to gather their army and herald the lost into a new life. Choose their path. Ensure their conception. And to the first prophesized one, a cohort of you and yours will be chosen, and together, they will rain hell down upon your enemies.”
Possessed by the Alpha Page 14
