by Pearl Tate
I don’t think he’s listening to me at all. I’m still getting a really blank stare. “Are you going to answer me?”
Nothing. Oh wait, his mouth opened a bit.
Whatever. I’m just going to lay it all out there then. I haven’t done anything wrong. “Maybe this is all casual to you, but I don’t hop into bed with just anyone. I’ve only been sexually active with a few people and it’s always meant something to me.”
I pause and sink down onto the end of the bed. Now his face is turning red. He straightens up, gripping the arms of the chair he’s sitting in across from me. “I know it was quick between us, but everything about the way we met was intense. You came on the Skylab and then you saved me before it blew up. Everything just happened so fast!” I never realized his nails were so sharp but they’re piercing the fabric on the chair arm as he listens to me. “I can’t let myself get any more attached to you if you’re involved with someone else.” There.
He can’t be surprised. But he definitely looks surprised. And mad. I don’t get how he can figure he’s entitled in any way to be mad! “Let’s just plan on ending this here and be friends. I really appreciate everything you have done for me.” See how grown up and diplomatic I sound?
Fuck! Who am I kidding? I want to go home and he is my best bet. He’s still the captain of this ship. “Why don’t we talk about taking me home again? I don’t really think your fiancée is going to appreciate you bringing someone you’re involved with back to your planet. There has to be something we can work out, right?”
Now his mouth is hanging open again. How can he not have thought of this? What if I go back to his planet and they have some weird laws about infidelity and they want to kill me? What if I have no rights in his country and I’m classified as a pet?
There are just way too many unknowns and I’m not going to just get passed around and be dependent on some other person on his ship. I’ll end up with someone like Travek eventually. Someone who doesn’t care about me at all and doesn’t treat me as an equal. Someone who decides to pimp me out!
The odds are never in my favor. Look at where I am now!
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
- Bren
How can this have gone so bad so quickly? Hannah wants to go home? Doesn’t she realize that I will never let her go?
“No.” Releasing the arms of the chair, I pull my lengthening nails from the fabric and settle them lightly onto my knees. This is another thing that I’ve only ever read about. Mating fever. Discussed in hushed tones as a curse, it’s when the mate bond is threatened and control is lost.
“No, you won’t take me home or no, your promised won’t mind you bringing back a girlfriend?”
What is she talking about? She is not something casual like a friend. We will always belong together. “No, you cannot go back to your home world. Earth is not a choice for you.”
I can tell she is angry, and tears have begun to leak down her cheeks at my words too. Her confusion and anger is clear through our bond. It makes me hurt to feel how I have made her feel. My anger fades and I move across the space between us to pull her into my arms.
“No! No, no!” Her words are emphasized by pounding on my chest as she bursts into tears.
Standing, she stumbles back and trips on the sheet she has wound around her body. Catching her, I hold her until her fluttering hands grab my forearms to stabilize herself. “You can’t do this!” She pushes herself away from me again and leans against the washroom door frame. “I can’t be around you and not want you. I don’t know why you did this to us! We could’ve been good friends without sex. Now how can I deal with you?”
Tears are streaming down her face and I can barely understand her words. The pain through our shared bond is strong and I know she is truly hurting. I understand that I should have shared more of my past and commitments at my home world, but I thought we would have time.
Now even that has been taken from us. But nothing is changing and I will just have to convince her of that. She is mine.
“You will get over this in time.” Reaching for her again, when she strikes my chest, I pull her into me, trapping her arms. She struggles as I lift her and move us towards the bed.
“No Bren. No.” Her words dissolve into tears as I lay her down.
She immediately rolls away from me, giving me her back.
Ignoring her flinch as I touch her, I trace her mating mark lines on her upper back, watching the colors dance under my fingers. Her tears and anguish sit heavy in my chest as she struggles to regain control.
It takes a while before she talks to me again. But I can wait. I’ll wait for her for eternity. It feels like I already have.
“I hate how good that feels.” The dull throb in my chest lets me know she is speaking from a place of pain.
“Everything between us will always feel good.” The words tumble from my mouth without thinking. In hindsight, they aren’t the most insightful.
“That is hard to believe Bren. I don’t feel good right now. I just want to go home.”
Of course she says the one thing I can never give her. I’m sure I would never be welcome in her homeland. Even if Earth wasn’t in the Ashen’s zone, humans on Earth don’t know of other species and it will be a long time before they accept them.
“We will always be together. It will work out. It has to.” The platitudes you feed a child spill from me, but I can’t help feeling like I will do whatever it takes to keep her. Is it possible she doesn’t feel the same?
“Wouldn’t you miss me if you went home?” I hold my breath while I wait for her response, straining to understand what I feel from our bond too.
“Sure.” She looks over her shoulder at me seriously. “But I’m going to be in even more pain now. I’ll have to see you and miss you. Right? It’s not like you broke off the big ceremony she was discussing. Everything is still on, right? Where does that leave me?”
What is she thinking?
The door rings and I realize that our meal has arrived.
“Stay here.” Pulling another sheet from under the bed, I cover her and open the door for the delivery.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
- Hannah
I’ve had about thirty minutes to myself before I spot the first weird mark on my back.
Bren left not long after the food arrived. He spent five minutes trying to hand feed me like a baby. Was it any wonder that I batted his hands away and told him to fuck off? I’m not a baby.
Sure, I’m crying like one right now. That’s true. But a girl’s got a right to be a little let down when the hot, sexy alien she’s been sleeping with ends up being engaged with kids. And a big, fat fucking liar about it too!
Now I certainly have something else to worry about.
After eating the broth and interesting food that they brought for me, I went to clean up in the bathroom and decided to comb out my hair properly. I got a little sidetracked from that the last time I was in here. That wasn’t my fault for sure. And just being in the bathroom made the whole conversation play over in my head again.
Through the haze of tears leaking out, I caught a glimpse of something on the back of my upper arm. My first thought was a bug! I fucking hate spiders, beetles, bugs, snakes—basically any little creepy-crawlies. As I shifted and looked down my arm, it did look like a snake for a second. But then I totally turned!
Holy fucking shit. I didn’t just have something on the back of my arm. Oh no. I had tattoos just like the ones on Bren all over my arms, my back, all the way down to my tail bone!
How did they do that to me? I’m not an idiot. He had to have done this to me. I just don’t remember when.
Add it to the list of things I am planning to kill him in his sleep over. I just feel so duped. Almost violated with the way he seems to have railroaded me. Not just my career, by extracting me from the Skylab and technically saving my life, but also my emotions. I’ve never been this fucked up over a guy, especially not in this short a period of time together
.
This is so unusual for me. So out of character. I’m not even sure what to think.
They don’t have another mirror in this bathroom, so there’s no way for me to check out the entire extent of the damage they did to me. They’re incredible tattoos. There’s something in their ink that makes them change color and shift with an iridescent sheen.
I honestly didn’t think they were tattoos on Bren. I’ve seen them gleam and change color with his emotions, even when I just touch them, they seem to ripple from each side towards my touch. As if they want to come to me…
But from what I can see on myself, there are a lot. A real lot. They’re on the back of my neck and even under my hair I think. They spiral out over my shoulders and travel down each side of my spine, criss crossing and forming a pattern identical to what Bren has on his neck, chest and yes, even all the way down into his pubic region. He had to have done this to me. What other crazy tests and markings have they done?
Has he made me want him like this? Is everything I’m feeling some kind of mind control of my life? Shit. If you want to get really technical, am I even still alive?
Now, I know I’m starting to freak out as tunnel vision sets in and I slowly turn and stumble to the bed. My breathing is heavy as I start hyperventilating as the stress of this entire ordeal crashes down on me. Collapsing onto my back, I take deep breaths and try to slow down my racing heart, telling myself to think about nothing, Of course, I immediately start mentally cataloging my last twenty-four hours.
Is it possible that I’ve been on the ship for way longer? That one of the times I slept they put me in some weird hibernation or stasis? I’m starting to second guess everything.
I haven’t even slept much and my back and neck aren’t sore.
My girlfriend, Serena, decided to get a tattoo on vacation the year we turned eighteen. She thought she would be able to hide it from her parents too. Between the healing process and the fact that she wasn’t supposed to go into the ocean, the whole entire episode was a huge failure. And her tattoo was small. Very small. Just a little heart and rainbow on her hip. Kind of dorky if you ask me and it didn’t have nearly the color tones and variations of what’s on me.
My stomach revolts and I scramble to the bathroom to throw up the meal I just ate. Fucking great!
Not super surprising though with all the stress. First, I find out that Bren has a fiancée and pending wedding and now I’ve been totally violated and match him. Maybe this is some kind of branding of ownership for slaves he just hasn’t had the balls to tell me about yet. There seems to be quite a bit he is leaving out.
How long does he think he can keep me in the dark? It’s time that I demand some answers. Up until now, I’ve speculated and wondered and worried. I’m in this now. I need to know what’s going on and what to expect from my life. Then at least I can prepare myself.
Somehow deal with it. Decide if it’s worth it.
The Skylab blowing up was to keep me from having to make any tough decisions. Of course, suicide is always an option but I believe there’s usually something to live for. I thought Bren was going to be one of those things, but I don’t even know if he’ll be in my life after the next couple of weeks. That thought brings an extreme pain to my nervous system. I want him. My heart throbs in agony. Why does this hurt so bad?
A brand-new society with new social habits and requirements? I was never particularly good at the one I was born into. What’s going to make this any different? Do I really want to start over?
A heavy sadness drops over me and I wonder briefly if he’s going to care if I use his equivalent of a tooth brush that looks like it’s in a drawer here. Too bad, so sad. I’m using it. Especially since I just lost my lunch and have a horrible puke taste in my mouth.
Moving forward, I know what I must do. I need facts. Data. The truth.
That’s the real question, right? How much will be the truth? But I need to at least try. When Bren comes back, I have to express to him how important it is that he lets me know what he’s done to me, where we’re going and what he thinks my future really looks like.
Until I get his watered-down version of the future, I can’t plan my next move. Because I do have options. They may not all be great but I’m a survivor.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
- Bren
The private conference call to my brother went better than I expected. My only regret now was how quickly I had to leave Hannah. I know she is hurting and the timing couldn’t have been worse. But when I received the private acceptance and signal that I could reach him, I knew I needed to take the chance and leave her. At least I was able to feed her before leaving. She seems so small and fragile right now, with her red eyes and sad demeanor.
“What are you doing?” He demanded as I started unfastening my flight suit. His disgust turned to shock though, as I peeled it back and exposed my chest. There was no point in trying to explain. Who would believe me? If the roles were reversed, I would not believe him either.
He recovered quickly and after studying my mating marks, said that he would find out everything he could in the old archives. Unfortunately, it has been thousands of years since we were able to mate with the opposite sex. The general consensus is that mating was a primitive need before nanos and cloning and selective breeding programs. I don’t pretend to understand all of what happened over the years, but the mating phenomenon has faded into history as a phase of our life that is better forgotten.
Now that I have experienced it though, I realize the truth of the lie. To be able to have attraction and need flow through your body, not needing drugs or nanos to help have and keep an erection and to actually feel the pull sexually to another? These are all things that have been missing in our reproduction for so long, no one even realizes they exist!
How is that possible?
My brother, trapped in a marriage for the whims of his wife, is the perfect example. He looked at me in horror and pity when I first showed him. He doesn’t see it as the blessing it actually is.
Now, all I can think about is Hannah. I’m drawn to her and want to be with her. She’s everything to me. All my hopes and dreams are now wrapped up in one tiny female.
Quickly, I open the urgent message that was interrupting my call with Matthias every thirty seconds. “Play,” I command and settle back into the conference room chair bracing myself.
This could be another message from Vina Likana and I would rather get it here than back in my room in front of Hannah. “Bren Khar, you have been summoned back to Quasar at the request of The Ruling Council. You are being relieved of your duties for the foreseeable future to fulfill your Ermada Commitment. Congratulations to you and your entire family and we will see you soon.”
The air leaves my lungs in a wheeze as I digest what Vina has done. It’s not unheard of but definitely not common. And why? Why now? Could she have heard something that made her do this in the last rotation?
I have always heard the rumors, that different ships have spies reporting back to The Ruling Council. It always seemed like a conspiracy theory to me. And what is the down side? If you aren’t doing anything wrong, then it’s not a big deal.
This is the first time that I have been in a position where I purposely want to keep some information from the council. I’m aware it can’t be for long. Just a couple of days or weeks, until I can find out what my rights are and how they are likely to legally respond. I have no idea how they are going to react to the fact that one of their eligible males is now mated to an unknown race.
Not totally unknown though. We are aware of all the planets with civilization and the point they are at in their development. There are ranges for the categories and we don’t have all the details. Earth and humans fall under the Ashen’s protection, which limits everyone. This is done purposely due to greed. The more of their information that is available, the more likely it is to fall into unscrupulous hands and their resources may be exploited.
Now that I have listened t
o the message, it’s undoubtedly been passed along to everyone on the ship. Quickly, I input Atticus’s connection while I still have the privacy. “Sir.” His respectful greeting is almost a mockery.
“I’m coming over right now.”
“Yes sir.”
Striding quickly through the halls, I’m congratulated on every side. Lucky me.
Travek falls into step beside me as I exit the elevator for the medical floor. “Let me know if you need me to help with your situation in the next little while. I’m putting together a transport to separate from the Discovery in the next half rotation. It would be great if you could ignore that too.”
Fuck! He sure knows how to make a shit storm into a cyclone. Travek is one of the only people who can get away with just disappearing for an extended period of time. His family connections are ideal for that although he never throws them in your face or uses them to get out of trouble. He’s gone before I can respond. I have enough other issues to deal with.
The door to Atticus’s Medical Bay slides open soundlessly and I’m not surprised to see his partner Brock there with him waiting for me. Ushering me back to a more secluded area, I follow them through a narrow hallway and into their combined living space.
Brock starts making tea while Atticus motions me into a chair across from him.
“What is going on? We received the communication that we are heading back early.” His eyes drill into mine as if this is all my fault somehow.
“How the hell would I know? I’m almost thinking someone told Vina that we picked up a human female and she is in my quarters. Everything is happening so fast.” Scrubbing my hands over my face, I let out a sigh and try to gather my thoughts. “She contacted me to let me know that she is planning things early. She had some irrelevant excuse about a star alignment. Then, I heard from Matthias that now was an appropriate time to contact him. I left my quarters to have a private conversation and by the time I was done, the message from the council was distributed.”
