She stayed where she was, kneeling in front of the rocking horse. His bright black eyes were gazing at her with eagerness about the adventure to come. “I’m afraid we’re going to have to find you a new home, boy,” she whispered. “There will never be another casimar here, but you’ll be all right. You’re a survivor, just like me.”
The panel finally slid back with a protesting creak. Alessandra looked up. “That should do it.” She stood up. “We can go now.”
“Thank you.” Sandor’s tone was ironic and his expression as he looked at the rocking horse completely shuttered. “I think it’s time, since smoke is beginning to curl under the door. This is stupid, you know. Are you sure you won’t change your mind?”
“No. Do you want the rear end or the front?”
“I’ll take the hindquarters. They’re heavier.” He smiled mirthlessly. “And it’s certainly appropriate. I’m being a complete ass for letting you bulldoze me into doing this.” He handed her the flashlight. “Fasten this to Leo’s knapsack. We’ll have to have some light to negotiate those stairs. Ready?”
She nodded as she finished tying the flashlight to the shawl. “Ready.”
The journey was just as cumbersome and taxing as Sandor had predicted. Their pace was excruciatingly slow down the flight of steps from the nursery. By the time they had reached the second level they had to be careful not to touch the hot stone wall separating the passage from the castle. Alessandra could imagine what the fire was now doing to the gracious bedroom where she had slept so peacefully only a short time ago. Here and there, wisps of smoke escaped through cracks in the stone to curl around them like ghostly serpents and remind them what lay behind.
The first level was even worse. The passage here was full of smoke, and Alessandra was coughing so hard from that and the strain of carrying the rocking horse, she wove down the last few steps as if she were drunk.
“Put the damn thing down.” Sandor was coughing, too, and the harshness of the order was magnified by his hoarseness. “This horse is slowing us down too much. You need to get out of this smoke.”
“No, you said it would be better when the passage angled away from the castle. Well be able to hurry once we’ve gotten to the bottom of these stairs. I didn’t remember there being this many steps.”
“Eighty-three,” he said grimly. “I counted them once when I was a boy. Alessandra—”
“I can’t talk to you now.” It was true. It was difficult to breathe, much less talk. “Hurry.”
She heard a curse from the direction of Leo’s hindquarters.
Then they had finally reached the bottom of the steps opposite the dungeon, and the smoke was thinning out. “See, I told you we’d make it.” Her steps quickened as she turned the corner of the passage that angled away from the castle. “We’re practically home free.”
“Hardly. Tell me that when we’re lugging Leo up the steps. Would you like me to tell you how many steps there are between here and the top of the hill?”
She shook her head. “I think I’d rather be surprised.” Her arms were aching and the muscles of her legs felt leaden. Close it out. One step at a time. “I like surprises.”
There was a short silence behind her. “Do you, love? I’ll remember that.” His voice lost its softness and became crisp as he continued. “Anytime you decide you want to get rid of our burden, just tell me.”
“We can’t abandon him. We’ll make it.”
They did make it, though by the time they had hauled Leo up the final few steps Alessandra had her doubts. The strain on their lungs and muscles was almost unbearable. When she shouldered open the trapdoor and backed out of the tunnel, the fresh night air was a cool blessing on her face.
Sandor stumbled out after her and set his end of the rocking horse on firm ground. “You can let him go now.”
“Can I?” She wasn’t so sure. Her hands were stiff and sore from clutching the oak runners and, at first, refused to release them. She had to open and close her hands several times after she had set Leo down, before they felt as if they belonged to her again. “You’re right, I can.” She collapsed on the ground and closed her eyes. “Now you can tell me how many steps there were.”
“One thousand three hundred and forty-two.” He closed the trapdoor and leaned back against the large boulder hiding the passage. “If I remember correctly.”
“Oh, I’m sure you remember correctly.” She drew a long, deep breath. Her lungs still hurt, but the fresh air was soothing them more with each passing second. “There were at least that many.”
“We don’t have to take Leo with us to the airfield. We could hide him in the shrubbery and retrieve him later.”
She shook her head without opening her eyes. “It’s not safe. No telling what might happen to him. There’s a war going on.”
“So I’ve been told.” There was a thread of pain running through the words, and she opened her eyes, expecting to see it echoed in his expression. No pain, His face was as shuttered as it had been when he’d first seen the foyer burst into flame. “We’d better be on our way. Are you ready to go?”
“Yes.” She sat up. “I’m ready.”
He stood up and flicked off the flashlight, still gleaming in the shawl looped around Leo’s neck. “We won’t need this light to give our positions away. We’ll be—” He broke off as his eyes lifted past the high mound of rocks. “My God!”
She knew what he must be seeing, but she had to try to share the agony he was feeling. She stood up and moved a step closer in silent support as her gaze followed his to the valley below.
Limtana was still there. Its massive stone walls were bravely withstanding the flames, as they had the centuries, but every window and opening revealed the harsh orange glare of the cannibal flames devouring it from within. Sparks had ignited a bush and two trees in the garden, and they were being destroyed by the same hungry beast. And Naldona was down there watching it happen. The anger and despair that exploded in Alessandra were titanic. Oh, damn. Damn. She wasn’t aware of the tears running down her cheeks, until she felt Sandor’s fingers gently tracing their path. “For me?”
“For you. For Limtana. For me.” She fell to her knees again beside Leo. “It’s all so futile to save Leo and the casimar and have you lose Limtana. Lose it completely. I failed again. I had to stand by and let them take—”
“You didn’t fail.” His gaze was still on the destruction below.
“It was my fault.” Her arms encircled the neck of the rocking horse, and she buried her face in his painted mane like a bereaved child seeking comfort. “You wouldn’t have stopped if it hadn’t been for me. This wouldn’t have happened.”
“It would have happened.”
“No, you wouldn’t have stopped. My stupid feet …”
She was in pain. She was crying for his loss. He had to try to jerk himself out of this numbness he had deliberately placed on his emotions and help her. Tears would never come easily for Alessandra. Lord, but he didn’t want to begin to feel again right now. Not yet. Not when he could still see Limtana burning. He closed his eyes. Think about Alessandra. Think about life, the future. Don’t think about gaping windows filled with licking flames. Don’t.…
He opened his eyes and slowly knelt down beside her. Her face was still burrowed against the rocking horse, and he began to stroke her hair. “It’s all right. None of this is your fault. If it hadn’t happened tonight, there would have been another night. I knew it was only a question of time.”
“You knew Naldona would burn Limtana?”
He nodded, his hand moving over her hair with infinite gentleness. “When Naldona sent me the picture of Limtana, he made it very clear that no matter how the war turned out, I’d never have my home again. He said his first move when he knew he was defeated would be to burn Limtana to the ground.”
But Sandor could have saved Limtana. He had told her his forces had the ability to take this strip of land that held the home he loved. He’d had the power to issue th
at order and he hadn’t used the power. “Why? Why didn’t you save it?”
“I didn’t have the right,” he said simply. “I told you, Limtana has no strategic importance.”
But Limtana had been of monumental importance to him. She didn’t know whether she would have been able to make the same sacrifice if she had known she could save something she loved merely by lifting a finger. She felt a wrenching pain at the thought of what he must have gone through. Strength. Her first impression had been of the field of strength surrounding Sandor, but she’d had no idea how strong he really was.
His expression was no longer guarded, and she could see the lines of pain etched in his face. And he had been trying to comfort her! “I’m sorry. I know there aren’t any words that will help, but I’m so very sorry, Sandor.”
“I know you are.” His lips twisted as his gaze returned to the scene in the valley. “I don’t know. Maybe I needed to lose something I loved to the war. You were right when you said that I had less to lose than others. Maybe this is some kind of macabre justice.”
“No, I never should have said it. I didn’t know …” She hadn’t known how good he was or how much he cared. She hadn’t known so many things about him. “There’s no justice about this. I’d like to strangle Naldona.”
A faint smile touched his lips. “You’d have to stand in a long line.” He slowly shook his head. “But not for this. Memories are more important than possessions. He can’t destroy my memories. That’s the reason I brought you here tonight. I wanted to have the memory of you here at the place I loved the most. It meant a great deal to me.”
The tears were falling again. She couldn’t seem to stop now. She hadn’t cried when Dimitri died. Her conflicting emotions—rage predominating—had prevented tears. “Sandor …” She suddenly straightened and threw herself into his arms. “Hold me.” She didn’t want him to be alone. She didn’t know if physical touch would help to soothe his pain, but it was all she had to give. “It will be all right. I’ll make it be all right.”
His hands cradled her head, her fingers tangling in her hair. “How fierce you are.” His lips brushed her temple. “We should be leaving now, you know.”
“A few minutes more won’t matter.” She held him tight, trying to communicate all the strength, sympathy, and love she felt for him. Love. Why had she been so afraid to acknowledge it? There was nothing to fear in loving Sandor. “Let me” help you. Let me give to you.”
“Pity?”
“No, I didn’t mean—”
“Shh. It’s all right.” He was rocking her gently.
“I’m not too proud to accept pity. It’s all a part of any decent human relationship to want to help the people we care about and to feel sympathy when they’re in trouble.”
“I do want to help.” The words were muffled against his shoulder. “Please tell me what I can do to help you.”
“You are helping.” His voice was husky. It was true. The first raw pain was easing. His arms tightened around her. “You are helping, love.”
They didn’t speak again. The only sound in the forest was the breeze rustling through the pines and the distant crackling roar in the valley below. They knelt there, holding each other, while the rocking horse’s bright painted eyes gazed blindly toward the horizon.
“It’s not exactly … large, is it?” Alessandra asked as she gazed at the airfield enclosed by the ten-foot barbed-wire fence. “I guess I was expecting something the size of LaGuardia.”
“It’s big enough. It has three runways long enough to accommodate jets.” He laughed softly. “This is Tamrovia, remember?”
“How could I forget? I feel as if I’ve walked over three fourths of the hallowed ground of your sovereign state.”
“I imagine you do. Can I convince you it’s safe to put Leo down now? I promise I’ll have someone from the field drive out and pick him up as soon as we pass the gates.”
“I guess so.” She carefully set the rocking horse down in the grass at the side of the road and straightened with a sigh of relief. “I was beginning to feel as if he were permanently attached to me.” She frowned. “Are you sure he’ll be all right?”
“Positive.” He smiled gently. “After all you’ve suffered for him, I wouldn’t dare let anything happen to Leo. How are your feet?”
“Sore.” She rubbed the nape of her neck wearily. “I’ll survive.”
“I’ve noticed you make a habit of doing that.” His smile faded. “I haven’t taken very good care of you. I promise I’ll do better. When this is all over, I promise you won’t have to walk a step.”
“The way I feel at the moment, I’d probably hold you to that promise. Just how do you intend to fulfill it? I refuse to be relegated to a wheelchair.”
“I was thinking of something more on the order of a ricksha.” Sandor’s eyes were suddenly twinkling. “A very special ricksha, with wheels of gold and the spokes set with jade and amber. I believe you’d look quite regal in such a ricksha, Alessandra.”
“Pulled by a majordomo in a scarlet uniform with gold braid?”
“If milady desires.” He bowed.
She made a face. “The only thing milady desires right now is a bath and a bed. And since there’s no ricksha available, I guess I’ll have to force these feet to move. Not that I—”
“I congratulate you. For ghosts, you look in magnificent health.”
She jumped, then she relaxed as she recognized the big man who had seemingly materialized out of the trees. “Paulo, what on earth are you doing here?”
“Looking for you. I’m glad to see Naldona’s announcement on his broadcast was exaggerated.”
“Broadcast?” Sandor frowned. “What broadcast?”
“The one he made announcing your death, along with that of your ‘brutalized captive,’ Alessandra Ballard.” He tilted his head and appraised her critically. “You don’t appear brutalized—a little tired, maybe.” His dark eyes twinkled. “But we all know how expert Sandor is at torture. No doubt the fiend could brutalize you without leaving a single mark.”
“When?” Sandor asked tersely.
“The broadcast? Thirty minutes ago. Conal radioed the airfield from the base and asked me to go to Limtana and verify the report. I was just setting out when I saw you approaching the airfield.” Paulo’s teeth flashed in his bearded face. “Conal was very worried he might have to step into your shoes. He will be extremely relieved to know that won’t be necessary.”
“Not as relieved as I am,” Sandor said dryly. “What are you doing at the airfield?”
“Waiting for you. You certainly tend to become distracted from your objectives when you’re with Miss Ballard. I started at noon yesterday and arrived at the airfield last night. I was surprised to find you hadn’t arrived yet. Then, when Conal heard the broadcast, he—”
“Why were you waiting for me?” Sandor said incisively. “And why did you follow us?”
Paulo grinned. “Good news. We received a message from Zack. He managed to untangle the problem with the delivery. The arms were delivered to the base last night. Conal didn’t want to risk a radio leak to tip Naldona to the fact that the assault was imminent, so he sent me to tell you and bring you back.”
“I’ll say it’s good news.” Sandor’s eyes blazed, the weariness falling away from him. “Lord, it’s almost over. I’ve got to contact Conal and …” His voice trailed off, and he strode toward the high fence bordering the airfield. He glanced back over his shoulder, shouting, “Take care of her, Paulo.”
Alessandra slowly shook her head as she watched him walk away. She supposed she should be grateful he had even remembered her existence. He had closed her out again. “Yes, take care of me, Paulo,” she said ironically. “But be sure I don’t get in the way.”
“The war is—”
She held up her hand. “I know. I’m not criticizing your Tanzar’s dedication. Priorities have to be observed. I just don’t like being put on a shelf and expected to stay there.” Th
ey had shared so much in the last hours that she hadn’t expected this rejection. “I think Sandor and I will have to discuss a few things. Now, do you suppose you could manage to find me a bath and a place to sleep for the next few hours?”
“The bath is easy. A place to sleep may be impossible. Once Sandor begins to move, there won’t be a quiet room or spot on the entire airfield.” He shrugged. “Maybe not in all Tamrovia … but I will try. If anyone can do it—”
“It will be you,” Alessandra finished. “I have complete faith in your ingenuity, Paulo.” She adjusted the straps of her backpack and brushed the hair from her temple. “Shall we go and put it to the test?”
“Do you want to take our friend, here?” Paulo gestured to the rocking horse. His lips were twitching with amusement. “I was going to question Sandor about it, when he ran off.” He lowered his voice. “What is it? A new secret weapon?”
“His name is Leo,” she said, and sighed. “And yes, I think we’d better take him with us.” If Paulo was right about the coming turmoil, there was no telling when anyone from the airfield would be free to come and pick him up. She bent to grasp the the oak runners. “You take the hindquarters.”
It was done. The arms were distributed and in place. Conal and Jasper would be on their way within the hour to position their troops for the rear attack on Belajo. He had only to fly back to base to join his men and take command of the frontal attack.
Sandor leaned back in the chair and gazed at the radio he had just switched off. He should be tired, but adrenaline was charging him with vitality. He hoped to heaven it lasted. A long forty-eight hours loomed ahead for him. Forty-eight hours. After two long years, it was almost over. He would be able to stop thinking of war and begin thinking of—
“Your helicopter is ready.” Paulo stood in the doorway of the radio room. “I’m surprised you decided to go by air. What about Naldona’s antiaircraft guns?”
“They’ll be taken out. Conal has sent troops to take care of it. A foray toward Limtana will act as a diversion to keep Naldona from noticing we’re shifting our forces to encircle Belajo. If we move quickly, we’ll take him off guard. He thought the news of my death would throw our forces into confusion.” His lips twisted. “His men are probably still sifting through the ashes for our remains. The damage to Limtana must have been pretty close to total for him to risk the announcement without concrete proof.”
'Til the End of Time: A Loveswept Contemporary Romance Page 12
