Taking a deep breath, she let her fingers slide over his shoulders. No pity, she thought. He looked at her with desire and, yes, that scared her. But only a little, she realized, feeling more than slightly victorious over this change in her. “About what?”
His big hands were still, one on her knee and the other holding her steady on her back. “About whatever it was that made you wary. That made you afraid. That taught you to look around and always be aware of your surroundings.”
Emily shuddered as she looked at him, not sure what to tell him. But with his reassuring look as well as the hands that rubbed along her back, never venturing too high or too low…he knew. He might not know the details, but Kurt knew that she’d gone through something that had affected her.
“I was raped,” she blurted out.
His hands stopped, his eyes sharpening. “When?” he demanded, his voice grating.
She pulled her eyes away from his intense, blue gaze and looked at the wall behind him, not even noticing the pictures on the wall or the hum of the air conditioning. Emily’s lips were stiff as she remembered that night, the pain, the fear…the terror. “In high school. I was sixteen years old. I grew up in a small town called LowPoint.”
“I know of it,” he told her, his hands moving again. The touch was soothing now. Not sexual in any way and she appreciated his touch as well as that he wasn’t pressuring her for anything more at the moment.
She opened her mouth, then shuddered at the memories. It took her another moment before she could explain.
“I met some friends in Louisville to go shopping for one of the high school dances. We were just having fun. We’d stopped by the food court in the mall and I went to the bathroom while my friends stood in line to get something to eat. The bathrooms were down a long hallway and…” she stopped, swallowing as memories of that afternoon hit her once again. The event might have happened more than a decade ago, but Emily could still remember the smell of the man’s body odor, the feel of his hands ripping at her clothes, the pain as he pushed her up against the tile covered wall. She remembered all of it. Second by second. The tearing of her clothes, his fingers biting into her breast. She’d tried to fight back, but he’d only punched her in the stomach and she’d gasped for breath after that.
Emily told Kurt all of it. Every detail she remembered of that afternoon. The police had never found the person who had raped her and, according to them, no one had reported another incident like hers.
“Incident,” she laughed. “That’s what they’d called it. An incident.”
She opened her eyes. Emily hadn’t realized that she’d closed them, and she didn’t remember leaning her head against his chest or pressing her face against the warmth of his neck.
“Have you had a romantic relationship with anyone since that afternoon?” he asked.
She shook her head. “No. I’ve tried dating occasionally, but I can’t stand to have any man touch me. So after a few years, I just…stopped dating.”
He shifted his hands against her back. “You’re letting me hold you.”
“Yes,” she replied, but sighed. “I don’t know if I can have sex though. Every time I think about it, I just remember that man’s hands on me and I can’t…I can’t handle it.”
“You’re letting me touch you,” he pointed out.
She smiled, but he couldn’t see her expression. “That’s true.”
“Will you let me kiss you?” he asked.
Emily lifted her head and stared at him. For a long moment, she debated the idea in her mind. Kissing? She hadn’t kissed any man since that night. She’d tried, but at the last moment, Emily had cringed away, unable to stand the idea of a man’s lips on hers.
“I can try,” she told him.
Emily felt Kurt’s hands slide along her back, one hand under her hair. Inch by inch, he lowered his head towards her. “If you want, just pull away, Emily.”
With his words, she relaxed into the touch, feeling a sense of warmth and rightness. At the first touch of her lips against his, she pulled back ever so slightly. Her lips tingled and she smiled. “That wasn’t repugnant,” she admitted with a release of her breath.
Kurt threw back his head, laughing as he hugged her gently against his chest. When his laughter stopped, he looked down at her. “That’s what every man strives for, honey. To not be repugnant!”
She laughed as well, but then she turned serious. “Will you try that again? I…liked it. But…I’m not sure what else I can give you.”
He shifted. “How about if you kiss me again?” he offered. “Then you walk into your bedroom and go to sleep and I go back to my post and try and catch this as…jerk who is trying to scare you.”
She debated that for a long moment. “I’m okay with the kissing part, but I don’t like you staying outside. What about…” she paused and looked into his sharp, blue eyes. “You stay here.”
He shook his head. “No, Emily. We’re not having sex. I’d like to work up to that, but you’re not ready for sex yet.”
She warmed to his words, feeling more secure with his assurance that he wouldn’t push her to do something she wasn’t completely comfortable with at this point. “I’m not suggesting sex. You’re right, I’m not ready for that. I don’t think we know each other well enough, and I’m not comfortable with the idea of sex yet. But I don’t want you sitting outside in your truck.” She paused, biting her lip slightly. “How about if you stay here in my apartment?”
He laughed. “Honey, there’s no way I could sleep in that bed with you and not make love with you. And when we make love, I want you fully on board with everything. We’ll take this step by step, moving at your pace.”
That sounded absolutely wonderful to her ears. “Are you sure that you can do that?”
He laughed. “It might kill me. But I don’t think there’s an alternative.”
She stood up, moving carefully when he groaned. She looked down at his groin and smiled at his erection, knowing that it was all caused by her. “I’ll just…why don’t you sleep in the bedroom?” she offered. “I’m shorter. I’ll sleep out here on the couch.”
He started shaking his head before she’d even finished. “Not gonna happen, love. First of all, I’m not going to sleep tonight. I’m going to be on guard. I’ll also be working at night. I’ll sleep tomorrow when you go to school and Keith will take over in the classroom.”
“That sounds exhausting,” she replied, clasping her hands in front of her so that she wouldn’t reach out and touch him.
“I’m used to it,” he told her. Then he reached out and pulled her hands apart. “Do me a favor though,” he said and moved closer, resting his heavy hands on her hips.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“Touch me, Emily. Touch me anyway you want. If the impulse strikes you, then just reach out and touch me.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think I can do that.”
“It’s one sure way for you to get to know me and be assured that your touch won’t have negative consequences.”
He was right, but Emily wasn’t ready for that step. Not right now. She pulled back, smiling up at him. “I’ll think about it. Good night,” she said and turned around in his arms, prepared to walk back into her bedroom. But at the last moment, she turned back to him and…lifting onto her toes, she kissed him. It was just a brief brush of her lips against his before she pulled back and walked over to her bedroom. But it felt good. Really good!
Kurt watched Emily saunter into her bedroom, a new sway to her hips. His body throbbed with the need to pull her back into his arms and kiss her until she was melting against him, the need to bury himself in her soft, wet heat…but he didn’t do anything. He stood there, showing her without words that he wasn’t going to jump on top of her. Even though he desperately wanted to.
No, he wasn’t an animal, he reminded himself. And his experience with rape victims told him that she needed to be in control. Emily needed to set the pace and know that
she had the power. Someone had taken that away from her in the past. He would give it back to her.
Even if it killed him!
Kurt walked into her kitchen and found the coffee grounds. As quietly as possible, he made himself a big pot of coffee, then settled into the soft cushions of her sofa. Occasionally, he moved to the window and looked out, but kept back a few feet. In the darkness, someone from the outside couldn’t see him if he was this far back. But he could easily see out at the cars moving along the street. Nothing. Everything was quiet.
Around three o’clock in the morning, he thought of an idea to help Emily. And yeah, it might just send him into cardiac arrest, but just thinking about giving her back her control sent his erection into overdrive.
At six o’clock, he heard the shower running and stood up, stretching sore muscles after spending the past six hours staring at his computer screen while listening to her sleep. Not that he could actually hear her sleeping. But every time she turned over in her sleep, he felt it in his bones.
When she stepped out of her bedroom, looking shy and sexy as hell in her sensible heels and tweed skirt with a cream, silk top, he had to clench his fists to keep himself from grabbing her and kissing her awake.
“Did you sleep okay?” he asked, fisting his hands on his hips.
“Yes. I can’t believe it, but I felt safer with you here in the next room. So…thank you,” she told him. “Did you get a lot of work done?”
“Not really. But I have some new ideas about possible leads. I’ll run them by Keith when I take over from him this afternoon.” He stepped into the kitchen and poured her a cup of coffee. He’d been drinking buckets of the stuff all night and felt wired, but exhausted as well. “I had an idea.”
“What’s that?” she asked, taking the cup and blowing on it.
For a long moment, his mind short circuited as he watched her lips purse together. He could easily picture her blowing on his skin with those lips and that breath and…
Kurt stopped his mind from going down that direction. It was dangerous and, with his exhausted state of mind, not healthy for his heart rate. When she took her first sip, he was able to get back on track. Reaching behind him, he pulled his handcuffs out of their pocket and moved them forward, dangling the cuffs in front of her.
She stared at them for a long moment and he saw her swallow with…apprehension? Fear? Perhaps a bit of curiosity? “What are you planning to do with those?” she demanded, her eyes narrowing.
He laughed softly. “I’m not going to do anything with them,” he told her, moving closer but not touching her. “You’re going to handcuff me. And you’re going to loop the chain through the bars of your bed. I will be completely at your mercy,” he explained with desire and excitement gleaming in those blue eyes of his.
Emily thought about that for a long moment, her eyes flashing from his blue ones to the handcuffs dangling from his fingers. “I would…handcuff you?” she whispered, liking the idea. A lot!
“Yeah. You’ll be in complete control. I’m probably twice your size, so I might overwhelm you if we start this the traditional way. So this,” he said, lifting the handcuffs slightly, “will be more to reassure you that you have the power.”
“I like that!” she told him, her lips curling up into a smile.
He laughed softly. “I thought you might,” he replied. And then, because he couldn’t help himself, he leaned forward and kissed her. It was just another brief brush of his lips against hers, but this time, she didn’t pull back. Progress!
Chapter 9
Over the next few days, Emily grew both more wary and more comfortable. Keith and Kurt traded off on sitting in her classroom, observing the students. Sometimes, they went into the cafeteria and ate, listening to the kids and trying to determine the teens that were isolated versus those that seemed a bit more aggressive. Unfortunately, nothing else happened during those five days.
Emily was fed up with being under scrutiny and on Friday, she looked at both men standing in her classroom, hands on her hips as she watched them try and figure out a new idea.
“No,” she announced, interrupting their thoughts. Both men looked up at her and she smiled, trying to soothe her negative word. “I’m done,” she said to both of them. “Nothing more has happened in the past several days. And I’m tired of being scared.”
“Emily, just because…”
She lifted a hand to stop his next comment. “I’m not saying that you two should stop investigating. But we’re done with observing my students and….” She blushed, nodding to Kurt. “You need a good night’s sleep.”
Kurt didn’t argue, especially since his lieutenant had already said the same thing. He had spoken to Keith, explained what Emily meant to him and they’d both agreed to continue working the case off the clock. But that didn’t mean he wanted Emily to be alone at night.
“Em,” he started to say, but she lifted her hand once again.
She smiled up at him, her brown eyes softening as she took in his frustration. “You’re taking me out to dinner tonight,” she told him, then looked at Keith. “And you’re going to go home to your wife and kids. You’re going to spend the weekend with them and not be interrupted. Because I have plans for the next few days and I don’t want to be interrupted either.” She smiled to soften her order.
She looked up at Kurt. “Where are we going to eat?” she asked him.
Keith chuckled. Slapping Kurt on the shoulder, he stepped away. “I’m gone,” was all he said before he walked out of the classroom. Since it was Friday afternoon, the students had headed out of the school as quickly as possible. There would still be crowds of lingering students swarming the school as they all finalized plans for the weekend. In a couple of hours, many of them would be back when the football team geared up for their weekly game, but right now, everything was pretty quiet.
At this particular moment, it was just the two of them. The silence in the classroom was powerful. She stared up into Kurt’s eyes, her heart pounding rapidly as she thought about what he’d suggested several days ago. Handcuffs. She’d be in control. Total control!
“I want you to go home and get some sleep,” she told him, carefully placing her hand on his chest. “And when you’re well rested, I’d like to…”
She didn’t have a chance to finish her suggestion. His muscular arm whipped out and pulled her against his big body. “You’re going to handcuff me and have your wicked way with me, aren’t you?” he growled.
Her gasp of surprise was followed by the slow, excited smile that grew on her features. “Yes. I’d like to try that, if you think you can stand it.”
“Yes!” he hissed. A moment later, he walked over to her desk and shoved all of the papers and her laptop into the bag, handing it to her. His bag was already packed up and he grabbed both with one hand and her own hand with his other, then tugged her out of her classroom. He didn’t even give her time to get into her car. “We’ll pick up your car later,” he told her and jerked open the passenger door to his truck. Because she was in one of her sexy skirts…a skirt that he suspected she thought was conservative and appropriate for a teacher but in reality looked like some sort of sexy-librarian-fetish-outfit, he lifted her up, placing her onto the passenger seat of his truck. He then leaned towards her, looking into her brown eyes as he explained, “We’re going to my place. My bed is bigger.” Then he slammed the door shut and walked around to the driver’s side. Without a glance, he turned on the engine and backed out of the parking lot.
Fifteen minutes later, they were pulling into his driveway. Emily stared at the house with fascination. It was a small, bungalow type house, the kind that was built in the nineteen twenties and improved upon over the years. It was freshly painted with shrubs in the front yard, although no flowers. There was nothing on the front porch even though it looked to be the perfect porch for a swing and a pitcher of lemonade on a sultry summer evening.
“Kurt, this is…!” She laughed when he jumped out of the
driver’s seat and came around to her side. With strong hands, he lifted her out of the truck. Her arms grabbed onto his shoulders for balance, but she smiled up at him when he continued to hold her in his arms as he walked into his house, kicking the passenger side door of his truck closed with his foot.
“Are you going to carry me all the way through the house?” she teased.
“I might,” he groaned, but he had to stop at the entrance for a moment. She wiggled out of his arms and, reluctantly, he lowered her feet to the ground. His canvas bag and her leather tote were in his hand and he placed his other hand on the small of her back, leading her into the house.
“Are you hungry?’ he asked, dumping their bags by the front door before turning to face her, resting his hands on her hips.
Emily looked around, feeling awkward…but excited. Curious and oddly tense. “I don’t think I could eat anything right now,” she told him honestly.
“Good. Because I don’t think I can wait much longer,” he admitted. Taking her hand, he led her down a long hallway and, just before he pushed open a door, he looked down at her. “I know that I’m moving fast, Em, but rest assured that if you need to stop at any point during this whole exercise, then we stop. Completely and no questions asked. I promised that you’d be in charge and you’re completely in control.”
She smiled up at him, the tension in her shoulders easing somewhat. “Thank you for that,” she whispered to him.
He took a deep breath, then reached behind him and pulled his handcuffs out of the compartment on his belt, handing them to her. He then took off his badge, placing it on the high dresser. . His gun was next and he clicked something on it, checking the safety before he put it into the gun safe in his closet.
Turning back to face her, he extended his arms, wrists out and waited.
Emily looked at his wrists, then up into his blue eyes. “Are you sure about this?” she asked, seeing the muscles in his jaw clench.
Endearing Seduction (The Diamond Club Book 12) Page 6
