by Jerry Cole
I felt the hitch in my throat when I hugged Pamela, and she thanked me for loving her baby. She told me that she would see me at Christmas. Sarah sobbed as she hugged me and I held her to calm her before she jumped into Jamie’s arms.
The flight was minutes away, and I pulled Ryan into my arms, telling him that I loved him. I kissed him sweetly before pulling away to gaze into his shimmering blue eyes.
“I’ll call you later, baby.” I kissed him again and looked at Jamie as she wiped tears from her eyes. I looked at my new family and told them I loved them before taking Jamie’s hand and walking to our gate. If I didn’t do it now, I never would.
We boarded and took our seats in first class, settling our carryon bags. I knew we had a few minutes before take-off and leaned back in the comfortable chair. I shifted and tried to find the best spot, but it wasn’t there. I knew where I was the most content in life and I closed my eyes. “Have fun?” I asked Jamie as she turned to face me.
“It’s so pretty there. I don’t want to leave.” I smiled in agreement. “His family is just so…perfect. I want to go home with them or make them stay here with us. I don’t know.” She was babbling in excitement, but I also heard the tears in her voice. “I’m going to keep in touch with them.”
“I will, too,” I replied as she took my hand. “Was his mom right about there being something between you and Leo?”
“He’s cute, and we were flirting a bit.” I opened my eyes to look at her. “I don’t know. They told me that he slept with anything on the island and to be careful. I just felt like there was something between us.” She waved her hand in the air and I nodded. I sensed it happening but I was too caught up in Ryan to worry about it at the time. I knew that he warned both of them to keep it clean and that was enough for me.
“There could be. Leo isn’t a bad guy at all. He’s just not settled down, and I can’t hold that against him.” Jamie stared at me in shock.
“You’re not going to lecture me?” She asked as I shook my head.
“I might warn you not to fall in love with him. That’s the part that hurts.” I told her as she leaned against my shoulder.
“I can see it with Ryan. You two are couple goals for anybody.” Jamie paused, and we waited for takeoff before settling into the conversation again. I refused to look out of the window and remained in the same position. Jamie wasn’t even looking out like she did on the flight to get here. “You aren’t tied to Venice Beach, Ben. You could move here.”
“You’re in Venice Beach, and that makes it home.” I protested and she laughed softly.
“I’ll be your family no matter where I live.” I knew she was right. “I am making things work with the bakery, and I’m happy. I love you, Ben. I don’t want you to give up anything for me.”
“I need to think that over. A lot.” The flight attendant stopped by to see if we wanted anything, and we ordered mimosas with a small smile at each other. I drank enough to make me feel numb and even fell asleep halfway through the flight.
I woke with the announcement that we were landing and blinked as I looked beside me. Jamie was waking up, and I let my mind drift to the dream that stopped when the voice brought me back to reality. I was with Ryan in our new house, watching the moon shine into the ocean as we held each other.
“We’re home?” Jamie asked, and I nodded before scrubbing a hand through my hair.
“Yeah. Back to reality.” We waited until the plane stopped and walked out to get our luggage as I looked around the familiar airport. I landed here so much over the years and found it overwhelming at this moment. I knew that I would have work and that Jamie would go back to the bakery. We’d both put our souls into the job as we always did but there was a lot to miss now.
I sat in my car an hour later and started the engine. I loved the roar of my old car and looked around the sunny skies as I let her warm up. “Thanks for going with me. It meant a lot to have you there for the holiday.”
“Like it was a terrible place.” Jamie laughed, and I felt something lighten between us. I made my way back to the apartment and took my stuff to my room, looking out of the window at the ocean. I envisioned the house we were making moves to buy and the blue ocean before blinking myself back into reality. I went about my usual routine of unpacking and piling laundry in the hamper before stocking the bathroom with my things.
I bought this apartment when my career took off, and it was perfect for the time. I had a lot of memories of late nights working and the excitement of trips for work. I had countless times with Jamie to think back on and didn’t want to give that up. We made it our home and I needed to give it some time before making any decisions.
She was talking to Kyle when I went back into the living room, and I knew they were discussing opening the bakery back up. Jamie was smiling and I knew the hard worker in her clicked into place as I made my way to the kitchen. I grabbed some water and debated what to do for a moment. I could start some wash and editing while that ran. I still had a small amount of work from the family shoot to complete and there were so many pictures from the last trip. I forced myself back to the room and loaded the washing machine, knowing how talented I was at ignoring it.
Jamie stepped out of the bathroom in her robe as she dried her hair. “Leaving?” I asked as she nodded.
“I’m going to meet Kyle at the bakery to take stock, so we know what to order tomorrow. We’re both a little foggy on work right now.” She was thinking ahead and I wanted to take her back on vacation. I loved this part of Jamie but she deserved to relax sometimes.
“You’ve been here an hour, Jamie. You’re already going to work?” I teased her, and she shot me a sad look.
“It’s what I do, Ben. It is what you’ll be doing within thirty minutes, too, right?” I nodded and we both sighed. She went to her room, stepping back out in worn jeans and a loose t-shirt. “I’ll be back in a bit. Want me to bring something back?”
“That would be great. Can you bring Ryan?” We shared a long look, and she hugged me.
“You guys have something special. It’s going to work out.” Jamie kissed my cheek and left with a sad smile. I took a few deep breaths in and out before going to get a cold beer from the fridge. I knew exactly what would distract me right now.
I had the family shoot completed early, and they were so impressed that they gave me a generous bonus and hired me as the wedding photographer one year from now. I thanked them and told them I’d be honored, smiling as I leaned back.
I called Ryan late that afternoon, knowing he should be home for the night. His phone rang, and he answered after three, his voice drowned out with voices. I felt jealous immediately and remained quiet for a second to regain my composure. “Hi, baby. Are you out?”
“Lani asked me to come to have a drink with her after her shift. She sends her love,” Ryan told me as I smiled sadly.
“Tell her to take good care of you,” I told him and he chuckled.
“A drink, Ben. As in one. I’m not going to need a babysitter tonight.” His voice lowered, and I imagined him in our booth, nursing a beer. “She knew I was feeling a little down.”
“I know. I feel that, too.” I looked over the blue ocean and licked my lips. “Jamie went right to work when we got back, and I turned over the family pictures early. Kind of sad, isn’t it?”
“I didn’t do shit at the shop. I couldn’t focus but Leo put up with me. I’m just going to chat with Lani for a bit to clear my head. I’ll be home in a bit. Early morning tomorrow.” I smiled and imagined him surfing the waves the way I watched him so many times.
“Back to it?” I asked, and he was quiet for a second.
“It’s my thing. It’s normal.” Ryan replied, and I heard a voice in the background. It was Lani telling me that she was thinking of me and wished I were there. I talked to her for a while and told Ryan to call me later, giving him some time.
I thought about the house and looked at pictures of it again. Jamie arrived home with food, and
I closed the screen, getting some more beer for us. She said that everything was ready to go for work in a few hours and that she was going to take a nap after dinner. I told her about finishing the project early and she smiled at the mention of a bonus. “That’s awesome.”
“They also want me to shoot Nathan’s wedding, but that’s about a year from now,” I said and she held her bottle up for a toast.
Understandably, Jamie finished dinner quickly, and I told her that I would clean up while she napped. I tucked the leftovers in the fridge and took my time washing the dishes as I stared at the water. Ryan called when I was in bed out of boredom and he sounded like he had a little more than one beer. He admitted to two but just because he wanted to sleep tonight. We talked for a while and kept saying how much we missed each other. He spoke of the house and I gave short answers, not wanting Jamie to hear me discussing it. We were both excited but we also didn’t know what it meant. I wasn’t planning to move there but I’d have somewhere to stay when I did. Ryan would have a fancy place for him and his family to stay in. We wouldn’t be living there together, at least not yet.
When he told me that he was going to go to sleep, I told him that I loved and missed him. I held the phone in my hand for a moment before setting it on the charger and closing my eyes. I wanted to plan my next trip and hoped that Christmas would work out.
Life started to blend into shoots, editing, and phone calls with Ryan. He was the one that told me we got the house and that I should sign the papers. We had a generous amount that held it for a while but I promised that I’d be there in the next few weeks. After that call, I couldn’t tell anybody. We were trying to think of some plan to surprise everyone but it was proving difficult.
Jamie couldn’t get away easily, and even Ryan’s family needed time to plan. At this time, his mom invited us to the house for a traditional Christmas and a part of me wanted to see New York again during the holidays. I’d done a shoot for a travel magazine a few years ago so I saw it but doing it with my boyfriend would be that much better. The guys usually closed the shop for a week or two if they traveled for the holidays so it wasn’t an issue for them.
Chapter Twelve
Ryan
I thought the house would make us happy, but it only reminded me that Ben didn’t live here. Not yet. It was refreshing to have a place for family and friends if needed and we’d use it when he was here. I tried to think of the perks as I surfed the waves one morning. We agreed not to tell anyone and that included Leo. He knew me well and kept trying to guess.
“What is it?” Leo asked as we sat on the water, waiting for a wave. “You look like the cat that swallowed the canary.”
“Nothing. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I replied as I glanced behind me.
“Are you getting married?” I raised a brow at him and shook my head. Not that I didn’t think about that sometimes, but it wasn’t in the works.
“Are you talking to Jamie?” I shot back, and he groaned. I asked him a lot.
“Yes, we’ve chatted a few times. Why?” Leo demanded, and I smiled. “She’s a great girl.”
“I agree. Has she mentioned coming back to see you?” I asked, and he shrugged.
“She works her ass off at the bakery. When would she be able to leave?”
“Mom wants to do Christmas in New York. Everyone’s invited to that.” Leo’s family lived nearby and we often combined our family holidays.
“Yeah. Mom told me. I’m excited to get back and see some people. I miss that place, you know?” I nodded, and he looked over the water. “This is a tough place to beat.”
“It is. It just feels natural to be here. Going home is always good.” The idea of having Ben there with me thrilled me. I knew that he traveled the world and had seen the city before, but this would be different. He would be at my childhood home and I could show him places that meant the most to me. We could do all of the cheesy Christmas shit that I heard people talk about. I never had that mindset before this.
“Jamie said that she might be there.” I smiled at the mention of her name.
“Ben prefers to spend the holidays with her. She told you that they have a lack of family?” I glanced at him, and he nodded. “It’s hard to imagine that.”
“With the way we grew up, it is. I think we’re lucky.” Leo didn’t get sappy often, and I laughed at him. “Jesus. I see Mom and Sarah and I turned you into a girl.”
He turned around and found a wave, disappearing to catch it. I watched as he sailed into the beach and turned to find my own. We had a shop to open.
Ben told me that he’d be there in a couple of weeks to sign papers and I told myself that it didn’t matter if it was for as long as we preferred. He had some family shoots to do for the holidays and couldn’t spare the time. He was taking a full two weeks at Christmas so we could celebrate New Year's Eve together as well. Jamie was coming two days before Christmas and leaving New Year’s Day at night to get back to the bakery.
I kept in touch with the agent about the house and drove by a couple of times on my own. It was gorgeous and we’d make a lot of memories here. We’d be able to have family here and our friends.
I just wanted it to be our house.
I picked him up at the airport since it was just a two-day trip and pulled him into my arms. He insisted that I wait at the curb since he didn’t have a bag to pick up. I inhaled him and held on tight as the moments flew by. Someone told me to move and we jumped apart, laughing. We hopped into my car and he threw his bag in the back as I started the car. Leo was watching the shop so we could meet up with the agent and take care of the mysterious business I wouldn’t explain. Leo still thought we were getting married.
We drove to the office, and Brett greeted us when we walked through the door. He offered us coffee and we accepted before he handed us piles of papers to sign. We had the cashier’s check ready for him and once everything was signed and the money handed over, he slipped a set of keys across the desk.
“We’re homeowners,” Ben said outside as we walked to the car. “Want to grab some breakfast?”
We ate at a cafe and talked about what we wanted to do for the house. It came with some furniture that we’d keep some of, but we wanted to give it our own style. We both had the money and decided to put it toward something that was ours.
I grinned at Ben as we sat in the car in the parking lot of the diner. “Want to see our house?”
“I do. Let’s go home.” I drove across town and parked in the long driveway, taking in the two-story building before us. Sun shone through the windows, and I smiled, thinking about the beach behind it. “Holy shit. This is ours.”
“Let’s take a look,” Ben said, jumping out of the car and running to the door with the key in his hand. I followed and he unlocked it, pushing the door open as I wrapped my arms around his back. “Look at that view.”
The back was all windows and a large deck that gave us the perfect view of the ocean. “Amazing. I hope I can surf here.” Ben laughed and dragged me across the living room to look over the sand and water. When we had enough of that for a while, we turned to start talking about the house. We wanted to add a couch to the living room, deciding to keep the black leather theme going. The floors were all hardwood and varied in strips of warm color and carried across the entire home. There were rugs placed around to break it up but the wood was best for the beach. I liked it.
We liked everything about the kitchen and moved on to the two bedrooms. Ours would be the master bedroom that was in the corner of the house that overlooked the long stretch of beach. It matched the one down the hall that was only slightly smaller than the three bedrooms upstairs. The house was large but not over the top and perfect for our needs.
I thought ahead to the future when we’d live here full time, maybe have a family down the line. It wasn’t something I considered before, but meeting Ben changed everything.
We finished our tour with a vague idea of what we wanted to do, and then Ben to
ok my hand and led me to our room. “It has a bed and I like it. I want to keep it.”
I looked at the large bed set back against the wall and nodded thoughtfully. “Should we make sure it’s comfortable?”
We broke in the bed roughly the first time. We had all day, and I was going to enjoy the time with Ben. When I was satisfied for the moment, I rested against the pillows and looked out of the windows. “I could get used to this. Nights here and waking up to the sunrise will be nice.”
“Are you going to stay here when I’m in Venice Beach?” Ben asked, killing the mood for me.
“I don’t know. I live close to the shop and my beach.” I didn’t want to make him feel worse about not living here, but I felt him tense beside me. “It will be a great vacation house.”
“So, we’re telling them in a week about it?” I reminded myself that we’d be together for Christmas and smiled.
“Yeah. That’s one of the presents.” I bought a few things for my mom and sister that would fit in a suitcase, but the key will be the biggest surprise.
“I got everyone a few, too. It’s a great distraction for me.”
We decided to stay at the house overnight and went to dinner nearby. Ben seemed quiet, and I glanced at him as I sipped my beer. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. This is a good visit. We have a house.” Ben smiled at me, and I nodded. We had a house, but I wasn’t sure what kind of future that place held for us.
Chapter Thirteen
Ben
It seemed like I just landed before I was in the air again. I had a night and a few hours with Ryan in our house, but it wasn’t enough. There was something off with us this entire trip, and I dropped my head back against the seat.
I knew I’d be in New York in a week with his family for Christmas. I looked forward to this since it was brought up, but something was bringing me down right now. I closed my eyes and dozed during the flight. I had two shoots locally the following week, and then I’d be on a plane all over again.
