by Jerry Cole
“I think so. I mean, it is hard to be apart. But I get to stay here for three more weeks, and I’m going to cherish every moment that I can.” I shrugged, feeling more emotion than I was letting on.
“It can’t be that easy. I see you when you come home, Ben. You bought this incredible house together. You’re building a future while you aren’t.” I closed my eyes and leaned back, knowing that she was right. “Does it hurt worse every time you leave?”
“Of course, I miss him when I leave. That’s obvious. We’re still relatively new and I don’t want to uproot everything.” I needed to make my case with this friend that knew me better than anyone else.
“If you love him, be with him. You can work from anywhere, and this place is fucking beautiful. I don’t even want to leave.” She waved her hand in the air.
“I know it is. I think that every day but there’s so much more to my life than Ryan or this place. That grows every day, and I wish I could be in multiple places at once. Do you understand that?” I asked her, feeling the weight of the day rest heavier on my shoulders. It was supposed to be fun, and I wanted to make the best of her last day, but here we were fighting again.
“I do. I am sad to leave for many more reasons than the fact I’m leaving you. I’m leaving five people that I care deeply about.” She stared forward, looking as though the full force of the truth was hitting her.
“I know. Let’s have a good day and do something fun. I want to do something you would like before the airport. It’s not all bad, Jamie.” I reached for her hand, squeezing it tightly. “There’s so much good in all of this.”
“I know. I just feel the bad right now.”
“Are you two hungry?” Mom asked as she slid the screen open.
“Yeah. Sure. That sounds great,” I replied, so we’d have a moment to regain our composure. She disappeared inside and returned with two plates piled high with bacon and eggs.
“Have you thought about what you’re going to do today?” Mom asked as she walked over to the railing to look out at the ocean.
“Not yet. I’m trying to decide.” Jamie’s voice was shaking, and I looked at her with wide eyes. “I think I’ll just stay here forever.”
“If only.” Mom sighed. “It’s hard to leave, sweetie. I understand that more than anything. Part of me wants to beg Ryan to come home, but he’s happy here. I want him to do what he loves, and that is this place. However, he loves us, Ben and you as well. I think that everything will fall into place as time goes on.”
“I don’t even feel like I want to come back,” Jamie muttered as Mom fell silent for a moment.
“I thought that the first time but I came back. I felt it more the second time, and I came back.” She shrugged. “Life isn’t so easy that we all live close together. The visits are bittersweet, but I leave loving my son more than I did before.” Mom turned around. “Now, I have the two of you to love.”
Jamie started to sob, and I set my plate down to hug her. She shook in my arms, and Mom sat in front of her, whispering words of comfort to her. It took a few minutes, but eventually, Jamie calmed down. Mom smiled at me and went in to reheat our plates as I held Jamie and stroked her hair. “Why can’t our families be more like her?”
“Fucking amen,” I murmured, and we both laughed. Mom brought the food back, and we ate as the air lightened and we discussed what to do. Jamie decided that she wanted to go to a beach across the island that was known for activities and snorkel. She invited everyone to come and we changed into suits and piled into my rental car.
Jamie was grinning as we drove. It made me happy to see her having a good time in her last few hours here. We’d spend a little time in the water and then have time for a quick dinner with everyone. After that, Mom and Sarah planned to say goodbye at the house while everyone else took her to the airport. I needed to say goodbye, and Leo did as well. Ryan probably wanted to be there for both of us.
I watched her every moment of the day while she swam and laughed with the others. Jamie was happy now though I knew she’d probably cry on the flight home. I just wanted her to have happy memories to think about on the flight home. She was somber when we went to the restaurant to meet for dinner but still smiled as Leo remained close by her side. He looked like he lost his puppy the entire night and remained quiet when we dropped Mom and Sarah off at the house. They walked in with Jamie to get her luggage and hugged her goodbye on the front porch. Everyone was crying, and I blinked my eyes closed to hold back my own.
Once we were in the car, I focused on the road. Ryan was driving, and I listened to Jamie and Leo in the back seat as the lights flashed by us. It felt like we just picked her up five minutes ago as we parked in the lot. I stepped out of the car and grabbed her suitcase while Leo took her carryon bag in his hand. He held her hand as we all walked inside, and I reached for Ryan. Leo walked with her to check in her bag and then led her back to us.
He pulled her close as we stood awkwardly in a circle. “I don’t want to leave.” Jamie pouted, and Leo kissed her hair.
“You’ll come back soon. We’ll make sure of that,” he assured Jamie as she stared at me.
“Yeah. We have the house so you can come anytime.” Ryan smiled, and Jamie kept looking at me.
“Absolutely.” I nodded, and she sucked in her breath.
“Okay. I will,” Jamie said as she threw herself into my arms. I hugged her tight with an apologetic smile toward Leo as he watched her.
“Want me to come back for a while in between jobs?” I whispered as she let out a sob.
“No. Stay here with Ryan. I’ll be okay, and we’ll figure this out. Can I call you later?” She asked as pride filled me.
“You can call me anytime you want. I’m always here for you,” I promised Jamie as she held on tightly to me. Ryan hugged her and told her to come back soon. We both stepped back as Leo walked a few feet away with her. They faced each other as she looked up into his eyes. I hadn’t seen Jamie look at a man like that before, and it was bittersweet to watch. Leo leaned down to kiss her and Jamie slid her arms around his waist. They stayed that way until an announcement echoed through the airport regarding her flight. She pulled away and looked up at him before staring at me.
We gathered into a group and hugged each other before Jamie pulled away and wiped her eyes. “I have a plane to catch. I’ll call you guys when I’m home.” She kissed Leo one more time and turned to walk away. We watched her walk toward security and then out of sight, and Leo sighed.
Ryan looked at me and held my hand as we walked back to the car. Leo walked ahead of us with his hands in his pockets, and I looked at him with concern in my eyes. “He’ll be okay,” Ryan assured me as I glanced at him.
“I hope so.” He drove us back to the house, and we weren’t surprised when he walked into the house to get his bag.
“I guess I’ll head home.” He stood awkwardly in the living room as Mom looked at Ryan.
“You can stay here while we’re here. We love seeing you.” She walked forward to hug him, and Leo allowed it. “I love you, Leo. Stay with us.”
I looked away and held my emotions in. “Okay. I’ll stay.” I widened my eyes and looked at him. “I might not be the best company, but I’ll stay.”
We sat around the living room and watched a movie on the huge TV. The guys sipped beer while Mom and Sarah drank wine, and the place was mostly quiet. Leo excused himself to bed first, telling Ryan that he was going to surf in the morning. He went into the room he shared with Jamie and closed the door as I watched him. “Is he going to be all right?” I asked before looking at everyone else.
“Yes. I think he feels something for that girl that he doesn’t understand yet.” Mom smiled. “I always knew that some woman would turn his world upside down. I just wish it weren’t such a difficult situation.”
“She has a business in California. She worked her ass off to get there.” I reminded everyone and frowned. “He’s got one here. Isn’t this going to hurt more than help
?”
“We can’t tell him not to feel. See what happens.” Mom looked at Ryan and me. “You two are together and making it.”
“There’s a part of me that’s thrilled about this. I knew that someone would settle him down, but I didn’t think it would be a long-distance relationship.” Ryan shook his head and finished off his beer. “I suppose I should be a good friend and surf with him tomorrow. He’s done it for me.”
“Good. He needs you.” Mom leaned back and relaxed against the cushions. “So, you both have work the rest of the week?”
Ryan nodded, and I remembered Lisa and Braden. “I have one more shoot with Braden and Lisa, maybe two. They’re leaving at the end of the week, so we’ll probably hang out. You won’t mind, will you?” I laughed at Sarah’s expression and Ryan threw his head back. We stayed up a while talking before everyone started to yawn.
Mom cleaned up the bottles while Ryan locked up the house. We hugged them good night and watched as they headed upstairs. We walked into our room, and he closed the door, walking to the bathroom as I watched him. We changed into shorts for bed, but clothes came off when we slowly made love. I knew it was a release for me for my best friend leaving as much as it was a way to express our feelings to each other. We snuggled close when we finished and I closed my eyes as I snuggled against him.
I didn’t know what would happen with Leo and Jamie, but I hoped for the best. They were both great people and deserved happiness. I worried that Leo might return to his old ways now that she was gone. That was between them, and they were adults. I needed not to get big brother about this.
They got up early to surf, and I told Ryan that I was going to give them time alone. I rolled over for a few more hours of sleep before meeting Lisa and Braden for the shoot. Mom and Sarah planned to stay at the house for the day, and I promised them I wouldn’t be too late.
Today, we were doing a shoot at a five-star resort on the island. There were several places there to get a good photo, and we spent a few hours there before grabbing some lunch at the restaurant. Lisa laughed over drinks at something Braden said as I looked on. They were happy together, and I was glad that I met them. I knew we’d keep in touch as friends once this was all over and they were going to be around at the house before their flight home.
The week flew by with dinners at the house as well as out at local restaurants. Everyone was there most of the time, and it seemed to help Leo through the slump he found himself in after Jamie left. We talked to her often and she sounded like she was strong. She was happy to be back at the bakery and in her element but I thought she might be sleeping when she wasn’t there and nothing else. With her schedule, Jamie didn’t get out a lot and we tended to keep to ourselves.
I offered a few times to come home for a weekend to keep her company, but she assured me that she was fine. I would always hang up feeling guilty, but Ryan reminded me of what I was staying here for.
The last night before the house emptied, we went to one of the best restaurants on the island for dinner. It was Mom, Sarah, Leo, Lisa, Braden, and us, and we got a great table outside overlooking the ocean. We talked and laughed over the meal and a couple of drinks, staying late into the evening. Lisa and Braden were leaving in the morning so we bid our farewells at the restaurant after they gave everyone their contact information. The five of us went back to the house and enjoyed one last movie night before going to bed. We were too tired to stay awake.
We took Mom and Sarah to the airport that evening. Mom insisted on making dinner at the house, and we agreed, knowing that we were going to miss her cooking. We hugged goodbye at the airport, and everyone got emotional as they headed toward security. Ryan slipped his arm around my waist as we walked to the car. The group suddenly felt so small as I looked at the other two guys.
“Are you going to stay at the house?” Ryan asked Leo as we drove back on the main road.
“I admit that it’s weird to go back to my empty place, but it’s your house. Don’t you want to be alone?” He looked at us as we got out of the car.
“It’s cool if you want to stay. You do spend the mornings together,” I laughed as Leo shrugged.
“Why not? I can give you guys the first floor, though.” Ryan laughed as I looked between them.
“Are we loud?” I asked, and Leo shook his head.
“No. It’s just that it’s your place. I can give you space,” He offered, and I nodded. “Oh, and Ben? I’m not going to hurt her.” I gazed at him, and he shrugged as Ryan unlocked the front door. “I know that you saw the way I was or at least heard from this guy. I don’t want that anymore. She’s worth waiting for.”
“She is?” I asked as I raised a brow.
“Completely.”
“Wow. I would never argue that, but I’m glad you see it.” I smiled, and Ryan looked back at us.
True to his word, Leo did stay at the house, but he took one of the upstairs rooms. We all got up the following morning, and I got caught up on running as they surfed. I doubled the miles and met them at the car, panting heavily. “Breakfast?”
We managed to grab a quick meal before they went to the shop, and I headed home to edit photos. Between the professional shoot and the vacation pictures, I had my work cut out for me. I didn’t start the next shoot until the following Monday when we met for lunch at their hotel restaurant. I had the weekend free, and though Ryan and Leo worked; we had the evenings together.
I put together a portfolio for Lisa and sent it Friday night. It was made up of the best pictures, and I wanted to know what she thought. She was already beautiful, but the love between them made the images jump out of the monitor. When the guys got off work, we grilled outside and drank beer. We took a break from surfing and jogging on the weekend.
Chapter Twenty
Ryan
It seemed strange to settle in with just three of us in the house, but we fell into a pattern. We’d get up and head to the beach in the morning, and I’d go to the shop with Leo. Ben would work on photos unless he had a shoot. It was like living together, only I knew he’d be gone in a couple of weeks.
It was going to kill me when he left. A month together was a long time together, and I had no idea when he’d be back.
I thought about that at night when he was in my arms. I tried to realize we were together and enjoy the moment, but there was a countdown in my head. I couldn’t help but think that we were one night closer to his going home.
The week before Ben was heading home, Leo got a call from home. His dad was in the hospital with heart problems and had to fly out as soon as possible. My mom was already there to support the family, but Leo couldn’t be that far away as they waited for him to recover.
“I guess I’m running the store on my own,” I said as I stared at the beach behind our house.
“I’ll help you. I finished the shoot, and I’ll work on the edits when I’m back home. I do ask for a lot of time.” Ben offered as I sipped my beer. I didn’t want to think about that day, but the help would be nice.
“Thanks. It’s been busy. I’ll get a hold of the surf teacher we use and ask for some extra time from him.” I smiled at Ben as he kissed my shoulder.
“Not a problem. I’m sure I can handle ringing customers up.” He did know a bit about the store, so I knew it would work out.
“I wish I could go. I love Leo’s family.” I rested my head in my hands.
“Can you close the store?” Ben asked as I shook my head.
“I probably shouldn’t. We already closed over the holiday.” I set the empty bottle down and looked at him. “I’ll consider it if things go bad over there. He’s my best friend, Ben.”
“You don’t have to explain it to me. Remember Jamie?” He asked as he pulled me against him.
“I am so glad you’re here.” I kissed him, and we fell quiet. We had the house to ourselves for now since Leo was packing. We were taking him to the airport in two hours. “Think we have time before he comes back?”
“Maybe.�
� We locked the house and headed into the bedroom, thoroughly enjoying the time alone in the house. We didn’t have to be quiet or soft, and I grinned as Ben cried out my name. I needed this and as much as it sucked why we would be alone from now on, I would appreciate the time with my boyfriend.
We cleaned up and took Leo to the airport. He was on the phone with his mom, and we watched as he grabbed his bag from the car. Leo glanced at us, and I smiled weakly. “Keep me posted.” Leo stepped forward to hug me and Ben watched with a smile on his face. Jamie was aware of the situation and had been talking to him as much as possible. Leo was supported all around and he forced a smile as he pulled away.
“I’ll call you, man. Send some good vibes with me.” I nodded, and he nodded at Ben. “Take care of him.”
“Always.” Ben held my hand as Leo walked away, and I let out a sigh. This was one of those times that I hated living away from my family and New York. “It’s okay, baby. I’m here.”
“I know. Thank you.” We headed back to the house, and I walked into the house, yawning. We had to be up early for the beach since we were both determined to get the exercise.
“It’s so quiet,” Ben said as we relaxed in bed. The bedroom door was open, and we had the windows cracked to listen to the ocean.
“It kind of sucks, but it’s a little nice. We haven’t been here like this too much.” I smiled at him as he relaxed on his pillows. We went for another round when we were home, and now I just wanted to enjoy a moment with him. We only had a few days left together and working in the shop would make time pass even faster. I didn’t even know if Leo would be back by then and Ben had to have other shoots lined up.
We fell asleep as the house stayed quiet, and I groaned as the alarm went off too early. “We exercised last night, right? I don’t want to get up.”
“I can set the alarm for later,” Ben offered in a throaty voice as he reached over me. He grabbed my phone and held it for a moment before asking if I wanted him to reset it.
