by Lynn Stevens
“I’m sorry, Rachel.” Vicky took her phone and left me alone in the hallway.
I couldn’t believe it. After saying he wanted to get over her, he’d used me worse than anybody. My clutched my hand to my heart and let out a single tear. He didn’t deserve more than that. He didn’t even deserve that. I let anger fill me. I was a Westbrook. Nobody ditched me. I wiped under my eyes and threw my shoulders back. This was my party, my movie night. Adam’s complete assholery was irrelevant.
I thought about getting even. It wouldn’t take much. All I’d have to do was send a quick text to Erik and he’d be over in a heartbeat. I thought hard about it, going so far as to pull up his contact information and actually typing the text. But I didn’t send it. I wanted to change my reputation, not destroy it completely.
Putting on a fake smile, one I’d perfected over the last few years, and strolled into the kitchen.
“Let’s start the movie,” I said, opening the door to the basement.
Everyone followed me down the stairs to the theater. The five rows of stadium seating each had five seats for a maximum capacity of twenty-five people. Dad only wanted the best for family movie nights. Each seat was actually a black leather recliner with cup holders. I turned down the lights and started the first run movie Erik got for me. His mom’s family owned ten local movie theaters, and he always had a copy to share. His dad was a property developer who was well known for revitalizing neighborhoods. We were ten minutes into a movie with one of the Chris’s, I could never remember which was which and they were all super-hot, when the door opened, sending light spilling into the small theater.
“Shut it,” Logan snapped. I had enough of a glimpse to know he wasn’t watching the movie. Neither was Darla. They had a corner all to themselves.
“Sorry,” Adam said as he closed the door fast. He stood in the aisle beside me, not knowing I was there. And I wasn’t about to tell him either. “Rach?”
I ignored him. He shouldn’t even be here after what I saw online. After a few minutes he gave up and sat two rows in front of me by Daniel.
The movie continued, but I couldn’t really see it through the tears welling in my eyes.
Two hours later, the action-packed flick came to an end. The last thing I wanted to do was turn on the lights, but I did. I put on the fake Rachel face and smiled as I flipped the switch. Couples had already broken away from one another except for Logan and Darla. The sudden brightness snapped them apart.
“You got another?” Eva asked, stretching her arms above her head. She glanced back at Logan and rolled her eyes.
“Yeah, let me go get it.” Erik had sent over three, and I picked the one most likely to appeal to everyone. I’d left the other two in the kitchen. “I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll come with you.” Adam stood and started toward me.
“That’s okay,” I said, my voice devoid of emotion. “I’m more than capable.”
His eyebrows furrowed together. I rolled my eyes at his obvious ignorance. How could he think I would know? That I wouldn’t see? Just because I didn’t care about my online status didn’t mean I didn’t look at it occasionally. Well, I mean if someone hadn’t shown me, I wouldn’t have. Some people live online all the time. I don’t. Basketball, spa days, swimming, there’s more to do than stare at a screen. I shook my head and took the steps two at a time. Anything to get away from him faster. I slammed the door and heard a loud oomph.
“Rachel, what’s going on?” Adam asked.
Anger seeped from my pores and I spun around. “Let me see your phone.”
“What? Why?” He reached for me, but I stepped away.
“Let. Me. See. Your. Phone,” I demanded, holding out my hand.
“We’ve been through this before,” he said, but he didn’t give it to me. I wiggled my fingers. This was such a replay of before and this time he wasn’t about to relent. “I don’t know what’s going on.”
“Really? Because you seem to have a knack for humiliating me.” I grabbed the movies off the corner of counter and stormed around him.
“Whoa, slow down.” He touched my shoulder. “Just hold up a minute. We’ve been through this. She lied about texting me. You know this.”
I turned around slowly with my hand out. Adam shook his head and took his phone out of his back pocket, slapping it in my palm. I swiped it unlocked and found the app. My breath stuck in my throat as I opened it to his profile. I held it up so he could see his and Heather’s smiling face, then I slapped it against his chest.
The door creaked behind me as I stared Adam down. His eyes flicked over my shoulder.
“We’re just gonna... go,” Daniel said behind me. I didn’t turn around to look at him or anybody else who was sneaking out. Adam nodded, his phone in his hand at his side.
“Um, thanks for the invite,” Darla said. Her hand fell on my shoulder. “Adam, you’re a dick.”
“My sentiments exactly,” I said, but the heavy weight on my chest wanted a logical explanation for this and why he was late. Was he with her? Was he screwing her brains out while I sat here like a dutiful girlfriend and waited for him? I shook that thought out of my head. I was not a dutiful girlfriend.
“They’re gone,” he said.
It was enough to break the spell. I glanced away.
“I guess they heard us,” he added.
I snorted. “Well, the gig’s up. You got what you wanted.”
“Rachel—”
“Just get out.” My body slumped with exhaustion. I was so tired. Humiliation will do that to you. My head fell as I headed toward the patio. I needed to get away from him and it was the closest escape. “You know the way.”
I opened the door and stepped into the humid August air. It was stifling hot, but I didn’t care. I sat on the lounger and stared at what little stars I could see. One thing I loved about the lake house was the stars. They were so bright down there. Here the city lights drowned them out. I searched for constellations and found the Big Dipper. Mom taught me about constellations. I’d forgotten about that. I’d tried to forget a lot of things.
The sliding door opened then clicked closed. A phone rang in the distance. Adam strolled over to me and the sound grew louder. He held his phone out on speaker.
“Hey, Adam,” a girl answered on the other end. “Long time.”
“Why’d you do it?” he asked his voice tight and his lips thin. His gaze met mine.
“Do what?” she asked.
“Why’d you do it?” he asked again. “Why’d you hack my profile?”
“I didn’t—”
“Bullshit, Heather.” Anger blazed in his eyes.
There was a long pause before she said anything. And the sweetness was gone from her voice. “Did your little bitch see? Is that why you’re pissed? She dumped you?”
“Not even,” Adam said, his gaze never wavering. “She trusts me more than that.”
My chest buckled in as if I’d just been punched there. That was bullshit. I didn’t trust him. At all. I didn’t trust anybody really.
“She doesn’t deserve you,” Heather said softly.
“You don’t get to decide,” Adam said. He closed his eyes. “Please stop lying. Let it go.”
“We were good together.” Tears crowded her voice. “Remember?”
“Yeah, we were, and we aren’t now.” He shook his head and opened his eyes. “That’s all on you.”
“Adam—”
“Stop,” he said. “Just stop everything. It’s over.”
He hit end on his screen without looking. His gaze locked with mine. I didn’t know what to say. There wasn’t anything to say, not really. I should’ve known better after the incident at the lake. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. But I did and I needed to own up to that. I scooted over on the lounger so he could sit beside me. He hesitated, then he sat down.
I took his hand and squeezed. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“For what?” he asked, his voice with an incred
ulous pitch. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
I faced him and smiled sadly. “Yeah, I did. I ... I should’ve asked you about it instead of going all psycho.”
“Maybe, but I would’ve been pissed if the roles were reversed.” He shrugged and squeezed my fingers. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“It didn’t help that you were late,” I pointed out the other thing that pissed me off. “I had to pretend everything was fine on top of it.” I put my head on his shoulder. “It wasn’t fun.”
“Sorry, I got stuck at work.” He kissed the top of my head. “I should’ve texted you.”
I nodded, then I sat up with the sudden realization that this was way too much like a real relationship. There was no reason for me to put my head on his shoulder or for him to kiss me, no matter how innocent.
“We should probably get our stories straight,” I said.
Adam wrinkled his nose. “There’s nothing to get straight. We should tell the truth here. Heather fucked with my profile, it hurt your feelings. And I was a dick who didn’t tell his girlfriend he was running late. Simple enough.”
I nodded. That was the easiest route to take.
“But we have another problem,” he said. “Daniel pointed out that you and I don’t really go out unless it’s to a party with other people.”
“What about when we went to dinner and the custard stand?” I asked, thinking back over our dates.
“That’s the only time.” He shrugged. “We should fix that.”
“I guess.” It wasn’t like we were going on a real date. “Why don’t you come over tomorrow night? We can post pictures on your profile of us having an intimate dinner here.”
“Yeah, and we should probably be friends online too.”
It was my turn to shrug. “It’s not like I post anything, but sure.”
He lifted his phone and thumbed in a few commands. “There. Friend request sent, and I added that we’re in a relationship.”
“Change your password, too,” I said dryly. “Before you get hacked again.”
He thumbed through it again. “Done.” He reached up and touched my cheek. “I really am sorry she did this.”
“I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions.” I turned away instead of leaning into his palm because that would’ve been too real. This wasn’t real. How many times did I need to remind myself of that? “So, tomorrow at seven? We’ll do the candlelight dinner thing on the patio.”
“Yeah, sure.” Adam stood and offered his hand. I didn’t take it, but I smiled and shook my head. “What?”
“You’re too much, you know that,” I said as I stood beside him. “Sometimes...” I shook my head. “I’ll walk you out.”
Adam’s lip quirked. “Too much of me is a bad thing?”
“Come on, Casanova.” I took his hand and tugged him into the house.
“I always thought I was more of a Romeo,” he said as I pulled him through the house.
I rolled my eyes. “If you’d rather commit suicide over a girl, sure be Romeo. But Casanova was a lover of women.”
“Romeo was a one-woman guy; Casanova was a player.”
“A player who lived a long life.” I opened the front door. Logan and Darla jumped apart. “Although Logan’s more of a Casanova.”
“Yeah,” Adam said, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me against his chest. “Guess I should kiss you goodnight.”
I nodded and lifted on my toes. His lips brushed over mine. It was so soft that I almost didn’t feel it.
“Is that how Romeo kissed Juliet?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No, it would’ve been more like this.”
There was no hesitation, but the gentle way he kissed me felt like more than just two people pretending. I didn’t think about it, I just kissed him back with the same restrained passion. When we finally broke apart, Logan and Darla were gone. I smiled sadly and tried to step out of his arms. Even though there wasn’t a reason, he pressed another gentle kiss on my lips.
“Goodnight, Rachel.”
I didn’t say anything as he hopped into his rusty truck. My head swam and my heart chased its tail. Despite repeating how not real this was, it felt very real. I was in trouble.
CHAPTER TEN
I spent the morning playing ball with Tisha and Vina. They apologized for bailing on me the day before. When Vina questioned my concentration, I threw it back in her face. She shut up. Darla and her team didn’t show. I was grateful for that. I’d only invited her over to prove a point, not to give her ammunition against me. My very public fight with Adam was just the type of thing she’d use on the court.
At least I thought so until she sent me a text that afternoon asking about Logan.
He’s a player. I sent the text and put my phone on the charger. It was only four. I still had three hours to kill before Adam came over for dinner, and more importantly, a serious discussion. The fake dinner was more about showing everyone we really were dating, but I wanted to make sure we had a few other “dates” to bring up if people asked. Even if they were all conjured from our imagination.
I grabbed my book and headed out to the pool to get some sun. Joanne had the day off, so I sat near the intercom in case Adam came over early or somebody else showed for whatever reason. I’d checked Dad’s itinerary too. He wasn’t flying back until tomorrow morning. I had the entire house to myself. Unless Angela showed, but I doubted she’d make an appearance. I’d overheard her on the phone with Dad yesterday. She sounded stressed. When Dad was on her case about something, she spent her time at the office. I wished Dad stayed on her case all the time.
After settling into my favorite lounger, I grabbed my book, A Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood, part of Xavier’s summer reading list. An envelope fell out. I picked it up and stared at my name on the front written in Erik’s scratchy hand. I still hadn’t read it. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to read it. Erik’s struggles were his. But he didn’t have to give this to me.
Curiosity got the best of me and I wiggled my finger into the gap to open it. It was a single page. I let it sit, still tri-folded, on my lap. Why did it feel like this was going to hurt me? Erik wasn’t the most delicate person on the planet. He also had a serious anger problem that he was working on. I didn’t owe him anything, but he said he was trying. I should try too. Right? I unfolded the paper and began to read.
Dear Rachel,
This is probably the easiest letter to write. My therapist wants me to do this. I’m not sure it’s a good idea, but he’s insistent. Sometimes it’s easier to just give in, you know? I know you do. I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. That’s why I’m writing to you. It’s not that I was ever pissed about anything involving you, but I was and am grateful. That was harder to write than you could expect.
To be honest, and that’s the point of this exercise I think.Tthis is the fifth draft. It’s difficult for me to express gratitude. I have to think hard for anything I’m grateful for and your friendship is always at the top of the list.
Vicky hurt me more than I wanted anyone to know. But you understood. I loved her. Or I thought I did. I honestly don’t know anymore. Maybe I just wanted her because my parents expected me to be with someone like a Senator’s daughter. I don’t know. I’m working on it, though.
When I needed a friend, you came through. You did more than you should have. You didn’t have to pretend to be my girlfriend. You didn’t have to defend me to everyone or lie about how “close” we were. You didn’t have to fake it. You didn’t have to tell everyone that I broke up with you either. You took so much heat off me. I can’t thank you enough.
I am giving this to you so you would know how much you mean to me. Even though I’m going to ask the same friendship from you, I feel like you need to know you’re more valuable than just a rebound. You’ve done it for me, and I’m sure you did it for Matt Sisk last spring for Prom and Lee Bansfield before that. If you say no, I understand. You deserve to be happy too. I hope
you are. I want you to be.
Forever your friend,
Erik Perday
Tears rolled down my cheeks. I expected something less sincere, not a heart punch. If Erik showed this side of himself, he’d be happier. His parents expected him to lead society, but Erik wasn’t that guy. He confided in me during our fake relationship. He hated baseball and only played because his dad played in college. It was the same with soccer, hockey, and basketball. Our school didn’t have teams and anyone who wanted to play had to join a rec league or travel teams. I read through it again. He really wasn’t the asshole he pretended to be. I hoped one day he’d show the world that.
I finished grilling the chicken. With Joanne off, dinner fell to my shoulders. I didn’t mind it. Cooking could be fun. Plus, it kept me busy while I waited for Adam. I set the steaming meat on a cutting board and let it cool. Carefully wiping my hands on an apron and not my perfect-for-photos powder blue sundress, I started slicing the tomatoes from our garden. Joanne enjoyed cooking with fresh veggies she could pick instead of going to the store every day. Dad didn’t argue when she revived Mom’s garden. I think he was glad to see it again.
After slicing cucumbers, onions, and peppers, I cut the chicken into bite-size pieces. I put everything into individual bowls then set the patio table with nice linen and a few citronella candles. The effect was perfect with the pool behind it. The sun was still up, but the trees of the Westbrook estate blocked the heat. The ceiling fans outside helped cool the area to a comfortable temperature. The scene was perfect.
Adam buzzed the gate. I let him in and met him at the door. His gorgeous eyes widened when he saw me. My heart swelled, and I twirled to flare my skirt. Adam’s grin widened. I wanted to lean up and kiss him, show him that I was all his. This felt like a serious date. I shook that thought out of my head. It was foolish and dangerous.
“You look beautiful,” he said as he leaned down.
I laughed it off and moved before he could kiss me. Kissing was off the table since nobody was around. Kissing was not a good idea, but I wanted it so much. I reigned in my libido. It was necessary keep my distance to a degree. I didn’t look at him as I lead the way to the kitchen.
