Foretold Heart

by Camille Oster

  "You don’t know what you’re saying."

  “Yes, I do. I want to know what can be. I want to be brave.”

  “You wish to force my hand?”

  “No, not at all. I am here utterly without any expectations. I am simply here because I want to be. And I am taking full responsibility for that.”

  What he hadn't expected was a beaming smile. Maybe this forthrightness, this lack of fear, was what had always attracted him to her, and now it was in full force. This was bad, very bad. All he wanted was to draw her into his arms for another kiss, one that made his mind melt with sheer sweetness. Glorious softness and heady desire. Just one more kiss. No, he must not.

  Chapter 32

  WITH AN EXHALE BRITHENEY moved away and Sylvia bit her lip. For a moment, she’d thought they would kiss again and she had ached for the warmth of him, the feel of him along her body. There was something so very compelling there, something she knew instinctively felt right.

  Standing with his hands on the mantle, he exhaled deeply, then groaned. "How did you even know I was here?"

  "Uhm," she said, trying to draw her mind away from the kiss. "Ah, I think a friend of Prudence Wilcox saw you arriving, who told Prue, who told Annabel, who told me when she came to visit this afternoon."

  "All this in one afternoon?"

  "Deceptively, it really is a small town when it comes down to it."

  "And you take a risk to come here. How will you deal with it if someone has seen you?"

  "They have not. You took a similar risk when you kissed me at the ball. How were you going to deal with it if we were caught then?"

  "I didn't think we would be."

  "But if by chance we had been?"

  He was silent for a moment, not looking at her. "I would have ensured no harm came to you."

  "How? How could you possibly undo something like that? You have to understand why I wavered a little. Because your status and position can't simply undo something like that. Did you believe that if you asked them not to tell anyone, they wouldn't?"

  "I'm not quite that socially unaware," he said.

  "And I am sorry I wavered, but you have to admit that from a certain perspective it did seem as thought you took my security lightly. Right now, I have made the choice with my security and I will bear the risk, but I have chosen that."

  Silence pierced the room. Did he understand the harm he could have done her? It was one thing apologizing for how she'd responded, but she needed to make sure that he wasn't entirely indifferent to her wellbeing. That one act had caused so much trouble—but it had also been utterly wonderful and introduced her to something she wasn't sure she wanted to be without again. "I have to understand where you stand," she finally said quietly. “It seemed for a moment as if you didn’t care about my wellbeing. That was how I perceived it, and I admit that I doubted.”

  The silence continued and Sylvia started to doubt herself again. Perhaps it had been a mistake coming here. How was it dealing with him had turned into a thing of such lofty heights and such drastic lows? They shifted between in the space of seconds.

  “Is that how you think of me?”

  “No,” she said. “All I am saying is that I wavered for a moment.”

  Finally he turned to face her. "If we were caught, I would have offered for you."

  Sylvia blinked, trying to wrap her mind around what he'd just said. He would have married her if they had been caught? That was… She didn't even know how to deal with that, both blushing and being angry at the same time. "Does marriage mean that little to you that you will gamble with it?"

  A tight smile moved his lips. "No, it does not," he said, and that was all he said. She wanted to shake him. What did he mean?

  "Alright," she said, speaking slowly. "Well, I suppose I should say thank you for considering such an extraordinary sacrifice in response to a risk you embarked on."

  "Well, I saw it more as a short cut to a natural evolution."

  "Evolution," she repeated, not quite grasping what he was saying. She knew what he was saying, but she refused to fully confront it, because all this sadness and loss seemed so stark in that light. He had been considering marrying her? Seeing it as a natural evolution? She couldn’t really wrap her mind around it. Then she blushed deeply, hating that she kept on doing that. "So you are saying you expected that perhaps over time… "

  "Yes," he said, again avoiding her eyes.

  "Oh," she said. "But you clearly gave up on the idea."

  "I…" he started, "felt that it perhaps be best."

  "I see," she said, shifting away, feeling as though she needed some air. This conversation had gown much deeper than she had expected. Or had she? Why had she come here? Because he was here and she wanted to catch him before he disappeared again. And they had kissed, and still they seemed so very far apart. "Well, I am sorry for injuring you. Perhaps I should go." She had said what she'd felt she needed to say. They had kissed—again. What more was there to say?

  He didn't say anything for a moment and Sylvia's heart sank. It could be that there was nothing to salvage here. It hurt, but everything about him seemed to hurt. Technically, she didn't want to leave, but it hurt her pride to stand there too. Searching her mind, she tried to think of something else to say, but couldn't think of anything. "You don't need to stay away from London on my account. I will be completely cordial and civil."

  A small growl of frustration came from him. "Miss Bellworth," he said sharply as she was just about to turn away. "I am not a man well-versed with social graces."

  Well, they were well beyond social graces here. There was nothing appropriate about any of this.

  "I am also not a man who kisses girls lightly. I do not do flights of fancy."

  Now she wasn't entirely sure what he was referring to.

  "Why did you come here?" he demanded.

  "Because I wanted to see you. I have missed you and I wanted to know you were alright. I wanted to settle things between us."

  "Why?"

  "Because I don't like you being absent from my life. I treasure our friendship."

  "That kiss was not about friendship."

  "Well, I don't exactly know what lies beyond friendship. I have no experience with such things."

  "But you want what lies beyond friendship?"

  This was inordinately painful to admit, but it was true. "Yes."

  "Because if you stay tonight, I can more or less guarantee that you will find out."

  An exhale shuddered through her body. It was both what she wanted to hear and was also too afraid to face, because she wanted it, irrespective of the consequences. She wanted what lay down the path that kiss was drawing her toward. Desire tugged at her mind and her body.

  There was a part of her mind that said she should leave, that this desire was foolish, but it was inextricably linked with him. She had never and probably would never feel like this again. This was her one chance to be brave, to risk it all.

  "Then I will stay," she said. Now was the time she needed to show her bravery.

  He blinked, then closed his eyes. "You may be the death of me, Miss Bellworth, because I seem to have few defences against you."

  Slowly, he walked closer and Sylvia felt her heart race. His eyes watched her and then he leaned down and claimed her lips. Gloriousness enveloped her the moment their lips met. His arm snaked around her and held her to him.

  Something in her needed this, and needed him to show her what they could be together.

  His tongue teased along her lips, then plunged deeper into her mouth. It meant something that she felt no fear, didn't it?

  Breaking the kiss, his lips traveled down her neck. She was so incredibly warm. Heat coursed through her body, escaped out her lips as she breathed. The tips of his fingers stroked down the other side of her neck and then lower, down her neckline, skimming inside her dress so they stroked the top of her breast. They shook as they moved.

  Every breath felt labored, but she only wanted more. H
er head fell back and she marvelled in how wonderful it felt. Heady and luscious. The buttons at the back of her dress gave way, as did the restriction of the fabric.

  He kissed her shoulder as he drew the top of her dress and the shift underneath down past her shoulder. Her breath held as he revealed her. Her nipples were achingly hard and sensation drowned her as his mouth closed around one of them, his tongue swirling to tease it. Her insides drew together and pulsed with the pleasure of it, growing both heat and tension inside her.

  This was beyond anything she could have imagined. The dress and shift dropped down past her hips, leaving her in her drawers.

  "You're so beautiful," he said, his voice coarse and raspy. Straightening, he kissed her again, and the fabric of his shirt stroked along the sensitive nubs. She could feel hardness further down, hardness that had been the subject of many secret and whispered discussions. It came inside her, joined with her and she wanted it—wanted every part of him.

  With her lifted up to him, he walked them to the sofa nearby and he lay her down. As if her body knew what to do, her knees lifted to cradle him, the hardness of him pressing to where she burned the most.

  "Are you sure you want to do this? There is no going back once it is done."

  "Yes," she said breathily. There wasn't anything in her that could make her stop now even if she wanted to. Her body was on fire, her drawers were wet. Some remedy to this ache had to be achieved.

  Sitting back, he drew his shirt off. "Touch me," he said and led her hand to his chest. "Explore."

  Her hand travelled along each plane and curve, working its way down to where she was almost too afraid to touch. He inhaled sharply as she touched the hardness through his breeches and his eyes lost focus. She was giving him pleasure by touching him and it was fascinating.

  "I want it all," she said as she felt his body tightening and he opened his eyes. Leaning back on the sofa again, she unbuttoned her drawers with shaky fingers. His eyes followed her fingers, but he had to help her get the drawers off, because her legs were tangled around him.

  "It hurts the first time," he said. "We don't have to. There are other things."

  "I want to."

  "There will be no going back."

  She nodded and he shifted to help her off with her drawers, leaving her utterly naked. Surprisingly, she loved being naked in front of him, loved how his eyes roamed her. Slowly, he undid his breeches and pulled them down, discarding them until they were both naked. His manhood was stiff and proud, standing from a thatch of curls. He was utterly beautiful.

  Shifting again, he joined her, positioning himself at her entrance and then slowly pushed in. It was the most curious feeling and then pain pierced through her. It wasn't so bad. Not as bad as she'd expected. And now it was done. She was no longer a maid and now a woman.

  The pain was gone as he was fully enveloped inside her. His body, his skin, the fullness of him inside her, it was the most decadent thing she could ever imagine.

  "Oh," she said when he moved, the sensation a revelation. Deep inside her, pleasure was building and she angled her hips to receive him better, intensifying the pleasure. "Oh my."

  "Let it claim you," he said and he rose up on his arms, allowing him firmer, harder strokes. The sensation inside her built fiercely, and she simply marvelled that he could make her feel so.

  Each stroke grew harder, as did the strain in his body. "Sylvia," he uttered. So much happened at once. He arched and ground into her, the pleasure inside her pulsed fiercely, she didn't know what to do. It flared through her body again and again. Deep groans ripped through his throat, mirroring the sharp pulses.

  As the fierceness subsided, his body sank down on hers, pressing her down. Her body was like a furnace, it was producing so much heat. "That was marvellous. Wonderful. Can we do it again?"

  "Not yet," he said, his voice slightly muffled as he kissed the crook of her neck. "But yes."

  Staring at the ceiling, she admired at what they had just done. It was utterly fantastic. How could anyone say differently? And they were going to do it again. She wanted to do it all night. Although by the look of it, it did seem more taxing for him than it was for her.

  Chapter 33

  LYING IN BED, FELIX TRACED his fingertips along Sylvia's arm. It felt lush lying in bed like this, just embracing. They had moved upstairs. Sylvia's eyes were closed, but she wasn't asleep. If she regretted what they'd done, she didn't show it. He didn't want her to regret it. It had been beautiful.

  "How about we elope?" he asked and he felt her stiffen somewhat.

  "Are you saying you want to marry me?"

  "Well, this night wouldn't have proceeded unless it had been on my mind. I would have thought it would have been on your mind too."

  "Yes," she admitted. "This is where I want to be. But I would have taken just this if it was all that was on offer."

  Sighing deeply, he lightly stroked her arm again. This was the most at peace he'd felt in he couldn't remember how long. Simply to give her up for the night seemed too hard a task, let alone a whole month for the marriage bans to be posted. Once their engagement was announced, it would prove impossible for her to sneak over here, because they would both be closely watched.

  "I do not wish for a wedding," he said. The idea of a hundred or two hundred people sitting there and staring at them conducting their most private sentiments was unbearable. "Is it something you really wish?" If it was truly important to her, he would have to do it.

  "You would prefer to steal off to Gretna Green? It is a little sordid. Everyone will assume I'm pregnant."

  "You might be."

  Her mouth formed a little circle, but no sound came out. The idea of a child wasn't something he had actually thought about before. Obviously it was a natural consequence, and formed an important part of his duty, but he also wished to keep her to himself for a while. And in his mind, he didn't see them together just now here in London. He wanted them away from here, again so there would be no interference.

  "My parents would never forgive me," she finally said.

  "Then let's bring them along. And there are much more exciting options than running up to Scotland."

  "Bring my parents along for when we elope? Not really the done thing. It would make it less scandalous, I suppose. More of a small impromptu wedding, rather than an elopement. And if not Scotland, where do you have in mind?"

  "Well, I have no family, so there is no issue there, but we could bring together yours. How about Bavaria?"

  "Elope to Bavaria?" she said with a smile.

  "We can find your brother and your friend, and together with your parents have a small wedding. Make an adventure of it. Then we could all go our separate ways after."

  "And where would we go?"

  "Italy would be the logical destination. Maybe Vienna. Venice. We could do both."

  "It does sound very exciting. I would love to see Venice. Vienna too."

  "We could leave in the morning."

  "That is hardly much notice."

  "We're eloping. Giving notice defeats the purpose."

  "I suppose."

  "So do you agree?" he asked.

  "How could I refuse such an offer?" she said, smiling broadly. Felix just studied her for a moment. She was his bride, his wife, his future. They would be happy together. She was by far more socially adaptable than he was, which wasn't perhaps a bad thing, but she also seemed to understand and accept his limitations. "Yes, I accept."

  Suddenly, she got up. "There is so much that needs doing. What dress should I wear? My dusky pink silk is my nicest. And we must pack. How long will we be gone for?"

  "It is best to travel with as little as possible," he said. "We can purchase anything we need."

  "True. Mother will be beside herself."

  Outside the window, the merest hint of light started showing. He had to get her back home, or there would be scandal. It wasn't something he wished for her to deal with, even if they were married in a few d
ays. The carriage would attract too much attention.

  "We must get you back," he said.

  "Yes," she said absently, still pre-occupied with planning.

  As quickly as he could, he dressed and helped her with the buttons at the back of her dress. The house was utterly quiet as they left his room.

  "The next time you come here, it will be to stay," he said and she paused to look at him. "Lady Britheney."

  "It is a big thing we are embarking on."

  "Are you having second thoughts?"

  She shook her head. "Are you? You were the one intent on never seeing me again only yesterday."

  It wasn't surprising that it should seem a remarkably quick change from her perspective. "I was hurt and seeing you would hurt, so I decided to not see you. I got an understanding of the opinion you had of me and what I saw as your lack of faith pierced me to the very core. I would not stay here and watch you form interest in some other man, and worse, to go on and marry him. I simply couldn't bear it."

  "I never had that opinion. I simply wavered because… I would hurt terribly if what I felt turned out to be based on deception. I listened to the wrong person."

  He considered her words for a moment. They had both turned their backs based on the same fear, and worriedly sought evidence of it and had found it through misguidedly reading each other's actions. "We must promise never to make such assumptions without speaking to each other about what bothers us."

  With a smile, she nodded.

  "Will you be requiring Miss Bellworth's cloak?" Mr. Croft asked from the darkness of the main hall as they stood on the stairs. How early did his servants rise?

  "Yes, she will be returning home. Also I am leaving for a while on short notice. I can't really say how long we will be gone."

  "'We', my lord?"

  "Myself and Miss Bellworth. And probably her parents too."

  "Very good, my lord." If Croft was surprised, it didn't show in his tone. "Shall I call a hack?"

  "No, I will walk Miss Bellworth home. Have the carriage sent around ten, with my trunk, if you please, Mr. Croft."