by Pepper Paris
Wade ran a hand through his hair, “Look, I get it. If you push her away then you’re just making things happen a little faster than they would have. Once you open up to her then you’re not going to be able to go back to standing in the shadows. It’s going to be an all or nothing kind of deal, right?”
I just nodded.
“I’m guessing that you enjoyed the blowjob, do you like waking up with her beside you? Isn’t that what you want to happen for the rest of your life?” Wade got to the heart of my problem.
“Physically, she makes me nervous. I always feel like I’m going to do the wrong thing and then she won’t like me.”
“Stop. If she wasn’t going to like you, then she wouldn’t be planning to clean your house for you mom. Most girls don’t go down on a guy they don’t like. Heck, other girls won’t go down on a guy even if they love him. So you don’t have to worry in that department. Roxie is doing exactly what she wants to do.”
Everything Wade said made sense and added to the layer of guilt I had about disappointing her.
“She’s been so worried about you. So I’m checking in to make sure that you’re going to be okay. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I think so.” I frowned.
“It’s not your dad that you’re overthinking, right? It’s just the girl you want to make sure that you hold onto right?”
I gave a slight nod.
“Good. Now, that I know what you thinking it’s a lot easier to deal with how to fix things.” He got a mischievous grin on his face, “If you knew in a perfect world that you could marry Roxie and she would be yours forever, would you do it?”
My head snapped up. “Of course.”
“Ha, I thought so. Nothing is ever going to be perfect, but you have to enjoy what you do have. You have Roxie, but if you keep doing all of this you’re not going to be able to do anything with it. I’m going to bet that your mother had no idea when she went out for a walk all those years later that she might lose your dad. Do you think she shouldn’t have married him? Maybe should have waited to see how things were going to turn out?”
“God, Jay. You’ve got to the take the freaking leap of faith and go all in. Don’t let us or whatever your head is telling you, stop you from following your heart. She’s worth it and we’re just the extra-bonus package you get for free.”
“Geeze, now when you say that I feel like such an idiot. Thanks, man. Can we finish getting these lights up?” I smiled jumping to my feet and holding a hand out to help him up.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
------
Chapter 6
Roxie
Sarah’s car was in the drive when I pulled up. After an hour of being in alone, I desperately needed someone to vent to about all of the stuff over the past few days.
As I opened the door, I called out to make sure she wasn’t doing some guy in the back room. Normally, I just walked into the house we shared because she kept all that stuff in the bedroom so my eyes weren’t assaulted by some guy’s junk, but she wasn’t expecting me home and might have gotten a little carried away.
“Sarah are you alone?”
“In here, and yes, I’m alone. Are you trying to make me feel bad?” She yelled from the back bedroom.
“Nope, just protecting my interests.” I yelled back as I went toward her voice.
“What…” She lowered her voice as she realized I was in the open doorway, “are you doing home?”
“Mrs. Marsh sent us all out to getaway for a while. Wade volunteered to check in on Jay’s thoughts while they put up the Christmas lights. If Mr. Marsh is able to go home, he didn’t want anything to be different than normal.”
“Normal.” Sarah snorted, “That’s a good one.”
“Well, as normal as they can with him having a heart attack. Jay doesn’t want his dad to worry about all the things he was supposed to do and it will give him a chance to do something. He’s been worse than the patient lying in the bed.”
“Not going well between you then?” Sarah grinned over the top of her magazine. “Another subscription boy about to be canceled before he expires?”
I moved her feet over and hopped onto the end of the bed. “How many times do I have to tell you they don’t expire? They just get better with age.”
“Sounds like this one might not make it to the permanent marker stage.”
“He’s just shyer than the others. I left him alone up there and the only person he had to talk things over with was his own brain. Come on, if you were alone wouldn’t you doubt it when a friend says they love you, but they’re sleeping with your friends?”
Sarah tilted her head slightly and twitched her nose, “I could see where that might be a problem. Not that you’re doing that, sleeping with his friends without him knowing, but doesn’t he trust you?”
“Yes, and I’ve tried to include him as much as possible. He just tends to take everything personally and internalize it. If I said the sky is blue, he’d start looking for what I might have meant and were those just a code for something?”
“I’d have dropped him like a hot potato long ago. He’s too much work.”
I raised an eyebrow in her direction as she could also be describing herself. “You know not everyone should be tossed to the side. I happen to love him which means that I want to work through his issues until they’re not issues anymore.”
“Haven’t you heard that you’re not supposed to fix the ones you love? They’re supposed to change because they want to and it’s the right thing.” Sarah laughed when I swatted her leg.
“He’s not supposed to change. I just need him to accept that what we have is the real deal.”
“And if he can’t?” She left the question hanging there.
“Then we’ll just have to work something out.”
“You should certainly try to spice things up in the bedroom because that always fixes the problem.” She pointed to the magazine in her hand as proof.
“Right here, they say that adding a little kink can help build trust with your partner in and out of the bedroom.” Her wink took the seriousness out of her words.
“So did you find someone?” I moved the conversation to a slightly safer topic. Although, asking Sarah about anything to do with sex couldn’t be consider safer normally.
“Yes and no.”
“They’re having a New Year’s party, but it’s invitation only.”
“How do we get an invitation to something like that?” I really didn’t want to wait that long, but if I had to then I’d make the most of it.
“First you have to have someone that’s considered trustworthy to invite you lunch. They call them munches. If you don’t freak out or run screaming from the room when you meet everyone, then a sponsor can take you to one of the local group gatherings where they play while you just watch sometimes you might be asked to join if the person directing the scene has prior knowledge you might be up for it. The sponsor would be responsible for your actions and would have to make sure you understood all of the rules.”
She eyed me as she continued to explain, “It can be pretty intense. Some of the scenes going on might not be your kink which is okay, but you should know what you’re boundaries are before you go in.”
“Boundaries? What kind of boundaries?” I must have looked confused because she went back BDSM dos and don’ts 101.
Sarah dropped the magazine and leaned forward.
“All right suppose that you were to just walk in there without a guide, a single woman is immediately swarmed by all the guys hanging around. What happens when they start touching? If they ask you are here with someone and you answer no, then they are going to assume that you are there for them to take care of you.”
A small squeak escaped me.
“Now, not all places are like that which is why you want to make sure that you get into a good place where they respect you. No one would try anything as long as you know what you’re boundaries are. A few slime buckets always get
through all the vetting, but normally a good group of people will keep an eye out for any signs that things aren’t going well.”
“How do you know all this from just a few weeks of dating one guy?” I stared at her incredulous.
“Well, he took me in to show me the ropes. I saw what happened when a married couple came in and the poor guy had no idea what the rules were. He tried to spank a woman doing a scene.” Sarah cringed at the memory, “Thankfully the DM took over and handled the situation, but it could have gotten out of hand.”
“I thought that was the idea of going to a club like that was to get spanked? How many rules are there for going to a club thing?”
“There are two types of groups, a club type setting that is open to the public as long as the rules are followed and then there are the more private groups and sometimes clubs where you have to be a member or the guest of one to get in.”
She smiled, “Yes, spanking is allowed, but only by the one doing the scene. It’s considered rude to interact with someone doing a scene if you weren’t invited. Most of the time, the things going are on for others to watch while the main parties get their enjoyment off others watching them.”
I gulped nervously, “Now, I’m afraid to go to anything in case I make the wrong move.”
“Nah, it sounds a lot worse than it is, but you don’t want to ruin someone else’s evening just because you haven’t done you’re research. Everything has rules, these are not just for your safety, but the safety of everyone.”
“It makes sense. It’s just a lot to process.”
“True, but when you have a group with people that are submissives who are told to obey any commands given, you have to make sure the people giving the commands are aware of the responsibility they hold.”
Something suddenly came to me. “Sarah, are you a member of one of these groups? You sound like you know a lot more about being a member then most people.”
She gave me a sheepish look, “You might say that I could get you an invite, but it would have to be on the basis that you did everything I said. Right now, I wouldn’t feel comfortable taking you and Jay into that kind of place because he doesn’t know what he wants yet.”
“Talk to each other and see what you like that kinky. He might need to be someone in control, but that doesn’t mean that he has to become a Dom to do it. There are other ways to play that don’t involve going to group things. He’s really shy and I just wouldn’t feel comfortable with it yet.”
“You’re right. I wouldn’t even know what boundaries we would need before we did something like this. I’m going to need to do some more reading.” I hopped up off the bed.
I’d almost left the room when she snapped her fingers.
“Also remember that, the first rule of the kink club is that there is no kink club. Whoever you see or whatever you see, doesn’t get talked about. It’s the quickest way to get banned going to any type of group thing in the future. The people who join these kind of groups have a lot to lose professionally and personally if someone were to go talking about their sexual preferences.”
“Right,” I nodded, “But can I still ask questions about the club that doesn’t exist?”
She let out a laugh, “Yep, I’m here to answer any and all of your kinky questions.”
“Great. I’ll be sure to let the guys know.” I winked at her leaving her with a shocked look on her face.
I wasn’t about to tell the guys any of this because they’d be asking her all sorts of things and then expecting me to do it. That was not about to happen so it was best if they didn’t even know that Sarah had a secret sex life.
--------
When I got back to Jay’s house with groceries and enough clothes to last a week, it appeared that the guys had gotten all of the lights up. I had barely opened the trunk when they came out to help me carry things inside.
Wade greeted me with a kiss and grabbed a handful of stuff while Jay stood nervously to the side. I took the initiative and place a quick peck on his check taking the indecision out of the equation.
He collected the last few bags in his arms and shut the trunk, “I got to talk some things through with Wade.”
“That’s great. Do you feel better?”
“A little. What are we making for dinner?” He tried to peek into the bags to see if they held any clues.
“You’ll just have to wait and see.” I said playing with him.
“Can I help?”
“Sure. Having someone else helping in the kitchen is always a great idea.” Surprised a little that he volunteered, I was relieved when Wade brought the rest of my things in.
“Jay, where should I put Roxie’s stuff?”
“Oh, I’ll take them up to my room.” He walked over and took the bags from Wade as I started putting the groceries up.
“Well?” I asked quickly hoping to get an update before he came back downstairs.
“He’s on the right track. Just keep being you and I think he’ll make it.” Wade slid an arm around me catching me between the refrigerator and the counter with my hands full of milk and juice.
This was typical Wade, as he distracted me from what I was doing by placing a trail of kisses down my neck.
I hadn’t heard the door from the garage open, but a loud thump had me jerking away from him.
Craig stood in the doorway confused as Jay walked back into the room with Wade still holding me.
“Aren’t you dating her?” He looked back and forth between us.
“Yes,” I answered for him, wiggling out of Wade’s arms and placing the stuff in the fridge. “I’m dating both of them.”
Wade snickered and popped at his head with my hand in a playful motion before walking around to Jay.
“Actually, I’m dating the four guys, Jay, Kelly, Carter and Wade.”
I laughed as Craig’s mouth dropped open in shock.
Ignoring him, I took control and rubbed up against Jay as my mouth took possession of his lips.
He didn’t protest, but a moan escaped as he accepted it. I broke away flushing at the intensity of those few moments.
“Guess, I shouldn’t be worried after that display.” Craig took seat at the counter watching us closely.
“Nope,” Jay answered with a huge grin on his face, “after being gone for so long we have a little catching up to do. We’ve just been concentrating on Dad.”
Wade started putting groceries up where I’d left off. “We finished putting the Christmas lights on the house just a little bit ago and were about to fix dinner if you want to join us.”
Craig’s expression was comical.
“He’s not asking you to join us in the bedroom, just for dinner.”
“Oh,” Craig seemed relieved, “that would have just been weird.”
“Yeah, we might like to share within our group, but it’s only between us.” Jay explained.
I shot Wade a hopeful look. Jay might just want to stay part of us. I realized that going to a kinky club even to learn stuff just wasn’t something that we would be comfortable with because we didn’t share.
“Is Noah going by the hospital to stay with mom?” Jay came around the corner and finished putting the last stuff up as I got out a few cutting boards for the vegetables.
“He didn’t mention it. I can run some dinner up there to her and hang out until visiting hours are over.” Craig gave us a meaningful stare, “In fact, I can let him know not to come home and that will give you a few hours of privacy. You know to do whatever you need to without us hearing you.”
“Thanks, but I’m going to hit the road after dinner.” Wade explained.
“No, you’re not. It’s a six hour drive in the dark. You need to be fresh when you do that. Mom won’t care if you stay over.” Jay pipped up as he washed the carrots and tomatoes.
“Really?” He straightened and stopped looking through cabinets for mixing bowls.
“Yeah, it doesn’t make sense and we haven’t gotten to hang out in a while. I�
�ve missed it.” Jay moved to the cabinet next to him. “Here you go.”
He clapped Jay on the shoulder, “Thanks man.”
They made me smile so much when they were getting along.
“Okay, unless you two are a thing as well. I’m going to go in the other room away from all the love in the air.” Craig made a disgusted face as he got up to leave.
It started as a small snicker and turned into uncontrollable laughter as we all three watched him disappear.
“Well, I guess you don’t have to worry about coming out to your family with fact that you’re girlfriend has more than one boyfriend?” Wade spoke trying to catch his breath as we all calmed down.
Jay looked at the empty doorway, “Guess, it had to happen sometime. Just hope mom and dad can handle it.”
“Eh, as long as you’re happy, I’ll bet they’ll be okay with it.” Wade placed the mixing bowl on the counter. “Now, what are we doing with all this stuff?”
“I’m throwing a cobbler together to cook while we make dinner which is lemon pepper chicken and vegetables. It should take about an hour to cook.”
“Ooo, I want to do the veggies. I’ve been experimenting with stuff and need an audience to try it out.”
“Huh? When did you start cooking?”
“You know it was boring up there. I had to eat and it wasn’t like I had lots of people to hang out with so I started buying groceries and cooking. It was cheaper and I could take the left overs for when I was at work.”
“Honey, I’m so impressed. I mean I never really thought about it because I already cook and Sarah would get a bee in her bonnet on occasion to do something, but it makes sense.”
He shrugged, “I enjoyed it. Someone recommended a site with tons of recipes so I tried and then it just grew from there.”
“Well, I’m putting you on kitchen duty with me for future reference. Wade is horrible at cooking. Now, he can order out to perfection, but it’s not the same a home cooked meal.”
“Horrible?” He acted hurt, “I’ll have you know, I take those meals right out of the containers and place them onto the places with perfection.”
