All Rhodes Lead Here

by Zapata, Mariana

  “I was… processing a bull—”

  I must have made a face because one corner of his mouth hitched up a tiny bit.

  “An elk. A male elk, and my knife slipped.”

  “Ouch. Did you have to get stitches?”

  His other hand came over, hovering just above mine—and oh, was it a warm palm—before his index finger swept over the scar too, brushing the side of my finger in the process. “No. I should have, but I didn’t. Probably why it healed so bad.”

  I didn’t want to move my hand, so I stretched my pinky finger and touched a tiny scar on his knuckle. “And this one?”

  Rhodes didn’t move his hand either. “Fight.”

  “You got into a fight?” I squawked, surprised.

  Yeah, the side of his mouth went a little tighter, just a little higher. “I was young.”

  “You’re still young now.”

  He huffed. “Younger then. Johnny got into a fight when we were in high school, and Billy and I jumped in. I don’t even remember what it was over. All I remember was splitting my knuckles and bleeding all over the place. It took forever to stop,” he told me, moving his finger just a little, brushing mine again as he did it.

  I still didn’t move. “Did you get into a lot of fights when you were younger?”

  “A few, but not since. I had a lot of anger back then. I don’t anymore.”

  I lifted my eyes and caught those gray ones already intent on me. His features were smooth and even, almost carefully blank, and I wondered what he was thinking. I smiled at him, but he didn’t smile back.

  Instead, Rhodes asked, “You? Did you get into fights when you were younger?”

  “No. No way. I hate confrontations. I have to be really mad to raise my voice. Most stuff doesn’t bother me anyway. My feelings don’t get hurt that easily,” I told him. “You can fix a lot of things by just listening to someone and giving them a hug.” I pointed at a couple spots on my face and arms. “All my scars are from being accident-prone.”

  His snort caught me off guard. From his facial expression, I think it did him too.

  “Are you laughing at me?” I asked, grinning.

  His mouth twitched, but his eyes were bright for the first time. “Not at you. At me.”

  I narrowed my eyes, playing with him.

  His finger brushed mine as his mouth formed a full-on smile that could have made me fall in love on the spot if it had lasted any longer than the blink it did. “I’ve never met anybody like you.”

  “I hope that’s a good thing?”

  “I’ve met people who don’t know what it’s like to be sad. I’ve met resilient people. But you….” He shook his head, his gaze watching me closely in that rabid raccoon way. “You got this spark of life that nothing and no one has taken away despite the things that have happened to you, and I don’t understand how you still manage to… be you.”

  My chest ached for a moment in not a bad way. “I’m not always happy. I’m sad sometimes. I told you, not a lot hurts my feelings, but when something gets under there, it really gets under there.” I let his words settle deep inside of me, this soothing, warm balm I didn’t know I needed. “But thank you. That’s one of the nicest things anyone has ever said about me.”

  Those gray eyes moved over my face again, something troubled flashing across his eyes for a moment so brief I thought I might have imagined it. Because the next thing he said was normal. More than normal. “Thank you for bringing me out here.” He paused. “And giving me a few more gray hairs from the way you were driving.”

  He was joking. Hold the presses. I smiled at him sweetly, trying to act normal. “I like your silver hair, but if you want to drive back, you can.”

  His huff made me smile, but the way his finger grazed my hand made me smile even more.

  Chapter 20

  “What are you doing?”

  I popped up from where I’d been down on one knee, padded against the gravel by my jacket. I smiled at Rhodes, who had snuck so quietly out of his house that I hadn’t heard the door open or close. It was Thursday evening, and he’d not just gotten home early, but he’d changed out of his uniform and into thin sweatpants—Don’t look at his crotch, Ora—and another T-shirt that I’d seen before. Something about the Navy was washed out on it.

  Rhodes really was the hottest forty-two-year-old on the planet. He had to be. At least, I thought so.

  Something had changed between us since the day we’d spent on our UTV adventure. We’d even finally exchanged phone numbers once we’d gotten back. Whatever it was, was small and more than likely only noticeable to me, but it felt significant. We hadn’t spent a whole lot of time together since—he’d been working extra-long hours lately—but the two times I had seen him when he’d gotten home early enough and Amos was in the garage with me, he’d given me these long, watchful looks that were less rabid raccoon and more… something else.

  Whatever it was had the little hairs on the nape of my neck coming to attention. I really didn’t think I was making something out of nothing either. It was an awareness, like when you’re washing your hair and you’ve held your breath for too long and suddenly there it is, that breath you needed that tells you that you aren’t drowning.

  But I was trying not to think about it too much. He liked me well enough to be around me and not have a terrible time, I knew now. In his own way. He worried about my safety, I was pretty sure. Rhodes had called me his friend that day his father had been over.

  And I had a bone-deep feeling that this decent, quiet man didn’t use the word “friend” very often or lightly. And he didn’t freely give away his time either. He had with me though.

  So it was with that knowledge, with that something in my heart toward him that was definitely affection for someone so private, that I held up the thin fabric in my hand. “Trying to do a dummy run with my new tent,” I told him, “and failing.”

  Coming to a stop on the other side of where all my supplies were laid out, Rhodes leaned over and inspected the equipment. Blues and blacks overlapped each other in a mess.

  “It’s not labeled right… I spilled water on the booklet, and I haven’t figured out what goes into what and where,” I explained. “I haven’t felt this dumb since I started working at the shop.”

  “You’re not dumb for not knowing things,” he said before crouching. “Do you have the box or a picture of it?”

  He said the nicest things sometimes.

  I went around the side of the house where I’d left the box by the trash cans that Amos dragged out once a week and brought it back, setting it beside him.

  Rhodes glanced up and caught my eyes briefly as he took it. A notch appeared between his eyebrows at the image on the cardboard box, his lips twisting to one side before he nodded. “Do you have a Sharpie?”

  “Yeah.”

  Those gray eyes flicked up to mine again. “Get it. We can mark off each piece so you know what meets up with what.”

  I wasn’t taking this opportunity for granted. Back upstairs, I grabbed a silver Sharpie from my purse and took it to him. Rhodes had already started piling the poles of the tent together, his face thoughtful.

  I crouched down next to him and handed the permanent marker over.

  His callused fingertips brushed mine as he took it, plucking off the top with his opposite hand and making a thoughtful sound in his throat as he held up a piece. “This is clearly one of the pieces that goes over the top, see?”

  I didn’t.

  “This one looks just like that one,” he explained patiently, picking up another pole and setting it with the first.

  All right, I could see that. “Oh, yeah.”

  After a moment, he lifted up the box to look again, scratching the top of his head, then swapping things around. Then he did it again and hummed in his throat.

  I took in the blurred pieces on the instructions that I’d accidentally given a bath to. I squinted. I guess it sort of looked right.

  Eventually, he starte
d connecting pieces together, and when he stood back—half of them used—he nodded to himself. “Where are you going camping?”

  I stood up straight. “Gunnison.”

  He scratched at his head, still focusing on the pieces of the tent he’d constructed. “Alone?”

  “No.” I moved the booklet around a little bit to see if that made more sense. It didn’t. “Clara invited me to go with her to Gunnison this weekend. It’s going to be me, her, Jackie, and one of her sisters-in-law. Her brother is staying with Mr. Nez. She offered to let me borrow one of her tents, but I wanted to be a big girl and buy my own so I have it for the future, in case I go camping again. I know I used to like going, but that was a long time ago.”

  “Yeah, that piece goes there,” he said after I’d connected one of the poles I’d picked up. “A long time ago? When you lived here?”

  “Yeah, my mom and I used to go,” I answered, watching him hook up another pole. “I’m pretty excited, actually. I remember we used to have a lot of fun. Making s’mores—”

  “There’s a fire ban.”

  “I know. We’re using her stove.” I squinted at some of the poles and flipped it around. “Maybe I’ll hate sleeping on the ground, but I won’t know unless I try.”

  Without looking at me, he took that same pole and moved it where it actually looked right.

  “You’re good,” I told him after he’d done a couple more and it really started to look like it should. “You don’t do a whole lot of camping then? Since Amos isn’t about it?”

  Rhodes was taking the Sharpie out of his pocket as he answered, “Not often. When I’ve gone hunting or for training, but that’s about it.” He paused, and I thought that was the end of it as he put the marker between his teeth and finished connecting the last few pieces, but he surprised me when he kept talking. “My older brother used to take us all the time. That’s the most fun I remember having back then.”

  His brief story perked me up as he started moving along the rods, marking them with the silver color. “Do you have more than one brother?”

  “Three. Two older, one younger. It got us out of the house and out of trouble,” he said in a strange tone that told me there was more to it than that.

  “Where do they all live?”

  “Colorado Springs, Juneau, and Boulder,” he answered.

  Yet none of them, including his dad, ever came over. Colorado Springs and Boulder weren’t exactly down the street, but they weren’t that far either. The one in Alaska was the only exception, at least I thought.

  Like he could read my mind, he kept talking. “They don’t come down here much. No reason to. We meet up a couple times a year, or they used to come visit when I was in Florida. Everybody liked visiting when I was there, mostly for the theme parks.”

  No reason to? Even though his not-exactly-dad-of-the-year father was only an hour away? And where was his mom? “Why didn’t you take Amos and move up closer to where one of them lives?”

  He kept on marking away. “Amos grew up here. Living on base wasn’t for me when I had to, and I don’t miss living in big cities. And when I applied to become a game warden, they opened the office in Durango. I don’t believe in fate, but it seemed like it to me.”

  To me too. “Is your mom in the picture?” I asked before I could stop myself.

  The Sharpie stopped moving, and I knew I didn’t imagine the gruffness in his voice when he said, “No. Last I heard she passed away a few years ago.”

  Last he heard. That wasn’t loaded. “I’m really sorry.”

  Even though Rhodes was looking down, he still shook his head. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. I don’t lose sleep over her.”

  If that wasn’t some deep fury, I didn’t know what was.

  And he must have surprised himself because he glanced up and frowned. “We didn’t have a good relationship.”

  “I’m sorry, Rhodes. I’m sorry for asking.”

  That handsome face went rigid. “Don’t. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Rhodes’s attention moved back to the tent a little too quickly, and he seemed to take another steeling breath before saying, “Let’s take it apart and do it again with the canopy, just to make sure all the numbers match up and you’ve got it.”

  Someone was done talking about his parents. I already knew better than to ask people such personal questions, but I could never seem to stop myself. “Thank you,” I blurted out. “For helping me.”

  “Sure” was all he replied with. His tone said it all though.

  * * *

  Two days later, I was sitting on the edge of the bed, shaking my foot and trying my best not to feel disappointed.

  But mostly failing at that.

  I had been really, really looking forward to going camping.

  But I knew that shit happens, and that’s exactly what had been the case. Clara had gotten a call while we’d still been at the store, just about getting ready to shut down. Her nephew had broken his arm, and he and her brother were on their way to the hospital.

  I could tell Clara had been disappointed as hell in the first place from the way her shoulders had dropped and the way she’d sighed.

  And on such short notice, she wouldn’t find anyone else to stay. Her dad’s daytime caretaker had plans. Her other brothers… I wasn’t sure, but I’d bet if they could have done it, she would have asked.

  Then again, knowing Clara, she would rather not.

  So, we made plans to make camping happen some other time. I’d offered to stay with her dad the next day if she wanted to get out of the house, but one thing led to another, and Jackie offered to stay home. We’d agreed to go on a hike tomorrow instead, even though I knew she wasn’t much of a hiker. She swore up and down she could handle it, and I wasn’t going to tell her what she could and couldn’t do. If we had to turn around, it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

  And that was why I found myself on a Saturday night at home, feeling just a little disappointed.

  I could go camping by myself some other day….

  No, I couldn’t.

  A knock on the door though had me sitting up.

  “Aurora?” through the window, a voice called out from downstairs.

  I knew who it was and got up. “Rhodes?” I replied before taking the steps as fast as I could in my socked feet.

  “It’s me,” he said just as I reached the bottom, flipping the lock and pulling the door wide.

  I gave him the friendliest smile I could muster. “Hey.”

  I knew he’d just gotten home not too long ago, I’d heard his truck. He’d already changed out of his uniform, settling for dark jeans and a formfitting T-shirt that I would have eyeballed him in if I could have done it sneakily. “Getting a little late to be leaving, isn’t it?” he asked.

  It took me a second to blink at what he was asking. “Oh, we’re not going after all.”

  “You’re leaving tomorrow?”

  “No, not this weekend. Clara’s brother had an emergency, and he couldn’t come down to stay with their dad, and his usual caretaker had a funeral,” I explained, watching him watching me. His eyes moved over my face as I talked, like he was measuring my words.

  His smooth right cheek flexed.

  “Another time, I guess,” I told him. “What are you two doing this weekend?”

  His “Nothing” took a moment to come out of his mouth. “Johnny picked up Am, and they’re doing something tonight.” His cheek twitched again. “I saw your light on and wanted to make sure you were all right since you said you were leaving right after work.”

  “Oh. Yeah. No, I’m here, and I’m good. Clara and I are going to try and do that hike you saved me on, when half my skin ate gravel.”

  He nodded as he narrowed his eyes a little, thoughtful.

  I thought about it. “I was thinking about making a pizza right now, do you want half?”

  “Half?” he asked slowly.

  “I can make you your own if you want….” I trailed off. “I’m hung
ry actually. I can eat a whole one, but I have two.”

  For some reason, that made the corners of his mouth tighten.

  “What?”

  “Nothing, I wouldn’t be able to picture you eating a whole pizza if I hadn’t seen you nearly do it on Am’s birthday.”

  I almost winced at the memory of the shit show that day had been. I’d never asked what happened with the mouse, and I wasn’t going to ask now. I shrugged and smiled. “I had a big salad for lunch. It balances out, I think.”

  “Make two pizzas. I’ll get you another one next time I go to the store,” he said after a moment of looking at my face again.

  Did he have to be so handsome?

  “Yeah?” I asked, sounding way too excited.

  He nodded soberly, but there was still something in his eyes that seemed very, very thoughtful. “What do you think? Thirty minutes?”

  “Maybe? By the time I heat up the oven and both pizzas cook, closer to forty?”

  Rhodes took a step back. “I’ll be back then.”

  “Okay,” I said as he took another step. I waited to close the door until he’d turned and jogged back to his house.

  Why he jogged back, I had no idea, but okay. Maybe he had to take a poop. Or he hadn’t exercised. Amos had confirmed one day that his dad got up early to go to the twenty-four-hour gym in town a few days a week. Sometimes he did push-ups at home. He’d volunteered the information randomly, but I hadn’t complained.

  Back upstairs, I preheated the oven and wondered if he was planning on eating with me or taking the pizza back to his house.

  I wondered for a second if he’d planned on going on a date tonight and that’s why he asked if I was sticking around, but no.

  Unless he was planning on sharing his pizza….

  No, that didn’t seem like him either.

  Well, whatever, if he wanted to eat with me, awesome. If he didn’t, I could watch a movie. I had a new book. I could call Yuki to check on her. Or my aunt.