Just One Moment

by Dena Blake

  “I think it was dinner,” Whitney said before closing the door.

  Shay waited for Whitney to buckle in and start the car before asking more questions. “Were Chloe and I happy?”

  “Very.” Whitney’s voice was soft, contented even.

  “Things are different now.”

  “Different how?” Whitney asked, acting like she had no idea.

  “I feel I can be candid with you, that we trust one another. Is that right?” Shay shifted sideways in her seat.

  “We always have in the past.” Whitney glanced over and then back at the road.

  “She doesn’t kiss me, touch me, nothing at all like she used to.” She took a deep breath. “That’s not entirely true. She has a few times, but after it happens, she immediately backs off like she’s done something wrong.”

  Whitney shrugged. “Well, you’ve been in an accident and need to recover.” She said it like it was the most obvious statement in the world.

  “How can I fully recover if the woman I love refuses to have sex with me?”

  “She’s just being careful.” Whitney glanced at her and then focused on the road again. “I’m sure that will come.”

  “I don’t want careful—I want passionate and reckless.” She hadn’t intended the growl she let out to be so loud, but the sound filled the car.

  Whitney grinned. “Don’t we all? Maybe she’s worried about moving too fast. What does the doctor say?”

  “To go on with life normally. The memories may or may not come back.”

  “But you want to remember.” Whitney was making a statement.

  “Of course I do. Wouldn’t you?”

  Whitney took a minute, then nodded and smiled. “Yes, I believe I would.”

  “Can you fill in the blanks for me?” She was grasping at straws now because no one had been forthcoming with any information. Shay wondered who she’d confided in before. Where that person went—where they were now. Why weren’t they here now?

  “Only the blanks I know.” Whitney didn’t look at her but kept her eyes focused on the road in front of them. They were almost home. After they pulled up in front of the beach house, Whitney put the car into park but didn’t turn off the engine.

  “Will you stay with me until Chloe gets home?” She wanted the blanks filled in now.

  Whitney hit the ignition button and the car died. “Of course.”

  * * *

  It was a little past eleven when Chloe arrived home, and she was surprised to see Jackson’s car in the driveway. Whitney had taken his car, and he’d stayed to help with cleanup. She’d dropped him off at their apartment on her way home, thinking Whitney would be there already. She opened the door, took her shoes off in the entryway, and padded quietly into the living room, where Whitney and Shay were asleep. Shay lay on the couch and Whitney in the club chair with her feet up on the coffee table, a habit she’d had since before Chloe met her. Although tempted to push her feet to the floor, she didn’t want to wake Shay. She circled the coffee table and stood next to her. Her eyes opened immediately.

  “You’re awake.”

  Whitney nodded. “I wasn’t really sleeping.” She checked the time on her phone. “You got done a little earlier than usual.”

  “Yeah. I wanted to get home as soon as possible. Jackson was a big help.”

  “That’s my man.” She looked over her shoulder. “You took him home?”

  She nodded. “I didn’t think you’d still be here.”

  “She wanted me to stay.” Whitney sat up, stretched, and slid on her shoes.

  “I was worried. Is she okay?”

  “She’s fine.” Whitney looked over her shoulder at Shay on the couch and motioned with her hand to move to the kitchen. “Curious, but fine.”

  “What did she ask you?”

  “Everything.”

  “And you told her?”

  “Of course not. I filled in a few blanks about your career, but I left the hard stuff for you.” Whitney opened the refrigerator, took out a couple of bottles of water, and handed one to her. “She misses the old you.”

  “The old me is gone.”

  “Is she?” Whitney raised an eyebrow. “I think I saw quite a bit of her tonight.” She twisted the cap off the water bottle and tossed it onto the counter. “You still love her.”

  “I never said I didn’t love her, Whit. But our lives have just changed so much in the past year. I don’t know if I can get back to the way we were.”

  “Well, she’s already back there, and you have to do something.”

  “Do what, Whitney?”

  “Remember. Forget. Start all over.” Whitney shrugged. “If you don’t, you’re both going to get hurt again.”

  “That’s probably going to happen anyway.”

  “She wants sex—primal, mind-blowing, take-me-now sex. She sees the line you’ve drawn and wants to blow right past it.” Whitney pressed her finger to the counter and trailed it between them.

  “Jesus, Whit. There’s nothing more I’d rather do than forget everything that happened over the past six months, but I was totally blindsided. Wrecked for months, and still not totally recovered. What if she does that to me again? I don’t know if I can handle it.”

  “That’s possible.” Whitney tilted her head. “Isn’t what you had worth the risk?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” She took in a deep breath. “Thanks for bringing her home.”

  “The kind of love you and Shay had is rare. We don’t come across it more than once in a lifetime. If you let her go, you’ll just end up searching for something to measure up to what you had. Fate has brought the Shay you fell in love with back to you. You have a second chance, so save yourself some grief and just let her in.”

  She took a gulp of water. Everything Whitney said made perfect sense. “When did you become so wise?”

  “I married your brother.” She chuckled. “But seriously. I know you moved on, but you haven’t really been happy without her.” Whitney squeezed her shoulder. “Think about it.”

  “Believe me. That’s all I think about now.” She walked her to the door and gave Whitney a hug before she opened it and clicked it closed silently after she left. She leaned against the door for a few moments before she went back into the living room, sat in the chair adjacent to the couch, and watched Shay sleep. So beautiful and innocent. This was the woman she fell in love with. She reached out to touch her, hovered momentarily, then balled her hand into a fist and pulled back.

  Her instincts told her to slide in next to her and take her into her arms like she would’ve a year ago, but she couldn’t move. Even though Shay had blocked the memory of her indiscretion, Chloe hadn’t and didn’t know if she was ready to fully forgive her. And if Shay ever remembered, would she be able to forgive Chloe for moving on so quickly with Erica? She shook her head. The biggest fucking mistake of her life.

  * * *

  Ruby-red lips, green eyes, and auburn hair seeped into Shay’s dream. The scent of cherries and vanilla permeated her senses. The memory was so vivid she shuddered. It was as though the event had happened only yesterday. She was working late with someone she knew, but it wasn’t Amber. This girl was much younger. Lila.

  They’d been concentrating on the new product specifications when she’d looked up, and the girl was just watching her. Staring, in fact. Then she smiled and moved in for a kiss.

  “Whoa. What’s that about?” Shay backed up and stared. Why was this happening? Had she given her any signals? She hadn’t, had she?

  “I just thought…” The girl shrugged. She seemed just as confused as Shay was. “You seemed to like it the last time.”

  What the fuck? The last time? She was semiconscious now, trying to pull the rest of the memory in clearer. She had to know how and why this had happened.

  The girl looked away, seemed a little guilty, and then caught eye contact again. “When you told me about the issues you’re having with Chloe, your suspicions about her and
that customer she’s been spending so much time with.”

  Shay’s mind spun as the memory surged into her head. She bolted up on the couch. They had gone out a few times. She had kissed those lips before, and she’d enjoyed the attention she’d given her. What else had she done? She wasn’t getting a good feeling about it now.

  Something was stirring in her heart—guilt, fear, anxiety. She couldn’t pinpoint it, but something wasn’t right. Chloe was clearly protecting her from herself. At least now, she had a starting point. She would gather more information and then move into deeper waters.

  * * *

  Shay had been awake most of the night after her awkward dream. She hadn’t been able to shake the vision from her head and felt extremely guilty for having it. Overhearing Chloe and Whitney talking in the kitchen had added to her insomnia. Their words were faint, but she got the gist of the conversation. Between the vivid dream and what she’d overheard, now she knew there were reasons for Chloe’s distance. Something major had happened between them. Later, as she lay on the couch pretending to be asleep, she’d felt Chloe’s hand hover above her cheek, but she hadn’t touched her, another indication that something wasn’t right. What it was, she didn’t know, but she intended to find out.

  She wasn’t supposed to drive yet, but Chloe had already arranged a rental car for her, and it was sitting in the driveway. It was an automatic, so her left leg didn’t come into play at all. She pulled up in front of the office building and sat in the car for a moment, staring up at the huge mirrored high-rise in front of her. It looked familiar, and she hadn’t forgotten the way here or the way people darted in and out of traffic on the highway. Not even the shortcuts she’d always taken to avoid the morning commute traffic had escaped her memory.

  She’d accepted the job three years ago. No, that would be four years now, leaving the small insurance firm she’d worked at before for bigger, bolder opportunities. Chloe’s art hadn’t been selling, and they’d been struggling to pay their monthly bills. Even though this job was a little farther away and required her to work more hours, it had alleviated a lot of the pressure.

  It was now or never. She got out of her car and headed inside. She checked the directory—same floor as she remembered. She waited and caught the next elevator and punched the button next to the number four. When the doors opened, she stepped out and stopped, rethinking her decision. Her breathing shallowed and the room became smaller. She turned and punched the down button. Glancing toward the stair door, she took in a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself, and headed that way.

  She heard voices in the stairwell and retreated into the hall. Where could she go? There was no place but inside the office. She pulled open the door and took a sharp left away from the cubicles located in the main room, one of which used to be hers. She had no idea if she even still had a place here. She came upon an office with her name on the door and stopped. Shay Buchanan, Chief Actuary. She’d actually gotten the promotion she’d been working so hard for.

  She turned the knob and went inside. All the things from her cubicle were here, and someone seemed to have arranged them carefully. Probably her. She picked up the picture of herself and Chloe. They seemed happy. The sun was shining, and the ocean was foaming behind them on the beach. She smiled. That had been a good day.

  A voice sounded behind her, and she whirled around to find a young man with short, dark, spiked hair that seemed to point whichever way it wanted. Dressed in a navy-blue suit that seemed tighter than necessary, he didn’t look much older than eighteen.

  “How did you get in here?” he asked.

  “The door was open.” She turned back to the desk, searching for any sign that she’d actually used this office before the accident. A vision of being pushed up against the wall and being kissed flew through her mind, and she shuddered. Apparently, she’d used it in more ways than one.

  “It was unlocked, but not open,” he said, moving toward her. “Ms. Buchanan isn’t in. Can I direct you to someone else?”

  The young man had absolutely no idea who she was. Did she look that different? Maybe he was new. She turned and rested a hand on the desk. “Amber. I’d like to see Amber if she’s available.”

  He narrowed his eyes and assessed her for a moment, possibly contemplating whether it was safe to leave her alone in the office. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

  After a few minutes, she heard the young man talking to someone with a familiar voice.

  When Amber came through the doorway, her eyes widened. “Oh my God. I can’t believe you’re here,” she said with a squeal as she pulled her into a hug. “I’ve missed you so much.” She turned to the young man and held out her hands as if presenting her prized pig. “This is Ms. Buchanan.”

  “Oh. I had no idea. She just appeared in here.” He didn’t smile, just shook his head and left the room.

  “Sorry, he’s new.” Amber rolled her eyes. “Interns.”

  That made her feel a little better. She hadn’t forgotten everyone. Amber continued to smile and stare. “What?” Shay put her fingers to her mouth. “Do I have something in my teeth?”

  “No.” Amber shook her head. “You just look really great.”

  The heat of a blush took over her face. “Thanks.” She’d never been good at receiving compliments.

  “You want to go say hi to everyone?”

  “No.” That wasn’t in her plan for today at all. “If you don’t mind, I’d just like to talk to you. Get some things straight in my head.”

  “Right.” Amber’s eyebrows pulled together. “Jackson told me you have some blank spots.”

  That was an understatement. She’d lost a whole fucking year, or close to it—at least eight or nine months. “Yes, that’s true. Can you help me?”

  “You bet. I’m happy to fill in wherever I can.” Amber moved quickly out the door. “Let’s go talk in my office.”

  She stopped and stared at her name on the door, touched it with her fingers, felt the ridges in her name. This had been one of her life goals, so why couldn’t she remember it?

  Amber seemed to notice her confusion. “The plaque finally came in. Looks good, huh?” She rolled her lips together. “You don’t remember the promotion?”

  “No. One of the blank spots.” Shay shook her head. She seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. She had no recollection of the promotion at all.

  “Lila can probably help refresh you on that, but she’s out until the end of the week.” Amber pulled the office door closed and led her farther down the hall.

  Lila. A face flashed in her memory. Green eyes, wavy auburn hair, and a magnetic smile. Her stomach knotted, an unexpected reaction. “I don’t remember much about her.”

  “Really?” Amber stopped and arched an eyebrow.

  “Green eyes and auburn hair, right?”

  Amber nodded and lowered her voice. “And drop-dead gorgeous legs. The kind most twenty-five-year-olds have.” She took her hand and pulled her into her office. “I’m kind of surprised you don’t remember her. You two were working together quite a lot before your accident.” She slid into place behind her desk.

  “I remember the name and the face, but that’s it.” She sank into the chair across from Amber. “Was something else going on with Lila?”

  “Well, there were rumors, but you squashed them right away.” Amber avoided eye contact. “Lila never denied them.”

  “Rumors? What rumors?”

  “Never mind. I shouldn’t have said anything. They were exactly that. Unsubstantiated office gossip. I don’t know if any of it was true.”

  “Jesus, Amber. I don’t remember anything about her. You have to tell me.”

  Amber rubbed her forehead before she got up and closed the office door. “Listen. All I know is that before we rolled out that new policy, you and Lila were spending a lot of time together working on it.”

  “That’s not unusual. That’s what it takes when you’re defining statistics for new products.”

&n
bsp; “No, I mean a lot. Like after hours here and away from the office too.”

  “Away from here?” Oh, shit. She’d never done that before. She’d worked from home when necessary, but never outside of the office with anyone else.

  Amber nodded. “I don’t know anything more than that, except that people noticed how familiarly she talked about you. She acted like she knew things about you. Personal things. Who knows if they were true.”

  Shay shot out of her chair and paced the floor. The room suddenly became suffocating, and the back of her neck tingled. How could people think that of her? “Well, rumors are created by lonely people who don’t have lives of their own.” Her voice sounded low and angry even to her.

  Amber leaned back and held up her hands. “Hey. Don’t get mad at me. You wanted to know.”

  “I’m sorry. It just bothers me that people think I would do anything to jeopardize my marriage to Chloe.”

  “I get that.” Amber shrugged. “I think we’re pretty good friends, and you never said anything to me about it. Well, only about how Chloe’s art career had exploded and that she was spending a huge amount of time at the gallery and events.”

  “That was this past year?” Shay had missed it all—the good and the bad.

  Amber’s eyes widened, and she nodded. “Yes. She’s amazing.” She pointed to the wall behind her. “You brought me that, remember?”

  She turned, moved to the wall, and studied the abstract oil painting hanging there. She didn’t remember. Not even a glimmer of recollection. “Did I mention anyone else in Chloe’s life?” she said, hovering her fingers above the lines of the painting and tracing them in the air.

  She shook her head. “No. Nothing about anyone else.”

  Her stomach churned. She’d done something wrong. Crossed a boundary. Created friction between them. Maybe they both had. She’d worked hard and gotten the promotion, but at what cost? Now what did she have? “When will Lila be back?”

  “She’s been splitting her time between the two offices. I think she’s coming here this week, but let me make sure.” Amber made a few clicks on her computer keyboard. “Yep. In town on Wednesday night. She’ll be in the office Thursday.” She stood up and joined her in front of the painting. “You’re lucky to catch her on her weekly visit.”